Paynes

LOUIS Tomlinson has opened up about the death of Liam Payne and has revealed he’s struggling to come to terms with it.

Pop star Liam tragically died after falling from a third-floor hotel balcony in Buenos Aires in October last year.

The pair were firm friends after being in One Direction together from 2010 and 2016 and they continued their friendship after the band split up.

Speaking about the grief of losing Liam, Louis told The Independent: “I naively thought that, at this point, I’d unfortunately be a little bit more well versed with grief than other people my age.

“I thought that might mean something, but it didn’t at all. It’s something I’ll never really accept. I don’t think.”

Louis is no stranger to grief, having lost his mum Johannah Deakin in 2016, when she died of leukaemia at the age of 43.

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Just three years later, his sister Félicité tragically died from an accidental overdose at the age of 18.

This isn’t the first time Louis has opened up about Liam as he recently spoke about him during an appearance on Steven Bartlett’s Diary of a CEO podcast.

He told the Dragons’ Den star: “I could just go on and talk all day about how amazing he was, but I think we all looked up to him.

“I don’t think we would have been brave enough to say at that age when I was in the bnd, I think I would’ve had too much pride, but we all looked up to him massively.”

Speaking about the devastating moment he found out about Liam’s death, Louis said: “In the car, in LA. I found out through Niall [Horan].

“I had the same feeling that I had with Felicity, and I think anyone has this when they’re around someone who’s struggling; my 150 per cent wasn’t nearly enough.

“And that’s when it’s my own arrogance thinking that I could have helped really, because it was so much deeper than what I could have done for him. He was definitely struggling at that time in his life.”

Liam had flown to Argentina with girlfriend Kate Cassidy for a five-day holiday, to see his ex-1D bandmate Niall Horan in concert.

Liam extended the trip but Kate returned home to the US.

It is claimed Liam then turned to drink and drugs.

One Direction were formed on The X Factor in 2010, with Louis and Liam being joined in the band by Harry Styles, Niall Horan and Zayn Malik, who quit the band in 2015.

The boys came third on the ITV show and went on to sell over 70 million records worldwide, making them one of the best-selling boy bands of all time.

LIAM Payne’s devastated sister has taken a swipe at people seemingly using his death for fame.

Just hours after his girlfriend at the time of his passing Kate Cassidy shared a video of her “last dance” with the late star on the anniversary of his death, Liam’s sister Ruth took to social media.

Taking a swipe about people “using his death for fame” in her moving tribute for Liam on the one year anniversary of his death, Ruth didn’t hold back.

“Everyone only seems interested in the public side of this.

“Some sadly seem more interested in the fame they can gain off this, but on the human side people need to remember when they speak, there is a son without his Dad, parents without their child and I am lost without my brother,” she said.

This comes after a video was shared of Liam lifting his girlfriend Kate Cassidy in a final dance before his tragic death.

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Heartbroken Kate, 26, posted a clip on social media on Thursday night of the ex-1D singer attempting to hoist her up.

On the one-year anniversary of Liam’s death in Argentina, Kate wrote: “This video was taken during the last hour and last day Liam and I shared in this lifetime.

“I am forever grateful for the beautiful moments we shared. I will miss you for the rest of my life Liam.”

Elsewhere in Ruth’s tribute for her late brother, she said: “1year, 12months, 52weeks, 365days… whichever way I say it, it still means the most heartbreaking truth that you’re not here any more.

“When you used to go away on tour, and l’d cry that you’d be gone for a while, I always knew you’d come back, but now I can’t get you home, I can’t meet up with you somewhere in the world, I can’t facetime or text to see how you’re doing, it’s an eternal homesick feeling because we can’t go back.”

She continued: “I underestimated grief, woah did I underestimate it.

“I am paralysed by it daily. I thought I had felt it before but I know the losses before you were just intense sadness, you are the loss of my life, the one person who l will miss at every single occasion in my life.

“I’d taken for granted that my little brother would be there through life, what a cruel lesson to learn in our 30s, that a sibling is not guaranteed to be a lifer, that I have to face this without you.”

Ruth went on: “Your death will never make sense, no matter how much I study it, whatever angle I look at it, it never makes sense. You shouldn’t have died. 

“I have a reoccurring nightmare where I am in your hotel room just before it happened and you can’t hear me screaming for you, my brain is locked on your last minutes on this earth, the unaccounted minutes, the minutes I will never have the answers to, the minutes that changed everything.

“So much has happened in a year, so much to tell you, our kids have changed massively, you would continue to be in awe of your son!

“I’ve definitely got funnier (I know you’re thinking how is that possible right?!) – some of the jokes I make really make me smile because I know they would have earned me a ‘ruuu’ off you, l’ve visited some beautiful places but each place has confirmed, no matter the view, I will still feel your void from all corners of the earth.”

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She later added: “I think of my grief as a clock, I explained to you years ago when I was nagging you to be better at answering your phone, that my head was like the ‘Weasley’s clock’ out of Harry Potter, where it would check everyone in our family in before I could switch off and with you travelling the world, it’d really need your confirmation of being safe and sound before I’d settle. 

“Only now, there is a number missing off the clock, which means nothing in my days makes sense and it feels like noone is safe and sound.”