Kevin Gower

Paraguay is a landlocked country in South America, bordered by Brazil to the east, Argentina to the south and west, and Bolivia to the northwest. Before the arrival of Europeans, the territory was inhabited by various indigenous peoples, including the Guarani, who still make up a significant portion of the population today.

Paraguay was first colonised by the Spanish in the 16th century. The settlement of Asunción, now the capital of Paraguay, was founded by the Spanish on Ascension Day (August 15th) 1537.

There are two theories about where the name “Paraguay” comes from. One version says it means either “River of the Payaguas”, an Indian tribe, or “crowned river” after the native Indian Guaraní words for palm crown and water. A more colourful versions is that there was a parrot named Frank that the first Jesuit settlers befriended when they arrived in the region. To back up this theory, on old maps, Paraguay was labelled as “Parrot”.

The region had shown dissent against the Spanish for several years and tension had risen in the early years of the nineteenth century due to the growing influence of Argentina in the area.

Some bad decisions by the Governor had weakened Spanish presence, which was already affected by the Napoleonic Wars, enabling the Paraguayans, led by a lawyer, Dr José Gaspar Rodríguez de Francia., to overthrow the Spanish in a fairly bloodless revolution on May 14th 1811.

As a result, Paraguay became the second independent nation in the new world – the United States was the first. Dr Francia became the first President of Paraguay, ruling from 1814 to 1840.

He was influential in the design of the flag of Paraguay, which uniquely is the only national flag in the world that has a different image on each side. In the center of one side is the Paraguayan coat of arms, and on the opposite, the treasury seal with the national motto: “Paz y justicia” (“Peace and Justice”).

SHE is so lovely and she has captured your soul. But as you’ve never exchanged a single word, how to tell her? Would staring like a pervert do it? Let’s hope so:

Show stamina

Ladies love two things – commitment and six-hour tantric sex sessions. Show her you stay the distance like Sting by maintaining fixed, prolonged eye contact. It’s sending a message that you can engage in unpleasant tasks like cunnilingus or marriage for long periods and will not blink in the face of fear or dry eyes. Watch her swoon!

Ignore everything she says

Unused to the new love soaring in her heart, afraid of being overwhelmed with euphoria, she may push it away with cruel words. Remarks like ‘Is that man staring at me?’ or ‘Why is his face twitching like that?’ or ‘Can we move tables?’ are only to test your devotion. Do not allow your eyes to flicker while she falls beneath their spell.

Never speak

Whenever you speak to women, you say the wrong thing. Apparently. They say so, anyway. So best to remain silent, mysterious and intense as if you were in a Bond film or a Netflix true crime documentary. Women love bad boys, like Heathcliff or a 46-year-old single man holding a carrier bag of his possessions at the bus stop.

And never smile

If you smile and she doesn’t return it? That’s awkward. Because then you can’t stop smiling and have to maintain a rictus grin and you begin to resemble the Joker, and not in a sexy way. Maintain an impassive expression open to interpretation. It will make her wonder what deep and meaningful thoughts you are having. She’ll soon just have to ask.

Move your stare with her

Show her that you would make such a dedicated partner that you go wherever she leads, like a tango. But only at a discreet distance of 30 feet or so, acting like it was where you were going anyway. If she phones a boyfriend who then holds you up against a wall, that is a sign that perhaps she’s not ready for the depth of your mutual passion. For now.

Saint Peter de Regalado is a local public holiday in Valladolid, the capital of the Spanish autonomous community of Castile and León on May 13th each year.

San Pedro Regalado was a Franciscan monk who lived in the 15th century and was canonised for his charitable actions, his dedication to the poor and his miraculous works. 

He was born in 1390 and was baptised in the current church of San Salvador, which at that time was called the church of Santa Elena.

He was beatified by Pope Innocent XI on March 11th 1684 and canonized by Pope Benedict XIV on June 29th 1746.

Castile and León is an autonomous community in north-western Spain. It is Spain’s largest region and was created in 1983.

Saint Andrew is known as the ‘First Called’ as he was the first of the twelve Apostles to be called by Jesus.

Originally a fisherman like his brother, St Peter, Andrew is credited with spreading the gospel to several regions in Eastern Europe such as Georgia, Greece, Romania and Russia.

According to the tradition of the Georgian Orthodox Church, Andrew arrived in the Ajara region, in the south-west of present-day Georgia, having been told to go to Georgia by the Virgin Mary. The church regards him as the first preacher of Christianity in the region and the founder of the Georgian church.

In 60AD, he was working in Patras, where he baptised the wife and brother of the Governor, Aegeus. The Governor was so incensed by this, that St. Andrew was arrested and crucified on November 30th, which is his Feast Day. 

The importance of St. Andrew to the Georgian Orthodox Church is such that he has a second feast day in Georgia on December 13th, but this is not a public holiday.

In Samoa, the value and importance of raising a family and honouring your parents is shown by making the Mondays after Mother’s Day and Father’s Day public holidays.

The date of Mother’s Day is the same as the day popularised in the USA by Miss Anna Jarvis.

In 1907, Miss Jarvis began a movement to set up a national Mother’s Day in honour of her mother. Anna’s mother, Mrs Anna M. Jarvis, had been instrumental in developing “Mothers Friendship Day” which was set up to assist in the healing process after the Civil War. Miss Jarvis wanted to set aside a day to honour all mothers, living and dead.

The first Mother’s Day observance was a church service favourite the second anniversary of her mother’s death, the second Sunday of May. By 1911, Mother’s Day had spread nationwide and was being celebrated in almost every state in the Union.

A WOMAN spring cleaning the flat she shares with her partner has decided that means chucking out all his stuff she does not see the point of.

Emma, not her real name, felt her clean and declutter should not involve getting rid of any of her own possessions, and she would instead do partner Tom, not his real name, a huge favour by binning most of his ‘old rubbish’.

She said: “The flat’s turning into a tip so I decided to have a sort-out while Tom was at work.

“Obviously my old psychology textbooks from uni are staying, plus childhood storybooks which hold so many memories, and a few other essentials. Is having four make-up bags excessive? Does he want me to stay young-looking and attractive? There’s your answer.

“Tom, on the other hand, really doesn’t need three guitars – he can only ever play one at a time – and he’s surely outgrown that bloody PlayStation now he’s 35. Ditto all those CDs and DVDs of his.

“I hope he’ll be pleased when he gets home from work and sees I’ve transformed the place. Although there’ll still be no space in the wardrobe for his clothes.”

He said: “Emma said she’s having a spring clean on her day off today, bless her. She’ll have fun swishing a duster round and hoovering under the bed.

“She can finally get round to chucking out some of her shit that’s cluttering the place up. So long as she’s careful cleaning around my Gibson Custom 1957 Les Paul and doesn’t rearrange my Grand Theft Auto games in the wrong order that will be great.”

Around the world, Father’s Day is celebrated on different dates, though the day is celebrated in a similar manner, usually involving giving gifts to fathers and family activities.

The Father’s Day initiative in Romania seems to come from the tireless energy of a semi-obscure NGO called TATA, translated as the “Alliance Fighting Discrimination Against Fathers,” who, according to a journalist at an English-language Romanian newspaper I contacted, “convinced a group of MPs in 2010 about the importance of this law, and then had the MPs pass the law.” But she then reassured me the holiday is “not a big thing here.” Another Romanian journalist I asked told me, “I’ve heard about it, but honestly I don’t know anybody celebrating it.” This was not the big groundswell of support I was expecting.

THE hellscape of modern society is the result of decades of dickheads beavering away. But here are six awful aspects your mum blames on you personally.

Spam emails

Your father got an email inviting him to purchase some penis enlargement pills. Your generation’s obsession with sex is what led to him clicking on a dodgy link and divulging his bank details to some foreigner with internet access. Which, incidentally, is another awful thing that’s your fault.

Petrol prices

Back in the old days, petrol was far cheaper. Now, because of inflation and various oil crises, prices at the pump have skyrocketed. You weren’t alive back then, but you are now. Coincidence? Your mum thinks not, and she won’t stop driving or complaining until you finally put your philosophy degree to good use and bring them down.

Litter

The streets are filthy, especially in cities where the young live. As an important figure within the under-60 age bracket, why, exactly, haven’t you urged today’s youth to clean up their act? And get those kids to pull up their trousers, while you’re at it.

AI chatbots

Nowadays it’s impossible to get hold of someone on the phone and shout at them when you have a problem. Instead, you’re forced to converse with a stupid AI chatbot that can’t even flinch from your bellowing. It’s young people like you with your woke sensibilities who have turned complaining into a chore rather than a pleasure.

People playing videos on public transport

Your mum is happy to endlessly swipe through knitting patterns on Instagram, but she would never play them out loud on the train. And in the quiet carriage, no less! How could you be so selfish as to invent the endless scroll and make the volume button so small and fiddly?

Hospital waiting times

According to the way your parents tell it, in the 70s you could turn up at the (white, male) doctor’s house any time of day or night and he’d sort you out. Now you have to go to A&E and wait for hours to see a so-called ‘physician’ who might have long hair or even a nose ring. Assisted dying can’t come soon enough.

At a speech in Paris in 1950, Robert Schuman, the then French foreign minister, set out his idea for a new form of political cooperation in Europe, which would benefit the participating countries economically and reduce the chance of any future war between Europe’s nations.

His vision was to create a European institution that would pool and manage coal and steel production. 

The idea of the community was that its founding members – France, Germany, Italy, the Netherlands, Belgium and Luxembourg – would pool their coal and steel resources and create a common market for them by lifting import and export duties.

A treaty creating such a body was signed in Paris just under a year later. Schuman’s proposal is considered to be the beginning of what is now the European Union.

The first recognition of a “Europe Day” was introduced by the Council of Europe in 1964. The “Europe Day” on 9th May was introduced in 1985 by the European Communities.

A MAN has forgotten how to be an underperforming drone after the four-day Easter weekend, it has emerged.

A long weekend of lying on the sofa and eating chocolate has resulted in Martin, not his real name, not remembering how to fall short of his ‘key performance indicators’ and risk being laid off during the next round of redundancies.

He said: “I knew something was off when I confidently walked into the office early. That’s so unlike me.

“My suspicions grew as I promptly replied to emails, organised my to-do list, and whipped up a presentation of budget-saving measures the company could easily implement. Usually it takes me all morning to turn my computer on.

“I tried to get back into the swing of things by sending emails without the necessary attachments and taking lengthy toilet breaks, but it’s no use. I stupidly got a raise after coming up with profitable ideas during this morning’s team meeting.

“Am I ever going to remember how to fill in a spreadsheet incorrectly or miss a deadline? Or am I doomed to a successful career of spouting corporate jargon and being respected by my awful colleagues? Christ I hope not.”

Marttin’s boss Kah Pau said: “I understand Martin’s concern. But once he’s burnt out he’ll go back to being an unproductive husk.”

Pope Leo XIV is the 267th Pope and replaced Pope Francis, who had been Pope since 2013 until he died in 2025.

He is the first American to fill the role of Pope, although he is considered as much a cardinal from Latin America because of the many years he spent as a missionary in Peru, before becoming a bishop there.

Born in Chicago in 1955 to parents of Spanish and Franco-Italian descent, Prevost served as an altar boy and was ordained as a priest in 1982. Although he moved to Peru three years later, he returned regularly to the US to serve as a pastor and a prior in his home city.

He has Peruvian nationality and is fondly remembered as a figure who worked with marginalised communities and helped build bridges.

He spent 10 years as a local parish pastor and as a teacher at a seminary in Trujillo in northwestern Peru.