Tom Junod has devoted his long and distinguished career to writing about other people. He won two National Magazine Awards as a star feature writer for Esquire, GQ and ESPN: The Magazine, covering everything from athletes and movie stars to the victims of 9/11 with his elegant prose style. However, it took Junod years before he could tackle the toughest subject of all: His father, Lou, a decorated World War II veteran who fashioned himself as a kind of suburban Sinatra.
He was a hard-drinking philanderer who carried with him a complicated legacy that Junod untangles in his memoir “In the Days of My Youth I Was Told What It Means to Be a Man.” I spoke with Junod about fathers and sons, and the difficulty of excavating his family’s fraught history.
✍️ Author Chat
You pondered this book for years. Was there a moment when you finally said, “Right, time to write this now”?
There was definitely a moment, when my brother Michael had lunch with a woman named Muntu Law, who was one of my father’s lovers. It was the late summer of 2015. She told him, “Of course, you know your Dad and I had an affair for 11 years.” And he didn’t know that. He called me immediately after and asked me if I knew about the affair and I said yes. He asked me why I hadn’t told him, and I responded that I both knew and didn’t know. I knew it the moment Muntu stood up at my father’s funeral.
You intuited it?
Yes. There was a split there that I needed to reconcile and explore. There was too much unresolved stuff.
Your father’s story is shot through with a lot of tragedy. What is the writing process like for you? Was it an unburdening, a catharsis or something else?
When you unburden yourself, what you wind up doing is taking up much heavier burdens, which is what the book was. But it’s very interesting, because now I’m talking about my father with people in my family, and some of these discussions are difficult, but at least I’m talking about him with them. It was mostly pain, writing the book. Exposing your secrets isn’t particularly a relief, but it allows you to carry on your life without the necessity of being silent.
Tom Junod untangles his father’s complicated legacy in his memoir “In the Days of My Youth I Was Told What It Means to Be a Man.”
(Lee Crum)
Your Dad is emblematic of this kind of postwar American male that served in the war and came home flush with triumph and a kind of male privilege. Would you agree?
To the absolute max. My dad was an extreme character, and I think what the war did for a lot of men was it allowed them to reinvent themselves and create themselves. I look at my dad as a completely self-created phenomenon.
He clearly carried himself like a star.
There’s a line in the book where I say that Dad was the only celebrity I’ve ever known.
What’s remarkable is that you broke the cycle. You write about your marriage to your wife, Janet, in the book, whom you met in college. You have been together for over 40 years.
I think a lot of people are surprised by that when they read the book. People just thought I had it, you know — that I was successful and I was able to handle difficult situations. Back in the summer, I gave a copy to my friend, Lisa Hanselman, who I worked with at Esquire and GQ for a long time. And she called me up one morning and just said, “I didn’t know.” And that meant a lot to me. In my mind, it’s one of those things that justifies the effort it took to write the book.
(This Q&A was edited for length and clarity.)
📰 The Week(s) in Books
(Evelyn Freja / For The Times)
Mark Athitakis is agog over Lauren Groff’s new story collection “Brawler,” a book that “blends the depth of the long view and the drama of the pivotal moment.”
Acclaimed nonfiction writer Daniel Okrent has written “Stephen Sondheim: Art Isn’t Easy,” a short, sharp biography of Stephen Sondheim for Yale’s “Jewish Lives” series, and Julia M. Klein approves. “[Okrent] seeks to liberate Sondheim’s reputation from the encrustation of myth and to demystify his relationships, while offering a succinct analysis of his achievements,” she writes.
Actor Gina Gershon has written a freewheeling memoir called “AlphaPussy,” which looks back on her San Fernando Valley childhood as a proving ground for dealing with male toxicity as a woman in Hollywood. “I’m not that tough,” Gershon tells Cat Woods. “But I’d learned how to maneuver a lot just from growing up in the Valley, and it was a crazy time to be living there. So I thought about the stories that led me to be able to steer myself through toxicity.”
Finally, Yvonne Villarreal sat with Christina Applegate to discuss her new memoir, “You With the Sad Eyes.” “This book is not cathartic for me — let’s just go there,” Applegate says. “I just needed to dump this s— out somewhere.”
📖 Bookstore Faves
Casita Bookstore in Long Beach prioritizes stories from unrepresented and marginalized voices, says owner Antonette Franceschi-Chavez.
(Antonette Franceschi-Chavez)
An inviting literary haven in Long Beach, Casita Bookstore prioritizes stories from underrepresented and marginalized voices from the BIPOC, immigrant, LGBTQ+ communities and what store owner Antonette Franceschi‑Chavez calls “other historically silenced communities.” I spoke with Franceschi‑Chavez about what readers are excited about now.
What kind of clientele do you get in the store, typically?
Our clientele is wonderfully diverse, but they share a common desire for stories, knowledge and community that center voices often underrepresented in mainstream spaces. We see a strong mix of local community members, educators, families and young readers, along with writers, activists and creatives who are drawn to our focus on books by [underrepresented and marginalized writers].
What’s selling right now?
That’s a difficult question, because we get a wide range of reader personalities. I can say that one of the top-selling trends in adult reading right now is dystopian fiction. Some of the top sellers in our bookstore are “Parable of the Sower” by Octavia Butler, “Chicano Frankenstein” by Daniel Olivas and Agustina Bazterrica’s “Tender Is the Flesh.”
Is there still a place for bookstores as community builders?
Of course! Indie bookstores are vital community hubs. Even in the digital age, bookstores provide physical spaces for connection, conversation and shared experience. You can’t replicate that type of connection online. We’re also living in a time when voices are being silenced or punished for speaking out about social justice, oppressive actions and, overall, what’s right. Bookstores are here to lend their spaces, share those stories and bring attention to needed causes. I’ve seen many bookstores, including ours, function as fundraising and donation hubs, protest art spaces, open-mic venues to allow for communities to unite in shared social causes.
Casita Bookstore in Long Beach is located at 272 Redondo Ave.
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