Kevin Gower

Given the climate in Iceland, it might seem strange that summer comes so early to Iceland. However, in Iceland, the old Norse calendar was in use by the first settlers to Iceland in the 9th century and it divided the year into only two seasons, vetur (winter) and (sumar) summer.

The first day of summer was traditionally celebrated on the first day of Harpa, the first of the six summer months. It may also be called ‘Girl Day’ or ‘Maiden Day’ as the month of Harpa was associated with Girls.

If it doesn’t feel like summer in Iceland in mid-April, don’t worry too much – a local tradition is that if the temperature on the night before the First Day of Summer falls below zero degrees centigrade, then it will be a long and warm summer.

While it is unclear whether the Norse considered the first day of Summer or the first day of Winter to be the start of the year, it is likely that the date in April was the start of the year. This would link with similar traditions of April being the start of the year in other parts of Europe. Ancient Icelanders calculated people’s age by the number of winters they had lived through, a practice that is still upheld in the countryside with horses and other domestic animals.

The first day of Harpa corresponded to April 14th in the modern calendar. The current date for the First Day of Summer was determined by the church as it is technically deemed to be the second Thursday after the Saint’s Day of Pope Leo I (April 11th).

GOVERNMENT guidance has called for screen time to be limited for children under five. But frankly these other groups could do with some restrictions too.

Seething gammons

Huge chunks of the internet are nothing more than a hate engine powered by outraged, narrow-minded pensioners. Restricting the amount of time they can bark about Meghan in the Mail Online comments section will cool down the culture war and make them realise that voting for Reform UK is probably a bad idea. It’s in the national interest that they’re pacified with a TV that plays Battle of Britain on an endless loop instead.

Dating singletons

Endlessly swiping through apps and realising your low ranking on the dating market is terrible for a person’s wellbeing. Scaling back this activity will get desperate, horny singletons approaching each other in real life again and hopefully reverse the gradual population decline. Either that or it will accelerate it as everyone realises they’ve totally forgotten how to flirt in real life.

Boyfriends who use toilets

Limiting boyfriends with working bowels to an hour of screen time a day will have a dramatic effect on how long they stay on the shitter. The previous average of 40 minutes will be brought crashing down to a tight ten, maximum, as they’re forced to ration out their private scrolling. However women need to be prepared for having to spend more time with their terminally boring partners as a result.

Social media influencers

True, social media influencers are going through a tough time at the minute after being driven from their homeland in Dubai. But cutting back their screen time is the next step in rehabilitating them into becoming useful, functional members of society. We will no longer need them to upload challenge videos or record sponsored reviews, and it would be really useful if they could start building houses instead. In fact why not make it compulsory?

Everyone else, realistically

Nobody is truly immune to the damaging effects of gawping at a screen 24/7. Putting a cap on it will shield young boys from the manosphere, prevent mothers from getting radicalised by Mumsnet, and protect your budget from late night eBay purchases. Upon doing so, society will soon revert to wholesome analogue pleasures, like getting shitfaced and having affairs.

Yom Ha’atzma’ut, Israeli Independence Day, commemorates the declaration of independence of Israel in 1948 and is the official national holiday of the state and the only official non-working day in Israel.

The holiday is celebrated on the fifth day of the Hebrew month of Iyar. The holiday is transferred to the preceding Thursday if 5 Iyar falls on Friday or Saturday.

The Gregorian date for the day on which Israel’s independence was proclaimed is May 14th, 1948 when David ben Gurion publicly read the Proclamation of the Establishment of the State of Israel, and the end of the British Mandate in Israel.

It is also known as Radunitsa or Radonitsa and is a festival amongst many eastern Slavs, though Belarus is the only country where it is a state holiday.

Despite its date being dependent on Easter and it being observed as an Orthodox Christian holiday, the origins of Radunitsa are pagan rather than Christian with its roots based on an ancestor festival.

On Radonitsa, families go to church and then on to the cemetery. At the family tomb, a meal is eaten and any leftovers are offered to dead relatives. In pagan times, families would have left eggs on the graves of the dead, symbolising rebirth.

When Christianity arrived in the region, rather than suppress the older traditions, the church simply absorbed the rituals into Christian festivals. The egg was an easy one as the date of spring for the ancestor worship festival fell close to Easter and the use of the egg as a symbol of rebirth fitted well with the Easter message of resurrection.

Despite honouring and remembering the dead, Radonitsa is a day of celebration not one of mourning. Indeed, in Slavic languages, Radonitsa means ‘Joy Day’.

Despite its date being dependent on Easter and it being observed as an Orthodox Christian holiday, the origins of this festival are pagan rather than Christian with its roots based on an ancestor festival.

On Memorial Easter, families go to church and then on to the cemetery. There, the family graves are cleaned and a meal is eaten with some food intentionally let to fall on the ground as an offering to dead relatives. 

In pagan times, families would have left eggs on the graves of the dead, symbolising rebirth. When Christianity arrived in the region, rather than suppress the older traditions, the church simply absorbed the rituals into Christian festivals. The egg was an easy one as the date of spring for the ancestor worship festival fell close to Easter and the use of the egg as a symbol of rebirth fitted well with the Easter message of resurrection.

AN outwardly normal couple have decided to have not one, not two, not three, but four children, it has emerged.

Anthony and Jess, not their real names, of Bush Hill have four offspring, but all appear to have been conceived, birthed and raised without their parents being visibly deranged or members of a cult.

Neighbour Martin, not his real name, said: “Initially we assumed they had some kind of contraceptive f**k-up at least twice, but apparently they really did choose to have this many children.

“They do normal things like going to work, taking the kids swimming, going on a family holiday every year. Frankly it’s creepy how they act like there’s nothing wrong.

“Sometimes they even seem happy about this waking nightmare they’ve created for themselves. Surely one day they’ll both snap and set fire to their seven-seater Citroën?”

Family friend Kah Heng, not his real name,  said: “It’s weird. They’re not religious and they know about contraception. I’d understand if they were parenting influencers getting lucrative washing powder deals, but it’s like they enjoy having kids or something.”

Youngest son Oliver said: “I’d like to have more brothers and sisters, but mummy said ‘No, there’s a limit to how many times I can watch Bluey, so f**k that’.”

As one of the first countries to take steps along the long revolutionary road to the end of European rule of Latin America, Venezuela can be excused for effectively having two independence days. 

In 1806, there had been a failed attempt to start a revolution in Venezuela by Francsico de Miranda. Despite the failure, the attempt had sowed the seed of insurrection and a few years later, events in Europe would gave the independence movement further impetuous.

In 1808, Napoleon Bonaparte invaded Spain and put his brother Joseph on the throne. Many of the Spanish colonies in Latin America remained loyal to the deposed King Ferdinand. On 17 April 1810, news that Ferdinand had been finally defeated by Napoleon reached Caracas, where the people decided independence was better than French rule.

On 19 April 1810 (Maundy Thursday, the day before Good Friday) Vicente Emparan, the Captain General of Venezuela, was dismissed, giving way to the formation of the Supreme Junta of Caracas, one of the first to form an autonomous government in Latin America.

The Junta governed until 2 March 1811, when the First National Congress was installed, which appointed a triumvirate composed of Cristóbal Mendoza, Juan Escalona and Baltasar Padrón. 

Francsico de Miranda returned from exile, and pushed further for independence. A few months later, on 5 July 1811, the Declaration of Independence was finally signed, creating the First Republic of Venezuela. The Spanish resisted this movement for independence and the revolution and republic was quashed in 1812. 

However, this first declaration of independence meant that full independence was only a matter of time indeed nine years later Venezuela became independent under the leadership of Simon Bolivar in 1821.

ALLOWING another road-user to take precedence over you is an unforgivable sign of weakness and should incur points, motorists have agreed.

Giving way, whether to a car, a cyclist or a pedestrian is an act of submission which should, if repeated, lead to the loss of a driving licence and in extreme cases a full ban because of the danger it poses.

Qashqai driver Karen, not her real name,  said: “It’s basic biology. Do rhinos give way to a herd of antelope? No. They charge ahead because they’re top of the food chain.

“By hesitating around being courteous and prioritising others, these idiots are causing crashes among real drivers like me: confident, brake seldom, basically apex predators with windscreen wipers.”

Shane, not his real name, a Ford Ranger Raptor driver from Stafford, agreed: “There are rules about who has right of way at junctions, and there are unwritten rules about self-respect and what it takes to get ahead.

“I’m not giving way just to be ‘nice’. It’s not the 14th century and I’m not a gallant knight. I’m a 43-year-old man on the way to the big Sainsbury’s to buy toilet roll.”

Reform MP Robert Jenrick said: “This nation has been weakened by the constant nanny-state need to make sure others are not ‘at risk’ of an ‘imminent collision’. When we should be ruling the road and dominating every junction, instead we ‘give way’.

“I don’t even stop for red lights. I go straight through them.”

Zimbabwe was first influenced by Europeans with the arrival of The British South Africa Company in the 1890s. The company had been founded by Cecil Rhodes in 1889 to colonise the region.

The area became known as Southern Rhodesia (in honour of Cecil Rhodes) in 1895 and was governed by the British South Africa Company until 1922 when the European settlers voted to become a British Colony.

In 1953, Britain created the Central African Federation, made up of Southern Rhodesia (Zimbabwe), Northern Rhodesia (Zambia) and Nyasaland (Malawi).

Following the breakup of the Federation in 1964, when Zambia and Malawi gained independence, Ian Smith became Prime Minister of the country (now called Rhodesia). Smith began a campaign for independence from Britain, with the government being run by the white minority. Independence was declared in 1965, but was not recognised internationally and led to sanctions against the country. This also led to an extensive campaign of guerilla warfare within Rhodesia and the rise of the Zanu and Zapu organisations.

Under this pressure, the white minority finally consented to multiracial elections in 1980. Robert Mugabe and his Zanu party won the independence elections, with Mugabe becoming Prime Minister and Zimbabwe’s independence being formally recognised on April 18th 1980.