Kevin Gower

Built to stand out not to fit in

Changing room lighting makes you feel bad about your face, body, and life choices

CHANGING rooms are carefully designed to make you feel repulsed by yourself, the items you are considering buying, the whole concept of clothing and the world, it has emerged.

Along with maddening layouts and disdainful staff, the harsh overhead lighting is chosen to confuse, demoralise and shatter all self-esteem, making shopping less a leisure activity and more an existential assault on the soul.

Changing room designer Eleanor, not her real name, said: “We pick ultra-harsh light fixtures usually associated with evening sporting events and position them six inches above you.

“The resulting aggressive glare makes your semi-naked body look as dusty and cratered as the surface of the moon while casting shadows on your lined face that make you look at least a decade older.

“The longer you stand starkly illuminated against a dun wall like a prisoner of war, the lower your will to live. You’ll move from asking why this dress makes you resemble sweating cheese through abandoning all social events to never leaving the house again.

“We want our customers to feel like disgusting little blobs in petri dishes being observed through microscope by judgemental gods who will write them up for the Mail’s sidebar of shame.”

Customer Hannah, not her real name, said: “I really appreciate how changing rooms put me off ever buying or wearing clothes again. However I’m unsure about it as a business model.”

Sunday 30 November Independence Day in Yemen

British involvement in the region began in the middle of the nineteenth century with Aden seen as a key strategic location, becoming the Aden Protectorate in 1874.

After the second world war, the cry for Arab nationalism rang out across the region, with anti-British resistance growing in Aden, becoming both more organised and violent.

On December 10th 1963, a state of emergency was declared in Aden. Guerrilla attacks by the National Liberation Front (NLF) over a sustained period during the next four years forced the British into an early withdrawal from the region on November 30th 1963, with the NLF declaring the independent state of the People’s Republic of South Yemen, comprising Aden and the former Protectorate of South Arabia.

The Republic of Yemen is the second-largest country in the Arabian Peninsula.

During the latter part of the 17th century, Yemen was the only coffee producer in the world. The coffee plant is a native of the Yemeni desert. Local Sufi mystics were the first to brew into a drink to keep them awake while praying.

‘We met on LinkedIn and run marathons together’: The six worst types of modern couple

MANY aspects of modern dating are weird and distressing, even ‘happy’ relationships. Here are some nightmare partnerships the digital age has served up.

Therapy-speak Gen Zs

Can you even call them a couple? They prefer to be referred to as a stable situationship or an anxiously-attached ambivalent pairing, but rest assured you’re going to hear about it in f**king detail. You start to wonder if they’re aliens – do they know you can have sex using your genitals, or do they just spend all their time together analysing things?

Fitness freaks

Often spotted out on morning, evening, and possibly even smug nocturnal runs, this couple lives to punish themselves. With their main topics of conversation limited to reps, sets and targets, they probably only have sex to get their heart rate up. ‘Was it good for you?’ probably requires them to check Strava.

Business buddies

They didn’t so much date as connect over work, which they love, and together have become the final boss of boring with their own brand of business blandness. They’ll need to ‘circle back’ on their plans for dinner, but after ‘touching base’ they can confirm that sex is ‘a deliverable’.

#CoupleGoals

The Insta-worthy duo never misses a chance to document the inane details of their lives together. Expect entire online sagas about matching outfits and buying each other dull gifts. Worse, they might feed their endless content mill with cute coupley ‘pranks’, although ‘humiliating your partner and filming it’ seems more accurate to you.

Edgy creatives

Ready to crap condescension into any conversation, this couple is convinced they live on a different plane to the rest of you normies. Your ignoble Netflix and chill nights could never match their penchant for Russian cinema or East London ‘algoraves’. Just knowing what those are should be punishable by being forced to listen to 5,000 hours of Val Doonican.

Together to split rent

The days of couples hating their partner should have ended with ‘her indoors’ boomer humour, but property prices are causing more miserable matches than ever. Listening to their barely concealed loathing will make you determined to be financially independent, or at least prepared to live in a tent by a lay-by in blissful singleness.

Saturday 29 November Unity Day in Vanuatu

Vanuatu is an island nation of 83 small volcanic islands in the South Pacific Ocean, with a population of about 270,000. Despite these relatively small numbers, the people speak an impressive 113 indigenous languages – it is the country with the highest density of languages per capita in the world.

And although the majority of the population have the same ethnic background, the tribes that developed on the different islands also have their own unique customs and traditions as well as languages.

Since the start of the 20th century, the islands had been jointly administered by France and the United Kingdom and known as the New Hebrides. In the 1970s the movement for independence gained momentum with the establishment of the first political party, the New Hebrides National Party (renamed as the Vanua’aku Party in 1974). The  Vanua’aku Party proclaimed the creation of a provisional government in 1977. When the leaders of the party tried to raise a flag over the headquarters in Port Vila, the action was resisted by the police leading to violence and the loss of life.

The awakening of this political spirit and the ensuing strife led to Unity Day being established as a public holiday. Its aim is to engender a spirit of national unity among Vanuatu’s very diverse population and remind the country’s diverse population of its shared struggles and interests.

To celebrate this day, representatives from all of Vanuatu’s tribal groups come to the capital city of Port Vila.

High chiefs from the different islands attend the festivities, which include performances by native dancers in their traditional dress and a parade. The holiday’s festivities typically include picnics, music concerts and sporting events.

In 2004 President Kalkot Mataskelekele asked that church leaders spend time during the day in special prayer for national unity.

The name of Vanuatu comes from two local words meaning “home” and “stand” was adopted on independence in 1980.

Man old enough to be ‘invisible’ to men actually quite pleased about it

A WOMAN IN her late 40s who now rarely gets whistled at on the street by strange men is feeling a pleasant sense of relief, she has confirmed.

Hannah, not her real name, 46, had always imagined she would feel worried and regretful about getting older, but is actually finding she can get a lot more done without being constantly harassed.

She said: “When I was younger I used to worry about ‘losing’ my sex appeal, but honestly now I couldn’t give a shit, especially as it turns out that what society deems to be sex appeal actually translates as men shouting out ‘Nice tits, love!’ when you’re just trying to post a letter.

“Now that I’ve reached the ‘invisible’ age, I can go about my business in peace, without worrying about being judged either positively or negatively for my clothes, hair, weight, face, shoes or any other arbitrary nonsense.

“It’s a bit like having a superpower. Imagine all the shit I can fuck up whilst going completely unnoticed by the patriarchy. Maybe I’ll get together an army of similarly ‘invisible’ women to help me.

“The world isn’t going to know what’s hit it.”

Friday 28 November Independence Day in Panama

Though home to indigenous tribes, Panama came under Spanish control with the arrival of settlers in the 16th century. From 1538 until 1821 Panama was governed as part of the Viceroyalty of Peru.

The strategic position of Panama made the area one of the wealthiest and prestigious in the region. This helped to forge a sense of pride in a national identity quite early on amongst the new generations of settlers.

With the independence movements that was sweeping across this part of the Americas at that time, the hand of the Panamanian independence movement was forced when a small town called Villa de Los Santos, who made the first cry of independence on November 10th 1821. This key event in Panama’s history is also marked with a public holiday in Panama.

On 28 November, at an open town meeting, Panama was declared a sovereign entity and become independent from Spain. Fearing reprisals from Spain, the region sought protection and became a department within the Republic of Greater Colombia.

Thursday 27 November US Thanksgiving around the world

The American tradition of Thanksgiving dates back to 1621 when the pilgrims gave thanks for their first bountiful harvest in Plymouth Rock. The settlers had arrived in November 1620, founding the first permanent English settlement in the New England region.

After barely surviving their first winter, the pilgrims encountered Squanto, who taught them to grow corn, identify poisonous plants, and catch fish.

November of 1621 was the pilgrims’ first successful harvest, and Governor William Bradford invited nearby Native American allies for a feast. This first Thanksgiving was celebrated for three days, with the settlers feasting with the natives on dried fruits, boiled pumpkin, turkey, venison and much more.

The celebration, however, was not repeated until many years later, when in 1789 George Washington proclaimed Thanksgiving to be a national holiday on Thursday November 26th that year – setting the precedent of the last Thursday in November. Despite this, the holiday was celebrated on different days from state to state and Thomas Jefferson later did away with the holiday.

New York was the first state to officially adopt an annual Thanksgiving holiday, in 1817.

Thanksgiving didn’t become a nationwide holiday until President Lincoln proclaimed the last Thursday in November a national day of Thanksgiving in 1863. Every year following, the President proclaimed a day of Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving was switched from the final Thursday in November to the next-to-last Thursday in November by President Roosevelt in 1939 as he wanted to create a longer Christmas shopping period to simulate the economy which was still recovering after the Great Depression.

This decision was heavily opposed, and was termed “Franksgiving”. It caused widespread confusion with many states ignoring the change until Congress sanctioned the fourth Thursday in November as a legal holiday in 1941.

Sarah Josepha Hale, writer of ‘Mary Had a Little Lamb’, led a 17 year campaign to get Thanksgiving declared a national holiday. Many letters she sent in that time were ignored, but a letter to Abraham Lincoln finally convinced him to declare Thanksgiving as a holiday in 1863.

The Plymouth settlers did not refer to themselves as ‘Pilgrims’. The majority of the settlers were dissidents who had broken away from the Church of England. They would have called themselves ‘separatists’ or ‘puritans’. It was not until about 100 years later that the term ‘Pilgrims’ started to be commonly used to refer to the settlers.

Middle-aged man still wearing blue because blue is for boys

THE fashion decisions of a 48-year-old man are still dictated by his belief that blue is for boys and all other colours are troublingly feminine.

Joe, not his real name, of Leeds, owns 18 polo shirts that range from powder blue to navy blue to slightly darker navy blue and admits other colours leave him feeling confused about gender.

He said: “I was brought up to believe blue meant boy and pink meant girl. End of. I don’t know why other blokes think it’s acceptable to sport colours like orange and burgundy.

“I’m all for expressing your identity, but where does it end? One day you’re wearing a purple T-shirt, the next you’re talking about your feelings. It’s a slippery slope.”

Wife Ellie, not her real name, said: “I bought him a forest green jacket for his birthday and he got really weird about it and said he felt like he was in Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.

“The one time I got him into a maroon V-neck he looked awkward and uncomfortable all evening, like one of those dogs forced to wear a little raincoat.”

Joe insists he is not insecure, just a ‘colour traditionalist’, adding: “These so-called modern men in salmon shorts keep telling me colours don’t have gender. But if that’s true, why is the pink Power Ranger a girl?”

Wednesday 26 November Repentance Day in Saxony

The tradition of a fast as repentance or penance is said to have come from the Book of Jonah in the Bible when the city of Nineveh fasted to appease god at the behest of the Prophet Jonah. Certainly, it was a popular custom that took hold in mediaeval Europe with a seemingly never-ending supply of wars, famines and plagues offering plenty of opportunities to seek divine help.

Switzerland still observes a public holiday for these fasts, showing their usual penchant for organising things by rounding them up into the single all-denomination Federal Fast.

The first official day of prayer in Germany, scheduled by Emperor Charles V, was observed in 1532 by Protestants in the Holy Roman Empire in Strasbourg to address the Ottoman invasion taking place at the eastern border of the Empire.

Repentance Day was a public holiday all across Germany from 1934 to 1995, when it was cancelled in all states across the country (except Saxony) in order to finance nursing care insurance. Saxony decided to keep the holiday and instead raise labour revenues to fund the insurance.

During the second world war, it was celebrated on the Sunday after its usual date to reduce the number of non-working days and its effect on the war effort.

It is a school holiday in Bavaria. In Berlin, Protestant students can decide for themselves whether or not to attend school on the day of prayer.

If you were planning to go watch Bayern Munich play football, then head on a club to dance the night away, think again – as dancing from 2am until midnight and sporting events are banned on the Day of Repentance in Bavaria.

Tuesday 25 November Statehood Day in Federation of B&H

When the Kingdom of Yugoslavia was occupied during the second world war, control was divided between Germany, Italy, Hungary, and Bulgaria.

The Partisan resistance to the occupiers was led by the Communist Party of Yugoslavia who galvanized support from all parts of the nation. In November 1942, the Anti-Fascist Council of National Liberation of Yugoslavia was convened by Josip Broz Tito.

The first-ever session of the State Anti-fascist Council for the National Liberation of Bosnia and Herzegovina, as the highest political representative body of Bosnia and Herzegovina, was held in Mrkonjić Grad on November 25th and 26th 1943. They elected their representatives to participate in the second Anti-Fascist Council of National Liberation of Yugoslavia in the Bosnian town of Jajce. 

At this council meeting, on November 29th a decision was made on how Yugoslavia would operate after the war. There was to be a federal Yugoslavia based on the right of self-determination of the people – Serbs, Croats, Slovenes, Montenegrins, and Macedonians – who would live in six constituent republics with equal rights. The council declared Bosnia and Herzegovina to be an equal community of Muslims (Bosniaks), Serbs, and Croats.

The Federation of Bosnia and Herzegovina’s  Ministry of Labor and Social Policy informs the public that the Law on the Proclamation of November 25 as the Statehood Day of the Republic of Bosnia and Herzegovina stipulates that the Statehood Day of Bosnia and Herzegovina is a national holiday, and on that day state bodies, enterprises and other legal entities will not work.

Accordingly, November 25 – Statehood Day of Bosnia and Herzegovina is celebrated as a national holiday only one day on the day of the national holiday, and will be a non-working day.

Monday 24 November Day of National Sovereignty in Argentina

The holiday commemorates the Battle of Vuelta de Obligado which took place on November 20th 1845 when the Argentine Confederation fought against an Anglo-French navy in the Battle of Vuelta de Obligado, during the Anglo-French blockade of the Río de la Plata.

The Argentine Confederation lost the battle, but there is a saying ‘lose the battle but win the war’ and this was true in this case. Despite the victory, the British and French suffered such heavy losses that the battle brought them to negotiate a treaty with Juan Manuel de Rosas, the Governor of Buenos Aires.

The battle was seen as a key event as it had been triggered by Argentine efforts to protect regional industries from colonial powers in the region by raising trading tariffs and efforts by de Rosas to get Uruguay and Paraguay to join the confederation antagonised the French and British and led to the battle.

November 20th has been nationally observed as the Day of National Sovereignty since 1974, but the fourth Monday only became a national holiday in 2010.

Teen wearing Middle Eastern neck scarf really putting society in its place

A TEENAGER has forced society to reflect on its shortcomings and hypocrisies by wearing a keffiyeh neck scarf.

Joshua, not his real name, 17, has issued a damning indictment on the state of the world by stepping out in a patterned neck scarf with tassels that clearly singles him out as a free-thinking radical.

He said: “People usually wear this kind of scarf in the desert, yet here I am rocking it in Plymouth. Take that, societal expectations.

“I could have wrapped a normal scarf around my neck and done a better job of protecting myself from the cold. But then how would everyone know I’ve skim-read The Communist Manifesto Wikipedia page?

“By wearing this scarf I’m showing everyone I’m a Che Guevara-esque revolutionary. Although instead of overthrowing a dictator with guerilla warfare, I’m off to get the bus and browse the £1 DVDs in CEX. Assuming mum gives me a tenner.

“If enough people see me I reckon this sick capitalist system should come crashing down by dinnertime. Which works for me because I’m broke and can’t be bothered to get a job.”

Passer-by Jack Browne said: “I was a normal, functioning member of society until I saw Josh’s scarf. Now I’m off to petrol bomb a bank.”

Sunday 23 November Seng Kut Snem in Meghalaya India

The Khasi people are the indigenous people of Meghalaya and are the largest ethnic group in the state.

Seng Kut Snem is the day before Khasi New Year, which traditionally takes place on November 24th.

The Khasi calendar is based on the change of the four seasons, known indigenously as ‘Saw Samoi’ – winter, spring, summer and autumn as defined by the crops sown and harvested and influenced by climatic changes, rain and phases of the moon.

While the Khasi people were under the control of the British Empire in 1899, 16 nationalist Khasi youths formed the Seng Khasi to protect their indigenous religion, rich culture and unique language. This was just one in a series of acts of defiance against British rule by the Khasi.

Since then, the movement has gained momentum helping the Khasi people take pride in their unique and rich heritage.

Today Seng Kut Snem serves a dual purpose of marking the end of the year with a tradition thanksgiving festival and also a day when the Seng Khasi celebrate the culture, faith and history of the Khasi.

The festival is marked by speeches and also includes traditional games, folk dances, cultural festivals, and displays of handmade products.

Old people mainly miserable and boring, young report

A NEW survey has found that despite their reputation for cuddly chat and homespun wisdom, the majority of those aged 60 or over are glum, boring moaners.

Research found that socialising with elders had far fewer moments of twinkle-eyed cross-generational bonding than expected, and far more pointless reminiscences, complaints about medical conditions and staring grimly at daytime television.

29-year-old Tom, not his real name, said: “My grandfather thinks I should be interested in everything he says because of his ‘experience’. He spent 45 years doing accounts for self-employed contractors in Barnsley.  Experience of what? Tax returns pre-decimalisation?

“His first house cost the same as a second-hand microwave does now, his ‘funny’ work stories would easily double up as testimony at a tribunal, and apparently his triple-locked pension doesn’t stretch to giving me more than two custard creams.”

Carolyn, not her real name, aged 35, agreed: “People venerate the old because not long ago they were all WWII veterans who saved the world from Hitler. Not anymore. Now they’re mostly boomers who still think the 60s went too far on women’s rights.

“They’ve contributed bugger all except for Brexit, and the only wisdom they can impart is how to hill-start a Morris Traveller which is not currently relevant. They can piss off.”

86-year-old Roy, not his real name, said: “We’re not boring, we’ve got loads of stories. Did I ever tell you about when petrol was 40p a gallon? Because it was.”

Saturday 22 November Alphabet Day in Albania

In November 2023, Prime Minister Edi Rama, in his speech at the Diaspora Summit in Tirana, said that November 22nd, Alphabet Day, will be a national holiday in Albania, as it is for Albanians in North Macedonia.

Rama advised the President of Kosovo, Vjosa Omani, to suggest the same to her Prime Minister in Kosovo.

“It is the strength of one man, Arbën Xhaferri, who had the vision for Alphabet Day, November 22, to be a day known as a national holiday for Albanians in North Macedonia, and I think now is the day that Alphabet Day, which unites us all, to be a national holiday in Albania as well. And I definitely believe that the president of Kosovo will give this suggestion to his prime minister. I listen to the president for myself”, said Rama.

An official holiday for the administration has been added. The Minister of Foreign Affairs, Ilgi Hasani, in a media conference after the government meeting, announced that the Council of Ministers will propose to the Parliament that November 22 be declared as Alphabet Day.

Minister Hasani stated that November 22nd has special symbolism and specifies the greatest unifying moment of Albanians.

“An amendment to the law on national holidays and memorial days will be approved. The Council of Ministers is proposing to the Parliament the addition of the alphabet day as one of our national holidays. It is a day with special symbolism.

November 22nd specifies the greatest unifying moment of the Albanians, who are scattered in all the countries of the Balkans, and unites their language,” said Foreign Minister Igli Hasani.

Albanian Alphabet Day commemorates the anniversary of the Congress of Manastir, held in the city of Manastir from November 14 to 22, 1908. The goal of this congress was standardizing the Albanian alphabet and eliminating the representation of the language by a combination of six different alphabets and a number of their sub-variants.

The Congress adopted the current Albanian alphabet, consisting of 29 consonants and 7 vowels. 9 letters of the alphabet are digraphs and 2 more are represented with diacritics. The letter W is used only in the borrowed words.

Tired all the time? Have you considered shutting up about it

ARE you tired all the time? Doctors believe they have hit upon the incredible solution of you shutting the f**k up about it.

Deluged with thousands of patients complaining of tiredness, usually those in mid-life with small children, demanding jobs and lengthy commutes, the medical profession has focused its efforts on the issue and developed a radical new treatment: silence.

Dr Helen, her real name, said: “It’s an epidemic. Some days, every other patient I saw was complaining of TATT. We had to act decisively so we could see people with real problems.

“We’d tried diet, we’d tried vitamins, we’d tried anti-depressants and still the same whingers kept coming back as if fatigue was a condition I could fix with a pill if I just tried hard enough. Finally, in desperation, I prescribed a course of shutting up.

“The results were remarkable. It felt like a burden was lifted. And the patient’s family, friends and co-workers all said the same. Even the patient themselves, when expressly forbidden to bang on about how uniquely tired they are, had no complaints.

“It’s possible they even feel less tired. Who knows? The rest of us don’t have to anymore, which qualifies this as a miracle cure.”

Sufferer Thomas, not his real name, of Exeter said: “But now I’m forced to talk about subjects other people are interested in, like films or the weather. And that’s agonising for me.”

Friday 21 November Dignity and Freedom Day in Ukraine

This public holiday was established by President Petro Poroshenko in November 2014.

It is intended to mark two key events in recent Ukrainian history, the 2004 ‘Orange Revolution’ and the 2013 ”Revolution of Dignity’.

The Orange Revolution was a series of protests in response to the outcome of the run-off vote of the 2004 Ukrainian presidential election which was seen to have be compromised by electoral fraud. The protests led to an annulment of the original run-off result and a second vote took place in December 2004, resulting in a victory for Victor Yushchenko.

The Revolution of Dignity or Euromaidan demonstrations began on November 21st 2013 in the Ukrainian capital Kiev following the Ukrainian government’s decision to suspend preparations for signing the Ukraine–European Union Association Agreement with the European Union, instead seeking closer economic relations with Russia.

The protests lasted until February 2014 and turned violent with the unarmed protesters and several policemen losing their lives. An agreement was reached after the violence with the government making concessions to the protestors. Despite these concessions, at the end of February 2014, President Viktor Yanukovych and his government fled the country with Oleksandr Turchynov becoming the Acting President.

In signing the decree for the Day of Dignity and Freedom in 2016, President said “Ukraine is the territory of dignity and freedom originated from two revolutions – our Maidan of 2004, which was the Holiday of Freedom, and the Revolution of 2013, the Revolution of Dignity. It was an extremely difficult challenge for Ukraine, when Ukrainians demonstrated their Europeanness, dignity and desire for freedom. As President of Ukraine, I must documentarily attest it and sign the Decree on the Day of Dignity and Freedom that will be celebrated by Ukrainians on November 21st from here to eternity”.

Thursday 20 November Black Awareness Day in Brazil

November 20th was chosen by a group of activists from Grupo Palmares, which held an event in 1971 at Clube Nutico Marclio Dias, in Porto Alegre, Rio Grande do Sul, to honour ‘Zumbi’, a legendary black hero and freedom fighter.

Zumbi was born inside the Quilombo of Palmares, the largest colony of escaped slaves in Brazil in 1655.

The colony not only consisted of escaped African slaves but also of native Brazilian Indians and other mixed races.

The colony had a government system that organised similarly to an African Kingdom with a King and Assembly. The King was chosen from the best warriors. “Zumbi” was chosen this way and under his leadership, the colony fought bravely for 65 years against colonisers from Portugal and Holland and was finally destroyed in 1694.

Zumbi managed to escape from the colony and many believed that he was immortal. He was finally captured on November 20th 1695. He was immediately beheaded and his head was put on public display to convince the locals he was not immortal.

Nowadays “Zumbi” is regarded as a national hero and a symbol of the struggle for freedom, though there are some dissenting voices who think Zumbi is not the right figurehead for this day as he is said to have kept slaves himself.

What your girlfriend is looking at on her phone vs what she’s telling you

PARTNER endlessly scrolling on her mobile? Ever wondered if she’s being entirely honest about what she’s looking at? Here’s the uncomfortable truth.

‘Just catching up on Insta, babe’

It’s Tinder. She’s not that into you and knows it won’t last, so she’s keeping her options open. Unlike you, who thinks you’ve found the love of your life and recently asked her to move in. That romantic marriage proposal you’re meticulously planning won’t end well either. It all feels so unfair, but at least she’s having to swipe through thousands of absolute twats.

‘Just catching up on the news’

By which she means stalking your presence on her friends’ social media profiles. She bloody well knows you fancy Sally, and if there’s a single heart emoji on any of her Facebook profile pictures she’ll find it and you’ll be in the shit. You’ll protest your innocence – too bad you’ve forgotten scrolling while shitfaced a fortnight ago and leaving a heart and three wows on four of her pics.

‘Nothing much, just browsing’

Online shopping. There will be a tsunami of Vinted parcels delivered over the next fortnight, which she’s syphoned the cash for from that joint savings account you set up for a holiday to Greece next summer. Which she knows you won’t be going on, because she’s planning to dump you right after Christmas once she’s had your presents.

‘Just my sister texting again’

The sister who works in her office and is called Niall? He’s been sending her interesting, friendly texts slightly too consistently for it to be innocent. As a man you can instantly spot his ulterior motives, but you can’t really admit to having done exactly the same thing yourself, particularly as it reminds you of not having much success.

‘Aww, this video of a kitten, it’s sooo cute!’

Tragically, she’s telling the truth. Tragic because she’s about to sit next to you and force you to watch it, right in the middle of Match of the Day. You’ll be obliged to feign interest and avert your eyes from the TV just as your team scores that 89th minute winner against United. And the kitten wasn’t even one of those super-adorable fluffy ones anyway.

Wednesday 19 November National Day in Oman

Soon after Vasco da Gama’s voyage around the Cape of Good Hope to India, the Portuguese arrived in Oman, occupying the region from 1507. The Portuguese fortified Muscat as used the town as a port from which to protect their trade routes to India.

Unhappy with how they felt the Portuguese were exploiting their presence in Oman, the powerful Al-Ya’ribi clan agreed to a treaty with the British East India Company to allow the British to have rights in their ports. This weakened Portuguese control in Oman, and on November 18th 1650, Imam Sultan Bin Saif led a rebellion that expelled the Portuguese from Oman and its ports.

The independence from Portugal in 1650 means that Oman is the oldest independent state in the Arab world.

To mark the day, students sing the national anthem of Oman, known as-Salâm as-Solṭâni.

National Day events include parades, fireworks, camel races, an equestrian show, a marine festival and once every five years, a military show. The two-day holiday means that many Omanis will take the opportunity to return to their home villages which means that traffic levels on these days may be much heavier than usual.