Cruise ships

We boarded the P&O Cruises sailing around Canary Islands and Madeira with a previous cruise experience in mind – but P&O Cruises offered a completely unexpected holiday

‘I get seasick when I am on a rowing boat’.

Those 10 words from my friend Paul filled me with dread as we prepared for our first ever cruise together. He was a cruise virgin having always avoided a holiday on board a ship due to seasick fears and the idea of not being in one place for very long.

My last cruise was 25 years plus ago so we were definitely newbies as we boarded P&O’s Azura in the Port of Santa Cruz following a chartered flight from Gatwick to Tenerife. But we had decided to take the leap of faith in a bid to soak up some winter sunshine, relax and explore the Canary Islands and Madeira.

This kicked off with a trip to Tenerife’s Mount Teide where we were immediately hit by the contrast of winter underfoot and the sunshine hitting our skin. Following a bumpy and exhilarating cable car journey towards the summit of the 3,715 metre high volcano we emerged onto the crisp snow that crunched under every step.

Just minutes earlier we had been at the bottom among ashen, molten rock on a lunar landscape more at home on Mars or the Moon. Our guide explained that they had experienced more rain and snow than in many many a year, but this just added to the breath-taking scenery.

However each destination offers something different with a whole host of excursions available. Regular cruisers told us the excursions and the entertainment on sea days are what sets this cruise apart and we really could not disagree.

Our other excursions on Gran Canaria and then Lanzarote continued the theme of feeling like you are stepping off the boat onto another planet. We visited Timanfaya National Park on Lanzarote where a 40-minute bus tour takes you through lunar landscape shaped by eruptions towards the park’s Islote de Hilario where geothermal demonstrations wow the crowds of tourists and chickens are cooked on BBQs using the volcanic heat. In Gran Canaria we did a two-hour walking guided tour around the edge of a volcano where we again mixed ash, molten rock and thriving greenery before heading to a vineyard to sample local wines and cheeses.

Thankfully the destination days were separated by two sea days which allowed us to recover from exploring the islands and discover everything the Azura had to offer. It is one of the largest cruise liners in the P&O fleet with more than 1500 cabins spread across 14 decks which also include five pools, a gym, a spa, a casino, theatre as well as several restaurants and bars.

It meant there was plenty of opportunity for us to unwind and indulge – and there was not even the smallest of suggestion that Paul was going to be seasick . We spent several hours in the modern and well-equipped gym but it was the spa that was the real special retreat with an adult-only pool, jacuzzi, sauna and plenty of treatments.

The escape from the sun-kissed bustling decks was welcome before the highlight of dining and then on to more exploring – this time trying out the nightlife onboard!

When it came to food, there was an impressive amount of choice, but one must-visit is the sophisticated Epicurean which offers fine dining and makes you feel at home for the black-tie evenings. The dishes are not just beautifully presented but the taste was exceptional and the whole experience felt extremely luxurious.

Other highlights included Sindhu which is a stylish Indian eatery, the Beach House offering Caribbean and Mexican style dishes (which includes the stand-out Fillet steak served on a lava rock), as well as The Oriental featuring a mix of British and global dishes.

It was this variety – not just for dining – but across the whole experience which saw us converted to cruise enthusiasts. There really is something for everyone and something for every budget. You can mix fine dining and extravagant excursions or you can mix the buffet with exploring the islands yourself. You can relax by the pool and bars or head to the spa.

You can work out in the gym and swim or you can soak up the sun on the decks. You can try quizzes, the casino, sports and much more. It seems to be perfect for couples, friends, families, as you truly can make what you want out of the holiday.

In the meantime, I know for sure that I won’t be leaving it another 25 years before I board my next cruise.

Book the holiday

Prices for the Spain, Portugal & Canary Islands cruise (N617) start from £1,299pp, sailing 14-nights on a roundtrip from Southampton on 18 July onboard Ventura, based on two people sharing an inside cabin. Book on pocruises.com.

I went behind the scenes on a Marella cruise and ended up getting a sneak peek at some of the rooms that the passengers usually don’t get to see

Cruises are made to feel effortless – from island-hopping, flowing cocktails to all-inclusive dining. But behind the scenes, an army of staff are working around the clock to keep things powered to the highest of stands.

For my first Caribbean cruise on board the Marella Discovery, I was given access to areas passengers don’t normally see. After getting to grips with the 11-deck vessel – home to nine restaurants, six bars and everything from mini golf, an escape room and a climbing wall to keep you entertained, it was time to see the ship from a new angle.

Here’s everything I learned…

Where the magic happens

Only a handful usually get to see the command centre of any ship; the bridge. Here, the Captain and his crew navigate these huge vessels from ‘parking’ in tight corners at the docks, to steering the course when out in the middle of the ocean. The view from the bridge was unlike anything I’d seen before, and quite impressive. We watched how the crew navigated as our ship docked among huge superyachts owned by millionaire (just to add that extra bit of pressure).

Your air con affects the speed of the ship

Next, I head into the engine room where a team operates the smooth running of five engines, two massive propulsion motors and multiple air-conditioning systems – working 24 hours a day. Modern cruise ships like the Marella Discovery distribute power to meet the demand. That means lighting, kitchens and even your cabin’s air con will play a role. “If we were in Alaska in the middle of the night, with no air con running, we could reach 24 knots,” one crew member explained. “But during the day, when everything’s in use, it drops to around 22.” At full speed, the ship burns around 8,000 litres of fuel an hour. Efficiency is key.

It all comes out in the wash

In the laundry room, staff wash around 1000 towels a day with industrial machines and steam presses. It’s not just the passengers who are catered for. In these rooms tucked out of sight, the crew’s immaculately white uniforms are maintained. Since that’s a lot of similar looking clothing, every item is labelled with a unique number to make sure they go back to the right person.

The show must go on

As a theatre fan, I couldn’t wait to get up on the stage of the Broadway Show Lounge – from a view not many get to see. Behind the curtain, the performers do more than just sing and dance. I learned that they handle their own props, do their own hair and make-up, and of course all of the warm-ups they undergo. In the dressing room, wigs, hairspray and hairpins fill every space, but among the seeming chaos there’s a strong camaraderie. After working with each other for three months at sea at a time, it’s clear the performers are like family.

The motion in the ocean might be in your head

Unlike the seasoned sailor, I admit that being a cruise-newbie means I feel the ship moving especially at night. However, according to the crew, the tilting is far less dramatic than I was expecting. Thanks to stabilisers, the ship can only ever move to a maximum of one degree either side. “We keep your soup in your bowl and your drinks in your glasses,” one jokes.

The most eaten food on board? It’s not what you’d expect

I got a chance to see the ship’s galley – the central multi-floor hub of the ship where thousands of meals are prepared every single day. A team of 101 chefs work around the clock to fuel up 1800 passengers and 700 crew members every single day. The head chef shows me what is known as ”the manual’, a list of detailed recipes for every single food item on the menu – ensuring the exact same meal can be recreated anywhere in the TUI fleet. Around 3,600 meals are served at lunch and dinner, but breakfast is the real peak with passengers get through a staggering 7000 dishes a day. The most popular food on board? Eggs. Around 2,300 are served up at breakfast alone – that’s a lot of omelettes.

The customer service is down to a tea

It’s not just the big systems that are carefully thought out on Marella. As an avid Yorkshire tea drinker, I was thrilled to see the boat was well stocked even in the Caribbean. One crew member told me it’s something that was introduced after passenger feedback and quickly became a staple.

Book the holiday

Marella Cruises offers a seven-night Tropical Isles round trip from La Romana, Dominican Republic on Marella Discovery from £1573 per person. Price based on two adults sharing a Deck 2/3 inside cabin on an all-inclusive basis. Includes flights from London Gatwick, 20kg of luggage per person, transfers, tips, and service charges. Find out more at tui.co.uk/cruise.

If you’re planning a cruise holiday this summer, it’s crucial to know the prohibited items list – and one travel expert has shared five things that could be confiscated

Summer is just around the corner, and millions of Britons are busy planning their getaways. Cruises are a wonderful way to explore the world – but if you’re setting sail, it’s vital to know precisely what you can and cannot bring on board.

Packing can be a stressful experience – but knowing what’s permitted and what isn’t puts you one step ahead. Will Sarson, a travel expert with cruise operator Riviera Travel, has revealed the five items you cannot bring aboard a cruise to make your trip that bit smoother, reports the Express.

He said: “When packing for a cruise holiday, it’s important to do your research to understand the list of prohibited items. This can help better planning while packing and help avoid disappointment when items are confiscated.”

His first item to leave behind is alcohol. While not outright banned, many cruise companies have restrictions to prevent passengers bringing their own supply. He said: “Often, travellers are restricted to just a single bottle of wine or champagne – with potential corkage fees for drinking in public spaces.

“With so much alcohol available on board, we recommend leaving the bottles at home to avoid further costs and instead making use of the available liquor found throughout the ship and at varying ports across the world.” His second item to leave at home is your clothes steamer or iron.

Will explained: “Many cruise liners do not allow irons or steamers onboard as they pose a fire hazard. This is an item that constantly catches people out, with travellers forced to part ways with their iron or steamer.

“To avoid disappointment, it’s best to leave these items at home. Many ocean and river cruises have irons or steamers onboard that can be borrowed by guests during their stay.”

Similarly, candles and incense are prohibited owing to the fire risk they present. Cruise personnel will seize these straight away – so it’s advisable to leave them behind.

If you’re fond of your CBD oil, you’re in good company – it’s an extremely popular wellness product for assistance with muscle pain and mental health, but due to its varying legality worldwide, it’s forbidden on cruises. Will stated: “While the product is 100% legal for sale and tender throughout the UK, this is not the case in certain cruise ship stop-off destinations. As a result, the substance is not allowed on board the ship.

His final recommendation may seem entirely self-explanatory, but according to Will, a lot of people don’t realise their pets cannot come with them on their cruise.

He said: ” You’d be surprised at how many people try to gain access to their cruise alongside pets. Domestic animals are typically not allowed on cruises due to the allergy risk and general health and safety aspects that come with allowing cats or dogs on board.”

His final suggestion may appear completely obvious, but according to Will, many people don’t realise their pets cannot accompany them on their cruise.

He stated: “You’d be surprised at how many people try to gain access to their cruise alongside pets. Domestic animals are typically not allowed on cruises due to the allergy risk and general health and safety aspects that come with allowing cats or dogs on board.

“However, animals such as guide dogs are granted access due to the medical assistance they provide. If you’re a pet owner with a cruise holiday booking, it’s best to seek arrangements for your animals, as they generally won’t be allowed to join you on board.”

Reddit users claiming to be cruise ship crew members have shared wild behind-the-scenes stories ranging from shooting incidents and man overboard emergencies to fake kidnapping scams and lifestyle cruises

As temperatures across Europe gradually begin to rise, cruise season is almost upon us – and with it come the horror stories.

From tales involving enormous vessels, crew members, alcohol, rowdy passengers, mechanical breakdowns and behind-the-scenes crises, sailing season brings all of this and considerably more besides.

While passengers are almost always guaranteed a fantastic time on a cruise, for those working onboard, life at sea can be equally colourful and chaotic.

And that’s precisely what some viral Reddit threads are bringing to light.

Offering a candid glimpse into life working aboard a cruise ship, Reddit users claiming to be both current and former crew members are lifting the lid on industry secrets, spilling the details across various online forums.

The stories shared on these no-holds-barred subreddit threads range from utterly outrageous to downright deadly, painting a vivid picture of how life on the high seas can bring its fair share of turbulent waters, reports the Express.

On the subreddit AskReddit, one user posed the question: “Cruise Ship workers of reddit, what was the biggest “oh s***” moment on the boat, that luckily, passengers didn’t find out about at all?”

With the slate wiped clean (pun intended), one Reddit user recounted their tale: “Water pipe burst in a store room and soaked ALL of the spare toilet paper. This was on day 2 of a 14 day voyage to Antarctica. The cabin stewards had to swap around rolls of paper between “low use” and “high use” guest cabins and it came right down the wire. None of the guests found out or realized. Now toilet paper is hidden in every cabin instead of a centralized location.”

Another Redditor remembered a frightening incident on board: “Somebody shot at the navigation bridge of the ship from the shore on my last ship, the bullet bounced off and hit my colleague on the hand (no real damage but it scares the hell out of her, ended up going home for a few weeks).

“While we waited for the local police to come on and investigate and take statements, guests were told we were delaying the departure to take on fresh water. I’m still shocked that never leaked out.”

One former cruise ship employee took a trip down memory lane as they recalled a chilling ‘man overboard’ incident: “I used to be a crew member, and one time a guy working at the front desk jumped overboard after a crew party.

“He was found a few hours later by the coast guard, and everybody was asked to be discrete in order to keep the cruise running smooth, and everything was fine until the captain came on the PA and said we were delayed because a crew member jumped overboard.

“Then the madness begins, rumors appear out of nowhere, and the rest of the cruise was pretty much guests asking what happened the whole time.”

The very same user then recounted another harrowing tale, writing: “A lot of s*** happens onboard, I could write a book, maybe even more than one.

“Another time a guy committed suicide in his cabin, and his family was onboard, including a little girl, but this time it didn’t leak to the guests. I saw the family as they were being escorted to the security office, felt so bad for them.”

The same person also revealed a rather outrageous incident involving a colleague who was dismissed after taking his drinking far too far: “A friend of mine got fired for getting wasted, got p***** and starting peeing all over his cabin while the security guys were there to take care of him.

“He spent the night in the little jail onboard [brig] before being dumped the next day in whatever port we were in.”

Throwing fuel on the fire, one Redditor commented on the now-viral thread: “There are small fires in places like the kitchens that happen somewhat regularly. Most of the time they’re controlled quickly and no one even knows they happened.

“People drop dead all the time, especially on some of the nicer lines that are basically floating retirement homes. Ironically it’s when there’s a survivable medical emergency that guests become aware of it, when they need to do an emergency evacuation either by tender boat or helicopter.”

The user went on to recount a jaw-dropping incident from their time working onboard, describing it as the “worst accident”.

They explained: “Probably the worst accident that happened during my tenure was when a kid literally put his eye out on a ball valve handle on one of the open decks. Pretty sure word spread quickly on that one though.”

It turns out that life on the open water isn’t quite the plain sailing experience many might expect.

In a separate subreddit named Cruise, another user put forward the question: “What’s the craziest story a crew member has told you?”

The responses got increasingly outrageous, with one Reddit user recalling: “A CD [Cruise Director] told a story about a DJ that got drunk and got on the ship’s intercom at like 3am and announced an abandon ship order to everyone. Pandemonium ensued.

:They now limit who has access to that system. He said the captain got on and tried to calm people down but a lot of people chose to sleep on the lido deck that night with their life jackets. The DJ was thrown into the brig [tiny cruise ship jail] and was met on shore by the authorities. (Not sure what agency).”

Another user cast their mind back to their very first cruise in the 90s, sharing the scam they were almost certainly subjected to: “We had a cabin attendant on our first cruise in the 90s tell us how his family was being held hostage and he needed tips to pay off the people….. he would leave extra tip envelopes every day on our beds.

“Every day he would update us on what the kidnappers were telling him and made us promise not to tell anyone because he could get fired. I knew he was scamming but I still tipped cause I was going to anyway. I felt bad he obviously was hard up enough to do that.

“My mom was a sad wreck the whole week worrying over his family. I remember telling mom that he was spending most of the tips on phone calls since he had so much information to relay to us each day about the ‘kidnappers'”

In an unexpected revelation for one cruise passenger, their perspective was transformed regarding an entirely different style of voyage: “We were on a ship the week after a “Lifestyle/clothing optional” theme cruise. We got into several conversations with different workers about the details of what was allowed and what was normal.

“(Clothes required in dining room, not many other places). We thought the clothing optional cruise was pretty interesting. Until a crew member explained what a true lifestyle cruise is.

“It’s for swingers. Some of the rules include you have to bring a partner with you on the ship. No solo cruisers. The kids play rooms are converted into adult play rooms for the week and mattresses cover the floors. You have to be invited to join someone on a mattress, you can’t just join in any current activity.”

The passenger continued, explaining they’d enquired with their waiter about how evening meals operated on these ‘Lifestyle Cruises’, with the waiter clarifying: “They [the guests] usually came to dinner the first night with whomever they brought with them. Every night after that it was usually someone new.

“I’m not sure how much was exaggeration but I don’t think much. Google lifestyle or swingers cruisers and there are some interesting cruises/cruisers out there.”