With their unique adults-only approach to cruising, Virgin Voyages is attracting a whole new generation of cruisers
The ship’s resident drag queen, Daisy Bucket, kept us entertained(Image: Ollie Leitelmayer)
If you’d asked me a few years ago to go on a cruise, it’s fair to say I’d be apprehensive. The idea of being trapped on a floating Butlin’s, pushing past screaming toddlers to reach the lukewarm buffet, wasn’t exactly my idea of a relaxing holiday. Then I heard about Virgin Voyages : no kids, no buffets, and the few people I knew that’d tried it raved about it.
Billed by the company as an adults-only boutique hotel at sea, Richard Branson’s cruise line has won multiple awards since it launched in 2021, as well as amassing a loyal fanbase.
I thought it was time to see if I could become one of those fans, could I finally be a cruise person? I embarked on one of Virgin Voyages’ sailings from Portsmouth, an easy 90-minute drive from my home in Oxfordshire.
This wasn’t just any cruise though, this was one of the company’s specialty comedy cruises – promising top acts from across the UK, all included in your fare.
I have to say, the standard of names was well above what I expected for a cruise ship. Headliners included Celebrity Traitors star Lucy Beaumont, Gogglebox regular Babatunde Aleshé and I’m A Celebrity all-star Seann Walsh, to name a few. All of the comedy shows were excellent, but my standout has to be Matt Richardson, of Xtra Factor fame. His show was genuinely one of the funniest things I’d ever seen, and had the audience in hysterics.
This was all offered alongside Virgin’s regular entertainment offering, which includes bingo with the ship’s resident drag queen, cabaret shows and gameshows – one of which even had a prize from the on-board tattoo parlour.
A tattoo parlour at sea pretty much sums up the whole design and vibes of the ship. Stepping onboard is like walking into a chic beach club in Ibiza. We entered our balcony cabin, and within a few minutes I was sitting in the iconic Virgin Voyages hammock with a glass of champagne. Not bad for a cruise sceptic.
The Valiant Lady may only be five years old, but it’s already had a refurb with refreshed seating areas, menus and a brand new restaurant.
At the very back of the ship sits The Dock, an outdoor lounge and casual small plates eatery that feels extremely relaxed. Forget clunky plastic sunloungers, here you sink into comfortable modern seats and huge beds and look out to the incredible views.
It was here that I started to think ‘I could get used to this’, as a helpful waiter handed me my third sangria and delivered our snacks. Think charred octopus and hanger steak, all included in the fare.
That brings me to one thing I’d heard about cruising – ‘it’s a constant sales pitch’. That may be the case on other cruise lines, but based on what I experienced, it could not be further from the truth on Virgin.
Standard WiFi and soft drinks are free, and every single restaurant on board is included. The majority of dishes are included in the fare, although some venues have one or two premium menu items at an extra cost. We never felt compelled to try these as there were so many appealing options which were included.
In fact, the food is one point that I heard so much about. Replacing the traditional buffet, you have The Galley, a food market style venue with multiple cuisines offered – all made to order. Imagine lots of street food stalls, including tacos, burgers and sushi.
Then there are the sit-down restaurants, which feel like trendy London eateries that I’d genuinely want to eat at on land. There’s no traditional ‘main dining room’ here, and no strict dress code to boot.
Highlights on-board included Ariya, the new Indian restaurant which, for me, blew Dishoom out of the water with its tender lamb shank biryani, and The Wake, a high-end steak restaurant nestled at the bottom of a glamorous, cascading staircase.
There were, of course, things I didn’t love. The pool area is relatively small, and although not an issue on our chilly UK cruise, I could see it becoming more of an issue on a sunnier trip.
There is honestly so much more I could write about this ship. I haven’t even touched on the spectacular Scarlet Night, where the entire ship transforms into a massive bright-red pool party.
I left this holiday feeling fully converted into a ‘cruise person’, so much so that I even booked two more trips before we pulled back into Portsmouth.
If you’ve spent your whole life swearing you’d never set foot on a cruise ship, it might just be time to eat your words. I certainly did, and luckily, the food was spectacular.
