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THIS is easily the best way to ray-se your holiday game.

Swimming with stingrays on a sandbar in the Caribbean, a 25-minute boat trip from Grand Cayman.

Standing in the warm, waist-deep water amid dozens of these exotic animals is about as close to the ultimate relaxation as you can imagine.

They are totally conditioned to visitors, there’s very little danger of a Steve Irwin moment — and I found it hard to resist the chance to pose while kissing one, though it’s probably not the most ecologically sound thing to do.

The kiss was a bit sloppy and rubbery, but the stingray said she’d had worse.

There really is no better escape from our miserable weather than a Caribbean cruise, gleefully ticking the sun, sand and sea boxes.

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Your only questions are which ship, which ports and what to do when you’re not chilling with the fishes.

We were delighted to be on board Holland America’s Nieuw Statendam, which we joined in Fort Lauderdale, for a week-long voyage stopping in the Bahamas, Jamaica, Grand Cayman and Cozumel, an island just off the Mexican coast.

It’s a lovely ship, a nice size with just over 2,500 passengers, and all the bells and whistles you would expect in such a luxury floating hotel.

We loved the Crow’s Nest, the top-deck bar which is the place to be on a sea day, sampling cocktails and deciding which of the many restaurants to eat in that evening, while wondering who those people are who actually spend time in the admittedly well-equipped gym.

We could see people sweating away in there while we went for a stroll around the open decks, stepping carefully over the jogging track and gently bickering over how much to spend playing roulette in the casino.

That is the key point of cruising. It is not normal. Normal life doesn’t have free food at every turn (and free drinks if you invest in the Have It All package) — and if you’re not cruising you don’t pitch up at a private island in the Bahamas very often.

Holland America’s Half Moon Cay featured gorgeous, white-sand beaches to sunbathe on or snorkel off, a friendly bar, a tasty BBQ and, best of all . . . sea horses.

Sorry, not sea horses, but horses that go in the sea. It was truly exhilarating, riding around the paddock and beach first before heading into the water on horseback — and galloping, then swimming through the waves, with no fear of falling off as you’re guaranteed a soft landing.

One fellow rider asked how well the horses were looked after, and got the reassuring response from an animal welfare point of view: “Better than the staff!”

From Half Moon Cay, it was next stop Jamaica, making port in Ocho Rios on the north of the island.

There really are lots of options and excursions for you to pick over and plan for here before you board, including ziplining for the adventurous, river rafting — and the classic, climbing Dunn’s River Falls.

We opted for the waterfalls and it was a lot of fun, going up the river in small groups with everyone buzzing, laughing, splashing and helping each other over the tougher bits (they’re not that tough, I’m an unfit sixty-something and coped).

Reward yourself with a tasty ice-cream at the end before making the short trip back to the ship.

And the options for amusement on board are just as varied. Sit back and enjoy more laughter with a top comedian, take in a bit of live music or a show — and dance the night away.

Or pit your wits in a quiz, challenge your partner to a game of chess, watch a movie or simply sit back and relax with a good book.

Nieuw Amsterdam also offers a host of options for both live and recorded entertainment, and a packed programme of talks and activities.

We had great nights enjoying the live shows in B.B. King’s Blues Club, with the talented All-Stars house band making music and memories, though I do need to find a better quiz team as our pre-show performance in the general-knowledge tester was sadly lacking.

We also enjoyed treat meals and wines in The Pinnacle Grill, Tamarind and Morimoto by Sea, all well worth the supplement — though the standard of cuisine is excellent throughout the vessel, from the buffet to the main dining rooms, and not forgetting the essential late-night pizza availability after watching movies by moonlight on the open deck.

Our last port of call before sailing back to Florida was Cozumel, a charming if tourist-centric island a short ferry ride from the Mexican mainland.

Again, build up your anticipation of your cruise by selecting activities before you go.

We had tough decisions to make, I was well up for going to watch a Lucha Libre show — you know, the Mexican wrestling where they wear masks and get all acrobatic.

Passengers who did go to that loved it, but we decided to stick with what we do best — swimming with things.

Having already snogged a stingray and gone galloping through the waves on horseback, this time we were off to get up close and personal with manatees.

They were terrific, crunching down on heads of lettuce — and a real highlight of this corker of a Caribbean cruise.

Wife Lucy loved them — but has a soft spot for a leathery-skinned, rotund, slow-moving mammal.

WHAT luck! We admire the northern royal albatross – his jet-black wings spanning more than three metres as he circles above our little tour boat.

“They love gliding on this south-westerly breeze,” says Rachel, captain of the Sootychaser.

But within seconds our attention switches as Rachel spots some adorable blue penguins — the smallest in the world — on the other side of the boat.

With fur seals, oyster catchers, black swans and sooty shearwaters also ticked, this boat trip around Port Chalmers harbour in New Zealand’s South Island has turned into a wildlife adventure that keeps on giving.

Lady luck has been with me since I set out on a 12-night cruise from Sydney.

It was a bucket-list departure as we sailed past the Opera House on our way to Auckland on Norwegian Cruise Line’s ship, Norwegian Spirit.

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The Tasman Sea was unusually calm as Captain Nordin navigated Spirit into Milford Sound, a deep fjord with steep cliffs and gushing waterfalls, the low mist clearing to reveal a cloudless blue sky.

Cruising New Zealand’s scenic fiordlands, a vast, wild area at the bottom of the South Island, always promised to be a highlight of the trip and didn’t disappoint.

It was spectacular. From Milford we sailed past the softer scenery in Doubtful Sound — so-named because when Captain Cook was passing in 1770 he didn’t think his ship would get into it.

Last up was Dusky Sound, named by Cook as he first saw it as the sun set.
Port Chalmers is the nearest that most cruise ships can get to Dunedin, the Gaelic word for Edinburgh. “Scottish settlers travelled thousands of miles to this unknown land, but at least the weather was very familiar,” our guide Robert says with a laugh.

He’s not joking. We’re here in New Zealand’s summer, but the sky is grey and it is drizzling.

Things didn’t improve next day, when strong winds prevented Spirit getting into Lyttelton, the port for Christchurch.

Instead there was a day at sea with fabulous views as we sailed past snowy peaks.

I also worked up a sweat in Spirit’s thermal suite and followed up with an altogether different spirit — a margarita in Magnum’s, my favourite bar.

Built in 1998 and with room for just under 2,000 passengers, Spirit is NCL’s oldest and smallest ship, but looking very spruce after a £89million refurb in 2020.

They doubled the size of the spa, updated cabins, turned a waterpark at the back of Deck 10 into an adults-only area and added so many more places to eat and drink that it took me a week to try them all.

As NCL is the king of cruising casual, I booked whichever restaurant I fancied instead of being told when or where to eat, or what to wear. Jeans in the restaurant at dinner? No problem.

Steaks in Cagney’s, noodles in Silk, pasta in Onda by Scarpetta, stir-fry straight off the griddle in the fun Teppanyaki, and a superb Coq au Vin in the Bistro — I munched my way through the lot of them.

They were all really good (top marks went to the Bistro) and usually cost extra, but I paid nothing, thanks to NCL’s generous Free At Sea package.

It includes free meals in up to four speciality restaurants on cruises over nine nights (fewer nights nets fewer restaurants) as well as covering drinks and wifi and giving USD$50 (around £38) off the cost of shore excursions.

There were plenty of included places to eat as well.

Taste, one of two main dining rooms, was good, and I liked the outdoor seating at the Garden Cafe (a posh name for the buffet), but The Local was my favourite, for its salads, burgers, fish and chips and chicken wings.

Outside, the weather was getting better and better, with sunshine and blue skies as we explored New Zealand’s North Island. Wellington, the capital, stole my heart with its relaxed feel, clean streets and waterfront bars.

I rode a cable car to the top of the botanic gardens and wandered back to town, admiring the exotic plants and trees along the way.

In Napier the next day, I joined a hike and wine tour up the lofty Te Mata Peak with guides Helen and Anne.

“We’ve learned from experience it’s good to do the wine after the walk,” says Helen.

Wise words. What started as an easy path from the car park got steeper as we climbed — one foot wrong and you would be tumbling down the grassy bank.

Panting with exertion, it was a joy to finally dive into four tipples, including a cheery sweet rosé aptly named Fleurty.

Tauranga was different again — a beautiful beach resort, with miles of soft sand and stylish apartments that would look right at home on the French Riviera (but were a lot cheaper).

The next day, in Auckland, it was time to say goodbye to Spirit and New Zealand — but I’m not dis-Spirited because, with Lady Luck on my side, I’ll be back.