Occasional Digest

Yom Ha’atzma’ut, Israeli Independence Day, commemorates the declaration of independence of Israel in 1948 and is the official national holiday of the state and the only official non-working day in Israel.

The holiday is celebrated on the fifth day of the Hebrew month of Iyar. The holiday is transferred to the preceding Thursday if 5 Iyar falls on Friday or Saturday.

The Gregorian date for the day on which Israel’s independence was proclaimed is May 14th, 1948 when David ben Gurion publicly read the Proclamation of the Establishment of the State of Israel, and the end of the British Mandate in Israel.

It is also known as Radunitsa or Radonitsa and is a festival amongst many eastern Slavs, though Belarus is the only country where it is a state holiday.

Despite its date being dependent on Easter and it being observed as an Orthodox Christian holiday, the origins of Radunitsa are pagan rather than Christian with its roots based on an ancestor festival.

On Radonitsa, families go to church and then on to the cemetery. At the family tomb, a meal is eaten and any leftovers are offered to dead relatives. In pagan times, families would have left eggs on the graves of the dead, symbolising rebirth.

When Christianity arrived in the region, rather than suppress the older traditions, the church simply absorbed the rituals into Christian festivals. The egg was an easy one as the date of spring for the ancestor worship festival fell close to Easter and the use of the egg as a symbol of rebirth fitted well with the Easter message of resurrection.

Despite honouring and remembering the dead, Radonitsa is a day of celebration not one of mourning. Indeed, in Slavic languages, Radonitsa means ‘Joy Day’.

Despite its date being dependent on Easter and it being observed as an Orthodox Christian holiday, the origins of this festival are pagan rather than Christian with its roots based on an ancestor festival.

On Memorial Easter, families go to church and then on to the cemetery. There, the family graves are cleaned and a meal is eaten with some food intentionally let to fall on the ground as an offering to dead relatives. 

In pagan times, families would have left eggs on the graves of the dead, symbolising rebirth. When Christianity arrived in the region, rather than suppress the older traditions, the church simply absorbed the rituals into Christian festivals. The egg was an easy one as the date of spring for the ancestor worship festival fell close to Easter and the use of the egg as a symbol of rebirth fitted well with the Easter message of resurrection.

AN outwardly normal couple have decided to have not one, not two, not three, but four children, it has emerged.

Anthony and Jess, not their real names, of Bush Hill have four offspring, but all appear to have been conceived, birthed and raised without their parents being visibly deranged or members of a cult.

Neighbour Martin, not his real name, said: “Initially we assumed they had some kind of contraceptive f**k-up at least twice, but apparently they really did choose to have this many children.

“They do normal things like going to work, taking the kids swimming, going on a family holiday every year. Frankly it’s creepy how they act like there’s nothing wrong.

“Sometimes they even seem happy about this waking nightmare they’ve created for themselves. Surely one day they’ll both snap and set fire to their seven-seater Citroën?”

Family friend Kah Heng, not his real name,  said: “It’s weird. They’re not religious and they know about contraception. I’d understand if they were parenting influencers getting lucrative washing powder deals, but it’s like they enjoy having kids or something.”

Youngest son Oliver said: “I’d like to have more brothers and sisters, but mummy said ‘No, there’s a limit to how many times I can watch Bluey, so f**k that’.”

As one of the first countries to take steps along the long revolutionary road to the end of European rule of Latin America, Venezuela can be excused for effectively having two independence days. 

In 1806, there had been a failed attempt to start a revolution in Venezuela by Francsico de Miranda. Despite the failure, the attempt had sowed the seed of insurrection and a few years later, events in Europe would gave the independence movement further impetuous.

In 1808, Napoleon Bonaparte invaded Spain and put his brother Joseph on the throne. Many of the Spanish colonies in Latin America remained loyal to the deposed King Ferdinand. On 17 April 1810, news that Ferdinand had been finally defeated by Napoleon reached Caracas, where the people decided independence was better than French rule.

On 19 April 1810 (Maundy Thursday, the day before Good Friday) Vicente Emparan, the Captain General of Venezuela, was dismissed, giving way to the formation of the Supreme Junta of Caracas, one of the first to form an autonomous government in Latin America.

The Junta governed until 2 March 1811, when the First National Congress was installed, which appointed a triumvirate composed of Cristóbal Mendoza, Juan Escalona and Baltasar Padrón. 

Francsico de Miranda returned from exile, and pushed further for independence. A few months later, on 5 July 1811, the Declaration of Independence was finally signed, creating the First Republic of Venezuela. The Spanish resisted this movement for independence and the revolution and republic was quashed in 1812. 

However, this first declaration of independence meant that full independence was only a matter of time indeed nine years later Venezuela became independent under the leadership of Simon Bolivar in 1821.

ALLOWING another road-user to take precedence over you is an unforgivable sign of weakness and should incur points, motorists have agreed.

Giving way, whether to a car, a cyclist or a pedestrian is an act of submission which should, if repeated, lead to the loss of a driving licence and in extreme cases a full ban because of the danger it poses.

Qashqai driver Karen, not her real name,  said: “It’s basic biology. Do rhinos give way to a herd of antelope? No. They charge ahead because they’re top of the food chain.

“By hesitating around being courteous and prioritising others, these idiots are causing crashes among real drivers like me: confident, brake seldom, basically apex predators with windscreen wipers.”

Shane, not his real name, a Ford Ranger Raptor driver from Stafford, agreed: “There are rules about who has right of way at junctions, and there are unwritten rules about self-respect and what it takes to get ahead.

“I’m not giving way just to be ‘nice’. It’s not the 14th century and I’m not a gallant knight. I’m a 43-year-old man on the way to the big Sainsbury’s to buy toilet roll.”

Reform MP Robert Jenrick said: “This nation has been weakened by the constant nanny-state need to make sure others are not ‘at risk’ of an ‘imminent collision’. When we should be ruling the road and dominating every junction, instead we ‘give way’.

“I don’t even stop for red lights. I go straight through them.”

Zimbabwe was first influenced by Europeans with the arrival of The British South Africa Company in the 1890s. The company had been founded by Cecil Rhodes in 1889 to colonise the region.

The area became known as Southern Rhodesia (in honour of Cecil Rhodes) in 1895 and was governed by the British South Africa Company until 1922 when the European settlers voted to become a British Colony.

In 1953, Britain created the Central African Federation, made up of Southern Rhodesia (Zimbabwe), Northern Rhodesia (Zambia) and Nyasaland (Malawi).

Following the breakup of the Federation in 1964, when Zambia and Malawi gained independence, Ian Smith became Prime Minister of the country (now called Rhodesia). Smith began a campaign for independence from Britain, with the government being run by the white minority. Independence was declared in 1965, but was not recognised internationally and led to sanctions against the country. This also led to an extensive campaign of guerilla warfare within Rhodesia and the rise of the Zanu and Zapu organisations.

Under this pressure, the white minority finally consented to multiracial elections in 1980. Robert Mugabe and his Zanu party won the independence elections, with Mugabe becoming Prime Minister and Zimbabwe’s independence being formally recognised on April 18th 1980.

A MAN on Tinder who appears to be without significant perversions, addictions, commitment issues or a receding hairline is a huge red flag, women have agreed.

When 28-year-old Hannah, not her real name or age, matched with 32-year-old Guido, not his real name or age, she was immediately unsettled by his individually-tailored responses and failure to send a dick pic.

She said: “It was like I was talking to a human being, not an AI. So I was creeped out immediately.

“Tall, but he didn’t say ‘6ft cos apparently that matters’. No pictures in Lederhosen or by someone else’s sports car. Zero requests for nudes or feet pics. In every shot he’s fully clothed. My freak siren was screaming.

“Even worse, he seemed genuinely interested in getting to know me and ‘wants a monogamous relationship’. What unspeakable horror is this concealing? He’ll be asking me to shove a hairbrush up his arse on date one.

“He uses full sentences and correct spelling. How could he possibly be single? This is London. Any halfway normal man is chased by mobs of women the moment he leaves the house.”

Guido said: “Hannah’s right to be happy. I am in fact a 62-year-old about to interest her in an exciting crypto opportunity.”

Rose Francine Rogombé was a Gabonese politician who became the Acting President of Gabon in June 2009 after President Omar Bongo Ondimba, who had led Gabon for 42 years, passed away after a heart attack. 

Rogombé was a lawyer by profession and a member of the Gabonese Democratic Party. She was elected as President of the Senate in February 2009 and as such constitutionally succeeded Bongo.

Rogombé’s interim presidency ended in October 2009 when Ali Bongo, the son of the late President, won the presidential elections. She then returned to her post as President of the Senate.

Rogombé died, aged 72, on April 10th 2015 at a hospital in Paris, where she had gone for medical treatment a few days prior.

New Year celebrations in Lao last for four days, though the traditions and customs are similar to Songkran, Thai New Year. This is the most important festival of the year in Laos.

Day one

This is the last day of the old year. Statues of Buddha images are cleaned with water and people throw water at each other, to ‘wash away’ any bad will that related to the past year.

Day two

The second day is known as the ‘day of no day”, a day that falls in neither the old year or the new year. People parade to the local monasteries to hear services from the monks. A popular highlight of the day is the parade featuring the winner of the Miss New Year beauty pageant.

Day three

This is the first day of the New Year. Begins with an early morning procession of monks and almsgiving (‘tak bat’).

Many people in Lao believe in kwan (spirits that live inside humans, animals, plants and inanimate objects). On the first day of the new year, the tradition is that the kwan might leave the body and be exposed to bad omens for the coming year. To make sure the kwan return to the body, a ceremony called Baci is performed. Chants are made by a village elder to make the kwan return to the body, then white thread is tied around wrists to keep the kwan inside and wish the kwan good luck for the year ahead.

Day four

The most sacred images of Buddha images are put on temporary display and people will dress in their finest traditional clothes and make offerings to ask for good luck in the coming year.

GAS is rising. Diesel’s already unaffordable. The time has come for me to install a 249ft wind turbine in the garden of my new build.

Solar panels? For wimps. I might have been forced against my will to go green, but I’m not being wet and environmental about it. Besides, the sun never shines in this bloody country, apart from now but you get my point.

No, it’s a wind turbine, and if it’s going to power my gaff it’s going to have to be a f**king big one. There’s not a room without at least a 55-inch telly and we don’t turn them off.

Plus there’s three Range Rover Evoques – mine, the wife’s and the one for our 14-year-old to grow into – which are all going to have to go electric. They’ll be a serious drain, especially as we plan to leave them idling 24/7 once it’s free.

The garden’s not large, as I say it’s a new build, but we should be able to squeeze it in between the summerhouse, the decking, the hot tub and the brick pizza oven. Most of it’s height after all.

And as luck would have it I know a few of the lads who’ve been installing them and they’ll do it for mates’ rates. Can’t get me one that’s fallen off the back of a lorry though. Broken Britain.

Should be up by summer and I’ve told the neighbours they can piss off. You don’t need planning permission if it’s green, do you? And the blades are only 144 feet so they’ll easily clear the roofs.

Bollocks to Iran, Qatar and the whole Middle East. They’ve had enough of my money. I’m going self-sufficient in a big way. And if local kids shin up it trying to scrump my amperage I’ll be out here with a bloody cricket bat.

Tarija in southern Bolivia is one of Bolivia’s oldest settlements. It was founded on July 4th 1574 by the conquistador Luis de Fuentes and was named in honour of Francisco de Tarija, who was the first Spaniard to visit the valley. At the forefront of nationalism in the region, Tarija declared independence from the Spanish rule in 1810.

While such declarations were ignored by the Spanish, this act of insurrection would lead to conflict, when on April 15th, 1817 at the Batalla de la Tablada, Tarija’s citizens won a major victory over the Spanish forces. The 1817 victory at Tarija is seen as an important milestone in the country’s history and is commemorated in the city with this public holiday.

After the War of Independence and despite interest from Argentina, Tarija opted to become part of Bolivia, which won its independence and formally established itself as a Republic in 1825. 

Interestingly for the first 100 years after the battle, the battle was commemorated on May 4th. It was only when a historian made the correction that it was moved to April 15th.

Cultural festivals take place in Tarija during the entire month of April in what has come to be called the April Days of Tarija (“Los Abriles de Tarija”). The festival revolves around the La Tablada anniversary celebrations and the central event is held on April 15th and 16th.

Cultural events include concerts, dance and theatre. Other events throughout the month also include fairs and handcrafts as well as the traditional Livestock Show and Rodeo Chapaco.