CHEAP cocktails, mango sticky rice for £1.65 and trained monkeys picking coconuts – Koh Samui is nothing like the White Lotus fantasy I expected.
And that’s what makes it so brilliant.
Sure, there are luxury resorts and picture-perfect beaches, but the real Thailand is in the busy beach bars flogging happy-hour deals, tiny restaurants with garish tablecloths, and the constant thump of Thai boxing promotions from crackling loudspeakers.
I stayed at the Anantara Lawana — where The White Lotus cast filmed bar scenes in its Singing Bird Lounge.
The hotel has a grand entrance with a gong that you hit upon entering, a private beach scattered with sunbeds, an infinity pool and a peaceful spa.
Some rooms have swim-up pools and I admit I’ve become partial to an outdoor shower — as long as it isn’t raining. In a hotel this perfect, with everything at your fingertips, it could be tempting not to leave.
But that would mean missing the real Koh Samui.
My guide, Nong, called it “coconut island” — the island produces 200 million a year, many plucked by trained monkeys.
Over the next few days, he made sure I saw as much of the island as possible, though the furry labourers remained elusive.
Nong told me there are around 25 temples on the island — some are big tourist draws, others are tucked away in smaller communities where locals worship.
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Cheerful Buddha
We travelled all over Koh Samui hunting down these brightly coloured shrines.
At Wat Phra Yai sits the Big Buddha — a 40ft statue built in 1972 that dominates the skyline and can be seen from miles away.
Close by is the beautiful Wat Plai Laem complex, which has the 18-armed Guanyin and a cheerful Buddha statue.
Koh Samui is Thailand’s second-largest island, and you can drive around the ring road in about an hour — though you’d be rushing past some of the best bits.
We made lots of stops along the tour to take in the views.
The beaches lived up to expectations — Chaweng is one of the most popular — but there are many pockets of coast where you’ll find secret sandy spots and likely be the only people around.
We also visited the Elephant Kingdom Sanctuary, where 16 rescued elephants live out their days in comfort.
From a skywalk, I watched them splash in pools and demolish piles of bananas.
Koh Samui also works as a jumping-off point for the surrounding islands.
We took a speedboat to Koh Nangyuan, a tiny protected marine park about 45 minutes away, where white sand connects three little peaks.
While most claimed their patch of beach, I went straight into the water.
The shallows are packed with coral, rainbow parrotfish and bright yellow butterflyfish — it’s the kind of place that justifies getting up early for a boat ride.
I also paid a visit to the northern side of the island , for a cooking class in Bo Phut.
I’m a disaster in the kitchen, so I was wary to get stuck in.
But Chef Lat was enthusiastic and welcoming, and soon had me chopping lemongrass and frying prawns.
He demonstrated how to create a chicken and ginger curry, stir-fried prawns with yellow curry and a sweet, spicy papaya salad.
My new favourite, though is a massaman chicken curry. You eat everything you make, too.
Our days exploring the island were brilliant, but it was the street food that kept pulling me away from the White Lotus life back at the resort.
Tucked away along the streets are places serving up pad Thai and spicy tom yum soup, with cocktails for £2.
As for sweet treats, mango sticky rice is a revelation and, at £1.65 from street vendors, you’d be mad to miss it.
When the humidity becomes unbearable, coconut ice cream is a girl’s best friend.
When everything tastes this good and costs this little, the infinity pool can wait.
GO: KOH SAMUI
GETTING/STAYING THERE: Seven nights’ B&B at Anantara Lawana Koh Samui Resort in a Deluxe Lawana room starts from £1,236pp, including return flights from Gatwick on November 3 via Singapore with Singapore Airlines. See expedia.co.uk.
OUT & ABOUT: All activities can be booked through the Expedia app. A six-hour private island tour is £68.94pp, the Samui Elephant Kingdom Ethical Sanctuary and Skywalk Tour is £65.20pp, a day trip to Koh Nangyuan and Koh Tao by speedboat starts at £48.13pp and the Thai cooking class is from £56.01pp.