Eric Dane said he first shut down emotionally at just 7 years old, when navigating his father’s sudden death from a gunshot wound in a bathroom at his family’s home.
It wasn’t until his diagnosis with ALS decades later that the seasoned actor felt his own spirit return, Dane said in an interview released Friday on Netflix. The actor died Thursday at 53 following a public battle with the disease. The nearly hour-long interview, filmed in November, is part of the docuseries “Famous Last Words,” which features posthumous interviews with notable figures — the first centered on conservationist Jane Goodall and released two days after her death.
The actor spoke candidly about his debilitating disease, saying it “made me a little bit softer, a little bit more open.” The intimate conversation was conducted by television producer Brad Falchuk, who executive produces “Famous Last Words.”
“All I’m left with is me,” Dane said. “It’s kind of a f— up way of realizing that you were enough the whole time, when everything gets taken away and all you have left is this person.”
In the episode, Dane’s speech is noticeably slurred, and he sits in a motorized wheelchair while speaking to Falchuk. He’s thoughtful and responsive throughout as he reflects on his life and career, which spanned more than three decades.
“I didn’t think this was gonna be the end of the road for me. This was never part of the story I created for myself,” Dane said.
The actor described himself as a complainer during the interview, adding that he’s “always historically been the guy that would b— and moan on his way to doing anything, but my spirit has been surprisingly pretty buoyant throughout this journey.”
A final message to his daughters
Dane stared straight into the camera in the last few minutes of the Netflix special, his voice wavering when tears welled up in his eyes. He directed his parting words to his two daughters, Billie, 15, and Georgia, 14, sharing four lessons he’s learned from ALS.
“Billie and Georgia, you are my heart. You are my everything. Good night. I love you. Those are my last words,” Dane said.
Dane married Rebecca Gayheart, the mother of his children, in 2004 and the couple separated in 2017, though the divorce was never finalized. They maintained a friendship after their separation, though, and Dane said he had “never fallen in love with another woman as deeply as I fell in love with Rebecca.”
Dane said he spent most of his life “wallowing and worrying in self-pity, shame and doubt.” But with ALS, he was “forced to stay in the present,” he said, which he encouraged his daughters to do.
Eric Dane, left, in conversation with Brad Falchuk on “Famous Last Words.”
(Courtesy of Netflix)
“I don’t want to be anywhere else. The past contains regrets. The future remains unknown, so you have to live now,” Dane said. “The present is all you have. Treasure it. Cherish every moment.”
Dane also encouraged his daughters to fall in love, not just with people, but with something “that makes you want to get up in the morning,” he said. For Dane, that love was acting, which “eventually got me through my darkest hours, my darkest days, my darkest year,” he said.
The actor, who was open about his struggles with addiction, had been sober for nine years before slipping back into drug and alcohol use during a writer’s strike that halted “Grey’s Anatomy” production in 2007.
Dane told his daughters they inherited his resilience and urged them to “fight with every ounce of your being, and with dignity.”
Dane added: “This disease is slowly taking my body, but it will never take my spirit.”
ALS diagnosis brought peace
Aside from throwing a few punches to people who “deserved it,” Dane said he had no crazy confessions to make as the interview came to a close.
“I’ve never murdered anyone, Brad,” the actor joked to Falchuk.
The actor assured he lived a life full of fun, whether healthy or unhealthy. His fruitful career took off with his role as Dr. Mark “McSteamy” Sloan in “Grey’s Anatomy.” The gig started as a one-time guest role but “ignited a fan hysteria so intense,” Falchuk said, that the show was rewritten to make Dane a leading man.
Dane further cemented his legacy when he portrayed Cal Jacobs in “Euphoria,” a complicated character who leads a double life, which Dane said he related to. “I know what it’s like to not have my inside match my outside,” he said, referencing his long-standing battle with drugs and alcohol addiction.
His ALS diagnosis freed him from a constant state of self-judgment, Dane said, and helped him realize that he was always “absolutely more than enough.”
“I hope I’ve demonstrated that you can face anything. You can face the end of your days, you can face hell, with dignity,” he said.