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Aaron Sorkin’s “The Social Reckoning,” a sequel to 2010’s David Fincher-directed “The Social Network,” is hitting theaters as part of a surge of tech geek takedowns that includes documentaries on Elon Musk and Theranos’ Elizabeth Holmes, as well as Luca Guadagnino’s upcoming comedy “Artificial” about OpenAI’s Sam Altman.

Still, its timing couldn’t be worse.

Cursory and hollow, it recounts the true story of Wall Street Journal reporter Jeff Horwitz (Jeremy Allen White) and Facebook whistleblower Frances Haugen (Mikey Madison), a disenchanted data engineer on the company’s civic integrity team, who paired up for a 17-part investigative series that provided proof of what people already sensed: Facebook boosted misinformation and rage-bait to juice user engagement at the cost of our country’s mental health.

The script ends shortly after Haugen testified before Congress in October 2021, noting that the carpet in her waiting room had recently been swapped out because of bloodstains from the Jan. 6 Capitol attack. The film rewinds to that day, too, and attempts to squeeze drama from slow-motion reenactments of the rioters, which Alexandre Desplat scores to an overbearing military dirge as Mark Zuckerberg (Jeremy Strong) and his good little Facebook soldiers mull over whether to take down the U.S. president’s incendiary posts.

Back in our own reality, Zuckerberg and the president just had lunch last week. At this point, we’re all so psychically drained that the only response we can muster to this vacant period piece is: So what?

Sorkin has my sympathies. The future moves faster than a film in development. And he fundamentally gets the peril we’ve put ourselves in by entrusting Zuckerberg, who is, at minimum, an ethically askew man. After all, Sorkin’s own screenplay for “The Social Network” remains a prescient masterpiece.

But the movie’s problems go beyond arriving simultaneously too slowly and too soon for Zuckerberg’s endgame, where his emptying social media empire has him gambling his fortunes (and ours) on AI. Expanding his scope from Harvard to the planet, Sorkin now aims to show that we’re all trapped in Zuckerberg’s insensitive mind view. Cold computer speak has infected everyone like a virus. When Madison’s Frances goes on a blind date, her online match says he appreciates that the internet makes it simpler for singles to pair up “within their own vector.” The buddy-buddy Winkelvoss twins’ version of the app might actually have been better for the world.

Meanwhile, Zuckerberg, who mostly stays on the sidelines of the movie, is now a mighty billionaire and, as Strong plays him, a dour, lifeless dork. Gone are the beer bashes, the thrill of invention and any hint that Zuckerberg lusted for something — women, attention, clout — other than a quarterly earnings report. This Zuckerberg is no longer made of flesh and blood but ones and zeros. Pity Strong couldn’t play the CEO after his bro-y 2024 mutation into MMA-fighting Marky Mark. At least that guy is amusingly ridiculous. Trapped in this stiffer, earlier incarnation, the only acting Strong is able to do is poke his head straight up from his shoulders until he resembles a retractable pen.

Worse, all the other characters in the film talk just like him: charmless, frigid and quick to cut each other off with snippy corrections. I could forgive that if it was just Facebook’s employees: Madison’s quavering, exasperated Frances, the co-worker (Anna Lambe) who insists she and Frances are merely colleagues, not friends, even after their company frittered away the meaning of the word, and a media relations executive (a smooth Billy Magnussen) who gets the scariest line, coolly insisting that “we’re post-government around here.” After all, these are the folks who saw “The Social Network” and still wanted to work for Zuckerberg.

But the opposition is steeped in that same monotone rudeness. Sorkin must have adored that earlier film’s opening scene where Rooney Mara insults a clueless Jesse Eisenberg because he’s written three-dozen takes on it. At Sorkin’s version of the Wall Street Journal, everyone up and down the masthead — editors, writers, even interns — insults each other with such relish that someone should be written up by HR. The fast-and-furious dialogue hits its nadir when Madison’s Frances slips Jeff important documents that he can’t even read because she nonsensically starts chattering about the looming coronavirus.

Here’s where you say that this is just how Sorkin writes characters. And here’s where I counter that a movie about how algorithms destroy humanity has to have some credible humans in it, if only to illustrate its own point.

Instead, Sorkin’s protagonist-bots come with bolted-on personality quirks. White’s journalist is a Luddite who would rather be late to his own job interview than use Google Maps. He comes across as so clueless that the audience can barely credit him for his reporting work winning an eventual Pulitzer — he’s just soulful eyes and a cellphone ringtone that tinkles old show tunes.

Madison, 15 years the junior of the real Frances, is too young to convince us that her character truly believes she can turn Facebook into a digital utopia. An ultra-online 20-something, she was a front row witness to Gamergate, yet somehow she’s shocked to overhear about middle-school girls getting bullied on Instagram. Her character wears legwarmers and knit wristlets to the office as protection against the air conditioning, which also serves to emphasize her company’s interpersonal chill.

Yet, bizarrely, the script makes Frances dress like a sex worker whenever she sneaks to Jeff’s hotel to slip him some corporate secrets. It’s a disguise, she explains, although the gag is so forced that it’s just as easy to believe the literal-minded girl is taking her Deep Throat identity too seriously. Or perhaps Sorkin just wanted to remind audiences that this awkward creature is the same actor who won the Oscar stripping off in “Anora.”

A few moments do work, like an opening showdown between a drunk blond (a nasty-great Portia Doubleday) and two cops that gets live-streamed to the web, and Zuckerberg’s congressional coaching sessions with his crisis team, played by Wunmi Mosaku and the comedian Bill Burr. From what we learn of Burr’s Charlie Garrigan, an insider who sold his Facebook stock too fast and then wrote a negative New York Times editorial against the company, he seems to be inspired by early co-founder Christopher Hughes, which would made him the only other callback character from “The Social Network.” But Sorkin has changed his name and upped his age, so as fun and ferocious as Burr is, we also spend his scenes feeling a little confused.

Do we learn anything new about Facebook itself? No. Still, I appreciated how dismissive Frances gets when asked to confirm small scandals that she finds too piddly to care about, like Jeff’s suspicion that Zuckerberg is goosing his posts so that positive comments outrank negative ones 32 to 1. That’s just obvious, her posture says. Facebook is over two decades old and he still hasn’t made many friends.

LIKE many, I have longed for a Rimowa suitcase, but the brand’s premium prices puts it out of my price range.

I simply can’t justify spending over £1000 on a suitcase, so I was understandably thrilled when I spotted the same luxe aesthetic for just £60 at Dunelm.

Constellation Cabin Suitcase with Front Opening, £60 at Dunelm

The Constellation Silver Cabin Case caught my eye with its sleek silver finish and modern linear hard shell, which gives it a similar, minimalist look to the iconic Rimowa cases.

Like Rimowa, it also has a durable construction with a hard shell protecting the contents, while looking stylish in the Arrivals hall.

It also comes with a 360-degree spinner wheel system, meaning you can glide it along in pretty much any direction.

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But there’s one particular feature that makes it extra appealing to modern travellers like me.

The front-opening opening offers speedy access to your tech essentials, so you don’t have to disturb your perfectly packed suitcase as you’re going through security.

As someone who travels with a laptop, I think that’s actually more useful than simply having a suitcase that looks pretty.

In terms of size, the Constellation Cabin Suitcase measures 55 x 35 x 22cm, including its overall product dimensions, while the Rimowa Original Cabin is 55 x 40 x 23cm.

While they’re the same height, Dunelm’s case is 5cm narrower and 1cm shallower, making it the more compact option.

You’re getting the sleek minimal aesthetic, hard shell construction, 360-degree wheels and a clever tech compartment for £60 rather than £1,090, pocketing £1030 in savings.

With half-term around the corner, this is the sort of cabin case I’d be looking at for a short family break or a European mini break.

Will it meet airline luggage rules?

Before buying, check your airline’s free cabin-bag allowance.

The Dunelm case fits Jet2 and British Airways’ larger 56 x 45 x 25cm allowance, but it won’t be free on every airline or fit under the seat in front.

If you’re looking for underseat bags that nail the designer look, I’ve rounded up some alternatives below.

CabinMax Underseat Cabin Suitcase, £39.95 at ASOS

What’s it good for? Weekend getaways, short city breaks, or business trips where you don’t need multiple outfits or heavy layers.

What you’ll like? It has wide suitcase-style opening, so you don’t have to dig through from the top like a regular backpack.

The Mykonos Hard Shell Vanity Case, £30 at M&S

What’s it good for? Carrying delicate toiletries without worrying about leaks or crushed packaging.

It could also work as a sleek standalone bag for overnight trips if you travel light.

What you’ll like? It has an elasticated rear trolley strap that slips over telescoping suitcase handles for effortless, one-handed wheeling.

Now, these suitcases aren’t Rimowa, so you won’t get the same premium branding, construction or engineering.

But if, like me, you’re mainly after the chic silver aesthetic and some of the practical features seen in expensive luggage, they’re a tempting alternative.

If you’ve had a Rimowa suitcase on your wishlist but can’t swallow the £1,090 price tag, my Dunelm find could be the more purse-friendly alternative.

If you are looking for more dupe deals, you need to read; Our favourite Dyson Airwrap alternatives in the Prime Day sale – including ‘amazing’ 4-in-1 styler down to just £37 and Dunelm launches mushroom lamp alternative to John Lewis version.

Friday is Dolly Parton Day and the late country icon remains a gift that keeps on giving.

Just months before her death in August at age 80, Parton had recorded a duet with Bono that will be included in U2’s upcoming album, “Carnaval de Luz,” the band announced Thursday. It is reportedly her final recording.

“When she got ill … she got out of her bed to sing this song. And you can hear that,” Bono told Rolling Stone. “And I can’t even listen to it now.”

The Irish singer told the outlet that he had approached Parton to ask her to collaborate on a different side project inspired by Irish folk music. She ultimately turned down that request for being “a little too Irish” for her, but countered by offering Bono one of her songs, titled “Torn,” to see if he could “take it somewhere else, maybe.”

According to Bono, he and Snow Patrol’s Johnny McDaid rewrote the lyrics and Parton agreed to sing that version. Parton shares writing credits for the track with members of U2 and McDaid.

“She sang her heart out,” Bono said. “And I cannot believe that’s an 80-year-old woman.”

“Torn,” which features lyrics around a mother who is watching her family get torn apart, will be the closing track of “Carnaval de Luz,” which will be released Nov. 13.

Parton was reportedly able to listen to the final mix of the song to give her approval.

“Dolly loved it,” the album’s producer, Garret “Jacknife” Lee, told Rolling Stone. “She was so proud of her vocal and the recording. She was thrilled with it. We were very nervous that she might not approve, or would be uncomfortable with it, but she loved it.”

For fans that can’t wait until November, 20th Century Studios and Disney on Friday announced that a newly restored version of “9 to 5” will hit theaters for a special week-long run in October. Proceeds from ticket sales to see the workplace comedy from Oct. 9 to 15 will be donated to the Dollywood Foundation to support Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library.

The announcement was made to commemorate “Give Like Dolly Day,” established by the Dollywood Foundation and also observed on Friday in Parton’s honor.

And other companies are trying to address privacy concerns in different ways – without getting rid of the camera.

The Taiwanese firm HTC recently launched Vive Eagle glasses, which cost less than a quarter of Snap’s.

Thomas Dexmier, a vice president at HTC Vive, says that if anyone near an Eagle specs wearer says “stop filming” or “stop recording”, and it is picked up by one of the four microphones, the camera will deactivate.

And he adds that all recordings captured by the glasses are encrypted, and the firm itself cannot see them – though this also means HTC cannot flag harmful content.

“We acknowledge that there are some challenges, potentially becoming a real problem, especially for women,” he said.

He said HTC Vive was working to make it as difficult as possible for the tech to be misused but said it was “too early to comment” on whether the firm would consider a version without cameras.

Ultimately, Wood thinks that camera-enabled glasses are “not going away”.

He says the current moment reminds him of the 2000s, when some people said that mobile phone companies couldn’t install cameras in their devices because of similar concerns over privacy. “There’s an inevitability there,” he says.

“We will have to find a societal norm, a framework for the use of these products.”

Top image credit: Getty.

“WHO sang Bat Out Of Hell? Was it: A, Meatballs; B, Tom Jones; C . . . ?”

“A!” shouts my partner Sophie, and I duly push the button.

Speed, you see, is key to this quiz.

But, then again, so is the right answer.

We are aboard Tui’s Aria for its Dutch Delta Discovery sailing, taking in the waterways and canals of the Netherlands and Belgium.

And the quiz we are playing, where each team has a handset to record and time their answers, is just a small part of the nightly entertainment.

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Other fun includes cabaret, themed dance nights and musical bingo. And one of the joys is how laid-back it all is compared to the more glitzy shows of the huge ocean-going liners.

But while Aria, one of Tui’s quaint ships designed specially for river waterways, was significantly smaller than any ocean liner, it wasn’t less comfy.

With 96 cabins and enough room for 200 passengers, it feels spacious throughout.

There are two main communal areas: the bright Observatory Bar & Lounge on deck three, with floor-to-ceiling windows, and Verdastro restaurant below for plentiful breakfasts, lunches and dinners.

There is also a pool, covered at night to become the Reflections Italian restaurant.

The main package is Full Board Plus, which includes three meals a day and selected drinks, including wine and beer, with lunch and dinner.

And although you may not have a choice of restaurant every night, the changing menu covered all tastes, with elegant dishes of beef wellington, artichoke souffle and a fresh catch of the day.

Our cabin was large, with plenty of storage and huge glass doors from which to watch the river banks pass by. A daily joy was throwing back the curtains to see what port we had woken up in.

We began our six-night journey in Amsterdam then stopped in Rotterdam, Veere, Ghent and Antwerp before circling back to our starting point. Our favourite was perhaps Rotterdam, the Netherlands’ second city.

It’s built along the river and 99 per cent of the buildings on the north bank were flattened in 15 minutes during a World War Two bombing raid.

It was rebuilt from the Fifties onward and is known for its unusual architecture.

One example is the Cube House development, an eccentric array of 38 bright yellow, cube-shaped houses connected together at stark angles in the sky.

They look like they would be awkward to live in. But don’t just ponder on it from the outside. If you want to find out what it’s like inside, you can tour one for 3.50 euro — and it’s great value.

Aside from the architecture, a major reason Rotterdam delighted Sophie and me was because it was one of the two times we took advantage of the daily guided trips put on by Tui.

The trip was actually a 20-minute taxi boat ride away in Kinderdijk, home to 19 historic windmills from the 1700s.

Now, I knew the Netherlands was famous for windmills, but I was surprised to learn their purpose was not for grinding wheat — but as an ingenious water-management system.

With much of the country reclaimed from marshland, and below sea level, it is prone to flooding when heavy rains swell rivers and overwhelm drainage ditches.

To get round this, the windmills had huge wheels with paddles to scoop out the water from ditches and chuck it into a storage reservoir, which could then be let out into the rivers and sea.

But this aside, they are easy on the eye and it all feels so very Dutch.

If outdoor time is a big selling point for you, then you’ll love Veere in Zeeland (the next call on our trip), which is the region of islands and peninsulas that make up the west of the Netherlands.

If you feel energetic, I’d recommend hiring bikes for a scoot around the very flat landscape. There are lots of cycle lanes, which take you through gorgeous nature reserves and past vast lakes.

You can reward your efforts at the next port of call, Ghent in Belgium, as you sample beer, sausage and cheese on another Tui tour.

Ghent is a medieval gem with cobbled streets lined by fascinating, old-world buildings. It was so easy to immerse ourselves that we almost missed the boat before it set sail.

There’s no need to panic if you struggle to remember those daily timings, though. Tui’s own Navigate app will keep you up to date with the schedule and you can also use it to check menus or book trips.

With our cruise nearing an end, it was back to Amsterdam, a city renowned for its canals and laidback cafes.

You can’t run out of things to do but, in our short time, we opted to visit the Anne Frank Museum. Make sure you book it as soon as you pay for the cruise as you have to reserve weeks in advance.

The secret annex that hid Anne and her family from the Nazis is accessed through a doorway concealed by a movable bookcase. It is a sombre experience climbing into the hideout but a powerful reminder of one of history’s greatest terrors.

It left us feeling even more grateful for the evening feast we were about to tuck into back on board Aria.

A cheeseboard was a definite — I just wonder if they have any Meatloaf.