My weekend in one of the UK’s best party cities

YOU might have thought going on a barge break would be relaxing, quiet and peaceful being surrounded by nothing but nature and water.

That’s what I thought too, before I moored up on what was one of the biggest party spots in the Midlands.

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Birmingham’s Gas Street basin is one of the most iconic stretches of canal in the world. So when we found a free mooring spot right there in the city centre we were delighted.

We tied up our rented barge to the metal posts and went out for dinner and a couple of drinks.

It was only when we returned to spend the evening on board that we realised it was going to be somewhat noisier than a few passing dog walkers or nesting geese at 5pm had initially made us realise.

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Because by 9pm, it felt like we were moored on the party strip in Ayia Napa. 

There were disco boats with banging music passing on one side, and large groups of boisterous pedestrians on the other – passing very loudly between one bar or club and another. 

We had inadvertently plonked ourselves right in the very party heart of the Midlands. 

One year-round barge user told me that he has moored in this very spot before only to wake up adrift – one of those boisterous party people had untied him in the middle of the night as a prank.

It wasn’t until after two in the morning when the last of the last orders were called that it began to quieten down – and we started to hear the sound of geese again rather than dance music.

Thankfully we were still tied to those posts though. 

So the next morning, after coffee, we moved the boat another half a mile to a quieter spot where we would spend our second night in Brum. 

It was the only blip on what was to be a terrific long weekend in the Second City.

Because although I’d been to Birmingham several times before I’d never really devoted any time to the place – just headed straight to whatever job I had and then gone off again.

This trip was an attempt to redress this miss. And it was great fun – Birmingham was a blast. 

We aren’t the first people to realise this. The city has had a lot of money spent on it and tourism here has had a shot in the arm – not least from the success of Peaky Blinders, which is celebrated across the centre. You can’t miss the many references. 

Thanks to our very central location, it was also extremely navigable: that meal we had, at Indian street food restaurant Indico Mailbox, was barely a five minute walk from our bed. 

And, as Londoners, it felt very cheap. Very cheap indeed.

At one point I confidently told a bar worker that she had only charged us for one of our two drinks. She hadn’t, it really was £5.25 for a pint and a glass of wine. 

That was the cheapest round of quite a few – we found, as we often do, that a good way to see the sights was by turning our day there into a pub crawl.

So although we did get into some set piece tourism spots – the very good city gallery, the cathedral with its spectacular stained glass windows etc – it was while walking from one pub to another.

And goodness, does Birmingham have a vibrant pub scene. 

The standouts were: The Wellington, with its incredible array of real ales and ciders, The Craven Arms, The Spotted Dog and the Woodman.

The latter is currently isolated in the middle of vast building works next door to one of the oldest stations in the world, Curzon Street, which will also become one of the newest when HS2 finally opens.

Remarkably it still functions as a top, top boozer despite this. So that was our time in the city – now onto how we got there.

And this was what they call a life hack: we realised that for the same money it would cost to spend two nights in a city centre hotel and eat out for every meal, we could hire a barge and do (most of) our own cooking, as well as picking our own berth (see above for the pitfalls in this aspect of the plan).

We went as a single couple but two couples sharing could do this even more affordably – most boats have two double rooms.

We picked up our boat from – and returned it to – the marina at Alvechurch, some 11 miles south of the city centre.

It’s an interesting journey into the city for two main reasons.

Firstly you get to travel through – and if you like, you can tie up to explore – the famous Bournville suburb, where the Cadbury brothers, real-life Willy Wonkas, built a model Victorian neighbourhood for their chocolate factory workers – and it remains largely unchanged. 

Then there’s the dramatic Wast Hill tunnel, at 1.5 miles one of the longest in Britain’s entire 3000 mile canal network, which takes longer to navigate by slow moving barge than the train journey through the Channel Tunnel.

It has an extraordinary and slightly ghostly atmosphere within: complete darkness except for that distant pinprick of light at the end of the tunnel. 

But the great advantage of this short trip is that there are no locks! Just a five-hour each way tour followed by one single, easy-to-perform U-turn at the end before your return leg. 

It is without doubt the least demanding, most relaxing canal trip I have ever done. 

The only thing that could have improved it would have been if I were still young enough to have taken advantage of all that nightlife on our doorstep – or rather barge step.