A LONGTIME couple’s romantic night out at a restaurant has made them realise their love language is now a chilly silence.
50-year-old Keith, not his real name, and wife of 20 years Jo booked a table at D’Agistino’s to reaffirm their romance and soon realised they would achieve this by not talking to each other at all.
He said: “Other love languages include physical touch and gifts. Not so much ours. Our love thrives on hush and looking in different directions.
“We managed 90 seconds chat on the breadsticks – the flavour, the consistency, how they compare to other breadsticks we’ve had – and a further 35 seconds on the waiter’s earring. Then we lapsed into what makes us both comfortable.
“28 minutes and 40 seconds later, they brought the meal and we made noises of acknowledgement, then it would have been rude to talk with our mouths full, then I was concerned I might have spinach on my teeth so kept my mouth shut.
“Anyone watching would’ve thought it was a date between a monk and a nun from rival silent orders. It’s a sign of love, knowing so much about each other there’s nothing left to say.
“Besides, what am I going to do – flirt with my own wife, like a pervert? No, our love goes beyond words. We’d renew our vows if we could do it silently.”
Loraine agreed: “Mm.”