UKs

BBC bosses have taken inspiration from Britpop legends Blur for the UK’s 2026 Eurovision entry.

The Sun can reveal Look Mum No Computer’s song Eins, Zwei, Drei has been inspired by the British music legends.

It features  random lyrics and almost spoken word verses.

Controversially, the chorus is all in German.

Sam Battle, the man behind Look Mum No Computer, says on the track: “If only there was a language that I could count in, that would make me feel better.”

He then launches into a bizarre counting session in German.

The Eurovision track opens with Sam saying: “So sick of doing the whole 9 to 5.

“I pay my dues I’m just staying alive… and I’m so bored, I’m so bored of it. Oh what’s the point of it.”

A source said; “The song is about as far away from last year’s entry as posisble but maybe that’s what the UK needed to do?

“On one hand it’s very Blur inspired.

“On the other there are whole waves of the song that are in German.

“That being said if you had been played it and told it was from another European country you’d think it’s the perfect Eurovision track.”

The song will get its official first play on BBC Radio 2 Breakfast with Scott Mills on Friday morning. 

The music video is also set to drop on Friday as well.

This year’s contest takes place in May in Vienna.

The Sun revealed earlier this month how Australia will be represented by Delta Goodrem after she told Bizarre of her dream of competing in the show in an interview back in May 2025.

The Sun previously revealed how BBC bosses were forced to go back to the drawing board after one of their shortlisted acts was exposed for inappropriate comments online.

Bosses hauled the act – who is a solo artist – into a meeting where they were dramatically told they would no longer be representing the UK.

As well as the performer, the song was also ready to go – with the track being played to a number of industry high-flyers to gauge the reaction.

It meant that during January staff had been desperately trying to find a replacement act in time for the impending submission deadline.

A source previously said: “The BBC can’t take any chances with Eurovision being such a pressure cooker this year.

“Routine checks brought up past behaviour that just didn’t line up.

“It was brutal but they were dragged into a meeting and told they could no longer represent the UK.

“Naturally the person was mortified and devastated.

“It’s been a mess ever since the start of the year trying to find a new act.”

The nostalgia factor is strong

They might appear to be a relic of bygone days, but there’s still a demand for the modest cassette. CDs and digital streaming appeared to spell the end for the mixtape, yet in a corner of Manchester’s Northern Quarter they’re flying off the shelves.

That’s down to Mars Tapes, widely regarded as the last cassette shop in the UK. Operated by Alex Tadros and situated inside Manchester’s independent shopping haven, Afflecks Palace, it’s been hugely successful and is now gearing up for its next phase.

“After seven years of growth, we are entering into our third expansion. This time moving down to a much larger unit on the 1st floor of Afflecks Palace — one of the biggest units in the building,” Alex says.

Mars tapes stocks a selection of classics, a ‘Rewind’ series — official tapes missing their paper inserts — mixtapes and consignments of new music from major labels.

The new premises will showcase an enlarged library of cassette tapes, a broader selection of refurbished vintage audio equipment, and the launch of the Mars Tapes Listening Cafe — a designated area where patrons can savour a coffee whilst listening to tapes from the shop’s collection, reports the Manchester Evening News.

To mark the expansion, they’re throwing a weekend party on March 7 and 8.

The venue will feature a Dave Haslam DJ set on the Sunday and a live gig from emerging Glasgow outfit Cowboy Hunters on the Saturday — the latter will be dropping a new EP on cassette through Sour Grapes Records.

The weekend will also welcome Horace Panter (The Specials), who will be showcasing his cassette artwork throughout both days. There will be a range of in-store discounts for various cassette products, with food and drinks specials available as well.

“Our cassette shop launched back in 2019 in perhaps the smallest unit in Afflecks Palace, and we never expected to grow in the way we have,” adds Alex.

“Now in the midst of our third expansion, into one of the biggest spaces in the building we wanted to celebrate with all of the cassette aficionados that made it possible! We’re offering food, drinks and in-store deals, alongside some fantastic live music from Cowboy Hunters, and DJ sets from Dave Haslam and Glue Tape Jockeys (a cassette DJ set).

“We’re also excited to be bringing down Horace Panter of The Specials who will be exhibiting some of his fantastic cassette based artwork. It’s gonna be a tape heads dream weekend and we can’t wait to welcome everyone down to the new store.”

The launch celebration will run on March 7 and 8 at Afflecks Palace, 52 Church St, Manchester M4 1PW. Complimentary tickets can be secured via Skiddle.

IT cheekily kept the home fires burning during the Blitz, and now Britain’s oldest strip club is set to reopen its doors once more.

The Windmill was one of the most iconic venues in Soho, where showgirls served up cocktails and stripteases while air raid sirens wailed outside.

Its famous motto, “Never closed,” was reworked into “Never clothed” — as the Windmill Girls bared all to keep punters smiling as war waged on.

Now the venue is roaring back to life as the Rhino At The Windmill after being forced to close due to Covid restrictions.

It was the club that made strip clubs the beating heart of Soho – and paved the way for hundreds more around the country.

Beloved by celebs and ordinary punters alike, Britain’s strip clubs have sparked scenes of debauchery and excess, which have gone down in legend.

DARK FANTASIES

The creepy Girlfriend for Hire sites where Incels splash £50k on ‘yes women’

NEWLYWEBS

Secrets of Zendaya & Tom Holland’s low-key relationship as stars ‘tie knot’

Here, we reveal the wildest tales from over the decades.

Rihanna’s head loss

At Stringfellows, pop superstar Rihanna is believed to have got a bit too close and personal with some of the club’s performers.

It was back in 2011 when the S&M songstress booked a private booth at the club – but ended up breaking the rules.

Rihanna – who is no stranger to getting pulses racing herself – is rumoured to have got a bit carried away with the show and ended up sticking her head between one of the women’s legs.

Her exuberance earned her a telling off from one of the burly bouncers who look after the club’s dancers.

It doesn’t seem to have deterred Rihanna though, who has been spotted back in the club on several occasions since.

Footie star’s eye-watering bill

Newcastle star Kieran Trippier was ‘stitched up’ by a group of friends who spent close to £10,000 on a strip club bill – before putting the defender’s name on the tab.

The Newcastle star was not believed to be present at the For Your Eyes Only club – however, his name still appeared on the bill, which included 76 £100 tokens for personal dances.

The bill was a staggering £9,663 and was believed to have been racked up by Trippier’s friends who play for National League side Gateshead.

A source told the The Sun: “Kieran has visited FYEO before but this bill was run up by some of the lads he knows at Gateshead. He wasn’t there.

“This seems to be their idea of a joke on Kieran. Who knows who footed the bill.”

Bieber’s revolting encounter

Notorious London nightclub The Box is infamous for its explicit late night cabaret shows, but Justin Bieber allegedly got more than he bargained for after a night of partying.

Drag queen A’Whora told GK Barry’s podcast Saving Grace that a few years ago, a revolting punter “threw semen at Justin”.

A shocked Grace then asked how he reacted, and A’Whora claimed Bieber joked: “Gotta keep an eye out for Selena!”.

The quip was a reference to lyrics from Justin’s hit song Beauty and Beat.

Whether or not A’Whora’s memory was entirely accurate has never been confirmed, but such an incident certainly wouldn’t be out of place given what else goes on at The Box.

Some of the celeb haunt’s most jaw-dropping shows have included simulated threesomes and a performer named “Laqueefa”, who played well-known tunes with her genitalia.

Corrie star’s dancer wedding

Corrie star Chris Quinten went into the lucrative strip club business after he left the cobbles.

But he faced a mass walk-out at his Secrets club after staff claimed their pay had been cut.

Back in 2019 the girls were said to have gone on a one day strike after he changed the rules on what percentage they got from punters.

At Secrets, a three-minute nude table dance cost £30. Half an hour with a stripper and champagne was £350.

The dancers claimed their earnings from the club in Hammersmith, West London, were halved. But after the strike the club agreed to make changes, with one stripper saying: “Our strike proved a success and we got what we wanted – fair rights and wages.”

Chris, then 61, went on to get engaged to one of his club’s dancers – 21-year-old Robyn Dellabarre, and celebrated with a party at the club.

Bedded five dancers… in a week

Blue star Lee Ryan has never been one to shy away from controversy.

But during his 2014 stint in the Celebrity Big Brother house he confessed to being banned from a strip club for bedding five of its dancers on five consecutive nights.

In a conversation in the house Lee confessed: “I walked into a club once right, I mean this is back in the day, I was a lot younger, I mean I would never do this these days.

“I walked in there right, this is probably one of the worst things I’ve ever done, I got five girls’ numbers when they were all dancing, I got the fittest girls’ numbers that were in there.”

Then he went on to say he slept with them all on consecutive days from Monday to Friday.

But when the girls compared notes and realised what he had done, they weren’t best pleased with him.

Lee then said he was subsequently banned from the club for some reason.

A-lister gets shirty

Back in 2010 Hollywood star Kiefer Sutherland’s night out at Stringfellows came to a rather abrupt end.

The actor was said to have been tossed out of the London club shirtless and drunk after an altercation with the bouncers.

The Emmy and Golden Globe award-winner, best known for his role as Jack Bauer in TV series 24, was described by onlookers as “absolutely screamingly paralytic” and was put in a headlock by security as he lashed out during a drinking bender.

But club owner Peter Stringfellow later played down the incident, writing on his blog: “(Sutherland) had a wonderful time, was incredibly charming to all the staff, very generous to all the girls and made friends with my security people.

“Around about 3.15am he decided it would be very funny to take his shirt off. When it was explained to him very gently that that was the job of the girls and not the customers he burst out laughing. His friend thought that this would be a good time for them to go home.”

Stripper’s undercover mission

Stringfellow was the undisputed king of the strip clubs – until a new rival club started to steal his girls and his crown.

Crowds were flocking to the new Spearmint Rhino club in Camden – leaving Peter and his scantily clad dancers in an empty club.

So he hatched a daring plan to foil the opposition.

Peter sent one of his longest-serving dancers as an undercover spy to get a job at Spearmint Rhino to find out what all the fuss was about and why the girls there were earning so much money.

But the cunning plot failed miserably. The dancer quickly realised she too could earn more money at Spearmint Rhino, where the girls were offered mega money for full nudity, and promptly never returned to Stringfellows.