I went to the famous UK nightclub loved by Margot Robbie
OVER the past four years, I have lived in the ‘danger zone’ of Infernos nightclub in South London yet somehow managed to avoid visiting it.
But this past weekend, in the name of journalism (and perhaps self-sabotage) I finally crossed the threshold after Hollywood royalty, Margot Robbie, confessed her love for the venue.
In fact, the actress – who is currently celebrating the release of her latest film Wuthering Heights – admitted to signing the lease on a house just down the road from Infernos, because it was close to the club.
Infernos has welcomed partygoers since the 1980s, previously named Cinatra’s, before it became the famous Infernos in the 90s.
Since then, it has become somewhat of an institution for London newbies moving to Clapham, with other young celebs even including Lola Tung being spotted inside (as well as the lads from Inbetweeners after it doubled as Malia in the movie).
Despite only opening on Friday and Saturday nights, it has remained one of London’s most popular clubs – so what is it really like inside?
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The Sun’s Travel team have spent their own time there – Deputy Travel Editor Kara Godfrey said: “I lived in South London for more than eight years, so that included a trip to the famous nightclub.
“It’s safe to say I only went a few times. Call it a ‘rite of passage’ if you will, it’s the kind of place where you go in with great intentions, and come out with a drained bank account, wet hair from thrown drinks, missing half your friends and a shoe, before passing out at one of the few kebab shops still open at 3am”.
Assistant Travel Editor Sophie Swietochowski echoed this: “Infernos is like Disneyland for 20-somethings.
“I’m a terrible dancer, but here no one cares. The only rule is make sure you’ve fuelled well at pre-drinks and come with an anything-is-possible attitude.
“You don’t need to be cool to visit. And there are no hard rules. Want to let loose? Go for it. After a dancefloor snog? So is everyone else. Tight for cash? Brian, who you met just five minutes ago will probably buy you a drink – because that’s just the type of friendly and deliriously happy environment this club fosters.”
Now, myself – I hate clubbing. I don’t like the crowds, the cost of it or the conversations that feel more like talking to your deaf grandmother.
And one thing you should probably know about Infernos is that most nights, its queue snakes down Clapham High Street, as it tries to fit in as many as the 1,500 capacity allows.
And that’s before you fork out as much as £20 for entry.
My night started off pretty well – not only did the queue move pretty quickly even at 11pm, but I was left disappointed by the lack of sticky carpets I was so-warned about.
There are two rooms to choose from – the main club and the 70s vibe ‘Discotheque’.
I squeezed past finance bros chugging VKs to the massive dancefloor, where hundreds of mid-twenty-somethings danced to noughties throwbacks like Beautiful Girl by Sean Kingston and Black Eyed Peas’ I Gotta Feeling.
It has all the makings of a cheesy nightclub from the discoball DJ booth to the dancing podiums on either side.
Waiting my turn from the revolving wannabe-dancers of the podiums, I took to one myself.
Any embarrassment I thought I would feel from essentially dancing on a table top in front of the club was quickly gone.
For a few minutes, I scream-sing, becoming feral and questionably moving to the music.
I hopped off on a buzz, before being replaced by another woman wearing an outfit much more appropriate for the dancing occasion.
The debauchery continues over at the two ‘Kissing Corners’.
I watched clubbers linger as if they were auditioning to be on Love Island – just Clapham’s own version.
My courage did fail me here, having never aspired to become a Love Islander, although I may have yelled “I’ve got a text” just to get away from it all.
Not that anyone would have believed me – the lack of mobile phone service in Infernos means you have no hope of contacting any lost members of the group.
If you feel you have swayed too close to the dark side, then tucked away in another corner of the vast club is, bizarrely, a confessional booth.
I lined up to confess to the ‘priest’ although sadly my sin was not sin-worthy enough. If it had been, I’d have been rewarded my own sacramental wine in the form of a shot.
It’s here I spotted a Blue Plaque too – Margot’s very own shrine installed about six months ago.
My plans to leave the club by 1am had already been thwarted by this point, but there were more surprises in store.
If you manage to stay until 1:30am, you’ll be there for the balloon drop too, another nod to teenage nostalgia.
After venturing around every corner of this chaotic club, why Margot loves Infernos became clear.
In a world of nights out curated for Instagram, Infernos is unapologetically itself and invites everyone who visits to be the same.
It’s a fever dream experience where unseriousness is celebrated and you become just another member of the crowd.
Most people say Infernos is grotty, unhinged, sticky-floored and expensive (a double G&T is £12, while cloakrooms are £3.50 per item).
Though they all come to the same conclusion that it is a great night out.
Will I return soon? Let’s not be dramatic.
But if Margot Robbie felt even the slightest bit of liberation that came with being unashamedly yourself, then I finally understand the appeal.
Staggering out at 3am – I think I did Margot proud. Even I didn’t get thrown out like she did…
In other travel news, here are the 50 best bars around the UK.
Plus, here’s a very extensive list of London’s 35 best pubs – by the locals who drink in them.