Swim

WASHINGTON — The Pentagon issued an apology Tuesday for remarks made by Gen. Carl E. Mundy Jr., commandant of the Marine Corps, who said in a televised interview that black officers and those of other minority groups do not shoot, swim or read compasses as well as whites.

In a statement to reporters, Navy Capt. Michael Doubleday said that Mundy “regrets any offense that may have been taken by his statements,” which were televised Sunday on the CBS program “60 Minutes” as part of a segment on problems minority officers have receiving promotions.

Mundy’s comments on “60 Minutes” marked the third time this year that the commandant has caused a stir. In mid-August, the general abruptly issued orders that would have barred married persons from enlisting in the Marines. He was forced to rescind them immediately after a protest by the President.

Earlier, Mundy angered the Administration by vigorously opposing Clinton’s plan to lift the ban on homosexuals in the military. And he only grudgingly supported the resulting compromise “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy that allows gays to serve but restricts their behavior.

Asked about the latest incident, Doubleday said that top Pentagon officials had no plans to discipline Mundy for his comments but added that, partly as a result, Navy Secretary John H. Dalton had ordered a complete review of minority promotions in the Navy and Marine Corps.

Dalton “would like to see more minorities in positions of leadership” in the Navy and Marine Corps and wants the study “to examine the process and to determine how we can achieve that objective,” Doubleday said.

A spokesman for California Rep. Ronald V. Dellums (D-Oakland), chairman of the House Armed Services Committee, said it was unclear whether the lawmaker would want to meet with Mundy over the incident. Dellums, who is black, plans hearings later this year on racism in the military.

Mundy’s remarks on “60 Minutes” were contained in a transcript provided by the Pentagon. Asked why some minority officers complain that they are not being promoted rapidly, the general said it “has to do with performance.”

“In the military skills, we find that the minority officers do not shoot as well as the non-minorities . . .,” he said. “They don’t swim as well. And when you give them a compass and send them across the terrain at night . . . they don’t do as well at that sort of thing.

“I’m saying that there are problems that we have got to identify that will show us what it is that causes us to promote at a reduced rate,” the general went on, in a brief segment on the program. “It is not intended that we do that.”

Doubleday said Tuesday that Mundy was referring only to the “objective test scores achieved in certain skills during initial entry-level training” and did not mean to suggest that members of minority groups could not do well in the Corps.

“He (Mundy) would like to see more minorities in positions of leadership,” the Pentagon spokesman added.

And the Marines issued a statement saying that, because only part of the interview with Munday was telecast, “it may have sounded . . . that he was implying minorities have less innate ability . . . to fully develop their military capability through training and education.”

“That was not his intent or belief,” the statement went on.

“As an institution, the Marine Corps is totally committed for equal opportunity for all individuals to compete and advance through the ranks, and is aggressively pursuing initiatives to gain balance in our senior officer representation.”

White House officials said Tuesday that they had not been aware of Mundy’s comments but were looking into the matter.

Pentagon figures show that in fiscal 1991, there were 34,200 black enlisted men and women in the Marine Corps–19.7% of the total–and 980 black officers, or 5.1% of the service’s officer corps. Figures for Latinos and other minority groups were not immediately available.

Even though it was late October, I couldn’t help but feel jealous as I watched my best friend Jenny swim into the calm, clear water of the American River near downtown Sacramento.

I was in town to cheer Jenny on as she competed in a long-distance triathlon. Although the race was such a fun experience, that moment on that tree-lined river bank stuck with me. In my home state of Oklahoma, I regularly swam in lakes and kayaked and rafted in rivers. But freshwater recreational opportunities were harder to come by once I moved to L.A.

This all led me to wonder: Will it ever be safe to swim in the Los Angeles River?

A large white bird stands along the L.A. River in the Glendale Narrows area of the waterway near Elysian Valley a.k.a. Frogtown.

(Jaclyn Cosgrove / Los Angeles Times)

This felt like an especially relevant time to discuss this question, as Friends of the L.A. River will host its annual (free!) RiverFest this Sunday from 2:30 to 7:30 p.m. at L.A. State Historic Park in Chinatown. This year also marks the organization’s 40th birthday.

After reading this edition of The Wild, our weekly outdoors newsletter, I hope you feel as fired up as I do about how we can work toward a day when the answer to my question is “Yes!” But we aren’t there yet. Let’s explore why.

The L.A. River is a 51-mile waterway that flows from the confluence of Bell Creek and Arroyo Calabasas in Canoga Park, ending in Long Beach as it flows into San Pedro Bay near the Queen Mary.

Candice Dickens-Russell, chief executive at Friends of the L.A. River, told me that her organization’s founder spent decades trying to persuade Angelenos to understand that our local watercourse was not a manmade concrete flood channel but actually a river that has been surrounded by concrete.

“I’m feeling like we’re at a tipping point for people to understand that the L.A. River is really a river, which is wonderful because our founder spent his entire life trying to get people to understand that,” she said.

Channelization of the L.A. River started in the mid-1930s after a number of devastating floods and was completed in 1960.

In an early 1936 article, Times real estate editor Charles C. Cohan seemingly praised the channelizing of a nine-mile stretch of the river from Fletcher Drive westerly to Lankershim Boulevard, calling it “one of the greatest stream-channel transformations ever undertaken in the West.”

Ducks hang out in the Glendale Narrows area of the L.A. River.

(Jaclyn Cosgrove / Los Angeles Times)

Cohan went on to write: “Men and machinery directed by the United States Army engineers are changing that vitally important length of the river from an irresponsible water course into a far larger, thoroughly conditioned channel that will be a vitally important flood protection while at the time conforming to the well-ordered, picturesque region through which it passes.”

It didn’t have to be this way.

Before the devastating flooding of 1938, the Los Angeles Chamber of Commerce commissioned two major landscape architecture firms in 1927 to develop a report analyzing how the region could develop more parkland in an already park-poor city.

“The report imagined an ‘emerald necklace,’ an urban paradise of parks and rivers and open spaces and public beaches encircling L.A. County, and it also laid out the practical, political and financial mechanisms to make it happen,” Times columnist Patt Morrison wrote in May.

The Glendale Narrows area of the L.A. River.

(Jaclyn Cosgrove / Los Angeles Times)

The report’s authors wrote about how flood-prone land would make for better park space than business and residential developments, as anything built in these areas would inevitably be damaged during floods. The parks could also serve as their own kind of protection.

“Parkways along the river were intended to reduce the need for structural flood protection features,” according to a 2001 state report.

For political and financial reasons explored in the book “Eden by Design,” that plan was shelved and long forgotten after it was published in 1930. Around 1938, local officials worked with the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers to channelize the L.A. River, literally paving the way for what we experience today and what we’ve seen on film in everything from “Grease” to “Drive.”

In recent years, local groups have started advocating for a “rewilding” of the L.A. River, removing some level of concrete and instead using our natural environment and watershed as a means of flood control.

A large bird that appears to be a type of heron flies over the L.A. River.

(Jaclyn Cosgrove / Los Angeles Times)

“If we develop and retrofit land to capture water, we can reduce the intensity of flood waters and peel back concrete to enable all of the essential functions healthy rivers and soil provide,” according to the local nonprofit the River Project.

This would certainly also change the swimming experience to a much more natural opportunity, rather than feeling like you’re floating about in a large, flowing swimming pool.

The future of the river becoming swimmable, though, depends in large part on how much water is left for recreation, a complicated equation for officials to develop in a region constantly grappling with how to rely less on imported water.

A person rests in the shade of trees along the L.A. River.

(Jaclyn Cosgrove / Los Angeles Times)

Presently, the L.A. River is fed, in part, by rain and snowmelt in the wet months.

In the dry months, its main water source is three water reclamation plants that release tertiary treated water into the river. “These plants take all the wastewater from apartment buildings, houses and commercial operations and cleans it. Some of that water is used for irrigation at city parks and golf courses. Some feeds Lake Balboa,” my former Times colleague Deborah Netburn wrote in 2018. “But most of it — more than 30 million gallons each day — ends up in the river.”

Dickens-Russell of Friends of the L.A. River said for the last three years, she has sat alongside leaders from government agencies, local nonprofits and more to discern, among other things, just how much water our river needs. (For my fellow nerds who want to Google their hearts out, the full name of this effort is the Los Angeles River California Environmental Flows Framework Project, or CEFF.)

The Glendale Narrows is one of three soft-bottomed areas of the L.A. River.

(Jaclyn Cosgrove / Los Angeles Times)

For example, the L.A. River has three soft-bottomed areas where plant and animal life thrives. If the river were starved of reclaimed water in the dry months, what would happen to those ecosystems?

“No one is saying the river doesn’t need water — there is no debate about whether there should be water in the river — the debate is … how much water does the river need?” Dickens-Russell said. “We’re trying to establish that baseline.”

The CEFF group will meet for the last time in less than two weeks, and afterward, its members will send their findings to the state water board, which oversees any changes to river flow in California, she said.

The Glendale Narrows area of the L.A. River.

(Jaclyn Cosgrove / Los Angeles Times)

Even as officials discern the amount of the water the river needs for its multitude of uses, the L.A. River also has to be clean enough to swim in.

And humans and our behaviors are one of the biggest reasons our river water becomes polluted.

When it rains in cities, that water runs off buildings, driveways and roads, picking up fertilizer from our yards and farmlands, motor oil spilled on our streets and highways, pesticides sprayed on our plants, dirt and bacteria. This untreated runoff makes its way through storm drains and ditches into our local streams and rivers and eventually, the ocean.

Additionally, for years, runoff from industrial sites along the river have added to the problem, an effort that’s been highlighted as climate justice activists work to develop the former Taylor Yard, a railroad maintenance yard, into a park.

This is all part of a much larger problem beyond the banks of the L.A. River. “Polluted runoff is one of the greatest threats to clean water in the U.S.,” according to the federal Environmental Protection Agency.

The river is especially gnarly after its so-called “first flush,” when L.A. experiences its first big rain after a lengthy dry spell, and everything that’s built up on our roadways flows into the river.

A sunflower-like plant resembling California brittlebush grows among invasive plants in the L.A. River.

(Jaclyn Cosgrove / Los Angeles Times)

Addressing this pollution to the extent that would make the L.A. River swimmable is not an impossible task, but it’s one that would require significant investment in our local infrastructure — like implementing creative solutions to keep out or remove trash from the river. That’s where public opinion and advocacy come into play, Dickens-Russell said.

Cities across the world like Portland and Copenhagen have successfully transformed their urban rivers into green spaces that offer reprieve from intense and increasingly frequent heat waves in our climate-changed world. Unlike Paris, which made a $1.5-billion investment in cleaning the Seine, our river won’t be ready — unless something substantial changes — for the 2028 Olympics.

The possibility of swimming in the L.A. River, though, is far from a new idea.

“Towards a swimmable, fishable, boatable river,” read the first page of the Friends of the L.A. River’s first “State of the Los Angeles River” report, published in 2005.

Lino Jubilado using a tenkara-style fly fishing rod in the L.A. River in Long Beach.

(Jerry Hsu / For The Times)

Swimming in our river isn’t going to happen with just “one good project,” but instead a mix of people changing their behaviors and also pushing for change, Dickens-Russell said.

“Looking at your question, ‘When will we be able to swim in the L.A. River?’” Dickens-Russell said, “I don’t know that that’s the question. I think the question is what we’re willing to invest to make that possible. A swimmable river is an achievable goal, but it’s going to require sustained investment in water quality and things like habitat restoration and safe and equitable public access. Every project that reduces pollution and restores natural function brings us a little bit closer to that. And yeah, we should be planning for a future where Angelenos can safely swim in the L.A. River. Why not?”

While digging through The Times’ archives for this story, I found a new visual of a river to inspire me: Three boys swimming in the L.A. River in 1936.

“Viewing the dusty Los Angeles River bed last week no one would have thought of swimming in connection with it,” the caption read. “But yesterday Bob Henderson, Stanley Hayden and Archer Bolton frolicked in the flood waters near Bell, thanks to the week-end rain.”

Ninety years later, I’m dreaming of one day doing the same. How long will that take exactly? It’s up to all of us to find out.

3 things to do

Hikers learn about their local ecosystem on a previous hike with environmental educator Jason Wise and others.

(Jason Wise)

1. Celebrate the full spectrum of the animal kingdom in L.A.
Environmental educator Jason Wise and biological anthropologist Natalia Reagan will host a sunset queer ecology walk from 6 to 8 p.m. Aug. 13 in Griffith Park. The co-hosts will dive deep into the world of animal homosexuality, bisexuality, asexuality, polyamory and more. Suggested donation of $30. Register at eventbrite.com.

2. Churn up hills in L.A.
Labyrinth, a trail run club, will host Dirt & Dessert from 7:30 to 10 a.m. Saturday in Griffith Park. Participants will tackle a 5K trail run while churning their own ice cream. Runners should bring their own bag, vest or backpack to hold ice cream-making materials, which will be included in the $14 event fee. Register at eventbrite.com.

3. Nurture native habitat in Northeast L.A.
We Explore Earth needs volunteers from 8 to 10:30 a.m. Saturday at Ascot Hills Park to beautify the park’s hillsides and trails. Participants will remove invasive species and support native habitat recovery. Register at eventbrite.com.

The must-read

Marc Papas cycles past graffiti next to the L.A. River.

(Kayla Bartkowski / Los Angeles Times)

Cyclist Marc Papas is on a mission to bike every public street in L.A., an estimated 7,516.07 miles. Papas moved to L.A. in late 2020 after completing his PhD at Georgia Tech, freelance journalist Oren Peleg wrote for The Times. Papas was initially scared to ride his bike around L.A., fearful of all he’d been told about our city’s car-filled and dangerous streets. Then he found himself asking: “With perfect weather year-round, and a mostly flat topography, why wasn’t everyone in L.A. riding bikes?” His passion evolved into “The Project,” of which he’s already ridden over 78% (about 5,840 miles) of our city’s streets.

Who else feels inspired to jump on their bike?

Happy adventuring,

P.S.

After my friend Maria told me she’d signed up for $10 kayaking classes after learning about them from my Instagram Stories, it made me realize that there were likely many others who’d like to know that information. L.A. County Parks and Recreation is hosting stand-up paddleboard and kayaking classes, and they’re only $10 per session. Instructors will teach participants about proper paddling technique, balance and coordination, and water safety. The classes will be offered at Santa Fe Dam, Bonelli Regional Park and Castaic Lake. August classes have sold out at Santa Fe Dam and Bonelli, but several spots remain at Castaic Lake, which sits north of L.A. and offers amazing views of the San Gabriel Mountains. Sign up by searching “kayak” or “stand” on the county’s activity registration website. A great way to have fun and stay cool this summer!

For more insider tips on Southern California’s beaches, trails and parks, check out past editions of The Wild. And to view this newsletter in your browser, click here.

Clegg added: “My coach said something a bit silly earlier, which was that [footballer] Lionel Messi only shows up for the World Cup, and he meant that my experience allows me to step up for these big moments when all season I’ve been swimming a bit crap.

“He will hopefully agree that I’ve done that tonight.”

And how. Clegg attacked the second 50m of the race with relish and pulled away from his rivals to post a time of 24.73 seconds, half a second quicker than he has gone all year.

It also upgraded the silver he won in Birmingham over the distance – achieved when he was not only four years younger, but in much better shape physically.

All that was playing through his mind as he stood on the podium, lip trembling and trying hard to keep his shape, as Flower of Scotland played.

“I was really struggling to keep it together,” said Clegg, who had missed his sister’s wedding amid the preparations for these Games. “Once the anthem started playing, I just started shaking and started to tear up a little bit.

“I’m a very emotional person, but I don’t really let them out very often. And for me to show that emotion kind of, I think, speaks louder than words for me.

“Every time I tried to articulate it, I’ve fallen short of the actual feeling. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime experience, and I think nothing in my career can really beat that moment. Even winning gold at Paris.”

STRANGER Things star Millie Bobby Brown has had a swimming pool built — just for her dogs.

The 22-year-old British actress runs an animal rescue organisation called Joey’s Friends on her farm in Atlanta, Georgia, and wants to train pooches to swim.

Millie also admitted her most expensive purchases are related to her animals.

Quizzed over the most unnecessary thing she has spent money on this year, she said: “Maybe a goat shed.

“Like I didn’t need the shed, did I? But the goats love it. I just thought it was cute. Also, a new chicken coop. That or I just built a swimming pool for my foster dogs.”

Millie then recalled the chat she had with her husband, 24-year-old model Jake Bongiovi, who she wed in 2024.

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She told the On Purpose With Jay Shetty podcast: “He’s like, ‘Why?’

“And I’m like, ‘Because it gets hot in the summer, and I want them to learn how to swim so that when they get adopted, they can swim’.”

Last year she said she had 62 pets including 25 farm animals, 23 foster dogs, ten of her own dogs and four cats.

She is believed to have rescued and rehomed more than 230 dogs.

Millie, who has an estimated net worth of £24million, has several goats named after rappers including Eminem, Cardi B, Slick Rick and Biggie Smalls, as well as chickens.

She said: “I have a lot of animals on the farm that were bullied out of their own farm.

“So the herds just kind of chose, ‘We hate that donkey’. Then that donkey comes to me. I have a lot of outcasts. That’s exactly where I belong.”

Millie hit the big time playing Eleven in the Netflix sensation — at the age of 12.

She made her movie debut in 2019’s Godzilla: King of the Monsters before starring in The Enola Holmes Mysteries.

She has since launched her own fashion range.

WATER slides, themed saunas, pool bars and a spa – could somewhere be more fun?

Suntago Water Park in Poland is the biggest indoor waterpark in Europe, offering enough fun for a multi-day visit.

And now, it is even easier for tourists to head to the park as a new bus service runs directly from Warsaw Chopin Airport to the park.

Having launched on June 1, the bus service will run until the end of the season on August 31.

The service from the airport takes around 45 minutes, runs a few times a day in each direction and costs around £13.20 return.

Visitors can also hop on a bus from Warsaw taking about 55 minutes and running each hour for £9.14 return.

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Or catch one from Żyrardów taking about 20 minutes and running several times a day for £4.06 return.

Inside, the park really is huge with 18 pools, 35 slides and numerous saunas.

When it comes to the pools there are several featuring different minerals or chemical elements that have different health benefits.

For example, you could take a dip in the magnesium pool (34C), which is rumoured to help skin disorders as well as relax muscles.

On the other hand, if you want to soothe dry skin then head to the calcium pool (34C).

Other mineral pools include a lithium pool to reduce stress, a potassium pool which can help with reducing blood pressure and a sulphur pool ideal for visitors who suffer with joint issues.

If you’re not into mineral pools though and would rather go for a swim, then you can head to the outdoor pool instead, with a swim-up bar for a tipple.

Another outdoor pool even has a hot tub and – instead of a lazy river – a ‘crazy river’.

Back inside, there’s a bubbling spring pool (32C) and a wave pool, both ideal for relaxing and having a splash.

Though for a bit more fun, make sure to head on the Mamba Adventure River that’s a 130-metre long pool through a cave-like area with glowing green lights.

Little ones aren’t left out either as there is a baby pool right next to a Pirates’ Playground.

But there is more fun for kids than this, with 35 different waterslides across five floors.

These include three snake-themed rides where you even come out of a snake’s mouth.

On Anaconda, for example, you’ll be launched nearly 20 metres before racing through a number of twists and bends.

If you are brave enough there is another waterslide called Teleport, which features a fast and unexpected drop.

Families wanting to stick together can try out Toucan and Arara in four-person rafts or get competitive on racing waterslides.

If all those pools and slides weren’t enough, there’s also more than 13 different heated rooms, including saunas and a frigidarium.

There’s a classic wooden sauna with a viking-themed twist, heated to a near-boiling 95C and an Egyptian Village where there are five saunas themed around different areas of Egypt including the Sahara Desert.

If you like the idea of a sauna but don’t want it too hot, head to the Korean Sauna, that is 38C and also plays calming music.

Or for something more exciting, head into the Aquarium Sauna with a number of fish tanks to watch.

You could also be transported to the Maldives in the Paradise Beach sauna or to Mont Blanc in the chilly frigidarium which is -7C.

Last but not least, there is a salt grotto which has a “seaside-like microclimate” and blocks upon blocks of salt ideal for helping your nervous system.

If you want to level up your wellness experience, there is a spa onsite too.

After all the splashing about and relaxing, if you want a bite to eat there are a number of restaurants and cafes onsite.

You can make even it a whole weekend event by staying at the Suntago Village, just five minutes from the park.

Kids can only access the Jamango zone where you’ll find pools and the slides, costing from £20.10 a day.

On the other hand adults can access the Jamango zones, as well as the Relax and Saunaria zones from £33.30 a day.

There’s nothing like taking a cool dip after a hot day, especially in L.A. summer weather. As peak swimming season kicks off, the Hansen Dam Aquatic Center pool in Lake View Terrace reopened Memorial Day on weekends after being closed for the season. It will be open daily for swim and play starting Saturday.

The popular San Fernando Valley aquatic center spans 40 acres that include a massive 1.5-acre pool lined with sand like a beach. There’s also a nine-acre lake used for fishing and nonmotorized boat activities.

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1. Jaylia Martinez, 5, left, is splashed with water by Elijah Santillana, 6. 2. The height chart for the water slide at the Hansen Dam Aquatic Center. 3. Visitors enjoy the pool at the Hansen Dam Aquatic Center. (Kayla Bartkowski / Los Angeles Times)

“As one of the largest pools in the U.S., capacity [being] 3,500, we get so many people from all over the city, all over the county, people coming from out of state to this place,” Edwin Realegeno, aquatic facility manager of the center, said.

The Hansen Dam Aquatic Center pool was constructed in 1999 in a $15-million project to replace a previous pool in the area that was filled with silt.

Along the pool’s sandy shores, individuals can use the volleyball courts and teqball table. There are also different levels of shallow water for young swimmers and toddlers.

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Paty Santillana, a Van Nuys resident, has visited the Hansen Dam Aquatic Center for the last 15 years. “It’s perfect for little kids. I have a 5-year-old and also a 21-year-old, who we used to come here with,” Santillana said. She adds that her grandchildren are ecstatic every time she mentions a visit to the pool.

Idalia Fraga, a 12-year-old swimmer who has been to the pool twice since its reopening on Memorial Day weekend, said she enjoys the pool for its affordability.

“Prices are very cheap … it really helps those families who struggle,” Fraga said.

After some renovations to its large water slide that will be reopening Saturday, the pool is open to swimmers for an admission fee of $4 for adults and children 17 and under for $1. The center takes cash only.

The recreational lake is open year-round and is restocked with fish from the California Department of Fish and Wildlife.

Christopher Lopez relaxes by regularly fishing at the Hansen Dam Recreation Lake on the weekends.

(Kayla Bartkowski / Los Angeles Times)

Along the lake, people enjoy walking the surrounding grassy pathway and fishing. Christopher Lopez, a Pacoima resident, who also goes by the nickname Squid, goes to the lake for the latter.

Lopez started fishing nearly two months ago with his longtime friend from elementary school. “[It’s about] getting out of the house and having something to do on the weekends and being able to enjoy the day,” he said. “Spending our time out here I think is just a great addition.”

For Lopez, catching bass or trout and enjoying the occasional breeze is a perfect day to absorb the beauty of nature.

Lifeguards Israel Orozco, left, and Ian Zabel, right, watch the pool as visitors cool off at the Hansen Dam Aquatic Center.

(Kayla Bartkowski / Los Angeles Times)

The recreational center is hosting fundraising 1K and 5K runs on Sunday followed by a party with free access to the pool. Realegeno said the fundraiser is to help fund public pool centers across L.A. County and to promote swimming safety lessons.

Visit the recreation center’s website or Instagram page for more information as well as updates on pool or slide closures. Hours vary.

Spencer Pratt, please give me a call.

We should talk.

You say you want to be mayor of Los Angeles, but do you really?

I know that being a candidate has rescued you from anonymity after your career in reality TV went off a cliff. You’ve got CEOs backing you, and fans raving, and you’ve managed to milk social media attention.

But at some point you might have to answer questions from the reporters you’ve been avoiding.

And if you win, you’re going to have to drive to City Hall five, six, seven days a week, and I don’t know if you saw my column a few weeks ago, but the fountain on the south lawn hasn’t worked in about 60 years. If you get elected, you better put a wrench in your lunch box, because nobody has figured out how to fix it.

So that’s the reality, pretty much. And the unions will want what they want, and the socialists on the City Council will be lying in wait, especially after President Trump blew you a cross-country air kiss and certified your MAGA credentials.

More than 30,000 people are waiting for their broken sidewalks to get fixed (I’m not exaggerating) but there’s no money, and if you hire several thousand more police officers as you’ve pledged, the city would be bankrupt for the next decade or so and you’d need to take out a loan to buy a doughnut.

So call me, like I say, because I think there’s still time to change your mind.

If you choose to proceed, and if you actually win, it might feel like you’re in a sequel to that reality show you did called “I’m a Celebrity … Get Me Out of Here,” and you may end up praying the show gets canceled. The mayor’s hours are long, and everywhere you go, someone will want you to fix this problem or that, and as you wander the halls of power you’ll think back on your campaign pledges and hear the constant echo of a line from H.L. Mencken:

“For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong.”

Can I confess something?

I’m feeling guilty about all of this.

Not to sound presumptuous, but I feel partly responsible for the fact that you’re in contention for the job.

Like you, I’ve been calling out issues with the management of L.A., and I’ve been doing it for years. But I had the good sense not to run for mayor.

Why’s that?

Because unlike you, I know the fixes aren’t as easy as we’d like them to be.

When Karen Bass was running the first time, I had a long talk with her about her homelessness plan, among other things. At the end of the day, she asked for my input.

I reminded her that as much as people would like for the city’s top elected official to immediately clear the streets, a mayor is limited by shared power with the City Council.

By drug epidemics and untreated mental illness that are largely under county authority.

By uncertain funding from the nation’s capital.

By global forces that transformed the economy and created staggering levels of inequality that are made all the worse by the high cost of housing.

Bass was aware of all that, but said that having worked in Sacramento and D.C., and having built relationships with county supervisors, she’d be able to build better systems and get better outcomes.

So how has she done?

Not great. And then there’s the fire.

As I’ve said before, leaving the country despite forecasts of elevated wildfire risk was probably the worst mistake of her political career.

I don’t need to remind you of that. Having lost your house in the Palisades, you know that Bass badly underreacted, then stumbled on the rebuilding, and then had a hand in downplaying the Fire Department’s failure to adequately deploy and extinguish the fire that became an inferno.

To summarize, she’s left herself wide open to a challenge.

And she probably can’t believe how lucky she is that you might be her November competition, if the two of you bounce out Councilmember Nithya Raman and the other candidates in the June 2 primary.

I don’t hold it against you that you haven’t worked in government or politics before. These days, a lot of voters prefer outsiders. But it might have helped if you’d done something of purpose at some point in your life, like run a successful business or volunteer at a food bank. Were you junior high class president, or were you in the Boy Scouts? Anything could help.

Not that being the boyfriend and later the husband of someone on an MTV reality show called “The Hills,” which chronicled the work of a woman who went from “Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County” to an internship at Teen Vogue, can’t prepare a young man for statesmanship.

In this culture, you could ride that all the way to the White House.

But the flimsy resume could explain, Spencer, why you’ve been taking so many social media-fueled potshots at Bass without offering anything of substance.

Let’s arrest drug zombies.

OK, then what?

I’d advise you to study the primer by my colleagues Doug Smith and Andrew Khouri on what you can and can’t do about homelessness as a mayor in L.A. Clearly, you’ve got a lot of boning up to do. In fact, I’m reminded of a line by a Philadelphia columnist years ago, when he said of a politician who wasn’t up to the job: He’s been standing in shallow water for so long, he doesn’t realize he can’t swim.

If I were you, I’d consider the fact that President Trump made the mistake of promising easy fixes. He was going to deliver a massive infrastructure program. He was going to deliver healthcare reform that was better and cheaper for everyone. He was going to lower consumer prices on Day One, and here we are, with millions of people wondering how they’re going to pay their bills while Trump rigs it so he doesn’t have to pay the IRS.

All that being said, I’m glad you decided to run, because elected officials need constant reminders that their jobs are not secure, even when the challengers are way in over their heads. I’d almost like to see you win, because that’s one reality show I’d be sure to watch.

And I say this despite the fact that you once told your talk show buddy Alex Jones — who insisted that 9/11 was an inside job and that the Sandy Hook massacre of 20 children was a hoax — that melting ice caps are overrated. Or, as you explained it to Jones, “we’ve all seen footage of the polar bears swimming to new pieces of ice.”

When the general election rolls around, and the ice begins to break, will you know how to swim?

steve.lopez@latimes.com

WHO doesn’t love a trip to the British seaside on a sunny day? That is, as long as the water is clean.

With temperatures hitting highs of 30C this weekend, Brits will be flocking to the coastline to enjoy the weather at some of our best beaches – but before you dive in headfirst, make sure it’s safe for swimming.

Follow The Sun’s award-winning travel team on Instagram and Tiktok for top holiday tips and inspiration @thesuntravel.

While most beaches are absolutely fine to have a paddle – there are some that you absolutely do not want to swim in because of bad water quality and even sewage spills.

Swimming in polluted water or water of poor classification can leave people ill due to the likelihood of harmful bacteria, viruses, or pathogens like E. coli being present.

The most common illness associated with bathing in dirty water is gastroenteritis, which causes diarrhoea and vomiting.

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In most cases these symptoms are mild and resolve on their own – but some cases can be severe and result in hospitalisation.

Channel 4 even did a recent three-part series called Dirty Business based on the investigation into England’s systemic sewage pollution crisis.

The series exposes widespread, illegal raw sewage discharges into UK waterways and the failure of privatised water companies to properly manage environmental regulation.

So, before you go swimming this weekend, and later this summer – it’s important to do some checks first.

Live sewage spills

The best place to check if bathing water has been recently affected by sewage spills is with Surfers Against Sewage (SAS).

The marine conservation and campaigning charity is fighting to keep our favourite swim spots clean.

On their website, you can see which bathing water has been recently affected by sewage as it updates a map with live discharge information.

Louise Reddy, Senior Policy Officer at Surfers Against Sewage told Sun Travel: “If you’re heading to the beach or planning on taking a dip in a lake or river, check the Safer Seas and Rivers Service app.

“This is the UK’s only real-time water quality information service ensuring thousands of water users around the UK can check for pollution alerts, and make an informed choice about entering the water. You can download the app, or view pollution alerts on the web version.

“We shouldn’t need to check for sewage alerts before diving in, however the grim reality is that rain or shine, water companies are dumping sewage into our wild waters, whilst paying out profits to shareholders.

“That’s why we are demanding that the Government takes the bold action needed to restructure the water industry, removing the profit motive and changing the system so it operates for people and the planet.”

Water quality

Swimfo on the government website allows you to look up details of a designated bathing water by name or location and see the quality of its waters.

These are then classified and from best to worst these are “excellent”, “good”, “sufficient” or “poor”.

Where water quality is poor, the water it has a marker along with the words, “Bathing is not advised”.

Be aware, however, that this is based on testing from last year.

Water testing for 2026 will be undertaken 20 times between May 15 and September 30.

If you’re heading to beaches not in England, information about bathing water quality in other countries in the UK can be found here: Scotland (SEPA), Wales (NRW), or Northern Ireland (DAERA)

Blue Flag beaches

Across the country, the ‘Blue Flag’ is awarded to swimming spots that are clean, safe, and well-managed.

These were announced two days ago with a total of 61 sites including beaches, a marina and an inland water bathing area have been awarded the accolade.

If you’re heading to a Blue Flag spot this weekend like Whitley Bay, Southwold or Botany Bay, the flag should be flying.

It’s recognisable as a vibrant blue flag with a distinct white circle in the middle and what looks like a blue wave inside.

But there are some instances in which the flag is revoked – for example if water quality drops below the strict standard.

So if you don’t see it on your trip to the seaside, check online to find out why.

Other flags

When you get to the beach, check around for other flags which will advise on safety.

If you visit a lifeguarded beach, there will be flags on the beach to show you where it’s safe to swim.

If you’re planning to swim or bodyboard, stay between the red-and-yellow flags as that is where lifeguards are on duty.

A solid red flags means ‘Dangerous conditions: do not enter the water.’

And of course if the beach or bathing water isn’t lifeguarded make sure to take extra safety precautions.

Check for further safety tips on the RNLI website.