Johnny

Why remake “A Christmas Carol” again? Ti West’s “Ebenezer” has a solid pitch. The horror director of “Pearl” and “MaXXXine” cranks up the shivers in Charles Dickens’ moralistic ghost story with jump scares, a zombie horde of ghouls and a cemetery outside the curmudgeon’s bedroom window. It even invents a murder as a treat.

And why has Johnny Depp, who has spent the last several years reeling from his reputation-dinging public divorce trials, chosen loathsome Ebenezer Scrooge as his comeback? Perhaps he likes aligning himself with fiction’s most famously redeemed scoundrel. When this chastened Scrooge yelps, “I’m not the man I was!” Depp gets so riled up that he jumps on his bed until it breaks.

“Ebenezer” sounds like the title of a sympathetic prequel, the sob story of a nasty man’s first “Humbug!” It sort of is. Mostly it’s the same tale, slightly expanded.

Nathaniel Halpern’s script starts by flashing back to Scrooge’s business partner, Jacob Marley (Ian McKellen), while the cranky old creep is still alive, humanizing Scrooge by showing him palling around with a friend. Marley proves to be even meaner, harassing their employee Bob Cratchit (a well-cast Rupert Grint), while Scrooge simply snickers. When Marley drops dead, then returns seven years later as a ghost, this Scrooge is so scared he wets his nightgown. We’re gifted a close-up of the puddle.

That’s the tone in a nutshell. Frankly, I wish it worked. The best holiday heartwarmers have a morbid spritz to them, from “The Nightmare Before Christmas” to “Home Alone.” (On your next rewatch of “It’s a Wonderful Life,” be sure to enjoy the moments where Donna Reed plays Mary like a gothy witch.)

Dickens also prodded his Scrooge to be funny, writing that the character’s jokes were a means of “keeping down his terror.” The novel’s best punchline comes when he accuses Marley’s spirit of being caused by undigested beef or mustard, a hallucination “more of gravy than of grave.” That quip isn’t in here; this Scrooge instead eats punishing gray oatmeal.

Inequality looks especially harsh in Victorian England’s wintry cobblestone alleys. An opening montage cuts between images of hard labor, horse dung and frozen laundry that’s too stiff to fold. “Ebenezer” seems aware that this story, as beloved as it is, won’t inspire society to solve poverty. (The sleigh bells at the ending aren’t that happy.) Cynically, it even puts a sour spin on the two charity workers who ask Scrooge to donate money to the poor. Usually, those chaps are sketched as hapless but benevolent. Here, Scrooge accuses them of pocketing the cash and gauging by their panicky reaction, he’s right.

The Ghost of Christmas Past (a wraithlike Andrea Riseborough) whisks us to Scrooge’s childhood, which has been ladled with extra misery. Scrooge’s dad is now brutally abusive, a trauma with faint support in the book, and his kindly mentor Fezziwig (Ian Midlane) gets stabbed to death by a street urchin, a trauma that’s brand new. I don’t mind the violence — it’s very Ye Olde Fox News. Still, I was surprised that we actually see the knife plunge into Fezziwig’s big, soft belly.

Who is this grim adaptation for? It’s too dark for most kids and not frightening enough for adults. Possibly, a slice of preteens will find it just right. West has never made a PG-13 movie before and who knows if he will again. But I suspect he’ll be happy if his jarring adaptation imprints on even just one future filmmaker the way his own favorite horror films imprinted on him. There’s a glimpse of one of those classics in a shot where Scrooge gets sucked into his own mattress just as Johnny Depp’s jock did in the original 1984 “A Nightmare on Elm Street” — the future star’s feature debut.

Since then, audiences have had a lot of passionate feelings about Depp. Younger generations worshiped him as the blockbuster scamp of the “Pirates of the Caribbean” franchise and the live-action redos of “Alice in Wonderland” and “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.” Older fans adored him as the adorable outcast of “Cry-Baby” and “What’s Eating Gilbert Grape.” Just last week, I teared up watching a YouTube video of a dog trainer dressed like Edward Scissorhands doing an intricate pas de deux with a border collie. As best as I can explain, I was moved by how much the woman appeared to identify with Depp’s lonely character and how she’d filled her time teaching her pet to pirouette.

Depp is aware that he can pull strong emotions out of people, wrenching his Scrooge’s mouth into a painful frown. But his eyes are empathetic and gooey, a portal right to the miser’s inner child. He keeps making the cheapskate too cute, standing knock-kneed in fright with his hands folded up under his chin. Ultimately, the actor’s need to be loved — to claw himself out of what he fears is an early career grave, an image we see him physically do — hijacks the movie. The traditional beats don’t land.

In lieu of sniffles, we get a childhood sweetheart, Belle (Ellie Bamber), saddled with a subplot about her novelist ambitions, and a Tiny Tim (Freddie Lee-Grey of the recent “Lord of the Flies”) who’s darling but inessential. At least Scrooge’s nephew Fred (Sam Claflin) has a decency that registers and his wife (Daisy Ridley) even manages one of the film’s genuine laughs.

Still, as much as I liked this couple, their scenes get stolen from them twice: first by the impish Rose Williams as a dinner guest whose husband corrects her pronunciation of the word “macabre” and again by the sight gag of a jiggly, focus-grabbing dead goose. That bird is the most delightful thing in the movie. Bless it, everyone.

Zoe Ball’s dad Johnny has accused the BBC of ‘ageism’ following her exit from Radio 2. She left the Breakfast Show after six years and returned later in a different slot but left after seven months

Zoe Ball’s dad Johnny has accused the BBC of ‘ageism’ after his daughter’s exit from Radio 2.

The radio star and presenter left the station’s Breakfast Show after nearly six years at the helm. At the time, she was believed to be earning £950,000. Following her exit from the show, she returned in a different slot.

She went on to present an afternoon Saturday slot in May 2025 but after seven months, she handed the show over to Emma Willis but continued to present special shows for the broadcaster.

Zoe’s dad Johnny – who also worked for the BBC – has now claimed that Zoe’s age had an impact on her exit, he shared: “I did Play School for 17 years, I wrote nearly all of Play Away then I did Think Of A Number and Think Again.

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“I loved every minute of it. But what happens when you are 50 at the BBC? Gone! Zoe was 54. Gone! You cannot believe it because we gave so much to the BBC.”

The Mirror has contacted the BBC for comment.

Zoe has also talked openly about how she missed out on the Strictly role and how it impacted her thoughts about work. It was later confirmed Emma Willis, Josh Widdecombe and Johannes Radebe as the new host.

Speaking at the Dorchester Literary Event, Johnny gave his verdict on the new presenters, adding: “Josh is not a Bruce Forsyth. He is a lovely bloke and I have met him a couple of times but he is not a domineering comedian as some comedians like Bruce Forsyth were. When I did Strictly, and I only did three shows.

“On each show I gave Brucie a joke and he used them and he said to me ‘I have got a writer here and he does b****r all so thanks very much’. And he said to me ‘You should never have gone out’ but that’s another story.”

Zoe had previously shared how she had to think about work once she realised she didn’t bag the Strictly role.

Speaking about her preparations for the “scary” next chapter of her career, she said: “I’m so excited. You know how it’s been, I lost my mum and I was like, ‘I want to take some time to be there for my girl’ because I’ve always worked and never been around.

“And, as I’ve sort of said on the podcast actually, I’ve been around and she’s a bit like, ‘What are you still doing here?’ And she’s finished her GCSEs now, she’s loving her freedom and I think also when the Strictly thing didn’t happen as well, I was a bit like, ‘Right, what am I going to do?’ I mean that was a long shot but having not worked, you suddenly start thinking, ‘Okay yeah I do need to go to work.'”

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KIDS TV legend Johnny Ball has today hit out at the BBC and accused them of ageism.

The national treasure, 88, claims his broadcaster daughter Zoe Ball, now 55, was suddenly “gone” from Radio 2 when she reached the age of 54.

Zoe announced she was leaving her coveted Breakfast Show slot in 2024, after six years at the helm.

The radio star then briefly returned last year for a Saturday slot on Radio 2, but left again in December.

Johnny, who himself had a long career at the Beeb, having fronted kids shows like Play School, has now given his opinion on her departure from the Beeb – after she had worked for them since the 90s.

Speaking at The Dorchester Literary Festival, the TV star said: “I did Play School for 17 years, I wrote nearly all of Play Away then I did Think Of A Number and Think Again.

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Jo Whiley breaks down in tears as she opens up on dad’s death with pal Zoe Ball

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Scott Mills’ hubby takes swipe at BBC as pal Zoe Ball starts new gig after axe

‘I loved every minute of it. But what happens when you are 50 at the BBC? Gone! Zoe was 54. Gone! You cannot believe it because we gave so much to the BBC.’

Johnny also gave his verdict on Strictly Come Dancing’s new hosts, Emma Willis, 50, Johannes Radebe, 39, and Josh Widdicombe, 43, after his daughter Zoe missed out on the job.

“Josh is not a Bruce Forsyth. He is a lovely bloke and I have met him a couple of times but he is not a domineering comedian as some comedians like Bruce Forsyth were,” he said.

“When I did Strictly, and I only did three shows, but on each show I gave Brucie a joke and he used them and he said to me ”I have got a writer here and he does b****r all so thanks very much’.

“And he said to me ‘You should never have gone out’ but that’s another story.”

Before quitting Radio 2, Zoe was one of the Beeb’s highest-paid female stars, taking home just under £1M a year.