miracle

When Steven Gerrard reflects on the 2005 Champions League final, he calls it the best night of his life., external

But just two months later, he announced he was leaving Liverpool – before dramatically changing his mind overnight.

During a Netflix documentary about the Reds’ success in Istanbul, Gerrard acknowledges he was in a “bad place” mentally, with a head like “a box of frogs”.

And he says criticism from then manager Rafael Benitez contributed to his potential departure from his boyhood club.

In May 2005, Gerrard captained Liverpool to perhaps the most famous victory in their storied history as they came from 3-0 down at half-time against AC Milan to win on penalties and clinch the club’s fifth European Cup.

It was a moment fans hoped would convince Gerrard to commit his future to Liverpool amid interest from Spanish giants Real Madrid and Premier League champions Chelsea, who were managed at the time by Jose Mourinho.

Six weeks later, Gerrard announced he was leaving. Then he wasn’t.

“Mourinho was on the phone – the best manager in the world at the time, offering silly contracts, which would naturally turn your head. Chelsea were spending fortunes, he was guaranteed success there,” he says.

“I can’t park my relationship with Liverpool. When they came, I didn’t know which way to go. Mentally, I was in a bad place. My head was like a box of frogs.”

Benitez’s demeanour didn’t help.

“I felt like he didn’t rate me, he didn’t trust me, he didn’t want me,” says Gerrard, 45.

“I’ve always been clear that I want to be a Liverpool player and a Liverpool player only, but with that doubt and with that coldness and being part of a team where you don’t believe that you can compete at the top, that’s when your head gets turned.”

Gerrard’s former team-mate Jamie Carragher feels Gerrard “probably needed an arm round his shoulder”.

“Rafa Benitez was never going to do that,” says the Sky Sports pundit. “He’s very unemotional.”

Throughout the documentary, former players describe how Benitez’s criticism and obsession with granular tactical detail sometimes jarred.

Gerrard, in particular, felt that.

“My game… was about emotion, passion, desire, commitment, for the badge, for the [Liver] bird, for the family,” he says. “It was in me and I felt like he wanted to really remodel me.

“Nothing would ever satisfy him.”

Benitez, 66, defends his approach.

“When I joined Liverpool, there was a culture based on emotion,” he says. “Football requires more than that. If you’re really emotional, you don’t find the way to success.”

Time has been a healer – and Gerrard is now able to appreciate the Spaniard’s methods.

“I look back at Rafa and think he’s the best coach I have worked with,” he says.

Natalie Portman is going to have another baby.

The actor is pregnant with her third child, the first with partner Tanguy Destable. The Oscar winner told Harper’s Bazaar that she and Destable, a French music producer who goes by the stage name Tepr, are “very excited.”

“I’m just very grateful,” she told the outlet. “I know it’s such a privilege and a miracle.”

Portman, 44, said that she grew up hearing about how difficult it can be to become pregnant. As the child of a fertility doctor, the actor said she has many loved ones who’ve struggled in their journey and she wants to be considerate and respectful. “I know how lucky it is,” she continued. “I’m very aware, and I’m very grateful. I have deep appreciation and gratitude.”

The “Black Swan” actor has two children from her marriage to ex-husband Benjamin Millepied — a son Aleph, 14, and daughter Amalia, 9 — and told Harper’s that knowing this is “probably the last time,” she is cherishing every moment.

The actor also said she’s been enjoying the spring weather in Paris, where she has lived on and off for years. One other perk of being pregnant in Paris? “In France, they consider full term to be 41 weeks rather than 40, so I guess I get an extra week to be pregnant this time around.”

Portman split from Millepied in 2024 after more than a decade of marriage. The two met on the set of Darren Aronofsky’s 2010 film “Black Swan.” Millepied — a former principal dancer with the New York City Ballet — served as a choreographer on the movie. In 2023, French outlet Voici claimed Millepied had an extramarital affair with a climate activist. Shortly after, Portman quietly filed for divorce in Paris, where the two lived.

Last year, she told Jimmy Fallon during an appearance on “The Tonight Show” that an unexpected encounter with Rihanna at Paris Fashion Week in 2024 helped get her through the split.

“I think every woman going through a divorce should get to have Rihanna say to her that she’s a bad b—,” she joked to Fallon. “It was exactly what I needed.”

Fallon played a clip of the actor’s exchange with the “Diamonds” hitmaker in which Rihanna hugs Portman and says, “You are one of the hottest b— in Hollywood forever.”

Portman replies, “Excuse me? I’m going to faint.”

Portman has been romantically linked to Destable since March 2025.