YouTuber Jesse Ridgway and his wife, Ashley, shared that they terminated their pregnancy following a Down syndrome diagnosis. What happened online afterward has shocked the couple, but Jesse said he is hopeful that sharing their experience may help other couples feel less alone.
The YouTuber, who’s been a content creator for 20 years and has more than 4.3 million subscribers on his main channel, shared a video on his personal YouTube channel last week that featured he and his wife receiving the results of an amniocentesis — a test for certain genetic abnormalities, chromosomal conditions, and fetal infections — and the results were consistent with Trisomy 21, or Down syndrome.
After the couple read the results, Jesse said that they’d discussed beforehand whether they’d consider terminating the pregnancy. “I know this is traumatic for the whole community. Now that we have a definitive result, we’ll talk with the counselors, and we’re gonna have some hard conversations,” he said. Both Jesse and Ashley were emotionally distraught and crying throughout the video.
Jesse told The Times over a phone call on Thursday evening, with Ashley beside him as she recovered from her procedure, that sharing the diagnosis online happened accidentally. The couple was in the middle of a gender reveal video when they spotted the preliminary markers for Trisomy 21 on the same report.
“We were filming and ready to celebrate with our audience and we were blindsided,” he said. “What do we tell people? How do we navigate this? I reverted to being honest, and yes, that led us to the last 48 hours.”
On Wednesday, Jesse posted a lengthy statement that disclosed the couple’s decision to terminate the pregnancy. Ashley reposted the statement to her own Instagram.
“This week, my wife and I made the very difficult decision to terminate the pregnancy due to Trisomy 21,” the since-expired Instagram story read.
Jesse continued that the decision was “not made lightly” and said he appreciated the messages of support he and Ashley received. “I know some of you may be very disappointed to hear this news. We are devastated. This has been extremely traumatic for both of us, especially Ashley. She underwent the procedure earlier this week and is on the mend. Thankfully, everything went smoothly, but emotionally we are drained.”
The YouTuber continued the series of posts explaining: “When I first confronted this news, I was shocked but optimistic. … I signed on to be a parent, come what may … but I just didn’t fully understand what Down Syndrome entailed. Once we made it public, it became clear that MOST people don’t know what Down Syndrome entails (and no, it’s not the same as Autism).
“50% of babies with DS have heart defects. 75% will have hearing challenges. Over 50% will have vision problems. Impaired immune function, developmental disabilities, learning disabilities, delayed physical development, poor muscle tone, structural issues with face, decreased lifespan, etc. … Sadly, the list is long, feel free to look it up … Down Syndome isn’t a “blessing”, it is objectively sh— from a health perspective. I didn’t realize just how rough it is for the child, let alone the family.”
According to the National Institutes of Health, about 6,000 babies are born in the U.S. each year with the condition, affecting about 1 out of every 700 babies. “[W]ith appropriate support and treatment, many people with Down syndrome lead happy, productive lives,” the agency notes, but there are often significant lifelong health challenges and risks.”
Ashley had the abortion on Monday. Jesse said he spent the beginning of the week tending to her, and on Wednesday he crafted the post to explain what the couple had decided and why.
“I put it out there for my audience, and then it took on another life. Because it’s a contentious topic, I figured there would be some level of like flak or differing opinions, but to see what it’s become has been pretty shocking,” he said. “There are a million abortions every year, and I’m just shocked that one couple deciding to abort for Trisomy 21 is mainstream news. This is happening every day, and it’s just not talked about.”
Jesse said that his and Ashley’s DMs had been flooded not only with messages of support but also dozens of confessions from strangers who had been through the same experience. And while the supportive messages felt “validating,” Jesse said the couple had received a “tremendous amount of death threats. People saying we’re murderers.”
According to Healthline, nearly 100% of women in Iceland who receive a positive test for Down syndrome terminate their pregnancy. In Denmark, 98% are terminated, in France 77%, and in the United States it’s 67%.
When the Ridgways had finished filming the results of the amniocentesis, they debated whether they should share the video. They said they didn’t even want to watch the tape.
“But I kept coming back to, there are so many people out there like us dealing with these things, and nobody’s talking about it,” he said. “I think if we share this, it will have a net positive for other people, and they can feel more comfortable and less shame confronting these things. … I hope other people can see that, that there is some value in this, but I can’t push it any more than I have. People are going to cast their judgments.”