Occasional Digest

St. Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland, is a widely known historical figure and arguably the most famous patron saint of a country.

Despite this level of fame, we know surprisingly few details about his life. Interestingly he’s not the only recognised patron saint of Ireland, both ‘Brigid of Kildare’ and ‘Columba’ are officially recognised as such.

Also, St Patrick is a patron saint of Nigeria, Montserrat, and Engineers.

The tiny island of Montserrat, known as “Emerald Island of the Caribbean” due to its foundation by Irish refugees from Saint Kitts and Nevis, is the only place in the world apart from the Republic of Ireland, Northern Ireland and the Canadian province of Newfoundland and Labrador in which St Patrick’s Day is a public holiday.

It is generally accepted that St. Patrick was born in Northern England or Southern Scotland to wealthy parents around 385AD. His original name was probably Maewyn Succat. He later adopted Patricius as his Christian/Roman name, which became widely known as Patrick.

While he was only sixteen, Patrick was taken prisoner after a band of raiders from Ireland had attacked his family’s estate in Wales. They took him back to Ireland where he spent six years in captivity as a slave. It is said that it was at this time, while he was working as a shepherd on Slemish mountain that he became a devout Christian.

ARE you a terrible, inconsiderate son who doesn’t know what to get his mum for Mother’s Day? Try these safe gifts.

A phone call

Doesn’t have to be long. A quick two-minute chat will make your mum happy, even though she carried you for nine months and spent 15 agonising hours pushing you out. Try to make the conversation about her for once though, and how much she means to you. Your usual calls where you beg her for money can wait.

Breakfast in bed

Don’t actually know anything about your mum? Don’t panic. While she would’ve definitely enjoyed a thoughtful present related to one of her interests you’re oblivious too, some burnt toast on a plate presented to her in bed is an adequate alternative. Push the boat out and include a cup of tea that isn’t made to her liking.

Some flowers

If you were an attentive son, you would’ve already pre-ordered a bunch of your mum’s favourite flowers to be delivered to her on the big day. Seeing as you’re not even sure if she likes flowers, you’ll have to make do with a handful of daffodils yanked out of her garden. They’re definitely a step up from a bouquet of forecourt flowers, due to not being completely shrivelled yet.

A nice meal

You’ve left it too late to book a table at Wetherspoons, so you’ll have to cross your fingers that there’s a space at a fancy restaurant. Failing that, anywhere your mum can sit in peace for five minutes and sip on an elderflower cordial will do. You have to accompany her to whatever you settle on as well, otherwise she’ll look tragic.

For you to move out

Your mum may say that she wants chocolates or a trip to the spa, but this is really what she’s holding out for. She already knows how she wants to redecorate the childhood bedroom you still live in, so get her the ultimate treat this Mother’s Day by moving all of your crap into a storage unit. If you need help, your dad will be all too happy to lend a hand.

Hungary had been part of the Austrian Empire since the early part of the nineteenth century, though it had operated almost as a separate country; it’s strongest bond to the empire was a common monarch.

The revolution in 1848 began following widespread national discontent with taxation and a desire for freedom of the press, freedom of religion and an independent parliament for Hungary. The desire for independence was also driven by other revolutions across Europe at this time.

On March 15th 1848, the poet of the revolution, Sandor Petőfi and his fellow patriots addressed the nation from the stairs of the Hungarian National Museum, reciting the Nemzeti dal (National Song). They declared a list of demands for democratic rights, now known as the 12 Points of the Pest Revolution  – a document widely considered among the nation’s most important texts.

The famous 12 Points called for the establishment of a Hungarian government and an end to all censorship. By the afternoon, thousands had joined in the cause and sparked the Hungarian Revolution, which later secured the nation’s independence.

The revolution became the war for independence, which resulted in defeat for the Hungarian revolutionaries in October 1849. Despite the failure of the revolution to deliver independence, the revolution is seen as a key point in Hungary’s history and that the efforts of the people at that time should be remembered in this national holiday.

By internet enthusiast Nancy, who doesn’t understand why documents don’t fall out of the cloud when it rains

IN my day dirty old men wore raincoats and leered. Like Terry down the butcher’s. Marie married him, but then she had to with her moustache.

But in the 21st century? They’ve got yachts and planes and islands. Take this Geoff Epstein. Good-looking man by the standards of Geoffs, but by all accounts a wrong ’un. Got Andrew in terrible trouble, and I’m a Royalist but he was always thick as mince.

There’s all sorts in his Epstein’s files, though. Politicians, diplomats, presidents. Makes me wonder – am I in there?

You might ask why he’d be mentioning an ex-bookmaker’s assistant who’s six decades outside his age range and can only get the iPad to work by shouting at it. But I let Roy take a few saucy shots back in the day. Upskirt stuff. So hot I’m surprised we got them back from the chemist.

Lord knows where they ended up, and that’s the sort of blackmail material Epstein was after. There’s nothing more compromising than a sturdy thigh and a floral gusset.

And I could easily be an enemy of a man like that. I’m very forthright. Like Graham at bowls, he didn’t like strong ladies. I’ve reposted endless memes about his mate Peter Mandelson on the Facebook and I even read a few.

Is there any way I can write to the local council and see if I’m in? Like with my Freedom of Information requests about those remote-controlled pigeons I read about online, which they were very dismissive of. Said ‘they move around a lot’ and ‘all look the same’. That’s what they want you to think.

And when Andrew’s interview came out, I publicly – on the Facebook’s neighbourhood group – called him a ‘fat n0nce’. I put the 0 in to stop it being rude. He will have seen that and the word will have gone out that I must be silenced.

Bill Gates knew Geoff, but it’s supposedly a coincidence that my Windows 95 machine keeps breaking down. Never mind that my grandson Oli says it’s ‘riddled with viruses’. Who do you think sent those?

We need them to search the Epstein files for me. And tell them to search ‘Wilks’ as well as ‘Nancy’, because a lot of the time people spell it wrong.

Summer Day is a pagan festival whose observation and traditions originated in the region around Elbasan, in central Albania.

On the outskirts of the city, a shrine was built to Zana, the goddess of hunting, forests, and nature. The tradition was that Zana would come out of the shrine after her winter hibernation on March 14th.

At the time when the traditions of Summer Day became established, March was the first month of the year. In Romania and some other countries in Eastern Europe, the first day of Spring is celebrated on March 14th. In the sixteenth century, the adoption of the Gregorian calendar added 13 days, moving Summer Day away from March 1st.

A traditional food to eat on Summer day is Ballokume, an Albanian biscuit, originating from the city of Elbasan. It is made from cornflour, eggs, sugar, and sugar mixed in a copper bowl.

Summer Day has been a public holiday in Albania since 2004.

A MAN is feeling increasingly nostalgic for his twenties despite having spent the entire decade wishing they would end.

43-year-old Martin, not his real name, has decided that his early adulthood, which was defined by existential dread, financial anxiety and relationship turmoil, was actually the prime of his life in retrospect.

He said: “At the time I was impatiently waiting for everything to fall into place so I could feel like a real adult. God I wish I could go back to those glory days.

“My job was terrible. My prospects were even worse. And I was already lagging far behind my friends when it came to falling in love and buying a house. But compared to now, where things are broadly the same, at least I had hope for the future.

“My twenties really weren’t as terrible as I thought they were. My legs didn’t ache every time I stood up, and my hairline was still on point. Pair that with a complete lack of responsibility and you can see why I miss them so much.

“So what if every day was a battle with my low self-esteem and terrible circumstances? Those are nitpicks. If I zoom way, way out, and only focus on the handful of good memories from that time, they look much better.”

Booker’s friend Anthony, not his real name, said: “Give it 20 years and Martin will be all wistful about his current situation. Which is ridiculous because his life is utter shit.”

In this part of India, farming involves Jhumming, which is a system of rotating which fields are used for planting each year. This means that each new growing season brings some heavy-duty jungle clearing, chopping down and burning bamboo and trees to make the ground ready for a new crop.

In the 15th century, a tradition of taking a well-earned break and relaxing for a few days after the clearing work began.  In those days, the festival could last for days and in the run-up to the grand finale, the traditions of the festival were established. What was also established was that this is primarily a festival of joy. Though it was never heavily religious, as the state and Mizo people moved away from traditional beliefs to become Christian, the festival fell out of favour. It was revived in the 1960s and 1970s.

Today it has grown to be the biggest of the Mizo festivals – the other two big festivals are also agricultural – Mim Kut and Pawl Kut.

And although the role of alcohol has been reduced in this dry state, the gaiety and fervour of Chapchar Kut still shines through with plenty of dancing and music to keep everyone in good spirits.

Chapchar Kut takes place on the Assam Rifles ground in Lammual and involves around 15,000 performers and most of the spectators also get involved in proceedings – particularly Chai, the last dance of the festival.

Due to its strategic position, Mauritius was a prized target for European countries looking to establish control and trade routes in the Indian Ocean. Mauritius passed through Dutch, French and finally British control, becoming a colony of Britain in March 1810.

Mauritius was named by the Dutch in honour of Prince Maurits van Nassau in the 17th century.

In 1959, British Prime Minister Harold Macmillan had given his famous ‘Winds of Change’ speech, stating the British government’s intention to give independence to many of its overseas colonies. This led to an increasing call within Mauritius for self-rule.

The elections of 1966 resulted in a victory for an alliance of the Mauritius Labour Party and other self-rule parties.

On March 12th 1968, Mauritius adopted its new constitution and gained independence as a constitutional monarchy. Queen Elizabeth II remained head of state and Sir Seewoosagur Ramgoolan became the first Prime Minister of Mauritius.

Exactly twenty-four years later, on March 12th 1992, Mauritius was proclaimed as a republic within the British Commonwealth.

To mark National Day, Mauritians will show their pride in their nation by displaying their colourful flag across the island. An official flag-raising ceremony takes place with military parades and live music.

THAT night of slippery anal the two of you haven’t discussed since? Shared over brunch, complete with hand gestures. Here’s how to acknowledge that:

Take pride in your achievements

Why are you embarrassed? You are now one of the great lovers of history, whose sweaty achievements are spoken of with hushed awe in Pret. Like Casanova, Cleopatra or Jacob Rees-Mogg, your prodigious shagging is the sort of feat that would’ve once kept medieval minstrels in business. Except now it’s your girlfriend’s mate Nat who’ll be recounting your tale through various group chats.

She was there first

Long before your first kiss with your beloved, your girlfriend’s best mate heard about your Hinge opener and gave a second opinion on your haircut. You’re only together because this woman approved them, like a chaperone of the Regency period. By listening to stories of your prowess, she’s keeping her role as your girlfriend’s guide through the bewildering gauntlet of modern love.

Fantasise

Pretend you’re living in a letter to Penthouse. You never thought your girlfriend’s mate fancied you. But then she heard tell of how you provided nine minutes of sustained cunnilingus, and now she’s queueing up to sample the goods next to your obliging partner. Have fun imagining how this would play out, while remembering to never, ever tell your girlfriend of this specific fantasy.

Accept things were already awkward

You can only be so close to your girlfriend’s best friend. While she might not acknowledge it, she’s always going to resent you for stealing her pal away from her. So what if stories of your sexual prowess drive a further wedge between the two of you? Don’t worry, she’s only holding onto them to weaponise for when you split.

See if it works two ways

If your girlfriend’s mate is being told all of the sordid details of your sex life, then it’s only fair that you learn about who she’s f**king and how. Open with an easy question, like ‘So does Sonya swallow?’ If your girlfriend is repulsed at your asking and this leads to a relationship-ending argument, at least your paranoia about what’s she’s saying about how you shag will be a moot point.

King Moshoeshoe I is considered the father of Lesotho. He reigned from 1822 – 1870, founding Basutoland to unite the tribes in the area in order to defend themselves from attacks by the Zulus.

Never suffering a major military defeat, Moshoeshoe was able to resist colonialism efforts of the Boer trekkers from the Orange Free State and although Basutoland became a British colony, Moshoeshoe was able to keep his country separate from British South Africa and Apartheid South Africa. 

Ongoing border disputes with the Boers were resolved at the Treaty of Aliwal in 1869, bringing stability to his Moshoeshoe’s Kingdom.

King Moshoeshoe I was given a wool blanket as a gift in 1860 and was so taken with it that he abandoned his traditional leopard-skin kaross (cloak), popularizing the iconic Basotho blanket worn in Lesotho today and during the holiday’s events. 

Moshoeshoe died on March 11th 1870.

International Wig Day is a holiday that’s observed in various ways. It’s a day when people who are forced to wear a wig for the rest of the year can take a break from worrying about their hair. It’s also a day for those who enjoy elaborate wigs to dressup with the wildest wigs they can find.

Although people around the world celebrate this holiday for fun, it was actually created for a very serious reason. Temashop in Denmark established it in 2016 to raise awareness about cancer and the side effects of most cancer treatments.

Until 2008, this holiday was known as Baron Bliss Day as the day is dedicated to Baron Bliss, who willed nearly two million Belize dollars to a trust fund for the benefit of the citizens of what was then the colony of British Honduras, now Belize.

Henry Edward Ernest Victor Barretts was born in Buckinghamshire, England in 1869.  He took the familial title of Fourth Baron Barreto in his early adulthood. He was a successful engineer, justice of the peace and man of substantial family wealth (from the manufacturing of gun parts).

In 1911, at the age of 42, Bliss became paralyzed from the waist down, probably as a result of Polio.

He had become wealthy, and gained his title, through a series of inheritances. This wealth allowed him to retire and sail to the Caribbean and indulge his true passions for fishing and sailing. He spent time in the Bahamas and Trinidad, before settling down in British Honduras where he spent the rest of his life, living on his yacht – never actually visiting the Belize mainland.

In early 1926, he was told that he had a terminal illness and changed his will to leave his fortune to British Honduras.

Bliss died on 9 March 1926 and was buried in Belize City and a lighthouse was built in his memory.

Most of his fortune was placed in a trust fund for the benefit of the citizens of British Honduras. Over the years, the trust has provided more than $2 million to fund projects across the country.

Soon after his death, the government declared 9th March to be Baron Bliss Day, a national public holiday.

A MAN is never more than 480 minutes from being able to neck pints of delicious, refreshing beer, it has emerged.

Booze-lover Martin, not his real name, has calculated that between lengthy stints of going to work and being asleep, he is never more than eight hours from being able to indulge in a crisp, tasty pint of lovely beer.

He said: “It sounds like one of those unbelievable facts, like how space is only 62 miles away. But it’s true for all of us, unless you’re teetotal.

“Think about it. If you have a drink before you go to bed, you’re just eight hours away from your next sip. And that’s only if you don’t get up in the middle of the night for a cheeky top up after going for a wee.

“According to HR I can’t drink at work, but there’s nothing stopping me from having a cheeky swig in the car park at 8:59. Then it’s simply a case of watching the clock count down to pub time. If I get really desperate I can usually get away with a half during lunch.

“Long-haul flights aren’t a problem thanks to the drinks trolley. I can’t see myself having to wait more than eight hours unless I get stranded on a desert island or there’s prohibition. Even then I reckon I could figure something out.”

He added: “It’s little babies I feel sorry for. They have to wait 18 years, or if they’re cool, 11.”

International Women’s Day was first established at the 1910 International Socialist Women’s Conference in Copenhagen. German women’s rights activist and Marxist theorist Clara Zetkin was the one who tabled the idea.

Germany, Austria, Switzerland, and Denmark celebrated the holiday for the first time on March 19th 1911, with the Soviet Union the first to make it a public holiday in 1917. The date of 8th March was adopted internationally in 1921.

IWD was declared a national holiday in Mongolia (1957); Angola (1961); Ukraine (1965); Cuba (1966); Vietnam (1975); Mozambique (1975); Zambia (1996); and Kazakhstan (1998).

In 1977, the United Nations declared 8th March as International Women’s Day, a day each year when the world should celebrate, recognize and remember women and the accomplishments they have made to society. Each year has a theme:

The theme of International Women’s Day 2025 is ‘Accelerate Action’. Collectively, we can Accelerate Action for gender equality. At the current rate of progress, it will take 134 years, roughly five generations from now, to reach full gender parity in 2158, according to data from the World Economic Forum. Focusing on the need to Accelerate Action emphasises the importance of taking swift and decisive steps to achieve gender equality. It calls for increased momentum and urgency in addressing the systemic barriers and biases that women face, both in personal and professional spheres. So, together, let’s Accelerate Action and speed up the rate of progress worldwide.

A WOMAN who really believes her boyfriend is faithful just wants to innocently scour all of his communications, she has confirmed.

Hannah, not her real name, insists she does not suspect her boyfriend James, not his real name, of cheating but wants to comprehensively go through his entire archive of texts, WhatsApp messages and emails going back to 2018 for fun.

She said: “I think it would be a wholesome bonding experience that will bring us even closer together. I’m surprised James has even the slightest misgivings about the idea. The innocent have nothing to hide.

“What could be more enjoyable than letting me read all of the silly messages he sends to his mates? I bet there are some hilarious memes they’ve exchanged I could get a giggle out of. Maybe he’s embarrassed that I’ll find all of the cute, loving things he’s said about me.

“I’m not naive. I know he has some women in his contacts, like his mum and his sister. But I’m not the jealous type, I just want to know who they all are, how they know each other, and see every word they’ve said to each other out of curiosity.

“And once we’ve done that we can trawl his social media DMs and his camera roll. Including the hidden folders. And then I can check them again on a weekly basis forever or until I dump him.”

He said: “I’d love to but my phone just did a big update that wiped all of its memory. Unlucky.”

The Prophet Muhammad was in a cave on Mount Hira, close to Mecca, when the angel Gabriel appeared and revealed the first five lines of Surh Al-Alaq (chapter 96 of the Qur’an).

Following this first revelation, Muhammad received many revelations of holy text for the rest of his life ( a further twenty three years).

The revelations were recorded by scribes and after the death of Muhammad, they compiled them in texts. The version of these texts that became the Qur’an was established by Caliph Uthman.

A WOMAN preparing for a night out has entered the third day of applying and redoing her winged eyeliner.

Lauren, not her real name, began applying makeup to her eyelids three days ago, and has remained in an endless loop of carefully drawing on her eyeliner, wiping it away and trying again ever since.

She said: “I know from experience that putting on eyeliner can take a while, so I gave myself plenty of time. Unfortunately I’ve overrun by 71 hours.

“In theory it shouldn’t take too long. Once I’ve mapped out the wings with a couple of flicks, it’s simply a case of joining them together. As you can see from where I’ve punched the wall out of frustration though, the reality is more complicated.

“To get that perfect cat-eye look, you need the steady hands of a heart surgeon. But by day two I was getting cramp and losing my grip on the brush. Sure, I could ask my housemate to draw them on in seconds, but that would be admitting defeat.

“It’ll be worth the effort though once I’ve evened them out. We’re going to a dingy underground bar where nobody will be able to notice my eyeliner anyway. Can’t wait.”

Friend Hannah, not her real name, said: “Shit, sounds like Lauren’s nearly ready. I’m still plucking my eyebrows, but if I hurry I’ll only be fashionably late by 48 hours.”

Before the arrival of Europeans, Ghana was the location of the Ashanti, a powerful tribe in the region. The area had an abundance of natural resources, including gold and ivory, which attracted the attention of colonists. While the Portuguese had been the first to establish a settlement in the region, the attractiveness of the local riches led to a struggle for control between many European nations. In 1874, Britain took control over parts of the country, naming them the British Gold Coast.

The currency of Ghana is called the cedi. The word ‘cedi’ comes from a word meaning a cowry shell. Cowry shells were once used as money in Ghana.

Weakened by the efforts of World War II, Britain had begun the process of reducing its colonies around the world, including those Africa.

This desire was matched by a rising call for independence in the Gold Coast. In 1947, the United Gold Coast Convention called for “self-government within the shortest possible time” following the Gold Coast legislative elections. In 1951, Osagyefo Kwame Nkrumah won a majority in the Gold Coast legislative election and in 1952. Nkrumah was appointed the leader of the Gold Coast government. 

The Gold Coast region declared its independence from the United Kingdom on March 6th 1957 and established the nation of Ghana. 

Nkrumah went on to become the first Prime Minister of Ghana.

Ghana was the first sub-Saharan African country to achieve independence, on March 6th 1957.

A PSYCHOLOGICALLY corrosive and morally reprehensible person genuinely believes all her problems stem from being a people pleaser.

33-year-old Sophie, not her real name , who has not experienced a single conflict in her life that she did not personally ignite, nonetheless insists she spends her life beholden to others.

She said: “It’s been tough, learning how to prioritise myself because it’s against my selfless nature. But the alternative is people taking advantage of my good, open heart.

“I instinctively put other people’s needs before my own. Telling my friend her boyfriend was clearly into me was because she needed to know. The texts to my sister about her arse being the size of an elephant’s? Same.

“Often I can’t attend family events like weddings and funerals because I’m such an empath that I experience love in a different – you could say better – way than others. Instead, thinking of how I can best recover to help them, I go shopping or have a bath instead.

“I’m so meek that it’s a struggle not letting others impede on my time, like my manager. If she says I need to be in at 9am I move heaven and earth to do so, even if I don’t manage it. But I’ve emailed her why four times last night because I’m so desperate to please.

“But change is hard. On the train, I watched a TikTok – no headphones – asking ‘people pleasers, who’s pleased by you?’ And it was so profound. Because nobody seems pleased by me.”

French Polynesia, the only overseas country of France, is a collection of over 100 islands and atolls in the South Pacific Ocean. Its remote location means it was one of the last places on Earth to become inhabited by humans. 

The first inhabitants arrived from Western Polynesia in about 200 AD. The islands were sighted by the great Portuguese explorer Ferdinand Magellan in 1521. 

Most of the major colonial powers explored the various islands and the islander’s first encounter with Christian missionaries was with Spanish priests who would stay on the islands for up to a year.

In March 1797, Protestant missionaries from the London Missionary Society (LMS) arrived, establishing a permanent presence in Polynesia.

The LMS had been formed a few years earlier with the intention of spreading Christianity across the world. 

The ‘Duff’ arrived in Matavai Bay, Tahiti on March 5th 1797, with seventeen missionaries who intended to build friendships with the locals, build a mission house for sleeping and worship, and learn the native language.  The missionaries faced initial resistance from the locals who had seen the arrival of earlier European ships bring new and unknown diseases to the islands. Eight of the seventeen missionaries left when the next British ship arrived in Tahiti.

The ones that stayed eventually had success in converting the locals including Pomare II, the king of Tahiti, who was converted from traditional beliefs to the Reformed tradition. This conversion formed the basis for the Maohi Protestant Church which is the largest in French Polynesia with followers accounting for more than half the population.

GOOD evening, welcome to this fine inner-city hostelry the tourists do not frequent. Can I tempt you to a large bar of Dairy Milk?

No, sir, I am not a licensed seller of confectionery. More of an entrepreneur, which is why my wares can be offered at such competitive prices. Box of Lindor truffles for your good lady?

How did I obtain such a delectable range of toothsome comestibles? Ah, well thereby hangs a tale of derring-do to match those of folk heroes Robin Hood and Dick Turpin! For I, with my own hands, shoplifted them from my local branch of the Co-op!

Yes, I am a familiar face in those aisles, which is why I call in at only the busiest times when the staff are most distracted. When there are queues for sausage rolls and an elderly gentleman seeks to put £20 on his gas card; that is my time.

I make my way over to the chocolate, alcohol now being protected from my depredations, and not to put to fine a point on it, I fill my trousers. And my jacket, and this sweater you see here which has remained unwashed for many months.

Then, espied by security who relish our game of cat-and-mouse as much as I, I flee. I run as fast as my shaking legs can carry me, still loaded with chocolate bars around my intimate areas. Only when safely hidden in a grimy back alley do I count my spoils.

And here they are for you now, good people, fresh and discounted. Tony’s Chocolonely? Lindt Intense Dark? This Toblerone which wedged so neatly in my cleft?

No? Suit yourselves. It saddens me so many do not recognise a bargain when they see one.

The Sultan is the constitutional ruler of the state of Terengganu. The State Constitution proclaims that the Sultan is “the Ruler and fountain head of all authority of government in the State and Territory of Terengganu”, the Head of the Religion of Islam in the state and the source of all titles, honours and dignities in the state. He is also vested with the Executive Power of the State.

This is a hereditary role, and the current Sultan Mizan Zainal Abidin is the 17th sultan, in a lineage that dates back to 1925.

Mizan became the youngest ruler of a Malaysian federal state when he was appointed as the Sultan of Terengganu in May 1998 following the death of his father, Sultan Mahmud.

He was crowned as Sultan of Terengganu on March 4th 1999.

Mizan served as the 13th Yang di-Pertuan Agong, the constitutional monarch of Malaysia, from 2006 to 2011.