Portuguese

WITHIN minutes of landing at Madeira’s Cristiano Ronaldo International Airport, we were picked up by . . . Ronaldo.  

No, not that one, but a taxi driver who said he was actually named after former US President Ronald Reagan, not the footballer. 

And he wasted no time in pointing out one of the island’s most famous landmarks, another Ronaldo.  

The bronze statue of the footballer outside the Pestana CR7 hotel in Funchal, the island’s main town, is certainly memorable — not necessarily for the reasons the sculptor intended.  

The two-metre, 800kg statue has a noticeably polished groin. Rubbing this delicate spot is meant to bring good luck, so it was obviously important I gave it a try.  

But Madeira — a Portuguese archipelago in the North Atlantic — isn’t just a shrine to football greatness, it’s been attracting Brits long before free kicks and trophies.  

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According to our wonderfully knowledgeable guide, Graca Lopes, Victorians flocked here in the 19th Century for health reasons.  

Madeira’s mild, subtropical climate (16C to 22C year round) and pure air make it ideal for respiratory health. The wild volcanic views, lush forests and fresh sea air are great for mental health and longevity too. Anti- ageing and an escape from rainy Britain? Count me in!  

I’d heard Madeira described, slightly unfairly, as a haven for “energetic retirees with hiking poles”. And yes, there are plenty of older people and spectacular walks, but there’s definitely more on offer too. 

Madeira is surprisingly compact. At 35 miles long and 14 miles wide, it’s roughly the same size as Greater Manchester. 

The roads twist and climb at angles, often narrowing to only the width of a decent hallway. There is fun to be had on these winding roads on the island’s famous — and slightly bonkers — toboggan ride.  

It involves a wicker basket hurtling down steep streets from hilltop area Monte, steered by two men in straw hats using nothing but their shoes as brakes. It’s in equal parts terrifying and hilarious but in the 19th Century it was the quickest way to travel.  

There are plenty of other adventures to be had in Madeira. A Jeep safari along the rugged northeast coast, with AdventureLand tours, shows off the island at its most dramatic. 

One minute the open-sided truck is climbing steep, muddy tracks, the next you are looking out over sheer cliffs to the vast swathes of the Atlantic.  

The tour also includes a chance to admire the unique triangular-shaped houses at Santana with their traditional, red, white and blue paintwork and steep, thatched roofs. 

There’s whale and dolphin watching too. We spent the morning with Rota dos Cetaceos Tours. A marine biologist on board explained more about these incredible creatures. 

And for some of the most stunning beaches I’ve seen, take a day trip over to the neighbouring island of Porto Santo. It’s a two and a half hour ferry ride away but you’ll be rewarded with incredible beaches, including Calheta Beach, with its 9km of soft sands surrounded by unique rock formations. 

These adventures were complemented by our gorgeous base, The Vine, a sleek, stylish boutique hotel in the centre of Funchal. 

The interior design is inspired by wine. The furniture mimics twisted vines, there are grape-purple fabrics and the spa offers vinotherapy massages and facials.

The five-star hotel’s rooftop has a pool, Bali beds and bar, along with stunning views of the bay.

We took a walking tour of the town with guide Gracia. The cobbled streets lead to sea views and every corner seems to involve either food, history or both.  

One must-see is The Painted Doors of Rua de Santa Maria — where artists decorated 200 of the street’s doors as it rises to the church of Santa Maria Maior. 

In the picturesque fishing village of Câmara de Lobos we had lunch at the Restaurante Vila do Peixe. With incredible views, customers can choose fish fresh from the counter. The platter is around £35. 

Another traditional treat is the tipple ­poncha. According to locals it’s the answer to any problems life can throw at you. 

Got a cold? Poncha. Heartbreak? Poncha. Existential dread? Double poncha. 

By day two I was fairly certain it could also strip paint and power small machinery. 

We had dinners at various restaurants including the Three House Bake — a boutique hotel, restaurant and rooftop bar with a DJ and BBQ in Funchal town.  

The Jard.in Magnólia in Quinta Magnólia, a 19th Century estate with huge botanical gardens, served up a great steak and seabass with lime risotto, with prices from around £22 for a main.

But Avista, probably the poshest restaurant in Funchal, set on a clifftop, was sensational.

The staff were incredible and the food was too. We had a seven-course pairing menu that featured Algarve red prawns, black Angus steak tartare and a chocolate tangerine dessert. 

The tasting menu isn’t cheap, at around £80pp, but it’s definitely one for a special celebration.  

Our final day saw us exploring a levada walk — unique hiking experiences using Madeira’s 1,350miles of 15th Century irrigation channels that now double as scenic trails.  

There’s a huge variety of walks that promise strolls among lush forests, dramatic mountain scenery and stunning waterfalls. 

Among the most popular is the Levada das 25 Fontes, a popular trail near Rabaçal leading to a cascading waterfall lagoon. 

And then, just like that, it was time to leave. A final breakfast, a last look at the sea, and I’m back at the airport half expecting Ronaldo (either one) to wave me off.

Sadly, neither does. But Madeira has already done enough to win me over. 

JUST off the coast of Portugal is a tiny archipelago that very few tourists visit, or even know about.

The little-known collection of Berlenga Islands consists of three islands – Berlenga Grande, Estelas and Farilhões-Forcado

Berlengas is primarily a nature reserve, home to lots of birds like the yellow-legged gull, guillemot, and sea life which you might spot while snorkelling.

Due to it being protected, and reasonably small, the islands have a daily limit of 550 visitors – and it can only be accessed between March and October.

With the weather this time between 18C and 25C, it’s the perfect time to visit and spend time on its beach – which is one of the prettiest in Europe.

This is Praia da Berlenga Grande, which is also the most famous beach on the island and ideal for relaxing on the golden sands.

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It’s also a good spot for swimming with one visitor saying the clear waters reminded them ‘of the Caribbean‘.

Just be prepared for it to be chill, seeing as the islands are in the Atlantic Ocean.

National Geographic called it one of Portugal’s best beaches with ‘desert vibes’.

One visitor advised to visit in September as it was quieter and they had the beach all to themselves for an hour.

Another popular way to explore the island is by boat with plenty of tours throughout the day.

Bobbing around on the water means you can see the caves that have naturally formed into the cliffside.

One of Berlengas’ most famous rock formations is the Elephant’s Trunk – which literally looks like an elephant’s head and trunk which dips into the ocean.

Another is Dream Cave, or Cova do Donho, which is where fishermen used to spend the night because of its calmer waters.

Visitors can actually stay on the island if they wish and enjoy quieter evenings when the daytrippers leave.

There’s a hotel called Berlenga Bed & Breakfast which has just five rooms and sits on the clifftop so it has incredible views across the ocean.

You can check them out from the hotel’s pretty terrace bar and restaurant.

Anyone feeling brave and wants to sleep within nature can camp out at Forte São João Baptista.

The island’s fort has camping spots and is said to give an “immersive, authentic experience”.

Visitors can sleep in an old cell and have to bring their own sleeping bags or bedding.

There’s a campsite too where visitors can literally pitch up with their own tent with rates from €8 (£6.92) per night – pitches must be booked in advance with the tourist board.

As for how to get there, ferries go to the island three times from Peniche.

The journey between the mainland and the island takes around 30-minutes with tickets costing between £15 and £35.

Get Your Guide has tours on offer to explore the island, like a Cave Tour from €41 (£35.48).

There are also catamaran tours with snorkelling stops from €42 (£36.35) and round-trip boat tours of the islands from €29 (£25.10).

Peniche is a just over an hour’s drive from Lisbon which has direct UK flights for as little as £15.

For more islands, here are some of the most beautiful in Europe with direct UK flights and some of the world’s best beaches.

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