Occasional Digest

Despite its date being dependent on Easter and it being observed as an Orthodox Christian holiday, the origins of this festival are pagan rather than Christian with its roots based on an ancestor festival.

On Memorial Easter, families go to church and then on to the cemetery. There, the family graves are cleaned and a meal is eaten with some food intentionally let to fall on the ground as an offering to dead relatives. 

In pagan times, families would have left eggs on the graves of the dead, symbolising rebirth. When Christianity arrived in the region, rather than suppress the older traditions, the church simply absorbed the rituals into Christian festivals. The egg was an easy one as the date of spring for the ancestor worship festival fell close to Easter and the use of the egg as a symbol of rebirth fitted well with the Easter message of resurrection.

AN outwardly normal couple have decided to have not one, not two, not three, but four children, it has emerged.

Anthony and Jess, not their real names, of Bush Hill have four offspring, but all appear to have been conceived, birthed and raised without their parents being visibly deranged or members of a cult.

Neighbour Martin, not his real name, said: “Initially we assumed they had some kind of contraceptive f**k-up at least twice, but apparently they really did choose to have this many children.

“They do normal things like going to work, taking the kids swimming, going on a family holiday every year. Frankly it’s creepy how they act like there’s nothing wrong.

“Sometimes they even seem happy about this waking nightmare they’ve created for themselves. Surely one day they’ll both snap and set fire to their seven-seater Citroën?”

Family friend Kah Heng, not his real name,  said: “It’s weird. They’re not religious and they know about contraception. I’d understand if they were parenting influencers getting lucrative washing powder deals, but it’s like they enjoy having kids or something.”

Youngest son Oliver said: “I’d like to have more brothers and sisters, but mummy said ‘No, there’s a limit to how many times I can watch Bluey, so f**k that’.”

As one of the first countries to take steps along the long revolutionary road to the end of European rule of Latin America, Venezuela can be excused for effectively having two independence days. 

In 1806, there had been a failed attempt to start a revolution in Venezuela by Francsico de Miranda. Despite the failure, the attempt had sowed the seed of insurrection and a few years later, events in Europe would gave the independence movement further impetuous.

In 1808, Napoleon Bonaparte invaded Spain and put his brother Joseph on the throne. Many of the Spanish colonies in Latin America remained loyal to the deposed King Ferdinand. On 17 April 1810, news that Ferdinand had been finally defeated by Napoleon reached Caracas, where the people decided independence was better than French rule.

On 19 April 1810 (Maundy Thursday, the day before Good Friday) Vicente Emparan, the Captain General of Venezuela, was dismissed, giving way to the formation of the Supreme Junta of Caracas, one of the first to form an autonomous government in Latin America.

The Junta governed until 2 March 1811, when the First National Congress was installed, which appointed a triumvirate composed of Cristóbal Mendoza, Juan Escalona and Baltasar Padrón. 

Francsico de Miranda returned from exile, and pushed further for independence. A few months later, on 5 July 1811, the Declaration of Independence was finally signed, creating the First Republic of Venezuela. The Spanish resisted this movement for independence and the revolution and republic was quashed in 1812. 

However, this first declaration of independence meant that full independence was only a matter of time indeed nine years later Venezuela became independent under the leadership of Simon Bolivar in 1821.

ALLOWING another road-user to take precedence over you is an unforgivable sign of weakness and should incur points, motorists have agreed.

Giving way, whether to a car, a cyclist or a pedestrian is an act of submission which should, if repeated, lead to the loss of a driving licence and in extreme cases a full ban because of the danger it poses.

Qashqai driver Karen, not her real name,  said: “It’s basic biology. Do rhinos give way to a herd of antelope? No. They charge ahead because they’re top of the food chain.

“By hesitating around being courteous and prioritising others, these idiots are causing crashes among real drivers like me: confident, brake seldom, basically apex predators with windscreen wipers.”

Shane, not his real name, a Ford Ranger Raptor driver from Stafford, agreed: “There are rules about who has right of way at junctions, and there are unwritten rules about self-respect and what it takes to get ahead.

“I’m not giving way just to be ‘nice’. It’s not the 14th century and I’m not a gallant knight. I’m a 43-year-old man on the way to the big Sainsbury’s to buy toilet roll.”

Reform MP Robert Jenrick said: “This nation has been weakened by the constant nanny-state need to make sure others are not ‘at risk’ of an ‘imminent collision’. When we should be ruling the road and dominating every junction, instead we ‘give way’.

“I don’t even stop for red lights. I go straight through them.”

Zimbabwe was first influenced by Europeans with the arrival of The British South Africa Company in the 1890s. The company had been founded by Cecil Rhodes in 1889 to colonise the region.

The area became known as Southern Rhodesia (in honour of Cecil Rhodes) in 1895 and was governed by the British South Africa Company until 1922 when the European settlers voted to become a British Colony.

In 1953, Britain created the Central African Federation, made up of Southern Rhodesia (Zimbabwe), Northern Rhodesia (Zambia) and Nyasaland (Malawi).

Following the breakup of the Federation in 1964, when Zambia and Malawi gained independence, Ian Smith became Prime Minister of the country (now called Rhodesia). Smith began a campaign for independence from Britain, with the government being run by the white minority. Independence was declared in 1965, but was not recognised internationally and led to sanctions against the country. This also led to an extensive campaign of guerilla warfare within Rhodesia and the rise of the Zanu and Zapu organisations.

Under this pressure, the white minority finally consented to multiracial elections in 1980. Robert Mugabe and his Zanu party won the independence elections, with Mugabe becoming Prime Minister and Zimbabwe’s independence being formally recognised on April 18th 1980.

A MAN on Tinder who appears to be without significant perversions, addictions, commitment issues or a receding hairline is a huge red flag, women have agreed.

When 28-year-old Hannah, not her real name or age, matched with 32-year-old Guido, not his real name or age, she was immediately unsettled by his individually-tailored responses and failure to send a dick pic.

She said: “It was like I was talking to a human being, not an AI. So I was creeped out immediately.

“Tall, but he didn’t say ‘6ft cos apparently that matters’. No pictures in Lederhosen or by someone else’s sports car. Zero requests for nudes or feet pics. In every shot he’s fully clothed. My freak siren was screaming.

“Even worse, he seemed genuinely interested in getting to know me and ‘wants a monogamous relationship’. What unspeakable horror is this concealing? He’ll be asking me to shove a hairbrush up his arse on date one.

“He uses full sentences and correct spelling. How could he possibly be single? This is London. Any halfway normal man is chased by mobs of women the moment he leaves the house.”

Guido said: “Hannah’s right to be happy. I am in fact a 62-year-old about to interest her in an exciting crypto opportunity.”

Rose Francine Rogombé was a Gabonese politician who became the Acting President of Gabon in June 2009 after President Omar Bongo Ondimba, who had led Gabon for 42 years, passed away after a heart attack. 

Rogombé was a lawyer by profession and a member of the Gabonese Democratic Party. She was elected as President of the Senate in February 2009 and as such constitutionally succeeded Bongo.

Rogombé’s interim presidency ended in October 2009 when Ali Bongo, the son of the late President, won the presidential elections. She then returned to her post as President of the Senate.

Rogombé died, aged 72, on April 10th 2015 at a hospital in Paris, where she had gone for medical treatment a few days prior.