Occasional Digest

ACTING isn’t the preserve of the good-looking, the talented, or even their nepo babies. Ordinary people like you perform, and these six turns in particular deserve an Oscar:

Sober at work

The Academy would be blown away if they’d seen your convincing portrayal of a sober person at work the morning after a heavy night. Your liver was still metabolising 12 pints, but like an Equity card holder you didn’t keel over and throw up once. With these talents you should be performing Shakespeare. Hamlet’s soliloquies would be a piece of piss in comparison.

Delight at receiving gift

Traditionally a difficult role to nail. Overdoing your enthusiasm looks hammy, underplay it and people get suspicious. You threaded the needle perfectly when your wife got you that spa weekend gift voucher instead of the Nerf gun you’d dropped hints about. And that ad-lib about how you’d already been thinking of buying a relaxing hotel break for yourself? Inspired.

Interest in other people’s exercise regimes

Meryl Streep has never pretended to look fascinated as someone drones on about their 5K personal best. That’s because it’s beyond her abilities as an actor. You made it look effortless though when you nodded through your colleague’s tedious explanation while thinking about Terminator 2. Have you ever thought about getting an agent? Your talents are going to waste in the office.

Happy to stay friends

When you were in a relationship you gave a convincing portrayal of somebody who wasn’t boring. Once your ex saw through your charade and binned you off though, you gave an even better performance as ‘man happy to stay friends’. It’s hard for actors to cry on cue, but it’s even more difficult to hold back tears when you’re heartbroken like you did. Bravo.

Fascinated by friend’s young children

Parents are allowed to find their kids irritating or tedious, but other people are expected to be enthralled when they throw food on the floor. You went full method actor by feigning interest in a child’s crap finger painting when they weren’t even in the room. Either you’re this generation’s Marlon Brando or you have no artistic taste.

Pretending to be fine

The toughest of all acting roles. It would’ve been so easy to slip out of character when your friend asked how you are, but nobody wants to hear a Brechtian monologue of despair and alienation. Smiling and saying you’re fine is your career-defining part, but now you’ve been typecast into doing it every day until you die.

According to tradition, the Maldives was converted to Islam in the year 1153 AD by a Muslim from Maghrib (Morocco) by the name of Abul Barakat Yoosuf Al Barbary. Abdul Barakat was a Hafiz, someone who had memorised the entire Holy Quran and he set about converting the local king, Sri Tribuvana Aditiya, to Islam. 

After much effort and perseverance, he managed to convert the king, who took the name Muhammed Ibn Abdulla. Following the conversion of the king and his family, the king sent missionaries to convert the local people on the various islands in the Maldives.

After the conversion of the islands, Abdul Barakat stayed in the Maldives for the rest of his life. His tomb is called Medhu Ziyaaraiy and stands within the grounds of Hukuru Mosque in the capital Malé, the first Friday masque to be built on the islands.

Before the conversion to Islam, the islands had been following the Buddhist religion since the 4th century BC.

Nowadays Islam is the state religion of the Maldives and all citizens must follow the Islamic faith.

The Maldives is the smallest Muslim country in the world.

The Day Maldives Embraced Islam was first celebrated in 1374. The celebrations ended in 1387, and it wasn’t until 2001 that the Day Maldives Embraced Islam became a national holiday.

PARENTS demand presents but want nothing. Your attempt to treat them to something different will be resented and reviled:

His driving experience

He was an avid Top Gear watcher and you’ve put up with years of him claiming Lando Norris is shit, so he should love this. Until discovering he now hates modern cars for not being diesel, thinks anything two-seater is for ‘show-offs’ and when he hits the tarmac drives like he’s manoeuvring a Ford Fiesta around Aldi car park.

Their tasting menu

When food isn’t labelled with Prince’s or Hellmann’s it’s already wrong. And this becomes an attempt to poison them when espuma sits on a page that reads like a GP pamphlet. Every fresh course is not gastronomic genius but a fresh humiliation for you, apparently proving the foul local chippie has been unbeatable since 1976.

Her night at the opera

Mum’s bragged about wearing her gladrags and going for a classy night out to all the girls at aquaerobics, but didn’t fully understand it would mean three hours of fantastical nonsense being shouted at her in German singspeil. She sits in complete silence throughout and will never mention it again.

Their murder mystery evening

The perfect gift for a dad who still does Morse impressions and a mum who treats Richard Osman as a religion. But for all the murder night’s pomp, because it isn’t real they’ll say there was too much try-hard over-acting and they thought the other man did it. Other relatives are briefed at length to ‘get us anything except that bloody murder’.

His clay pigeon shooting day

Dad loves war in all its forms, which is why there’s a framed painting of a Spitfire in the lounge and he corrects strangers about the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact. Does that translate to him enjoying a day shooting a gun? It does not. Apparently, you learn later from your sister, it was ‘nothing but bang bang bang. Space Invaders for idiots’.

Their hotel getaway

Luxury, staff, duck-down pillows and a complimentary high tea. Except first they moan about getting there because it’s miles from a motorway, then they feel the staff are looking down on them, then there aren’t any sandwiches they like, then they ‘couldn’t sleep’ because ‘someone had been in our room’, then they steal the slippers.

The Jewish Holiday of Rosh Hashanah is generally known as the New Year’s Day of the Jewish calendar, but has a fourfold meaning – It is the Jewish New Year, the Day of Judgement, the Day of Remembrance, and the Day of Shofar Blowing.

• It is the Day of Judgement – Jews across the world examine their past deeds and asks for forgiveness for their sins.
• It is the Day of Shofar Blowing – The Shofar (an ancient musical horn usually made of a ram’s horn) is blown in temples to herald the beginning of the 10 day period known as the High Holy Days. The sound of the horn is meant to awaken the hearers from their spiritual slumber, to make them aware of their actions and their repercussions
• It is the Day of Remembrance – As Jews remember the history of their people and pray for Israel.
• And of course, it is New Year’s Day – Celebrated with its holiday greeting cards, special prayers, and festive and eating sweet foods such as apples dipped in honey (to ensure sweetness in the New Year).

According to Judaism, Rosh Hashanah is traditionally the anniversary of the creation of Adam and Eve.

The ten days starting with Rosh Hashanah and ending with Yom Kippur are commonly known as the Days of Repentance or the Days of Awe (Yamim Noraim). This is a time for introspection, a time to consider the sins of the previous year and repent (Teshuvah) before Yom Kippur. Jews are expected to reach out to friends, loved ones and community members and apologise to them for any wrongs they did to them during the year. And any apology must be sincere and meaningful.

ALRIGHT, you’re not that fascinating, but your company is less predictable than the 10,000th hour of Tank Wars. Get that phone down with these techniques: 

Make a polite enquiry

Interrupt his Block Blast! flow by passive-aggressively asking questions about his day, the weather, if what he’s doing is important or a waste of a life. Place the correct stress emphasis to help him understand that although these might seem like polite enquiries, they are in fact strict instructions to stop what the f**k he’s doing and pay you attention.

Give practical support

If your partner is on Disney Dreamlight Valley, move over and begin suggesting alternative strategies and admonishing silly mistakes. She’ll be delighted by your presence and grateful for your help. If she continues to make errors, ask her to give you the phone so you can show her how to do it properly.

Create a distraction

Interrupt Wordle with texts asking if it’s okay to substitute yoghurt for fabric softener, or calling a friend to say ‘Yeah the medical results are through. Yeah positive. Yeah I can’t really talk right now.’ In extreme cases, call the police and claim she’s holding you hostage. It’s emotionally true.

Hack his phone with AI

Apparently rogue AI are swarming all over the internet looking for hacking targets, so recruit one and set it on your husband’s phone. Suddenly his game of Alto’s Adventure is interrupted with achievements like ’10,000 hours you’ll never get back played!’ and ‘Congratulations! Your wife hates you!’

Offer sex

Come on to him, which happens so infrequently it’s up there with solar eclipses, and lure him away from the tense, equally matched game of Fibbage. If he’s ignoring actual real-life boobs for an online opponent and a screen, then cut off his cock. It will be a mercy.

Threaten to leave

When a high score is imminent on PUBG Mobile, it has to be stopped. He can’t be allowed that dopamine. Wheel in a suitcase and calmly tell him it’s the game or you. Expect him to choose the game, then change the wifi password from the car outside and wait for the anguished screams as a place on the leaderboard is denied him. Drive away without regret.

The Ethiopian calendar is a solar calendar based on the Egyptian and Julian calendars and was brought to Ethiopia by missionaries. The year consists of 12 months of 30 days and a thirteenth month of five or six timekeeping days.

Pagume, the 13th month in the Ethiopian calendar, comes from the Greek word epagomene, which means ‘days forgotten when a year is calculated’. This month has five days or six days in a leap year. According to the Ethiopian calendar, a year has 365 days, six hours, two minutes and 24 seconds. Once every four years, the six hours add up to 24 hours and become the sixth day in a leap year. Once in 600 years, the two minutes and 24 seconds add up to a full day and form a seventh day.

Based on the Julian calendar basis, the Ethiopian calendar is currently seven years and eight months behind the Gregorian calendar used in most of the world.

Enkutatash means the ‘gift of jewels’. It is said to refer to the Queen of Sheba returning from her visit to King Solomon in Jerusalem in 980 BC. On the Queen’s arrival back in Ethiopia, her chiefs welcomed her by filling her treasury with jewels (‘enku’). It may also refer to the countryside, as this time of year coincides with the end of the rainy season meaning the landscape is covered with Adey Abeba, whose bright yellow flowers appear almost in celebration of the impending harvest.

Celebrations for the Ethiopian New Year usually last for a week and are focused on family events. The holiday starts on New Year’s Eve, when each household light wooden torches called “chibo” in Amharic language, that symbolise the coming of the new season of sunshine after the end of the rainy season that has prevailed since June.

Fasting days had been a tradition in Switzerland since the late medieval period. Despite not being seen as part of the reformed Protestant faith, they continued to be observed in parts of Switzerland.

In October 1567, there was a Geneva-wide fast to show support to the Protestants who were being persecuted in Lyon, France. This fast is recognised as the first Jeûne genevois.

In 1869 as a result of the Federal Fast across Switzerland, Jeûne genevois was no longer an official holiday, though it continued to be observed by many Genevans. In 1966, it was reinstated as a holiday.

While the religious fasting element is no longer widely observed, banks, most businesses and shops will be closed on Jeûne genevois.

In the sixteenth century, the only food that was allowed to be eaten on Jeûne genevois was plum pie. It remains a treat to be enjoyed on this holiday to this day.

IS your holiday is a gruelling test of your love for your partner? Here are some behaviours you wish they’d saved for when you’re not in their company 24/7 after spending a fortune.

Sulking

Sulking is childish and annoying at the best of times, but worse if it’s over some trivial holiday thing like not wanting to buy a hideous souvenir donkey. If the relationship isn’t too serious you may even feel they’re a pain the arse you should split up with. Although you won’t be telling them immediately, because it’s nice to have someone to eat sardines with and shag on holiday.

Total lack of basic planning skills

It’s clearly hot, so did they bring a bottle of water? No. Let’s go back to that shop you pointed out earlier which sold it. They didn’t bring sunscreen either? Well, it’s the last thing you’d think of when going to the beach. Their sunglasses are back at the hotel, so can they borrow yours? Of course, my sweet… and so the irritation builds until you’re scared to go up that historic tower in case you push them off it.

Unadventurous eating

It’s rare that food on holiday is wildly exotic – you’re hardly likely to be served a whole fried monkey in the Algarve. The problem arises when your partner hates food not totally sanitised like in Sainsbury’s, and is horrified and disgusted by a fish having a head. Don’t worry, you’ll speak to the waiter and get them to turn it into oblongs in breadcrumbs.

Pointless money-saving

On holiday you’ve got to accept a fair bit of unplanned expenditure in the name of spontaneity and having a good time. However your partner may feel a holiday you’ve already spent thousands on is a good time to economise on minor costs. And who doesn’t love debating at length whether your should purchase each individual ice cream?

Worthy interests

It’s traditional on holiday to do worthy things you don’t do at home like visiting a cathedral. That’s probably why they’ve all got gargoyles – to alleviate the boredom. However there’s a limit, and you really don’t want your partner to suddenly discover a deep interest in wine production or local history. If they’re that interested in the Moorish conquest of the Iberian Peninsula they should have gone on holiday with David Starkey.

Personal habits

Snorting, making a clicking sound with your tongue, picking your nose and other such habits are tolerable occasionally. However on holiday you’re with your beloved constantly so those little irritations are magnified to the size of Jupiter. Has a boyfriend ever been beaten to death with an espadrille because he kept sniffing? It’s likely. The Spanish courts probably don’t even consider it an offence.

The Tajiks emerged in Central Asia as a distinct ethnic group in the 8th century. Over the centuries the region had long periods under foreign control from the Persians, the Mongols, the Uzbeks, and the Afghans. In 1860,  Russian conquests in Central Asia brought most of modern-day Tajikistan under Tsarist control.

The capital of Tajikistan is Dushanbe; the name means Monday in the Tajik languages. It is believed that it got this name as grew from a village that originally had a popular market on Mondays.

In 1924, Tajikistan was consolidated into a newly formed Tajik Autonomous Soviet Socialist Republic, which was administratively part of the Uzbek SSR until the Tajik ASSR gained full-fledged republic status in 1929 when it acquired the territory of Khujand from Uzbek SSR.

During the Soviet period, and despite the efforts of the USSR to establish a Soviet collective culture, the Tajiks maintained a fierce sense of nationalism and pride in their own history and culture.

Mikhail Gorbachev’s policy of ‘glasnost’ in the late 1980s led to the formation of unofficial political groups and a renewed interest in Tajik culture with the Tajik Supreme Soviet (legislature) declaring Tajik to be official state language in 1989.

As the Soviet Union started to unravel in 1990, a state of emergency was declared, with 5,000 Soviet troops deployed to suppress pro-democracy protests. On September 9th 1991, the Supreme Soviet declared Tajikistan’s independence from the Soviet Union.

The date of birth of Mary is not recorded in the bible. The earliest writings about her life come from the ‘Protoevangelium of James’ which was written in the 2nd century AD. In this, her father is said to be Joachim, a member of one of the Twelve Tribes of Israel and his wife is Anne.

Though it’s not sure which date was decided first, the nativity of Mary is not surprisingly exactly nine months after the feast of the Immaculate Conception of Mary (December 8th).

This feast day originated in Jerusalem in the 5th century as the feast of the Basilica of Saint Anne, which was said to have been built on the shepherd’s field that was said to have been the home of Mary’s parents.

By the seventh century, the feast was being celebrated by the Byzantines and it was brought to Rome during the 7th century by Eastern monks. It would be a few more centuries before it became a feast day across Western Europe.

Another important feast day for Mary is Assumption Day (August 15th) which marks the assumption of her body into Heaven. This is seen as the most important feast day for Mary and observed in many countries as a public holiday. Due to the closeness of the dates of Assumption and the Nativity of Mary, the latter is not as widely celebrated as it once was.

Christians normally celebrate the day on which saints died to mark the beginning of their eternal life. There are three exceptions – Jesus Christ, the Virgin Mary, and Saint John the Baptist. Their births are also feast days as all three were born without Original Sin.

On September 7th 1822, a declaration of independence from Portugal was made by Pedro di Alcântara, the 23-year-old son of the Portuguese King. He famously declared, “Independência ou Morte!” (Independence or Death) by the banks of the Ipiranga River in São Paulo.

Brazil had been a colony of Portugal since the 16th century. In 1807 France had invaded Portugal and the Portuguese royal family had escaped to Brazil. in 1815, Brazil was given equal kingdom status with Portugal. By 1820, the French had withdrawn from Portugal and the royal family.

Alcântara, better known as Dom Pedro I, became the first emperor of Brazil and ruled from 1823 until 1831.

A MAN in his mid-40s has been hospitalised after mistakenly listening to a song released in 2025.

Audit manager Shane, aged 46, not his real name or age, was rushed to A&E after hearing almost two minutes of an empowering and provocative Chappell Roan track whilst popping to the Co-op to pick up some milk.

First responder Emma Bradford said: “Poor guy. His aging immune system was completely unprepared for a suggestive country-pop song backed with electronic hooks.

“Based purely on age, new music that isn’t into the revived shoegaze genre or on heavy rotation on Radio 6 will automatically send his body into shock. Thankfully he wasn’t exposed to Harry Styles’s gender nonconformity, but next time he might not be so lucky.

“Doctors have got him hooked up to a steady drip of Crash Test Dummies and The Longpigs to bring his vitals under control. It’s too early to say if he’ll ever be able to listen to anything this side of Franz Ferdinand’s debut.

“The shop was irresponsible. It was obvious Martin wasn’t ready for provocative lesbian pop hits by his grey temples and the amount of wine he was buying on a Tuesday. They should be like pubs, which haven’t spooked their clientele with new music since 2016.”

Shane said: “It’s not that I’m afraid of new music. I just need to listen to Surfer Rosa 2,000 more times before I’m ready to move on.”

Bulgaria became part of the Ottoman Empire in 1396. In April 1876, there was a series of uprisings against Ottoman rule in Bulgaria.

The harsh suppression of the revolts by the Ottomans led to widespread international condemnation and in April 1877, Russia formally declared war on the Ottoman Empire. The war ended in March 1878 with the signing of the San Stefano peace treaty. The other leading nations at the time felt that the peace treaty created a Bulgaria, that was too large and would have too much influence on the region. As a result, under the Treaty of Berlin in 1878, Southern Bulgaria (Eastern Rumelia) was separated from the Principality of Bulgaria and returned to the Ottoman Empire, with partial autonomy.

Bulgarians felt that the decision of the Berlin Treaty was unfair. Over the following seven years, initially peaceful demonstrations gave way to rebellion and conflict. The Bulgarian Secret Central Revolutionary Committee was formed in February 1885, which organised events and revolts in towns in Eastern Rumelia, designed to assist in the unification process. On September 6th 1885, Bulgaria and Eastern Rumelia declared their unification in the city of Plovdiv.

DESPITE their popularity, tattoos are still not fully accepted by those who do not cover their skin with childish drawings. Could it be for these obvious reasons?

They’re inherently frightening

A skull, even with flowers dotted around it, is still a human head stripped of flesh and a universal symbol of death favoured by organisations such as the SS. You have chosen to put one on your body permanently. Expect to be shunned.

Your tattoo jars with your job

Tattoos are popular in careers such as the Army. However jobs like nurse, accountant or fancy cake baker do not need the same macho, comrades-in-arms ethos. Did you drag that slice of red velvet cake out of a burning Humvee under enemy fire?

They makes you unemployable in a meta way

A potential employer won’t see your neck tats and think: ‘By Jove, he looks like a ruffian and a ne’er-do-well!’ because they’ve seen plenty. But they will think: ‘Did this guy not consider his future applications for professional roles when he had those done? No second interview for you, Machine Gun Kelly.’

They’re frequently clichéd

Maori-style ‘tribal’ designs, skeletons in top hats and roaring lions: all groaningly unoriginal. How were you this oblivious to trends when you had them done? Did you not realise they should each have a best-before date underneath?

Face and hand tattoos are loved by nutters

Equally popular with aggressive beggars off their heads, prison inmates and young chaps with poor impulse control and electronic tags. Your tats may be quite arty and cost £850, but you can’t expect people to switch off reasonable associations.

They’re notoriously chavvy

It is no secret that the body art of the lower classes is lavishly mocked. Expect sneering reactions to your tramp stamp and the names of your children in cursive script, especially if those names are Darcy-Rae and Jaxxon.

Tattooists can’t draw

A lot of stencils are involved, but questionable images get inked nonetheless. When others look askance at your dragon with a dislocated pelvis or are genuinely struggling to tell if that is a Minion or Bart Simpson, the problem lies with the artist.

Mother Teresa was born on August 26th 1910, in Skopje (now the capital of North Macedonia) in the Ottoman Empire. Born to a family of Albanian ancestry, she was named Anjezë (Agnes) Gonxhe Bojaxhiu. 

From an early Agnes had been inspired by tales of missionaries and when she was 18, she moved to Ireland to join a nunnery to learn English. 

Having arrived India in 1929, she became a nun in 1931, adopting the name Teresa, after Thérèse de Lisieux, the patron saint of missionaries. 

In 1950, Mother Teresa founded the Missionaries of Charity, a Roman Catholic religious congregation. 

Today, expanding beyond the original location of Calcutta, the 4000 sisters of the congregation run orphanages, AIDS hospices, soup kitchens and mobile clinics in 123 countries; caring for refugees, the blind, disabled, the poor and homeless, and victims of floods, epidemics, and famine. 

Members of the congregation must adhere to the vows of chastity, poverty and obedience as well as a fourth vow, to give ‘wholehearted free service to the poorest of the poor’. 

Mother Teresa gained worldwide recognition for her charitable works and was the recipient of numerous honours including the 1979 Nobel Peace Prize. She became famous as ‘Teresa of Calcutta’.

FOUND a lovely new partner? Great, but be aware she’s probably already drawing up a list of which of your friends you won’t be seeing again.

Your ex

She’s convinced you’re still carrying a torch for her, and must therefore never be in contact. Insisting the split was amicable and you’re merely friends now is just conclusive proof you’re desperate to rekindle your lost passion. Your new girlfriend is just being paranoid, apart from those 2am drunk-dialling calls begging your ex to have you back.

The womaniser

You shouldn’t be hanging around with good-looking gigolos now you’re with her, and any womanisers must be replaced with good, clean, homely lads. She’ll tell you it’s because he’s a sexist pig who treats women like objects. But won’t mention she shagged him on a filthy one-night stand just after you met, and would prefer you didn’t find out. To be honest, you’d prefer to overlook his undoubtedly better sex skills too.

The pisshead

Why would you want to go on all-day benders with Tom now you’re with her and could be spending your Saturdays shopping for clothes or going on country walks? If you want to keep having sex, drop him like hot bricks. All your mates will laugh and call you under the thumb, which you will vehemently deny. It’s more like being tagged with strict bail conditions.

The ugly one

There’s no point in you having pig-ugly friends she can’t matchmake her single pals with, so goodbye Carl. You may have been best friends since primary school but a geek with massive ears and ginger hair is now obsolete. The fact that none of her friends are in danger of landing modelling contracts and could do with a few Carls as back-ups will go completely over her head.

The Friday night football crew

Friday evenings are for taking her to expensive restaurants now, not playing five-a-side with your mates before a few beers. Take it on the chin and accept that’s the price of an occasional blowjob these days. In fairness, you were shit at it anyway, and the others only let you join in because you booked the sports hall every week.

This traditional Hindu festival begins on the day of Krishna Janmastami (birth of Lord Krishna), and lasts for three days. Though the festival is celebrated mainly in the western parts of Nepal, the first day is celebrated as a public holiday across the country.

The festival is observed by worshipping Lord Shiva and especially the goddess Guari (Parvati), the second wife of Shiva.

During Gaura, married women make idols of Shiva and Guari from grass. The women put on new clothes and sing traditional songs. The women also fast and many rituals take place at the numerous temples dedicated to Gauri, who is worshipped with Biruda – a mixture of five kinds of grains. The fasting women then return home and bless their husbands with Biruda, to give them long life and health.

The deuda dance is a major part of the festivities in which participants hold hands and form a circle as they step to traditional music.

According to legend, the festival is also celebrated in memory of Shiva’s first consort, Sati Devi’s bodily sacrifice to the burning altar and her reincarnation as Gauri.

The Republic of San Marino is a landlocked nation surrounded by Italy. It is the smallest republic in the world and the oldest existing state in Europe.

In the centuries after the death of Jesus, Christianity had become a popular sect within the Roman Empire. For many years it was treated no worse or better than any other minority religion. During the reign of Emperor Diocletian (284 – 306 AD), the imperial view of Christianity became less benign and Christians were increasingly being persecuted and killed for their faith.

In this atmosphere, Marinus, a stonemason, fled from Dalmatia (in modern-day Croatia) to escape from religious persecution for his Christian beliefs. He arrived at Monte Titano, where he founded and built a chapel and a monastery.

Over the years, the monastery and the area around it grew until a sizable population had been established, safe high in the mountains from the persecution of Diocletian. When the mountain people were discovered, the landowner Felicissima bequeathed it to the community in perpetuity.

The monastery, which although no longer standing, existed until the late sixth century. The first mention of a church named after Saint Marinus dates to the year 530. Today the old church has been replaced on the site by the Basilica of San Marino, which was built in the 19th century.

San Marino is the only country in Europe with more vehicles than people.

A MANAGER has reserved 30 minutes of a meeting to give his team a thorough briefing on his recent fortnight of seven-star luxury in the Dutch Antilles.

Martin, not his real name, conscious that his staff could never afford such a break, set aside roughly 50 per cent of the vital catch-up meeting with an attend-in-person brief to detail exactly what such a holiday provides and what it costs.

He said: “Best report it while it’s fresh in the mind, I thought. I wouldn’t want to forget details like the 800-thread count linen sheets, changed daily.

“It’s my duty as a thoughtful and inspirational leader to inform them of the icing-sugar beaches, the glorious azure seas, the fresh-caught lobster, the complimentary mojitos. It lets them unwind vicariously.

“Aspiration is key to success, and by providing images of the paradise location, our enormous home with a shower open to the very sky, my wife’s Pilates classes, I’m encouraging them to work harder and achieve more.

“How could it not, when all they’ve done is scrape together a few Euros for a package to one of those countries where you put your shitty toilet paper in the bin. Or staycations. One poor sod’s even going to Wales.

“I tell everyone that if they get their heads down and work hard, they’ll be able to afford a holiday like this. They won’t. We’re making redundancies next month.”

In 1887 Vietnam became part of French Indochina. During World War II, Vietnam was occupied by the Japanese.

Following the end of the war, on September 2nd 1945, following the ‘August Revolution’, Ho Chi Minh proclaimed the establishment of the Democratic Republic of Vietnam (North Vietnam).

Despite the differences that grew between Vietnam and the USA, the Vietnamese declaration of Independence itself drew heavily from the American version

In 1976, the two halves of Vietnam were finally united into one country, the Socialist Republic of Vietnam, but September 2nd remains as the key date in Vietnam’s road to independence.

Ceuta is an enclave located on the north coast of Africa surrounded by the Kingdom of Morocco. 

Since antiquity, this city has been an important strategic location on the Strait of Gibraltar, giving whoever ruled the city control on who was sailing between the Mediterranean and the Atlantic. This has meant a colourful past, with the city having passed through the hands of Carthaginians,  Romans, Vandals and even the Byzantine Empire. It fell under Muslim control in the 8th century.

In late August 1415, King John I of Portugal led an assault that would come to be known as the Conquest of Ceuta. The Portuguese captured the city with surprising ease. Maybe this is why nobody thought about what flag to use after the city was taken. Luckily someone had packed the flag of Lisbon, which they all decided would be a great design for Ceuta. The coat of arms of Portugal was added to the middle and that flag is still used for Ceuta today.

Over the following centuries, Spain and Portugal Ceuta squabbled like Iberian brothers with Ceuta passing between them. The city was finally ceded to King Carlos II of Spain on January 1st 1668 by the Treaty of Lisbon.

Although Ceuta was conquered by Portugal on August 22nd 1415, it is celebrated on September 2nd as Spain and Portugal adopted the Gregorian calendar in 1582, moving dates forward by ten days.

The Day of the Autonomous City of Ceuta has been celebrated since 1998.

This landlocked region in central Asia lies at the crossroads of the ancient Silk Road trade route between Europe and China. As such it has often fallen under the control of neighbouring empires. The region was settled by Kyrgyz tribes, a Muslim Turkic people, from southern Siberia in the 17th century.

Kyrgyz means ‘forty’ in Turkic, as this was the number of tribes who came together to settle in the area. This number is represented today in the flag of Kyrgyzstan in the 40 rays from the sun in the centre of the flag.

After the middle of the nineteenth century, the eastern part of modern-day Kyrgyzstan was ceded to the Russian Empire by the Chinese under the Treaty of Tarbagatai. The territory was formally incorporated into the Russian Empire in 1876.

After the Russian revolution, the country became part of the Soviet Union, going through different national statuses until 5 December 1936, when the Kirghiz Soviet Socialist Republic became a full republic of the Soviet Union.

Following the collapse of the Soviet Union; on 31 August, 1991, an extraordinary session of the Supreme Soviet of the Republic of Kyrgyzstan adopted a resolution on the “Declaration on State Independence of the Republic of Kyrgyzstan”. This meant the Kyrgyz Republic was declared a sovereign state, with the country gaining independent statehood for the first time in history.