Former MP Kate Kniveton bravely opens up about the decade of abuse she endured at the hands of her ex-husband and Conservative MP Andrew Griffiths who raped her while she was sleeping
As violence against women and girls reaches epidemic levels with police receiving a domestic abuse call every 30 seconds, one woman is telling her deeply personal story and making it her mission to stand up for victims of domestic abuse.
Former Conservative MP for Burton in Staffordshire, Kate Kniveton, 54, warns how domestic abuse can affect absolutely anybody – regardless of their background or profession – after she endured a decade of abuse at the hands of her ex Tory MP husband.
Bravely waving her right to anonymity, she also shines a light on the abuse many survivors endure long after the relationship has ended and how family courts are letting down vulnerable children.
“People don’t think it can happen to professional middle-class people – but domestic abuse has no boundaries, it can affect absolutely anybody,” Kate says. “When I was elected I made a promise to be an advocate of victims of domestic abuse. I am traumatised – not just by the 10 years of abuse I experienced – but the following five years where he continued to use the legal system to abuse me.”
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The former MP explains how easy it is for women to get sucked in and find themselves stuck in unhealthy relationships. “He was very personable, charming and charismatic,” she says about her abusive ex Andrew Griffiths. “In hindsight I can see there were warning signs – but I always put it down to him being under a lot of pressure.
“For most people looking in from the outside our relationship was perfect, but the abuse had been going on for several years. Every time I said I was going to go to the police, I’m going to report you, he’d always say, ‘Nobody would believe you, Kate. I’m the MP here. I’ve got a great relationship with the police — they all think I’m the blue-eyed boy.'”
But behind closed doors things were not what they seemed. Kate recalls how her husband would rape her in her sleep and scream abuse at their two-month old baby. “It would start when I was asleep – I’d wake up and he would have started having sex with me,” she recalls.
“Sometimes I’d just think ‘let it carry on’ but there would be other times when I would cry. And those times he’d sometimes stop – not all times – but then he’d be in a foul mood if he did. I remember he’d be kicking me until he kicked me out of bed. And I would go into our spare room and barricade myself in another room for the night or leave the house.”
A turning point was when she realised their two-week-old child was also in danger. “I still hoped Andrew could change but when our baby was just two weeks old I realised that the abuse may not stop with me,” she adds. “He was up early in the morning to catch a train back down to Westminster and our baby started crying for a feed. He turned round and said ‘shut the F up’ and it was said with such force and aggression – and he tried to make out afterwards that he was just tired – but it was just a baby.”
Ironically, her abusive ex-husband campaigned for women’s rights – but in 2018 – Griffiths made the headlines when he got caught sexting two constituents – later resigning from his position. Kate took the opportunity to leave the family home but then had to fight the family courts to stop Griffiths from seeing their child.
Then in 2019 – some 18 months after the sexting scandal – Kate stood as an MP against her ex husband and won. Griffiths was found to have raped and physically abused his wife by a family court judge in 2021. Griffiths denies raping Kate.
Kate tells her story in a new ITV1 and ITVX documentary, Breaking The Silence: Kate’s Story, where she speaks in-depth for the first time about the decade of abuse she endured at the hands of her ex-husband. In it she is also keen to shed light on the problem with family courts – where an estimated 30,000 cases each year involve allegations of domestic abuse.
Many survivors report feeling retraumatised and disbelieved by the very process meant to protect them. Kate and other survivors share their experiences, voicing deep concerns that the courts often fail to safeguard children from violent ex-partners.
Dr Charlotte Proudman, who was Kate’s barrister in the family court, explains in the film, “It’s very common, even when there are convictions for domestic abuse offences, for a parent to be granted regular unsupervised contact with their child.”
This comes five years on from the Ministry of Justice’s Harm Report, which warned that the family courts were putting children’s safety at risk – yet many of its key recommendations still remain unimplemented. It’s an alarming reality reinforced by Women’s Aid, whose latest report found that 67 children have been killed in the UK in the past 30 years during contact visits with a known domestic abuser.
In the film, Kate also meets with Jess Phillips MP, the newly appointed Minister for Safeguarding and VAWG, to discuss the urgent reforms needed to better protect survivors and their children. Jess tells her, “So much of what happens in the domestic abuse space is so hidden from the public’s view. I think if people knew half of what you and I have seen, there’d be pitchforks… there is absolutely loads to do — it’s so ingrained, whether it’s in the court system or how councils commission local refuge and support services.”
The Ministry of Justice responded to allegations raised in the film: “Any case involving the death of a child is a tragedy, and our sincere condolences go out to the families [affected]. We will see where improvements can be made to the Family Court system to help prevent these awful crimes.” They added that work is ongoing to ensure the family court is safe for children and families, highlighting the Pathfinder pilot to improve outcomes in private law cases.
At the final hearing in January 2024, Griffiths accepted all the findings of abuse found by the family court, except that of rape. However, when asked to respond to this programme he said: “I have always denied the allegations made. The Family Court has a much lower burden of proof and has always been private and confidential.
“The Family Court has failed our child. Publication of salacious allegations can only harm the children. Every child has the right to have both parents in their lives. I will never stop fighting to be a father to my child, and to demonstrate to them just how much I love them.”
Breaking The Silence: Kate’s Story, Sunday 20th July at 10.20pm on ITV1 & ITVX.
For confidential support, call the 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Freephone Helpline on 0808 2000 247 or visit womensaid.co.uk.
