GEMMA Collins has opened up about her journey with grief after heartbreakingly losing her mum.
The former Towie star announced earlier this week that her beloved mum Joan had passed away after several years of health issues.
Now, Gemma says her grief is ‘coming in waves’ and detailed how she is healing during the difficult time.
In a new Instagram post, the star shared a picture of a memorial area set up for her mum – containing a framed picture of them together, flowers, and candles.
She captioned the snap: “Grief is the price we pay for love. ❤️
“Thank you from the bottom of my heart for every message, every prayer, every kind word. I’m reading them all and getting back to everyone slowly. Please bear with me. Some moments I feel okay, and then it comes in waves.
“One beautiful thing keeps happening. A butterfly has been with me constantly, appearing wherever I go.
“It brings me a sense of peace, and in my heart I truly feel it’s my mum letting me know she’s close, watching over me, and reminding me that love never really leaves us.”
Gemma continued to say that her fans and friends were ‘holding me up’ – after a wave of tributes piled in for Joan.
She ended the post: “Thank you all for holding me up with your kindness. It means more than you’ll ever know. 🦋🤍
“She loved @paulmccartney and the @thebeatles I’m finding lots of healing listening to the music 🦋🐦⬛”.
Gemma announced her mum’s death online earlier this week, sharing how she had passed ‘peacefully’ and was finally ‘out of pain’.
Just last month, Joan was rushed to hospital after being struck down with pneumonia for the second time in the space of six months.
When her mum was admitted to hospital, Gemma told fans she “couldn’t sleep with worry”.
Just six months before her hospital visit at the start of June, Joan was hospitalised with pneumonia again.
She spent five weeks under medical care before Christmas, with Gemma describing the time as the ‘toughest of her life’.
Joan had spent time in medical care several times in recent years.
In March 2020 , she was first taken to hospital with pneumonia and it was reported that she suffers from rheumatoid arthritis.
The condition left her with a heavily compromised immune system and vulnerable to infections.
Four years later in 2024, Gemma was left heartbroken as she told how her mum was in intensive care following a breast cancer diagnosis.
At the time, Joan, who found a cancerous lump between her breast and armpit, was rushed to hospital after she stopped breathing.