Beyond Paradise

Ralf Little got emotional as he candidly opened up during the latest episode of Will & Ralf Should Know Better

Death in Paradise star Ralf Little fought back tears as he shared the heartbreaking reason he doesn’t have children.

During the latest episode of Will & Ralf Should Know Better, Ralf, 46, and Will Mellor decided to face their fears, from dangling on a trapeze and tackling fatherhood to the ultimate horror of performing stand-up in front of a Glasgow crowd.

At the start of the show, Will, 49, pointed out to Ralf: “I think I’ve actually done something that you would find more frightening than any of that. What I’ve done that I think you’d find more frightening… is have a child.

“Yes, yes, actually commit to something, commitment. I have had two kids and brought them up. So, to give you a little taste, I’m taking you to a place, it’s like a charity set-up, where dads can go and learn how to be good parents. What to expect from a baby, how to be a parent” to which Ralf admitted: “This my living nightmare!”

At the charity set-up, Ralf was asked “what’s the worry about children” to which he admitted: “It’s a lot of work, innit? I bought a bread maker once and I loved making that bread, but after a little while, I was like, I’ll just unplug it and put it under the cupboard. You can’t really do that with babies, can you?”

The leader of the charity set-up then asked: “Ralf, what is it that you’re most afraid of?” to which the former Death in Paradise star said: “I’ve lived a lot of my life having a mentality where there’s nothing I can’t walk away from.

“It’s actually terrifying to me, the idea of loving something so completely and irreversibly. I can’t walk away from it intact. That’s terrifying to me.”

Following the charity set-up and being given a baby doll to look after, it made Ralf think deeper about why he doesn’t have children. He said: “Yeah, it’s been a funny old day. Just in general for me” to which Will added: “I can see it threw some questions into your mind that you weren’t expecting. I could tell from your reaction that you were a bit like maybe there is a reason a bit deeper why I haven’t had children.”

To which Ralf emotionally admitted: “For sure. My parents were fantastic with us and did the best that they could. But their relationship broke down really in a really difficult way and that was very difficult for us.

“You know, there’s no way of putting this that’s not blunt, but, you know, they had three kids and an idyllic family life and then one of the kids was alive one week and dead the next.

“Everything, their entire lives crumbled right in front of their eyes from that moment on. It’s like, you know, you can’t protect them.”

Ralf then fought back tears as he composed himself and continued: “My mum was really… my mum was really protective of us. Really protective.

“And it happened anyway. It happened anyway because you can’t wrap your kids in cotton wool and protect them 24-7. Like, it’s a lot. And it’s only when I’m forced to sort of say these things out loud that I realise quite what a lot it is.”

Tragically, when Ralf was just nine-years-old, his sister, Ceri, then 14, fell 150ft to her death from a cliff during a family holiday to Cornwall.

Ralf has said that the tragedy was partly to blame for his parents’ divorce and deeply affected his other sister Rowena – but it made him push himself academically and in extracurricular activities.

Will and Ralf Should Know Better is available to watch on Channel 4 and 4oD, as well as U.

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