Occasional Digest

This landlocked region in central Asia lies at the crossroads of the ancient Silk Road trade route between Europe and China. As such it has often fallen under the control of neighbouring empires. The region was settled by Kyrgyz tribes, a Muslim Turkic people, from southern Siberia in the 17th century.

Kyrgyz means ‘forty’ in Turkic, as this was the number of tribes who came together to settle in the area. This number is represented today in the flag of Kyrgyzstan in the 40 rays from the sun in the centre of the flag.

After the middle of the nineteenth century, the eastern part of modern-day Kyrgyzstan was ceded to the Russian Empire by the Chinese under the Treaty of Tarbagatai. The territory was formally incorporated into the Russian Empire in 1876.

After the Russian revolution, the country became part of the Soviet Union, going through different national statuses until 5 December 1936, when the Kirghiz Soviet Socialist Republic became a full republic of the Soviet Union.

Following the collapse of the Soviet Union; on 31 August, 1991, an extraordinary session of the Supreme Soviet of the Republic of Kyrgyzstan adopted a resolution on the “Declaration on State Independence of the Republic of Kyrgyzstan”. This meant the Kyrgyz Republic was declared a sovereign state, with the country gaining independent statehood for the first time in history.

A WOMAN discouraging her daughter from having children appears to be speaking from bitter personal experience.

Hannah, not her real name, aged 31, asked mother Diane, not her real name, when she felt ready to be a parent and the response was ‘a recruitment campaign for infertility’.

She said: “Mum told me to take my time and think about it, but her face told a less calm story until it blurted out ‘it’s like volunteering to spend 18 years as a hostage.’

“With only a brief tour through the spectacular damage to her pelvic floor, she then toured through cracked nipples, sleep deprivation, sex deprivation, watching The Amazing World of Gumball hungover, and ‘piss. So much piss. Years of piss.’

“I was asked to imagine negotiating with someone cretinous enough to refuse good food in favour of Play-Doh. An incident I actually remember.

‘The precious gift of my life was summed up as ‘joy, fulfilment and a profound understanding of why some animals eat their young’. Apparently once she left me and my brother at Keele Services, but made herself turn back.”

Diane said: “This is a photo of me holding me when you were born. You can’t change your mind. No matter how much you beg they won’t let you.”

Saint Rose of Lima was born on April 20th 1586 in Lima, Peru. Her father was Spanish, her mother was of indian descent and Rose was one of 13 children. Her real name was Isabel, but she was such a beautiful baby with rosy cheeks, that she soon came to be called ‘Rose’.

From an early age, she showed great devotion to god. Her parents had hoped that her good looks would enable her to marry well and help the family escape poverty but Rose decided to follow a religious life dedicating herself to god. Rose was too poor to join a monastery, so she lived in a small cottage making money to support her family and her charity work by selling needlework and flowers. She looked after the sick and needy people in Lima, bringing them to her cottage to feed and care for them.

Her efforts were soon noticed by the Dominican Order who allowed her to join without any payment.

While continuing her service to the people of Lima, Rose practiced some extreme forms of devotion; eating only bread and water and wearing a spiked crown around her waist under her clothes. Rose died at the age of 31. When she died, her funeral had to be be delayed by two days due to the amount of people who wanted to pay their respects.

Rose was beatified in 1667, making her the first person born in the Americas to become a saint.

Her feast day was added to the Roman Catholic calendar in 1729 as August 30th. The date of her death, August 24th was already snaffled by Saint Bartholomew the Apostle and 30 August was the closest available date. In 1969, revisions to the calendar meant August 23rd could be allocated as her feast day; however Peru and some other Latin American countries use the old date.

A SOCIAL butterfly of a 41-year-old claims to know three whole people he can readily classify as friends.

Thanks to his gregarious lifestyle of working in an office and monthly pub visits, Joe, not his real name, has amassed a large, close-knit social circle consisting of three people he broadly tolerates.

He said: “Apparently there’s a male loneliness epidemic? I wouldn’t know. My magnetic personality has drawn three mates towards me over four decades, and I see them up to four times a year.

“I met Steve when we shared the same table at lunch, Jimmy is an old school friend, and the third is my wife’s best mate’s husband. We’re pretty close. I think he’s called Matt.

“We meet up once every few months to talk about films we didn’t enjoy and complain about the price of petrol. Separately, of course. All four at once would be overwhelming. There wouldn’t be time for any silences.

“Once I did try befriending a fourth bloke but realised it was too much. I barely had a month clear to myself. Also when he found out I already had three friends he called me a whore.

He added: “To be honest I’m thinking of scaling down to two. Better a couple of close pals than a load of superficial ones, and I think Steve might be a toxic fake bitch.”

In 1938, the Munich agreement established the independent Slovak state, led by Jozef Tiso. In June 1944 Tiso declared martial law allowing the German army to occupy the country on August 29th.

Up to that point, there had been limited and sporadic guerrilla resistance operations across Slovakia. To counteract the planned occupation, a formal military plan was put in action by the exiled Czechoslovak government, Slovak partisans and deserters from the Slovak army. Headquartered in central Slovakia, the forces of the uprising consisted of several armoured units as well as part of the Slovak Air Force. 

Despite some limited support from the allies, the uprising was crushed by the German forces before the end of October 1944. After the defeat, the remaining forces of the uprising continued with small guerrilla actions until the end of the war.

AN office worker is living in fear of a colleague who believes he is a real friend and not merely a work friend.

Martin, not his real name, has come to dread Steve, not his real name, escalating acts of friendliness, which threaten to cross the line from cynical work banter into worthwhile friendship.

Martin said: “It’s not that I don’t like Steve, he’s alright. But outside of work we have nothing in common.

“Slagging off colleagues is fine, but now he’s suggested going for a drink, just me and him. Like a date. I managed not to commit, but I’m terrified that when we get to the pub the conversation will just freeze and we’ll both look back on it with embarrassment for the rest of our lives.

“Or what if Steve turns out to be a weirdo with no friends and a huge collection of ultra-violent comic books and hentai porn? He’ll latch onto me and I won’t be able to get rid of him in case he turns into a stalker.

“Then at work everyone will know me as ‘that weirdo Steve’s mate’ and there’ll be no chance of shagging Francesca or Rachel. Or he might ask me to go camping with him. If he’s into camping. Admittedly I’m making a few assumptions here.”

In the event Martin and Steve eventually went to the pub near their office and had a mildly amusing chat about work and mainstream films they had seen, before Malley left to go over to his girlfriend’s.

Bishop said: “I dodged a bullet there.”

The legend is that King Mahabali, also known as Bali was an Asura ruler during Hindu antiquity who was so powerful and adored by his subjects, that the followers of Hindu god Vishnu feared that Bali was getting more popular than their deity.

Vishnu disguised himself as a dwarf called Vamana. Vamana tricked Bali by asking for a piece of land he could cover in only three strides. When Bali agreed to this modest request by a dwarf, Vamana turned into a giant and his first step covered the earth and the second took him to heaven. With nowhere else to go, Bali offered his head as the third step. Vamana stepped on Bali pushing him down into to the underworld. Bali asked if he could be allowed to return once a year on Thiruvonam (the second day of Onam) to visit his people to make sure they were well, and Vamana agreed.

To welcome Bali home for his annual visit, the people of Kerala clean their homes and make elaborate floral displays called Pookkalam on the ground as a carpet to welcome Bali. They perform Kathakali, one of the major forms of classical Indian dance.

Other events include boxing competitions, featuring Thallu, a martial art native to Kerala and snake-boat races which are held at Champakulam, Aranmula, and Kottayam. The boats have a high narrow stern that resembles the neck of a snake and some are up to 130 feet long and need over 100 rowers.

This small land-locked East European nation has always been influenced by the presence of its larger neighbours whose wars and imperial ambitions often had dramatic impacts on the fate of the country.

Moldavia became a principality in 1359 when Bogdan I crossed the Carpathians and took control from the Hungarians. In the middle of the sixteenth century, it came under the influence of the Ottoman Empire becoming a vassal state, though Moldova retained control of its own affairs.

Following the end of the Russo-Turkish War, the 1812 Treaty of Bucharest ceded the eastern half of Moldavia to the Russian Empire, which was named the region Bessarabia. 

In 1918, after the end of the First World War and the collapse of the Russian Empire, Bessarabia united with Romania.

The Mileștii Mici wine cellar in Moldova is the world’s largest with nearly two million bottles of wine stored in its vaults.

This unity lasted until 1940 when Romania was compelled to cede the country to the Soviet Union as a consequence of the Molotov–Ribbentrop Pact when Romania was carved up between Hitler’s Germany and Stalin’s USSR.

Like other Soviet regions, the movement for independence gathered pace in the late 1980s with the change in the political situation created by glasnost and perestroika. The first democratic elections were held in early 1990.

A MAN did not notice his wife was keeping a conversation going even though he was not physically present.

Anthony, not his real name, incurred the wrath of his wife Jess, not her real name, by assuming their conversation was over because he had walked into the kitchen ten minutes ago to make a cup of tea.

He said: “I thought my absence and lack of replies were clear enough signs. But now we’re having an even longer conversation about how conversations work.

“Apparently by traipsing into another room during a lull I was ignoring her. How was I supposed to know we were still chatting? She’d purposefully asked me to be quiet while she caught up with Love Island.

“We weren’t even having a proper conversation anyway. She was wondering out loud about changing her phone contract, and I was showing her memes which she didn’t find funny. I would’ve thought she’d want a break from that.

“Great, now she’s giving me the silent treatment. I can’t even point out how hypocritical that is or I’ll make things ten times worse.”

Jess said: “How could he not hear me? I pick him up loud and clear from upstairs when he calls me a ‘miserable cow’, even if the washing machine’s on.”

Repentance Day is intended to be a day of Christian prayer when people come together in church to pray and ask for forgiveness.

The purpose of the day is to encourage citizens to remember Papua New Guinea’s Christian heritage and focus on the repentance of sins for the more than 14 million people living on hundreds of islands in the Pacific Ocean

The holiday was first established by Prime Minister Peter O’Neill shortly after he became Prime Minister in 2011.

It was made a public holiday at the request of a group of churches, who had lobbied O’Neill’s predecessor, Sam Abal.

The date has no obvious religious or historical significance, though at the time, Pastor Jack Edward from the Shema Evangelism Ministry, the Repentance Day co-ordinator, said that public holiday is observed on what was an annual, informal day of prayer.

Papua New Guinea undoubtedly considers itself a religious country with 95% of the population saying they were Christian in the 2011 census, with 70% of those following Protestant denominations.

In March 2025, Papua New Guinea passed a constitutional amendment declaring itself a Christian nation. As it seeks to live up to the way of Christ, it also has high rates of corruption, bribery, crime, and gender-based violence. Additionally, there are frequent cases of tribal and village-based violence, which affects locals, Christians, and missionaries, particularly in rural and highland areas.

Also known to Muslims in Malaysia as Maulud Nabi. This is purely a religious festival and is marked as a public holiday.

Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) was born in Mecca on 12 Rabiulawal in the year 570 CE. The prophet’s full name is Abū al-Qāsim Muḥammad ibn ʿAbd Allāh ibn ʿAbd al-Muṭṭalib ibn Hāshim.

Muhammad is believed to have been a descendant of Ishmael. According to Judaism, Christianity and Islam, Isaac and Ishmael were two sons of Abraham. Whereas Jews are believed to have descended from Isaac, Arabs are believed to have descended from Ishmael.

By his 6th birthday, Muhammad was an orphan and was raised by uncle Abu Talib and his grandfather Abdul-Muttalib. He learned about business from his uncle and earned a reputation as a trustworthy trader.

It was not until Muhammad was 40 years old that he was commanded by the angel Gabriel, who carried God’s message, to declare God’s oneness and to shun the idolatry of his tribesmen.

Over the following 20 years, his preaching of the Qur’an which was revealed to him would establish one of the world’s great religions, Islam.

The start of the 1990s saw the collapse of the Soviet Union. On July 16th 1990, the Ukrainian government had declared state sovereignty. July 16th was celebrated as Independence Day one year later.

In August 1991, there was a failed coup to restore the communist rule in the Soviet Union. As a result of the attempted coup and increasing fears about a return to Soviet rule, the people’s deputies brought the Ukrainian flag into the session hall of the Verkhovna Rada. 

On August 24th, the Act of Independence of Ukraine was adopted by the Ukrainian parliament, and a yellow and blue flag appeared on the building of the Verkhovna Rada.

The blue-yellow colour of the Ukrainian flag has a deep historical tradition. During the 20th century, it became the national flag of the Ukrainian People’s Republic between 1917 and 1920. It was banned under the Soviet regime it was banned becoming a symbol of the independence movement.

A condition of the declaration was that a national referendum should take place on December 1st 1991. Despite outside concerns that Ukraine could split into east and west, the turnout was over 80% and the result of the referendum was that over 92% voted in favour of their independence.

In June 1992, Parliament voted for an amendment to the legislative framework, according to which July 16th was officially replaced by August 24th as Ukraine’s Independence Day.

For some, the referendum of December 1st is seen as a more important date than the declaration of independence as it showed Ukraine’s unity in wanting independence.

STRUGGLING to start a conversation with the hot girl who has blessed a gig with her presence? These are the sound reasons she is ignoring you.

She doesn’t have to talk to you

You may be the main character in your own life, but to everyone else you’re practically part of the scenery. Nobody is under any obligation to talk to you, outside of curt pleasantries if they happen to be serving you in a shop. A hot girl at a gig is well within her rights to tell you to f**k off if you so much as breathe near her.

80 per cent of men are creeps

And that’s a conservative estimate. For all she knows you’re a disgusting weirdo who’d take photos of her feet to sell on the internet at the first opportunity. Trying to convince her otherwise by staring in her direction and shooting a nervous smile will not help your case. Plus her boyfriend might be present and he’d beat you up.

You’re old

You’ve come to see a band that’s got heavy airplay on Radio 6 because you’re middle-aged. She’s in the crowd because they remind her of her dad and the tickets were on offer. You are not the same. Even if she asked you where the toilets were, you wouldn’t be able to hear her dulcet tones over your tinnitus.

Social rules are in play

This is a gig, not a speed dating night. Your role as an audience member is to face the front and clap after every song, not try to strike up a conversation over deafening music. Besides, if a woman is at a gig alone it signals she has a level of confidence which puts her well out of your league.

She’s trying to listen to the band

Hearing the band play their songs is kind of the whole point of going to a gig. By talking over them you’re not only ruining an experience that required a lot of planning, you’re also creating a core memory in another person which portrays you as an annoying prick. Nobody is getting rinsed by Ticketmaster for that experience.

You don’t have anything interesting to say

If you were incredibly handsome and she was desperate, there’s a slim chance she might talk to you if you charm her with some witty repartee. Sadly all you can muster are some tedious stats about the band’s highest ever chart position and anecdotes she already knows about the lead singer. If you have to say anything, stick with a safe ‘sorry for bothering you’.

History can be a little bit tricky. What we mean by that is that sometimes it’s difficult to find out what happened only a few years ago, but it can be easy to determine what happened hundreds of years ago. Take this holiday, for instance. We don’t know who created this holiday or when they created it, but we do know the history of sponge cake quite well. So, what we’re going to do for this holiday is talk about sponge cake’s storied history.

During the 15th century, Medieval bakers came up with food items known as biscuits. What do these have to do with sponge cake? Well, they were more like sponge cake in texture than they were in texture to modern biscuits. So many food historians consider them to be the forefathers of sponge cake. Between the 1420s and 1615, these “biscuits” would become refined until the first true sponge cake recipe was released in England in 1615. Even though the first recipe for a sponge cake was printed in England, many food historians believe that these cakes actually came from Spain during the Renaissance.

RESEARCH into regular snorers has found they do it because they are horrible people.

A two-year study was carried out to discover how someone can breathe normally throughout the day but then start making noises like a wild pig being violated by a hillbilly the moment their head hits the pillow.

Sleep specialist Dr Donna Sheridan said: “Ultimately there was only one conclusion – they are sick, vile bastards.

“Our research found that snorers are fundamentally bad people who lack the integrity to express their malevolence during their normal waking lives, which makes them even worse.

“What better way to ruin others’ lives than by spending all night snorking like a f**king walrus then coming down to breakfast looking rested and full of energy and asking ‘Sorry, was I snoring last night?’”

Study subject Nikki Hollis said: “Frankly I get off on driving my boyfriend Alan to the brink of insanity. The fact that he’s a kind and decent person who always says it’s not my fault just increases my sadistic pleasure.

“Obviously I could choose not to snore – all snorers can, just by thinking ‘don’t snore’ before we go to sleep. It’s that easy.

“But unfortunately we live to torment people. There is absolutely no reason for it. We’re like the psychopathic thrill killers in The Strangers, but more annoying.”

Hassan Agari was born in Medina on 8th of Rabi-ul-Akhar 232 AH His father was Ali Naqi, the 10th Shia Imam. Imam Ali Naqi lived under house arrest in a Samarra, a garrison town about 60 miles north of Baghdad. Hassan’s title became known as Asgari, meaning “the one who lived all his life in a garrison town.”

Even from an early age, Asgari was known for his divine knowledge and he became the 11th Shia Imam on the death of his father in 254 AH at the age of 22.

Becoming the 11th Imam was a big deal. In both the Sunni and Shia branches of Islam, it is believed that the 12th Imam would be the final Imam who would be the ‘Mahdi’ or ‘Guide’ for humanity until the Day of Judgement.

According to Shia tradition, Askari died aged 28 on 8th Rabi’ al-Awwal 260 AH (January 4th 874 AD) after being poisoned on the orders of the Abbasid caliph Al-Mu’tamid and was buried in Samarra, a town some 60 miles north of Baghdad.

In Shia tradition, Asgari did give birth to a son, Muhammad. who would be destined to be the final Imam, but Asgari kept Muhammad’s existence a secret in fear of Al-Mu’tamid finding out and wanting to kill his son.

Aged five, Muhammad al-Mahdi, disappeared on the same day that his father died.

Shias believe that Imam Mahdi will reappear alongside Jesus to be the saviours of the planet in the final judgement days. Sunni Muslims didn’t follow the Shia Imam lineage and most believe that the Mahdi has been born yet.

THERE are plans to add ‘AI’ to the secondary school curriculum, but you’re probably wondering what exactly pupils will learn. Most likely these things:

How to write a prompt

Clumsily hammering a basic command into ChatGPT definitely isn’t piss-easy and requires its own academic subject. Students will learn important prompts such as ‘Do my work for me because I’m too f**king lazy’, and by the end of the course they’ll be skilled enough to get AI to write their prompts for them.

How to create terrible art

Unlike actual art requiring skill, being an AI artist is currently a viable career path. There’s no shortage of small businesses that need terrible flyers to promote their services, and with minimal guidance students will be able to churn out slop in seconds. This will free them up to do more exciting things like smoking and getting drunk, just like real artists.

How to go along with the latest tech fad

The AI bubble could burst at any second, consigning the likes of Gemini to a handy but unexciting role like tumble dryers. A new tech fad is always just around the corner though, and blindly fawning over AI will give teens the transferable skills they need to worship it when it arrives. Make sure to pass GCSE Working On Elon’s Mars Colony, kids. It’s definitely happening next year.

How to outsource the most basic thinking

Until now, teens have been forced to grapple with obvious thoughts like ‘Do I need to take an umbrella if it’s raining?’ and ‘If I’m hungry does that mean I need to eat?’ With proper AI training, these dilemmas will be handled by a sycophantic computer instead. This surely won’t herald the end of intelligent life as we know it.

How to ignore the environmental impact

Young people’s brains are more elastic and open to learning. This means it will be easier for them to tune out the environmentally devastating amounts of water and energy needed to power data centres. Upon graduation they’ll be trained to recite bulletproof counterarguments such as ‘AI’s already here so get used to it’. Not from memory, obviously, they’ll need to ask ChatGPT.

The full name of this holiday is the “Day of Memory of the Victims of the 1968 Invasion and subsequent occupation of Czechoslovakia by Warsaw Pact troops.”

According to the drafters of the legislation, the night of August 20th -21st 1968, was one of the most tragic dates of modern Czechoslovak history.

In 1968, Alexander Dubček was appointed to the key post of First Secretary of the Czechoslovak Communist Party. Dubček made changes that liberalised the nation, a period known as the Prague Spring. In response, after failing to persuade the Czechoslovak leaders to change course, five other members of the Warsaw Pact invaded, with Soviet tanks rolling into Czechoslovakia on the night of August 20th 1968.

The invasion put an end to the democratisation and the humanist efforts at reform of the Communist system in Czechoslovakia and it also caused the death of many innocent civilians, they added.

This holiday is to commemorate the memory of the victims of the invasion.

The Czech Senate approved the state holiday in December 2019.

Isese (the Yorùbá word for Tradition) Day celebrates the Yorùbá traditions and religion in a display of culture and spirituality with parties, festivals, parades, lectures and display of other traditional apparels to attract tourists from other parts of the world.

As well as in South-West Nigeria, Isese day is celebrated by Yorùbá diaspora communities around the world.

Yoruba people are a large ethno-linguistic group or ethnic nation in Africa, and the majority of them speak the Yoruba language. The Yoruba constitute approximately 35% of Nigeria’s total population, and around 40 million individuals throughout the region of West Africa.

The Yorubas are the main ethnic group in the states of Ekiti, Lagos, Ogun, Ondo, Osun, and Oyo, which are subdivisions of Nigeria; they also constitute a sizable proportion of Kwara and Kogi States as well as Edo State.

While the majority of the Yoruba live in western Nigeria, there are also substantial indigenous Yoruba communities in Benin, Ghana, Togo and the Caribbean.

The appropriate greeting for Isese Day is “Isese l’agba” and the response is “Isese l’agba gbogbo wa”.

A GRANDMOTHER is operating her TV remote as if she intends to crush it into oblivion.

Mary, not her real name, changes channels and adjusts the volume by applying pressure to the buttons more usually associated with super-strong Marvel character the Hulk in ‘rage mode’.

She explained: “It’s like a manual typewriter, isn’t it? If you don’t hit the keys hard enough it won’t do anything.

“I also like to go right up to the set when I press the button to increase the chances of it working. You can’t expect a remote control to work from halfway across a normal-sized room. It’s not magic.

“I know what I’m talking about because I worked all my life as a medical secretary. It’s a shame they don’t make these gadgets like the old typewriters. Cheap foreign rubbish, they break every five minutes.”

Her daughter Hannah, not her real name, said: “Mum’s a nightmare with her remotes. She cracks it through sheer force so I get her a new one, and a week later, here we go again.

“It’s certainly fair to say she’s applying Hulk-like strength that could easily snap the neck of Thanos, but I won’t be mentioning it as her only cultural reference points are Antiques Road Trip, The Repair Shop and Corrie.  

“I hide my iPhone when I visit because f**k knows what she’d do to that. Touchscreen make Hulk angry.”

Afghanistan is an Islamic state in Central Asia.  With its strategic position between India, Persia and the Silk Road, Afghanistan has been a region coveted by foreign empires since the dawn of civilisation. 

The country we recognise today as Afghanistan emerged in 1747, when Ahmad Shah Durrani unified the Pashtun tribes.

In the context of this holiday, our story begins with the arrival of the British in the early nineteenth century.

Threatened by the growth of the Russian Empire, Britain moved into Afghanistan to secure it as a buffer between Russia and the so-called ‘Jewel in the Crown’ of the British Empire, India. This led to the first Anglo-Afghan War when British forces invaded, installed King Shah Shujah, who was assassinated in 1842 and the war ended abruptly with the massacre of the entire British invading force by Afghan forces in the city of Jalalabad.

In 1878, the British returned and the Second Anglo-Afghan War resulted in victory for Britain over the Afghan army in Kandahar and a treaty that gave Britain control of Afghan foreign affairs in exchange for protection and a subsidy.

In 1919, the brief Third Anglo-Afghan War brought British control of any aspect of Afghanistan to an end. 

Afghanistan signed the Treaty of Rawalpindi (or Anglo-Afghan Treaty) on August 8th 1919, when Britain formally recognised the sovereignty and independence of Afghanistan and ensured neutral relations between Afghanistan and Britain.

On August 19th 1919, Emir Amanullah Khan declared independence from British influence. Note that it wasn’t independence from Britain, as Afghanistan was never part of the British Empire.

Pinot Noir has a storied history that dates back to the Middle Ages. It’s believed to have originated in Burgundy, France, going back to the Roman Empire. Over the past few hundred years, the grape variety used to make this wine has spread from France to other regions of the world as well. Now, this wine is made everywhere from Australia to New Zealand, as well as all across the United Statesand Europe.

Unfortunately, the history of National Pinot Noir Day is not as clear as the history of the wine it represents. No one really knows who created this holiday or when, but if we were forced to venture a guess, we would probably say that it was likely created by some wine association. Of course, that would only be a guess.