A DESPICABLE bastard of a boyfriend is on thin ice after being openly unsure if the person his partner is telling an anecdote about is an obviously malevolent idiot.
Hannah, not her real name, came home from work furious about an outrage committed toward her and only required the man who is supposed to love her to give his full, uncompromising support which he singularly failed to do.
She said: “I was telling Joe about this twat at work who did something utterly moronic, as usual. He already knows the backstory. His role could not have been clearer.
“But in the middle of what I was saying, just as the extent of her malice was about to become apparent, he cuts in with, ‘Well, it sounds like Mary was just trying to help’.
“I explained he does not know her, has no idea what she’s like, and added that if that is how he feels maybe he should just go to Mary’s house and tell her since clearly he loves her and wants to shag her. What an absolutely useless prick.”
Boyfriend Allan, not his real name, said: “According to Hannah, she said the meeting notes needed writing up, it wasn’t specifically delegated to Mary, she did it anyway but nobody had told her what format to use. I failed to see the villainy in that.
“I thought this would show I was actually listening to the story, not just mindlessly agreeing. I see now that was a mistake.
“Thankfully, Hannah’s being completely rational about it and has asked if I want Mary’s, who’s 62 and married, home address so I can tell her how great she is and we can arrange a tryst.”