trauma

TV host Jeff Brazier admits he has made too many mistakes bringing up sons Bobby and Freddy.

He became a single dad after his ex, Big Brother star Jade Goody, died from cervical cancer in 2009 aged just 27.

Jeff — who has since had years of therapy — believes that if model Bobby, 23, and Race Across The World star Freddy, 21, had been raised by the man he is today, they may have escaped some of the trauma, turmoil and family fallouts.

He told the Sun on Sunday: “You always look back with hindsight and feel like, ‘If only I was the version of myself I am today 20 years ago, how much of a better experience of me they would have had’.

“Maybe that might have eliminated some of the bumps in the road we’ve had . . .  you look at the things you could have done better.”

Those “bumps” have at times proved particularly painful for Freddy, with much of the family tension centred around his close bond with his maternal grandmother Jackiey Budden, 69.

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Jeff has always considered Jade’s mum to be a bad influence on the boys.

And Freddy, who has been to rehab, been sectioned and suffered manic episodes, has previously claimed Jackiey got him “hooked” on cannabis.

Things got so bad that last year, a concerned Jeff started legal proceedings in a bid to keep Jackiey away from his son.

Yet despite their clashes, Jeff and Freddy have always found their way back to each other — most recently in March following the arrival of Freddy’s daughter Isla with his on-off girlfriend Holly Swinburn.

Jeff, 47, says: “Thanks to all the mistakes and all the lessons and the learnings along the way, I get to love Isla with a sense of confidence.

“The strength of connection you can have with a grandchild is really special.

“With Isla, it just feels ­natural, effortless and easy, and there’s no ­complications around it.”

Jeff can often be seen on This Morning, has worked with The One Show and TNT Sports and now fronts the Let’s Save Water campaign, urging families to make small changes to help tackle Britain’s shortage after the hot summer.

But the TV star admits he has struggled since his sons moved out of the family home in Essex.

“When they left, I went through nine months of what felt like ­absolute grief,” he admits.

“It’s not just the absence of your children. It’s more the grieving of the role that you played, that you got really comfortable playing.

“It felt like a slow relinquishing of control and responsibility, to the point where you feel redundant.

“Life is a lot quieter right now — the peace can be deafening — but there’s also part of you that’s, like, ‘Shouldn’t I be doing something for someone somewhere?’ ”

Jeff’s home is also quieter following the end of his seven-year ­marriage to PR executive Kate Dwyer last year.

Yet Jeff, who first found fame on reality show Shipwrecked in 2001, is learning to embrace this new chapter and finally put himself first.

He is also discovering how to play again so that he can be the best grandfather possible.

It was Freddy, who suffers from ADHD, who first told him he needed to loosen up, while they filmed Celebrity Race Across The World in 2024.

Jeff, who spent much of his ­childhood in foster care, said: “He ­basically hit the nail on the head.

“As a child, I probably didn’t play that much, or feel safe to play. I’m trying to undo that.”

In a bid to become more playful, Jeff has even signed up to wrestle strangers after discovering the ­unusual kind of therapy at a ­spiritual festival.

“The more you do it, the more you free something up and heal something,” he says.

“Obviously, no one’s allowed to hurt anyone. But to go and enjoy retreats like that, you’re basically taking your inner child with you.

“That’s where I hope I will be in ten years — running a retreat on a renovated farm in the countryside.

“I would still be exercising and showing up for people, and I’d be looking after numerous grand- children and feel all the love.”

Could that future also include finding love again?

“I hope so,” he says. “Yeah, I believe that will happen to me.”

JEDDAH: “Our Cut of Salt” is an extraordinary debut partly because it understands that the haunted-house story has always been most effective when it is, at heart, a story about people and the fears they carry with them.

Under Palestinian American writer Deena Helm’s pen, a haunted house in Haifa that once was home to a Palestinian family is not merely the site of a ghost story; it is itself a record of displacement, violence and belonging, as well as an indictment of military occupation.

Forthcoming from US publisher Tor’s horror imprint Tor Nightfire on Sept. 22, the gothic horror novel follows three generations of Palestinian women and the history embedded in their ancestral home, Dar Sayadi.

After Nuhad’s death, her granddaughter Marina in Chicago becomes determined to visit the house she has inherited that she only knows of through her grandmother’s stories. Her mother, Haifa — named for the city her family lost and carrying inherited trauma herself — reluctantly agrees to let her go to Palestine.

Nuhad had not returned to the house since the Nakba of 1948, but she continued to carry it in her heart until death. Rania, her childhood friend, becomes a guide and a bridge connecting Marina to her ancestry.

Helm’s characters feel remarkably full and vibrant even when they appear only briefly. The debut author’s measured prose moves deftly between the poetic and the clear-eyed. At times, her language is lyrical and atmospheric, giving the house and its haunting an almost dreamlike quality; at others, it becomes restrained and precise, allowing scenes to speak without being weighed down by narration.

In “Our Cut of Salt,” the supernatural elements expose the inadequacy of ordinary language to describe the psychological consequences of forced expulsion and Israeli military occupation.

Locals and cats alike avoid Dar Sayadi’s perimeter; strange sounds and screams sometimes emanate from within; and any Israeli settlers who occupy it either die or disappear. Even as they keep coming, the house “refuses” to become a sanctuary for the Israeli settlers.

More significantly, Dar Sayadi is a “painful, festering” wound, and as Marina digs into the family past, the illness — symbolizing the Israeli occupation — becomes increasingly physical.

By placing the supernatural alongside the very real horrors that have continued to reverberate since the Nakba of 1948, Helm takes the machinery of the American gothic haunted-house story — the ominous building, unexplained noises, apparitions, a family entering a space where it should not be — and turns it toward a history for which the word “haunting” is more than literal.

Within the architecture of Palestinian belonging, a house is never only walls, windows and a roof: It is also the place from which a family was expelled. Helm’s narrative is tightly wound around the understanding that to lose such a place is not merely to lose property.

A Palestinian home lost to colonization becomes an archive of domestic life, forever tethered to the family that once cared for it, that it continues to belong to. They are rooms in which children grew up, where meals were eaten, arguments took place, prayers were said.

Dar Sayadi’s “sickness,” anger and violation become a way of exposing the inhuman conditions that Israeli occupation has allowed to fester across generations, a violence that continues to reproduce itself in the present.

Beneath the apparitions and hauntings, “Our Cut of Salt” is about inheritance: what mothers transmit to daughters, what displacement severs, and how a place can remain an emotional time capsule even when generations have been physically separated from it.

Loose Women star Grace Keeling says she no longer wants to suffer in silence over what happened to her a decade ago – and hopes it helps others to know they are ‘not alone’

GK Barry says her decision to speak out on the sexual assaults she experienced as a teen was partly motivated by anger.

When the TV and social media star, real name Grace Keeling, was raped as a 17-year-old during her college work experience placement, she vowed to never tell a soul.

But a decade on, she has written a book about her many and varied life experiences in which she lays out what happened in the hope it will help other young women. And she told the Mirror that it “took a lot” for her to revisit the devastating ordeal.

“He was so confident about what he did, I’m sure I wasn’t the first and won’t have been the last, and maybe I could have stopped him from doing this to another girl,” she explains in the book. “But although I wish now I’d reported it at the time, I also feel really strongly that it’s not women’s f***ing responsibility to stop men raping us.”

Her attacker was her line manager for the week, who was 10 years her senior and had offered to give her a lift to work on her second day. But instead of taking her to the office, he drove her to a deserted park and demanded a sex act. “I didn’t know what else I could do except go along with what he was telling me – resisting or fighting back felt like it might make things worse,” she said. Horribly aware that she needed to finish the work experience in order to pass her college course and get to university, she felt she had to comply. “There was never a moment in my mind where I thought I could say no to what was happening,” she says. “When you’re 17 and scared as f***, thinking logically isn’t an option.”

There was worse to come. On her last day with the company, he took her into a side room with no cameras and asked her to remove her white jeans. “And then he rapes me,” she writes, admitting it took her a many years to accept that’s what it was. Agonisingly, she confesses that one of the reasons she vowed to never speak about what happened was “in case someone confirms my biggest fear that I was to blame”.

But a year on from the assaults, Grace found the courage to tell a teacher after learning that another girl from college was about to do work experience at the same company.

When she finally spoke to the police, she was told by a female officer that, because there was no evidence, it would be her word against his and she was highly unlikely to get a conviction. “At no point did the police officer say to me that what he’d done was wrong,” she reports, saying she was offered no support or counselling at any point.

With statistics showing that 1 in 4 women over 16 experience some form of sexual assault, and six out of seven rapes against women are carried out by someone they know, Grace wishes she’d known then about support group Rape Crisis. “I think people would be more confident coming forward and reporting assaults if we knew that people were on our side and willing to believe us.”

As she lays out what happened in her new book, the podcaster and Loose Women regular, 27, told the Mirror that the secrecy around these sorts of issues needs to stop. “I think it’s something that people don’t speak about. It’s something always kept very hidden. And I don’t think we should be ashamed about it.

“I haven’t put it in just for the sake of it, it took a lot for me to even speak about it,” she says quietly. “I wish I knew that you can say no, that rape can happen whether it’s someone you’re friends with, or close to, or a boss, that it comes in many forms.” And for anyone who has suffered anything similar, she says: “I would like them to know that it wasn’t their fault, because I spent a lot of years thinking it was.”

Grace, who grew up in Newmarket, Suffolk, and is a judge this year on The Mirror’s Pride of Britain Awards, is hoping her guide to surviving and thriving will also provide plenty of laughs. “The majority of it is just hilarious stuff that has happened to me,” she says. “I think people reading it can maybe learn from everything that I’ve done wrong.”

The book shows her devotion to footballer girlfriend of two years Ella Rutherford, an attacking midfielder for Millwall. Ella, 26, was her first relationship with a woman and it’s clear she thinks they will be together forever. Calling her the “undisputed love of my life”, Grace says she plans to eventually settle with Ella and their dogs on a farm.

Grace’s mother Loretta, and step-dad Andrew, have yet to learn about the many scrapes the TikTok star has had over the years. “My mum’s read the first couple of pages, but she has no idea what’s coming, God bless her,” she says. “I think maybe I won’t be able to look my mum and dad in the eye for a couple of months.”

– GK Barry, It’s Giving Life, EBURY SPOTLIGHT | 3RD SEPTEMBER 2026 | £22.00