I visited the French theme park with the country’s tallest and fastest rollercoaster & flights are £29

YOU’LL need plenty of Gaul to brave the rides at Parc Asterix.

As an experienced theme park fan, I thought I’d seen it all but some of the rollercoasters at this theme park, north-east of Paris, left me feeling like a Roman soldier on the wrong end of a clobbering from Obelix.

I took my wife and our daughters, aged five and three, and I must confess I wasn’t sure what to expect.

Despite having been a fan of the Asterix comics growing up, I had no idea France had its own theme park dedicated to the combative Gaul.

But in fact, Parc Asterix predates Disneyland Paris by three years, and in the past decade or so has really ramped up its offering to compete.

And sacre bleu, does it ever!

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The park is divided into areas themed around parts of the ancient world, including Rome, Greece, Egypt and Gaul itself, with Londinium on the way in 2028.

Rides include Cetautomatix, a spinning chariot coaster; Trace du Hourra (Trail of Hooray) which is like a juddering luge track; and the bone-shuddering Tonnerre 2 Zeus (Zeus’s Thunder) wooden coaster, which left me feeling elated but also like I’d been in some sort of crash.

There is also a clutch of river rapids and log flumes, refreshing on a hot day, including one called Le Grand Splatch (I’ll let you work out the translation), although it was actually the Menhir Express — menhirs being the enormous boulders beloved by Obelix — that left me thoroughly drenched and giggling.

Despite the play parks and small rides for toddlers, I did feel that at three, my youngest Alyssa was a bit too ­little to get the most out of it. My five-year-old, Bronwyn, had more ride options but I think from seven up would get the best experience.

One thing to also take on board is that Parc Asterix is proudly French, and a smattering of the language is useful, especially for the shows, although even if you don’t understand a word, attractions such as the 4D cinema Attention Menhir! are certainly a hoot.

We stayed at Les Quais de Lutece — one of three themed hotels and counting on site — designed to look like a fort on the ancient River Seine, and it made a great base for exploring the park, with early entry to the park to beat the crowds.

Being so close was also helpful for the late-night drone, laser, water and fireworks show over the park’s lake, which was a memorable way to ­finish the day.

I’ve left the biggest rides until last, and I’ve been showing people back home the “POV” videos on YouTube to show how impressive they are.

First we were steered towards the Pegase Express, and as it was dark I hadn’t seen in advance what awaited us.

Assuming that as Bronwyn passed the height limit it would be fine for her, I soon realised I’d miscalculated and as she clung to me, even I was wondering if I’d ­bitten off more than I could chew.

A rollicking rollercoaster took us up to Medusa’s temple, where the Gorgon lost her temper and sent her snakes chasing us BACKWARDS down another twisty-turny track.

Once she’d recovered, Bronwyn enjoyed the far gentler Vol d’Icare (Flight Of Icarus) rollercoaster much more and asked to go back on it two further times over the weekend.

Definitely for bigger thrillseekers only was the Goudurix, a barrelling coaster that at one stage had the most loops in Europe.

Same with the OzIris, which was probably the most exhilarating ride — a Nemesis-style leg-dangling coaster.

Finally — having saved the very best until last — there’s the Toutatis, and just looking at this one made me gulp.

It’s France’s tallest, fastest rollercoaster, which launches you forwards at speeds of up to 66mph and features a backwards element, an ingenious switch-track, and a vertical arch that you only get up and over on the second attempt before going straight down the other side.

So there’s only one question you have to answer to see if you’re ready to take on Parc Asterix:

Are you a menhir or a mouse?