I told Little Mix how down I was & one said ‘Is that it? Can we go?’ Days later I tried to kill myself, says Jesy Nelson

AFTER five long years, the dark truth behind Jesy Nelson’s feud with Little Mix has been laid bare for the first time – as the singer reveals she made a secret suicide attempt days before quitting the group.

Jesy — whose abrupt exit from the girl band has been shrouded in mystery until now — claimed her cry for help in the lead-up to her overdose was ignored by bandmates Leigh-Anne Pinnock, Perrie Edwards and Jade Thirlwall.

Thankfully, she was saved by her quick-thinking mum Jan, who raised the alarm after Jesy fell unconscious while on the phone to her.

Speaking about her daughter’s near-death experience for the first time,

Jan said: “For a few days before, she had just been really down and not talking much. She wanted to be on her own quite a lot.

“I got a gut feeling that something wasn’t right. I kept ringing and ­ringing, but there was no answer.

PROUD MUM

Jesy Nelson shares unseen snap of baby twins holding hands after SMA diagnosis

SUPER CUTE

Jesy Nelson reveals unseen pics of twin babies after SMA diagnosis

“She eventually answered the phone and the way she talking was really slurry.

“I heard the phone drop and didn’t hear anything else — I knew she’d done something.”

It was the second time Jesy had tried to take her own life following an overdose in 2013, which she ­previously opened up about in her NTA-winning BBC documentary Jesy Nelson: Odd One Out.

She later said that online abuse over her appearance left her unable to “tolerate the pain any more”.

‘You’ve got to stop’

Her boyfriend at the time, Diversity dancer Jordan Banjo, called an ambulance and she was taken to ­hospital, but one week later was told to “pull it together” to film a video for Little Mix’s single Salute.

Jesy, 34, admits: “It all just got too much for me. My manager was like, ‘Come on Jesy, you need to pull ­yourself together.’

“So it just got swept under the rug and everything went back to normal.”

Reflecting on her second attempt seven years later — just days before she quit Little Mix — Jesy said: “I was so sad. I was so down.”

The star was rushed to hospital by ambulance and missed the final of Little Mix’s BBC talent show The Search, with host Chris Ramsey ­telling fans she had fallen ill.

The singer recalled: “I knew after coming out of hospital that I ­mentally couldn’t do it [be in the band] any more.”

Jesy had sunk into a deep depression after returning to work following the 2020 pandemic.

Recalling the painful breakdown of Little Mix’s friendship days before her overdose, Jesy said: “I sat ­everyone down to explain how I was feeling and I remember one of the responses being, ‘Are you done now? Is that it?’

“She [one of the girls] was like, ‘Can I go now?’”

Fighting back tears, Jesy added: “That made me feel really alone. I felt like there was no point. That no one cared.”

Hidden turmoil within the group led to Jesy trying to take her own life, with her mum Jan insisting: “I can see why they [the other Little Mix members] did get angry at times.

“It’s hard to work with someone who is always down when you are always happy.

“But I personally believe that at Jesy’s lowest of low times, the girls were not really there for her and I think that’s why she’s so sad now.”

In her new Prime Video docuseries Jesy Nelson: Life After Little Mix, Jesy also makes the bombshell claim that another bandmate tried to quit a year before her shock exit.

Unbeknown to fans, the girls had agreed their next tour would be their last, but a two-year delay pushed their “sisterhood” to the brink.

After Jesy’s second suicide attempt, her mum said: “I kept cuddling her and said, ‘Right, that’s it now. No more.

I didn’t get my opportunity to explain why I couldn’t do this any more. I feel mad that that was taken away from me

Jesy Nelson

“You’ve got to stop doing what makes you unhappy’.”

While in hospital recovering, Jesy made the difficult decision to quit.

But after seeking legal advice, she felt betrayed when her lawyer ­delivered the news to the rest of ­Little Mix without her consent.

Jesy said: “I think they felt really hurt about that and it should never have played out like that.

“I didn’t get my opportunity to explain why I couldn’t do this any more. I feel mad that that was taken away from me.”

When Jesy later attempted to meet up with the girls, she claims her manager said that Leigh-Anne, Perrie and Jade “would only feel comfortable if there was a therapist present”.

Jesy tearfully said of Little Mix: “I didn’t feel like they were my sisters [any more]. I’d just come out of the hospital. This is the time I need you the most.”

Despite what she’d been through with her mental health battle, Jesy never saw the girls again.

Leigh-Anne went on to say the girls were left so “traumatised” by their bandmate’s exit they needed counselling.

Jesy explained: “Eventually there was a phone call.

“It was really awkward and so weird. It was like talking to strangers.

“It was the most uncomfortable phone call of my life. No one knew what to say.

“And that’s the last time I ever spoke to them as a group. It’s been five years now and every time I think about it, I think, was it them or was it the management? I’ll never know.”

‘Me and Jade cried’

Speaking for the first time about the end of Little Mix being planned a year before her exit when one of the other girls announced they wanted to walk away, Jesy said: “I thought everyone was in a really good place, but I was wrong.

“We got called in for a meeting and I just had this gut feeling that it wasn’t going to be good.

“One of the girls had decided they didn’t want to be in the band any more. I remember feeling my whole world had fallen apart.

“It was a really sad day — me and Jade really cried. I was devastated.”

When pushed to reveal the name of singer who wanted to quit at the beginning of 2020, Jesy added: “I don’t think that’s for me to say because they still haven’t said.

“It’s been really hard to not speak out about this.

“I thought we’d be together ­forever. It was never my decision to leave first.”

When Covid hit, the band’s end date was pushed back by two years.

“That’s when everything got messy,” Jesy said.

“I knew the band was coming to an end because one of the girls had made the decision to leave and I felt like I was being fake.

“I got this very quick realisation that I wasn’t happy.”

Jesy felt “swarmed with insecurities” after returning to the limelight following lockdown.

She began to feel fearful of performing — with panic attacks leading her to pull out of live performances including a BBC Radio One Live Lounge and as a judge on The Search.

Her vocals are also missing from tracks on Little Mix’s final album.

Jesy continued: “I had mentally checked out. It was like my body was telling me, ‘Stop now’.

“That was the moment I thought, I can’t do this any more.

“I just remember thinking, I ­cannot last another two years.

“I felt like it [the relationship with the girls] had shifted.

“There would be days I would cry and be a miserable bitch.

“All those little things build up and build up and they do get to a boiling point.”

Explaining why she is speaking out now, Jesy insists she wants to draw a line under the speculation.

She said: “I really f*ing hate that there were nine and a bit really beautiful years that I had with the girls and I really didn’t want for us to be known for that one sh***y part.

‘Sad and hurt’

“It overrode every amazing thing that we ever did and what we stood for.

“We were genuinely like sisters and I think that is what’s so sad about this whole thing.

“As the years have gone on I see both sides. I see why they would be sad and hurt.”

Little Mix became the first group to win X Factor in 2011 before making UK singles chart history with five No1s and selling more than 75million records worldwide.

Jesy walked out of the girl band in November 2020 and two years later released her debut single Boyz with rapper Nicki Minaj.

On the track Mine, she paired up with Zion Foster — who later became the father of her two children before they split in January.

Little Mix went on an extended hiatus in 2022 to pursue solo careers and start families.

Despite never reconnecting in person again, in May last year Jesy’s former bandmates got back in touch after she became pregnant with identical twins.

Nine-month-old girls Ocean and Story have since been diagnosed with Spinal Muscular Atrophy Type 1 — the most severe form of a rare disease affecting muscle strength and movement.

Jesy recently told The Sun there was hope of reconciliation between her and the girls after the five- year feud was “healed” by her children arriving.

In the docuseries, Jesy said: “They reached out to me when I was pregnant.

“It was lovely because I never thought that would happen. It made me really emotional.

“We’re grown women. We’ve got kids. I just think there are so many more important things in life.

“It’s just one of those things that needs to be put to bed now.”

• Jesy Nelson: Life After Little Mix is available on Prime Video from today.