Spice

SPICE GIRLS fans might not be getting a reunion tour for their 30th anniversary — but they could be enjoying something a lot more futuristic.

Victoria Beckham has confirmed they are in discussions about a hologram spectacular, a year after I revealed talks were under way with former manager Simon Fuller.

With a full-blown comeback looking unlikely, Posh said the girls all reckon a digital show would be “great” — and have already been chatting about it over dinner.

The concept would follow in the footsteps of ABBA Voyage, which turned the Swedish band into digital avatars and has been raking it in since launching in East London in 2022.

Victoria said on SiriusXM radio: “I think it would be a great idea.

“The principle of it would be great.

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“We were talking about it at dinner, but we’ll see.”

It comes after Melanie C poured cold water on reunion hopes, insisting a tour “is not happening”.

So fans shouldn’t hold out for the band hitting the road together anytime soon.

Still, a Spice Girls show without the stress of rehearsals, travel or arranging five schedules sounds very on- brand.

And if anyone can make Girl Power go digital, it’s music boss Simon, who first dreamed up ABBA’s avatar take

My insiders first told me of the girl-group’s plans last May, with Simon keen to celebrate their greatest hits with the show.

A source added: “Simon is desperate to have one last hurrah with the Spice Girls and this is his latest idea.

“He was the person who came up with the original idea for Abba and their digital show and he thinks this model could work perfectly for the group.

“Simon knows this plan would mean the band would be making money in their sleep and it would open up their music to a whole new generation.

“It’s a really exciting concept and he thinks he could make it work.”

Now he’s got Posh on board, I don’t think there is anything stopping them.

DAMON: TOO BUSY TO WIPE

SUCCESSFUL musicians can be lazy sods after years of having lackeys looking after their every whim.

And Damon Albarn has revealed he’s become so high and mighty, that he’s decided to stop doing anything not worth his time.

The result, my friends, is absolutely disgusting.

The Blur frontman said: “Sometimes I don’t even really wipe my bum properly.

“No, it’s not all the time, but you know what I mean. I just don’t allow many of the conventions that slow the day down to get in my way.”

Defending his toilet habit, Beatlebum singer Damon, insisted: “It’s more of the principle of the thing.

“If I’m in a hurry, I won’t waste extra time doing something that is not necessary to do at that moment.”

Remind me to never sit down wind of him at a party.

DUA TO LINE UP TOUR FILM?

HOLIDAY-loving Dua Lipa wore denim and stripes as she zipped off on another trip with her actor fiancé Callum Turner.

They have just returned from a romantic getaway to Copenhagen and she shared snaps online of them together and him tucking into a burger.

But it sounds like she may soon have a surprise up her sleeve, after sending fans wild with a message about a potential film of her Radical Optimism tour, which kicked off in November 2024 in support of her third album.

Dua shared a video on WhatsApp of herself performing and people screaming in the crowds.

In an accompanying note to fans, she wrote: “Happy 2 years of Radical Optimism . . . how should we celebrate?”

Her song End Of An Era features in new flick The Devil Wears Prada 2 and with the singer already hard at work on her next album, now would be the perfect time to close the book on her previous one.

OLIVIA’S STRIP TEASE BEFORE BARCA GIG

THE World Cup kicks off in just over a month and Olivia Rodrigo is already proving she’s on the ball when it comes to the beautiful game.

But rather than getting behind the US team, she’s more focused on La Liga champs Barcelona, teaming up with the Spanish club and Spotify to create a limited-edition jersey.

Perhaps we just forget about her trip to Stamford Bridge in 2023 to see Chelsea when it was proudly claimed she was a Blues fan.

The women’s team will wear the tops in their home match against Levante on Thursday. On Saturday, Olivia will play a Spotify Billions Club Live gig there.

Olivia, who follows acts such as Ed Sheeran, Drake and The Rolling Stones by featuring on the club’s kit, said: “Seeing ‘OR’ on a Barcelona jersey, I don’t even know how to process that.

“Getting to perform for the fans who’ve been listening since day one, in a city like Barcelona, is going to be special.”

EUPHORIA actor Jacob Elordi has broken his foot.

The Page Six gossip column in the US said the Aussie heartthrob’s injury means he is out of the running to be on the Cannes Film Festival jury, which he was expected to be part of.

The festival starts next Tuesday, but the injury means we are unlikely to see him striding down the red carpet.

HELL OF A START FOR DEVIL 2

THERE were plenty of doubters and mixed reviews – but The Devil Wears Prada 2 certainly hasn’t fallen out of fashion.

It has topped the box office worldwide, and over the weekend banked $233.6million, including $77million in North America.

That’s more than double the $27.5million the original 2006 flick made in its opening weekend.

It’s finally proof there is demand for female-fronted films, after male movies such as Michael and Project Hail Mary dominated in cinemas.

Meryl Streep, Emily Blunt and Anne Hathaway reprise their roles, with all eyes back on Runway magazine and its editor Miranda Priestly.

Unlike the fictional mag, there’s nothing to worry about with these bumper figures.

CAMERON DIAZ has become a mum for the third time, aged 53.

She and hubby Benji Madden, of rock band Good Charlotte, have welcomed a baby boy called Nautas.

The Charlie’s Angels actress, who had daughter Raddix and son Cardinal by surrogate, previously said she was conscious about being an older mum.

FUTRA LIGHT

RIHANNA gets fruity in an new shoot for her Savage X Fenty’s latest undies range.

The singer, who looked stunning in sett decorated with strawberries, wrote on X: “It’s giving everything but basic for your everyday basics.”

Rihanna has been really quiet lately, with all whispers of new music once again dying down – a decade after the release of her last album, Anti.

C’mon girl, it’s what we RiRi want.

KATY AND JUSTIN GET PICKLED

KATY PERRY and Justin Trudeau have got themselves in a right little pickle.

The singer proved her unlikely romance with the former Canadian Prime Minister had gone from strength to strength – when she shared loved-up photos on Instagram, including one of their personalised jar of pickles.

The label shows the couple under the name “Katy & Justin’s Pop + Policy Pickles.”

Customised jars like theirs set customers back £22, but she clearly enjoyed the savoury souvenir, given that she shared the photo with her 200million followers.

Katy, pictured with her arms wrapped around her boyfriend, will head out on a six-week tour next month with stops in Dublin, Cardiff, and Isle of MTV festival in Malta.

At least with this momento stashed in her suitcase, she will have a reminder of home.

BOBBY’S BOO TO ROCK SIRS

PRIMAL SCREAM frontman Bobby Gillespie has taken a swipe at rock royalty, accusing some of music’s biggest names of getting too cosy with the Royal Family.

The singer didn’t hold back as he blasted those who accept honours, taking aim at the likes of Sir Brian May, Sir Paul McCartney and Sir Rod Stewart.

At the launch of the David Bowie: You’re Not Alone immersive experience in London, Bobby said: “David Bowie was one of the few admirable rock stars who never took an honour from the Royal Family, which I think is incredibly cool.

“Maybe the coolest thing he ever did.

“The rest of them grovel on their knees, Bowie was like, nah. Too cool.”

Bobby made it clear his admiration for Bowie goes far beyond just snubbing a title, though.

He added: “I was a teenager in the Seventies so I’d be going to school in the morning and my mum would have the radio on and The Jean Genie would be blasting out, or Suffragette City or Golden Years.

“So since I was a conscious kid, a teenager, a pop music fan, he’s always been there.”

Bobby also praised Bowie’s constant reinvention, which he says helped shape his own band’s sound.

He added: “The way that he changed as an artist from album to album – he did different styles, as did The Beatles – that’s been a big influence on Primal Scream.”

ROBBIE WILLIAMS had to grin and bare it after breaking off half of his front tooth.

He shared this smiley selfie with the damaged gnasher on full display, telling his Instagram followers he hadn’t noticed it was missing until getting into bed with his wife Ayda Field.

Robbie revealed: “She said I look like Dumb And Dumber. Fair enough, I guess I do.”

But Rob is in Miami and his dentist is in Los Angeles, so he’s in a quandry over whether to fly five hours to get it fixed before his upcoming shows.

Whatever he does, I doubt he will be taking PALOMA FAITH’s advice.

She commented: “Knock them all out to match.”

That sounds more like a threat than a solution.

THEY say good things come to those who wait, so I have high expectations for Roger Sanchez’s first studio album in two decades.

And as he gears up to release the 13-track record, Spectrum, on June 5, the superstar DJ reveals he’s thrown fans a curveball after teaming up with Melanie C on his song I Don’t Wanna Know.

“That’s one I didn’t have on my dance card,” Roger tells me after popping into Bizarre HQ, where he takes his tea “milky, two sweeteners”.

“When the Spice Girls first came out, I always felt she was underrated. There was such a power in her voice and I didn’t feel in the Spice Girls she got her due for how powerful her voice is.

“She’s the bubbliest one of the group. She’s a powerhouse.

“I had this track and I was talking to my team about artists who people wouldn’t expect me to work with.

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“My manager was like, ‘How about the Spice Girls?’ and I said, ‘Well it’s got to be Mel C if we’re going to do it.’

“We sent the track that I had originally done to her team, and she loved it. And so she sent me back the song that she wrote. And I was like, let’s go.”

Sanchez has scored numerous hits in the European and World Charts with both his own music and the remixes he has created for an array of superstars including Diana Ross, Kylie Minogue, Daft Punk, Madonna, The Police, No Doubt and Maroon 5.

Like us, Roger is now waiting to hear Madonna’s new album Confessions On A Dancefloor: Part II after previously working with her on remixes of her songs.

“You don’t ever count Madonna out,” Roger explains.

“I know she’s been around for quite some time.

“And as somebody who’s been around for a minute myself, I can say creative forces like that are probably becoming a little more rare as time goes on, because of just the way things are done now.

“You just never count her out because she’s always brewing something

“And it’s always going to be something that moves the needle somehow.”

Just days after Roger drops Spectrum, he will head to his spiritual home in Ibiza to take up a residency at super club Pacha, after spending weeks in the UK finishing the record.

“I started forming where I wanted a body of work to go around 2020. Before we dove into the hell that was known as Covid.

“Coming out of that, the UK was one of the first markets to reopen so I started touring.

“I wound up spending a lot of time in London and I’ve got a flat in Shoreditch.

“The UK became a real central point for me. I connected with a lot of writers and artists here. This is a London album.”

Spectrum is packed with dance bangers including my favourites Midas Touch, Come My Way and How Do We Say Goodbye with Karen Harding, which will be the next single to be released.

And Roger is hoping to return to Glastonbury one day to play the record, after a killer headline set at NYC Downlow back in 2016.

“That was my first kind of performing experience at Glastonbury,” Roger explains.

“It felt like a 1989 rave in the UK. Very, very dark and very loud.

“And people weren’t on their phones. They really plugged into the moment.

“I’ve played a few times since. I did one for Glitterbox and I did another for Greenpeace in a tree.

“There’s a little door opening in the base, and you climb up a bloody ladder.

“You feel like you’re a hobbit. It felt a bit like Gandalf walking into Bilbo Baggins’ home.”

SPICE IT UP

MELANIE C teamed up with another special someone at the weekend – Spice Girls bandmate Mel B.

They sang Spice Up Your Life for the first time since the group’s 2019 tour at a concert in Leeds.

Mel C played the gig to celebrate the release of latest solo album Sweat, which is on course to go to No2 this Friday.

TENSIONS between Gordon Ramsey and Brooklyn Beckham were high back in February after the famous chef fired a warning shot to the wannabe over his feud with his parents.

Now it seems Gordon is coming for Brooklyn in business.

Gordon has trademarked Hotter Than Hell by Gordon Ramsay – the name given to the spicy relishes he uses in some of his restaurants.

But it appears he could be preparing to flog bottles of the sauce to customers and if he goes ahead with the venture, he will be competing with Brookylyn’s Cloud 23 hot sauce, which he launched back in 2024.

“If Gordon is launching his own sauce he’ll be going up against Brooklyn in that market,” an insider told me.

“Things will get spicy if they end up clashing over it.”

In February, Gordon told our newspaper he thought Brooklyn had got carried away by his marriage to Nicola Peltz.

Asked about how Posh and Becks were coping after their son’s acid-tongued Instagram statement about them, Gordon said: “Victoria is upset, and I know 24/7, seven days a week, just how much David loves Brooklyn.

“Brooklyn and I have messaged a little bit. Our relationship is solid. I love him.

“His heart is incredible. But it’s hard, isn’t it, when you’re infatuated?

“Love is blind. It’s easy to get up on that rollercoaster and get carried away. But it will come back.”

Awkward.

Moment in the sun

PROMISING British pop star Bellah Mae is having her moment in the sun after signing a record deal in the States.

The Birmingham-born singer posed on a lounger in a snap to promote her new single Salt And Sugar from her upcoming EP, Keep It Peachy, which will be out on May 29.

It’s the first release for Bellah, who is currently on tour across the US, with her new label Sony Nashville.

She told me: “I’ve been coming to Nashville to write since I was 19 years old and knew I wanted to eventually spend more time here from the first time I came over, so to be one of the first UK artists signing to Sony Nashville and be here is a lot of dreams all coming true.

“I wanna bridge the gap between the UK and US country-pop worlds and take over the space one song at a time… the British Hannah Montana!

“The new era is fun, flirty and confident.”

Shakira loves a Brazilian

SHAKIRA made history on Saturday as she played one of the highest attended concerts of all time.

More than 2million fans saw the Colombian superstar play a free gig at Copacabana Beach in Rio De Janeiro.

During the spectacular show, the She Wolf singer wore ten costumes, many of which were made by local designers – including a jumpsuit with Swarovski crystals in the pattern of the Brazilian flag.

More than 1,500 drones lit up the sky before Shakira took to the stage.

And the singer was later joined by Anitta to perform their new single, Choka Choka.

Shakira’s Las Mujeres Ya No Lloran Tour will come to Europe in September, where she will play 11 nights at the purpose-built Shakira Stadium in Madrid.

GRAHAM DRINKS IN EURO FUN

GRAHAM NORTON has told how he turns to drink to survive the madness of Eurovision.

The BBC star, who will be commentating on the song contest in Vienna on May 16, said the live final is such a slog, he needs a drink to get through it.

On Alan Carr’s Bottoms Up! podcast, Graham said former host Terry Wogan called him before his first ever contest in Moscow with some tips.

He said: “The only bit of advice he gave me was, ‘Don’t have a drink before song nine’.

“But I’m drinking whatever I can lay my hands on because it’s a long old stretch.”

Graham also admitted that refreshments are not easy to source at the venues, saying “normally, it’s smuggled in”.

But he knows better than to overdo it during the live show.

Given the quality of some of the songs, I’m amazed he can wait until number nine.

OLIVIA RODRIGO mocked Jake Paul as she hosted Saturday Night Live in the US.

Speaking about the boxer, who she starred with on the Disney show Bizaardvark a decade ago, Olivia said: “We’d always talk about our futures, me and Jake.

“I’d say, ‘I wanna create music that explores the complexities of girls my age’, and he’d say, ‘One day I wanna beat up old guys on Netflix’.”

LIAM AND NOEL NOT IN TUNE

LIAM GALLAGHER has admitted he’s in the dark when it comes to the new music his brother Noel has been writing – and whether it could be for Oasis.

Last month, Noel revealed he had been “in the studio, noodling away” on new tunes.

But when asked about it on X at the weekend, Liam was none the wiser.

He said: “I’ve not heard anything unless he’s doing a solo album, which would be a real shame, I mean really good.”

When someone else commented: “So he just doesn’t tell you his plans?” he replied: “Pretty much.”

Given how much Liam spouts off online, I can’t really blame Noel for keeping schtum.

Spotted looking chic

NICOLE SCHERZINGER is spotted in Kentucky – 4,000 miles away from her Pussycat Dolls bandmates back in London.

While Nicole looked chic in a polka dot dress as she sang the US national anthem at Saturday’s Kentucky Derby, Ashley Roberts and Kimberly Wyatt were busy going through their paces during rehearsals.

The Dolls, who are now a trio, kick off their reunion tour in California in a month’s time, before shows on this side of the Atlantic in September.

If their tour is anything like their shows back in the day, they will have a lot of dance moves to learn between now and then.

HE came second on Eurovision at 2022 with his song Space Man.

Now Sam Ryder is gunning for a first place finish, after signing up to BBC series Celebrity Race Across The World.

And he is in good company, as Came Here For Love singer Ella Eyre is also taking part.

A source said: “Sam loves a challenge and he wanted to test his mettle off stage.

“He signed up with his tour manager Kaz Coles.

“Ella also decided to give Celebrity Race Across The World a go after being tapped up by the casting team.

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“A challenge like this is definitely not in Ella’s comfort zone but she wanted to experience something new and push herself. Both Sam and Ella are competitive and they’re in it to win it.

“They filmed the show earlier this year but their fans will have to wait until it airs before they can see who did the best.”

Earlier this month, I revealed that Sky Sports legend Jeff Stelling had signed up to take part with his son Matt.

They’re also competing against Junior and Princess Andre — who are making their reality TV contest debut together.

On Friday, Sam was one of Chris Evans’ first guests on his new run of TFI Unplugged on Channel 4, to promote his telly series Your Song with Paloma Faith and Alison Hammond.

Sam’s show invites amateur singers to take to the stage in a live roadshow across the UK.

Sam explained: “It’s berserk. We go up and down the country, we bring a stage with us for people who have probably never sung in public before with a live band. They come, share a story and sing a song that’s attributed to that. The connection you see being made is beautiful.”

On working with Paloma and Alison, Sam joked: “They’re mad as a box of frogs but great to be around. All of our laughs are so cackly, it’s unreal.

“The three of us laughing together is like the Witches Of Eastwick.”

Sam added: “There is no winning a record deal. There is an event at the end of it and every singer is invited — they rinse the free bar, and a couple of people from each round perform on the night. That is the prize.

“It’s a show that’s got heart.”

LOOK MUM, I’M ALL SET

THERE is less than a month to go until Eurovision and the UK act is now out of the gates, with Look Mum No Computer giving his first live performance of zany track Eins, Zwei, Drei.

The singer– whose real name is Sam Battle – performed at the London Eurovision Party on Sunday night, but admitted it was a struggle to get there after becoming a dad less than a fortnight ago.

In an exclusive chat with Bizarre’s Howell, he confessed: “The concept of sleep is something I fondly miss.”

But it isn’t just his newborn Max who has taken up his time, as he has also built his set for the contest in Vienna.

The YouTuber and inventor said: “Just before we went to the hospital for the baby, I was finishing the props – making and soldering all the bits for Eurovision.

“I didn’t build all of the props – the BBC didn’t trust my welding! – but I’ve built the synthesiser bits for it, and it’s already on a lorry on the way to Vienna.”

Sam has also been working on his voice and dance moves as he prepares for the contest, which starts on May 12.

He added: “I’ve been singing, and I’ve also been working out. I just need to get my stamina up.”

On his staging, he said: “It’s quite complicated. There are some things that require coordination, which is not my forte. I’ve got two left feet.

But (choreographer) Benke Rydman, who I’m working with on the stage setup – he’s very much pushing my boundaries.”

Also at the event in London on Sunday was Boy George, who features on the San Marino act Senhit’s song Superstar.

He was in chipper spirits before the show and spent over an hour talking to journalists, so I’m sure he’ll be hoping to one-up our British act at the final on May 16.

ARNIE TO BACK AUSTRIA

HE is the most famous living Austrian and despite it being rather at odds with his macho persona, Arnold Schwarzenegger has been invited back to his home nation to attend the Eurovision final.

I’m told that organisers are preparing for the Terminator star to be in the audience at the Wiener Stadthalle in Vienna, with the hope that his presence will help celebrate Austrian culture and draw in viewers.

Arnie already has a surprising soft spot for the contest after meeting with 2022’s Ukrainian winners KALUSH ORCHESTRA and then starring in the music video to their song Shchedryi Vechir in 2023.

Reflecting on the response after they won, frontman Oleh Psiuk previously said: “In Los Angeles, we met Arnold, who has been actively supporting Ukrainians since the early days of the war.

“He invited us over to his house and came out to greet us with a pet donkey.

“We talked about the situation in Ukraine and thanked him for his support and shared how important it was to us.”

Unfortunately though, I don’t think the movie hero’s donkey will be coming with him to the final.

APPLE Music is getting behind Eurovision in a big way, with the streaming service conducting interviews with all the key stars which will air in the run-up to the event.

And you can get to the heart of this year’s songs on Apple Music’s Eurovision 2026 official playlist, which has translated and phonetic lyrics for each of the tracks.

NOW WOODY TELLS HIS OWN TOY STORY

WITH Toy Story 5 hitting cinemas on June 19, the bigwigs over at Mattel invited Bizarre to visit their top-secret studios in LA – where characters Woody and Buzz were once again working their magic before our eyes.

Nick Karamanos at Mattel revealed: “We are bringing to life what happened in Andy’s room for the first time.” (Andy is the central child character in the original film.)

And that means fans of the films won’t just hear Tom Hanks and Tim Allen voicing the characters on screen – they’ll be able to hear them having full-blown conversations in their own homes.

The new Toy Story 5 toy range lets Buzz and Woody actually talk to each other, with no imagination required.

And Hollywood star Tom’s brother Jim Hanks was brought into the studio to bring the speaking toy version of Woody to life.

Mattel designer Baxter Crane explained: “He sounds just like him (Tom), and he knows how to sound like him. He said, ‘To be Tom you’ve just got to yell more, like whatever you wanna say you’ve just got to yell it instead.’

“And it really worked – he sounds just like his brother.”

The craftsmanship behind it all is next level, with Nick revealing that Mattel still uses manual sewing machines to make the characters’ clothes.

Nick explained: “When we think about Toy Story and taking inspiration, a lot of it is just being true to what the characters are and what is the best way to bring them to life.”

It’s not just Toy Story characters being reimagined either, with Camila Mendes, Idris Elba and Nicholas Galitzine all working with Mattel to create figures for Masters Of The Universe.

Andy and his pals will go on sale this Sunday, just in time to get us all excited about the film’s release.

SECRET SOLO SPOT FOR STONES’ RONNIE

THE ROLLING STONES are coming back this summer with their new album Foreign Tongues – but I’m told any plans for Sir Mick Jagger, Keith Richards and Ronnie Wood to take the record on the road are still up for debate.

Despite this, I hear fans of the Stones will be able to see Ronnie in action at a top-secret gig later this year.

My music moles say he is putting on a special, intimate show at the O2 Forum in Kentish Town, London, on August 31.

They revealed: “Ronnie is doing a show and some big rock names will join him. This isn’t a Stones gig, so it’s not with Mick and Keith, it’s other well-known industry names.

“So far, he’s got Imelda May on board to sing and Ronnie is currently talking to other artists about getting involved.

“He absolutely loves to play live. The show should be announced next week, with tickets on sale soon after.”

Confirming the gig, Ronnie told me: “I’m looking forward to kickin’ ass with my back catalogue and some new songs – look out London!”

I revealed last month that the band was back with a brand new record, and that the legends had signed up actress Odessa A’Zion to star in their comeback video.

Last week, they proved their fan base is still crazy for their music. The Stones released an ultra-limited white label vinyl single, Rough And Twisted, under the alias The Cockroaches – with all copies snapped up within seconds.

They are now being flogged online for more than a grand.

HUGH’S PREMIERE LEAGUE

HUGH JACKMAN and his actress girlfriend Sutton Foster couldn’t have looked happier as they attended his latest movie premiere – three years after he split from his wife.

The Greatest Showman actor stepped out in a blue suit to the launch of The Sheep Detectives in New York City on Sunday evening, alongside Sutton in a sequin gown.

He moved on after his 27-year marriage to Deborra-Lee Furness came to an end, with their divorce finalised last summer.

SPORTY Spice Mel C pumps up the Girl Power as she flexes her muscles.

The singer, 52, wore a weightlifting belt, leotard and red high-heeled boots in a photoshoot for her new album cover.

Ninth solo studio album, Sweat, is out on May 1.

We revealed last month how the Spice Girls’ 30th anniversary reunion has been cancelled after they failed to pull their plans together in time.

Melanie C, Emma Bunton, Mel B and Geri Halliwell-Horner had been in talks, as well as Victoria Beckham, to reunite for a string of concerts to mark three decades since the release of their debut single Wannabe.

Confirming the news during an interview on The Smallzy Show on Australia’s KIIS Radio, Mel C, 52, said: “No, there is no reunion.

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“We are communicating all the time. We want to do something – who knows when.

“But I still feel very optimistic and I keep my fingers crossed that you will see the Spice Girls together at some point in the future.”

The Sun told last April how Geri, 53, was back in touch with the band’s former manager Simon Fuller and had flown out to Miami to try and agree on a deal.

As recently as January, Mel C had insisted they were still in active discussions about celebrating the milestone.

And even Victoria, 51, had prompted hopes she could return to the group, saying she “loves” the idea of a residency at Las Vegas venue Sphere.

She said in October of the prospect: “It would be tempting. But could I take on a world tour? No I can’t. I have a job…”