Occasional Digest

According to legend, Chuseok originated as a result of a weaving competition held between two princesses in the Silla dynasty. The goal was to see which of their teams could weave the most cloth. The fierce competition lasted for a month, ending on the 15th day of the 8th month on the lunar calendar during the full moon. As punishment, the losing team had to prepare a bountiful feast for the victors. It is believed that archery and martial arts competitions were held as part of the festivities.

During the Harvest Moon Festival, there is an offering ceremony to the family ancestors and visiting of family graves. The Harvest Moon Festival is a reminder that families are connected and bonded in the same fortune.

A NAIVE 18-year-old has decided to take a degree that will do nothing but deepen her understanding of the world and appreciation of the human experience.

Lucy, not her real name, has condemned herself to a lifetime in debt by choosing a course which only broadens her mind and enhances her life instead of leading to a solid middle-management position.

Friend Ellie, not her real name, said: “I explained the point of university is to give yourself an unassailable advantage when applying for white-collar positions at blue-chip companies. But she kept talking about her ‘passion for learning’.

“What can she possibly learn by studying English Literature? All the books are summarised on Wikipedia now anyway, and if you need to do critical thinking about them there’s ChatGPT.

“Closely analysing incredible works by great writers is a waste of three years. All she’ll develop is a keen sense of empathy and a rich cultural understanding of the world around her. Employers don’t give a f** about that.

“And when she’s not making her way through the canon, she’ll be out on the piss and hooking up with boys doing sports science. I couldn’t think of a more dreary existence.”

Lucy said: “Yeah, well if I regret my decision I’ll be able to articulate my despair in a Petrarchan sonnet.”

Since pre-Islamic times, the Arabian peninsula had been occupied by nomadic tribes.

The Islamic prophet, Muhammad united these tribes to create a single Islamic religious state. In the years following his death in 632, the territory under Muslim rule rapidly expanded across the middle east, from Spain in the west to parts of the Indian subcontinent in the east.

In the 16th century, the region first came under the control of the Ottoman Empire and although various sultanates would be formed from time to time, it wasn’t until the collapse of the Ottoman Empire at the end of World war I that modern Saudi Arabia emerged.

Ibn Saud (the son of Abdul Rahman bin Faisal who had been the last ruler of the ‘Second Saudi State’), became the Sultan of Najd, the central region of Arabia in 1921.

After conquering the Hejaz (western Arabia ) in 1925, Ibn Saud was declared King of the Hejaz on January 10th 1926. In 1927, he changed his title to King of Nejd.

Despite being King of both regions, he ruled the two parts of his kingdom separately for the next five years. It wasn’t until 1932, after a two-year campaign to suppress and defeat former allies, that the kingdoms of the Hejaz and Nejd were renamed and unified as the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia.

Saudi Arabia National Day only became a public holiday in 2007. In 2005, Saudi Arabia’s late King Abdullah bin Abdulaziz announced that from the 75th National Day, the occasion will become an annual national holiday.

Mali is a landlocked country in Western Africa. From the 11th century, the Malian Empire ruled in the upper Niger basin, extending its realm right to the Atlantic coast. Mali’s imperial influence declined in the seventeenth century as other powers in the region gained prominence.

When the Malian emperor, Mansa Musa, made his famous pilgrimage to Mecca in the fourteenth century, he traveled with over 70,000 people and up to 50 pounds of gold. He built a mosque every Friday on his entire trip. Mansa Musa left so much gold to the people along his way, he inadvertently caused inflation in the regions he passed.

In the nineteenth century, France was taking an increasingly interest while Islamic religious wars had led to creation of theocratic states in the region.

In 1898, during the so-called ‘Scramble for Africa’, France conquered Mali, making it a part of French Sudan. 

In April 1959 the French Sudan merged with Senegal to form the Mali Federation. A transfer of power agreement was signed with France on 4 April 1960, which led to formal independence on 20 June 1960.

The Mali Federation proved to be very short-lived and broke up on 20 August 1960, when Senegal proclaimed its independence. 

A month later, on 22 September 1960 French Sudan declared its independence from the Mali Federation as the Republic of Mali.

In 1874, Britain took control over parts of Ghana, naming them the British Gold Coast.

Britain was weakened by the efforts of World War II and following a rising desire for independence, Ghana was the first sub-Saharan African country to achieve independence, on March 6th 1957.

Dr. Nkrumah was the driving force behind the independence of Ghana from British rule and founded the Convention People’s Party (CPP).

Nkrumah will always be remembered for the powerful speech he delivered on the day Ghana gained independence, March 6th 1957, proclaiming “Ghana will be free forever”, from British rule, to millions of Ghanaian gathered at the Independence Square now Black Stars Square. The speech was significant as it relinquished the British control over the Gold coast.

In 1960, Prime Minister Osagyefo Dr. Kwame was sworn into office as the first President of the country and the republic was proclaimed on July 1st 1960.

In February 1966, while Nkrumah on a state visit to Vietnam and China, his government was overthrown in a military coup. Nkrumah never returned to Ghana and died in April 1972.

In September 2009, President John Atta Mills declared September 21st (the centenary of Kwame Nkrumah’s birth in 1909) to be Founder’s Day, a statutory holiday in Ghana.

Nkrumah designed the national flag of Ghana. Its design was inspired by Ethiopia’s green-yellow-red Lion of Judah flag with the lion replaced by a black star. Red symbolizes bloodshed and struggle; green stands for beauty and agriculture; yellow represents mineral wealth; and the Black Star represents African freedom.

IT’S hard to believe, but not everyone likes you as much as you do. These are a few tell-tale signs people actually find you f**king irritating:

You get no eye contact

In the brief face-to face interchanges you have with colleagues, particularly females, they never seem to talk to you directly. Is this because you’re so ruggedly handsome that they fear gazing at you directly? No. It’s because your eyes are routinely transfixed at their chest and they’re all secretly bitching about your pervy ways.

You get fixed eye contact

Male colleagues, on the other hand, give you a fixed, unblinking glare. This isn’t the stoic glower of masculine approval you naively believe it to be. Instead, they’re pissed off because you either stole one of their clients, got the promotion that was rightfully theirs, or hit on their partner at the work do. Or, knowing you, all three.

They take non-existent phone calls

Constantly being on your phone around others is rude. That’s unless the person in question doesn’t like you, in which case it’s the perfect defence barrier. Notice how co-workers and acquaintances only seem to get calls when they see you approach, and how they always have to duck out and take it in private. It’s no coincidence. You’re that annoying.

You’re only in one WhatsApp group

Even tolerable people get roped into several WhatsApp groups like ‘Mark’s birthday gift ideas’ and ‘Soph’s leaving do’. Meanwhile you were only invited to one titled ‘Work’, and that was due to an administrative error. Although considering how annoying WhatsApp groups are, your terrible personality has done you a favour on this occasion.

You’re not invited to social events

Your mates invited you to their birthday parties and weddings a long time ago, but not anymore. And as for your work colleagues, they tend to keep their after work drinks to themselves. You get copied into the Christmas party email, but only because the company is legally obligated to. This behaviour is due to a little thing called your personality.

You’ve been punched in the face

People who are a pleasure to be around are sometimes punched, but only lightly and on the arm. A swift blow to the face is a coded message that your banter is grating and that everyone is tired of your constant one-upmanship. Your failure to pick up on this is also an indicator that you’re thick as shit. A quality that often goes hand-in-hand with being annoying as f**k.

On September 20th each year, Rio Grande do Sul, the most southerly state in Brazil bordering Uruguay and Argentina, celebrates the Farroupilha (Ragamuffin) Revolution, a civil uprising that began in 1835 when the state fought for independence from the rest of the nation. 

The rebels were led by generals Bento Gonçalves da Silva and Antônio de Sousa Neto. Despite the support of Italian revolutionary Giuseppe Garibaldi, the gaucho-led revolt ended in 1845 with surrender, and Rio Grande do Sul remaining part of Brazil.

Even though the uprising resulted in defeat, the conflict is a source of regional pride, with partying across the whole of the state, although it’s in the capital Porto Alegre where the action really happens. For most of September, thousands of people camp out in the city’s Harmonia Park, recreating traditional gaucho lifestyles at the Farroupilha Camp.

A NEWLYWED woman throwing her bouquet is very obviously trying to ensure it lands in the hands of a particular unwed friend.

Despite it being her special day selfless bride Miki, not her real name, is making sure the bouquet, bringing with it the promise to be next to wed, is caught by old friend Emma, not her real name, whose boyfriend Joe has well-known commitment issues.

Miki explained, “Yeah, it’s lovely to be getting married to the love of my life and everything, but that doesn’t mean abandoning the sisterhood.

“We discussed the bouquet-catching. We worked out Emma’s best angles, We practiced. As long as she doesn’t drink more than two glasses of prosecco before the throw, she’s got this and Joe has questions to answer. Or pop.

“I’ve also rewritten my husband’s speech to get a few digs in about Joe’s inability to pit a ring on it, and I’ve even made sure the bridesmaid’s dresses aren’t hideous to encourage romance. That’s hard for any bride but I made the sacrifice.

“Her not being married is just embarrassing at this point. Normally I find proposals at weddings cringey, but honestly, it’s all I really care about today.”

Emma said: “I’m not married, I’m not engaged, I’m not massively arsed. It’s everyone else who’s obsessed with it.

“Besides Joe didn’t even know I’d caught it. He was playing Minecraft on his phone.”

While the country was under Spanish rule, a military parade was held whenever a new governor-general took office in Santiago. The First Government Junta’s formal inauguration took place in the city on September 19th 1810, as the first military parade of the new nation.

The National Army of Chile was created on December 2nd 1810, by order of the First National Government Junta.

The Day of the Glories of the Chilean Army was established in 1915. On September 28th 1819, a parade with all the nation’s army units was held to celebrate the victory in the Chilean War of Independence. 

President Joaquin Prieto ordered a military exercise on La Pampilla fields in 1831, and President Manuel Bulnes obtained lands in the Pampilla area for annual military parades in 1842, leading to its transformation into a military installation in 1845. This land became O’Higgins Park in 1873 following the efforts of Luis Cousiño, who was inspired by European parks and decided to infuse a similar design with Chilean features. He commissioned Manuel Arana to design it, and Arana included the Field of Mars that has been used in the annual military parades since.

The purpose of this holiday is to remember all those who have fought in Chilean battles, in which the country has been victorious or defeated; the courage and courage of those who protected the country and its inhabitants are remembered.

The Chilean Army is one of the most technologically advanced and professional armies in the Americas.

Note that the Chilean Navy has its own public holiday. The Day of the Glories of the Chilean Navy is observed on May 21st and marks the date of the battle of Iquique on that day in 1879.

WOMEN have reminded their boyfriends, husbands and male family members that they can see who they follow on Instagram and have no intention of pretending they cannot.

The warning has shattered men’s collective belief that tapping ‘Follow’ on the account of an attractive stranger was a private act nobody would ever discover, much less judge.

28-year-old Jess, not her real name, said: “It’s sweet how naive they are. Imagining we don’t go straight to their follower list once we find their accounts. I’ve done it from the car park after first dates.

“And it’s all there – Only Fans models, ‘fitness’ videos clearly designed only to give your wrist a workout and obvious AI scam bots with names like ‘Big Tits Zilla’ and ‘Legs Daily’.

“They always say ‘I don’t know her’. Of course they don’t. She’s a porn star living in LA and they’ve hardly left Doncaster. But they seem to think liking all her posts is the first step to a sexual relationship.

“It’s not like we’re hacking into the Pentagon, boys, there’s an actual search button. We’re also looking for exes, anyone a bit young for you, friends you’d clearly bang given the chance and any sudden, suspicious interest in women’s sports.

“Why don’t they understand the whole world can see when you comment under a thirst trap with ‘yummy’? I haven’t been able to look at Grandad the same way since.”

Husband Anthony, not his real name, aged 39, said: “Jess’s is a massive hypocrite. She claims she’s following my ex for ‘fashion tips’.”

In the Orthodox and Armenian Churches, it is believed that the Holy Cross used to crucify Jesus had been found at the beginning of the 4th century by St. Helena, mother of the Roman Emperor Constantine I. The Holy Cross was kept in Jerusalem and venerated by Christians.

In 610 the Persian King Khosrov II attacked the Byzantine Empire, and in 614, the Persian army entered Jerusalem. The Persians took the Holy Cross from the Church of the Holy Sepulchre.

Supported by the Armenian army, the Byzantines went after the Holy Cross, retrieving it after defeating Khosorov in battle. The Holy Cross was returned to Jerusalem. On the way to Jerusalem, the Holy Cross was carried aloft to celebrate its recapture. On its journey, it traveled through Karin in Armenia.

In the Armenian Apostolic Church, this day is known as a ‘Merelots’ a Remembrance Day of the Dead that is observed. ‘Merelots are observed on the day after five religious holidays in Armenia. The five Remembrance Days of the Dead are on the days after Christmas, Easter, Feast of the Transfiguration, Assumption of the Holy Virgin Mary and the Feast of the Exaltation of the Holy Cross.

The first church in the world was built in Armenia and Armenia was the first country to adopt Christianity as a state religion.

Accordingly, employees will have time off on May 8th from 2026. On this day in 2025, white smoke rose from the chimney of the Sistine Chapel and Leo XIV took office as the 267th pope in the history of the Church.

Leo, whose real name is Robert Francis Prevost, celebrates his name day on September 17th. This is the feast day of St Robert Bellarmine.

A member of the Society of Jesus, St. Robert Bellarmine (1542–1621) was a brilliant intellectual, professor, and preacher, engaged in the theological struggle against Protestants in the service of the papacy.

St. Robert Bellarmine is remembered for his intellectual rigour, commitment to the Church, and dedication to serving the poor. His writings continue to be studied for their theological depth and clarity, making him one of the leading figures in Catholic thought during and after the Counter-Reformation. His approach to debates, characterised by charity and respect, solidifies his reputation as a saint and teacher in the Church.

He was responsible for a revision of the Vulgate translation of the Bible and numerous works, including a catechism that enjoyed great success.

He could have been elected pope in 1605 were it not for Spain’s veto. He also took part in the judicial proceedings against Galileo and the Giordano Bruno.

A secondary school teacher could not care less what some kid they taught 20 years ago is up to these days.

Upon being approached by a former pupil while doing the big shop, history teacher Martin, not his real name, made it clear he had no interest in reminiscing about his underpaid day job.

He said: “Apparently I was an inspirational Robin Williams from Dead Poets Society figure to this guy. Shame I didn’t inspire him to leave me the f**k alone. He’s blocking the frozen chips.

“Why would I be happy to see him? He’s a grim reminder of the relentless passage of time. Since I last saw him he’s all grown up, yet I’m still droning on about Nazis to a bunch of Year 9s who don’t give a shit.

“What did he expect to happen? That I’d be overwhelmed with nostalgia and we’d pick up where we left off? The last thing we talked about was probably the failure of the League of Nations, which isn’t the basis of a friendship.

“To be honest I don’t even remember him. Pupils blend into one greasy, amorphous blob after a while. The only ones us teachers recall are the arseholes. We like to read in the local paper when they’re sent down.”

Martin’s ex-student Cad, not his real name, said: “I thought he’d be happy to hear my knowledge of history had led to a fulfilling career. But all he said was his hasn’t.”

Papua New Guinea occupies the eastern half of the island of New Guinea and its offshore islands in the southwestern Pacific Ocean.

The region was first visited by Portuguese and Spanish explorers in the first half of the sixteenth century. They didn’t establish any notable colonies, but gave the island its name and ports on the island became important staging posts for fishing expeditions.

The Spanish named the island ‘ New Guinea’ as the inhabitants reminded them of the people of Guinea in West Africa.

In 1884, Britain established the protectorate of British New Guinea over the south-eastern part of New Guinea, while Germany annexed the north-eastern part of the island.

In 1906 control of British New Guinea was transferred to the newly independent Commonwealth of Australia and renamed Territory of Papua.

The Hooded Pitohui only lives in Papua New Guinea and is the world’s only poisonous bird.

At the onset of the First World war, Australian troops occupied German New Guinea. Following Germany’s defeat, the League of Nations granted Australia a mandate to run German New Guinea, albeit separately from the Territory of Papua.

The two territories only joined together as the Territory of Papua and New Guinea in July 1949 after the whole of New Guinea had been occupied by the Japanese during the Second World War. 

Papua New Guinea is a country with a population of only seven million (about the same size as London), yet has a staggering 850 languages, which makes it the country with the most languages in the world. Each language has its own customs and traditions. The official languages are Hiri Motu, Tok Pisin, Papua New Guinean, and English.

On September 16th 1975, Papua New Guinea gained full independence from Australia, with Sir Michael Somare becoming prime minister. Papua New Guinea remains part of the Commonwealth.

The territory of modern Guatemala was once the heart of the Maya civilization, which extended across Mesoamerica. 

Most of the country was conquered by the Spanish Conquistador Pedro de Alvarado in the first half of the 16th century, becoming part of the viceroyalty of New Spain.

Guatemala was the original source for potatoes, corn, chili peppers, and avocados.

In the first decade of the nineteenth century, Spain had been weakened by its involvement in the Peninsular War in Europe and local juntas had been created as local Spanish had revolted against the rule of King Joseph, Napoleon’s brother who was installed as ruler of Spain by the French in 1808.

This taste for independent rule persisted after King Ferdinand came to the Spanish throne and on September 15th 1821, the Act of Independence of Central America was declared by the Province of Guatemala.

Following independence and despite opposition from El Salvador, the regions became part of the Mexican Empire, until they ceded to become the Federal Republic of Central America in 1823.

Cochabamba is a city in central Bolivia located in a valley in the Andes mountain range. It is the fourth largest city in the country and capital of the Cochabamba Department.

The city was part of the Incan empire when the Spanish arrived in the 16th century.

A new Spanish settlement, called Villa de Oropesa, was founded in August 1571 by order of Viceroy Francisco de Toledo, Count of Oropesa. The viceroy died in 1573 and for reasons that remain unclear to this day, a second foundation took place on September 14th 1574 by the conquistador Sebastián Barba de Padilla.

In 1786, Villa de Oropesa was elevated to city status in 1786 and adopted its name from Incan times, Cochabamba, meaning “a plain full of small lakes.”

This second foundation is celebrated as the day of the city and department. It also gives the name to the square in the city where the events of 1574 took place – La Plaza 14 de Septiembre.

The official foundation of the Cochabamba Department took place on January 23rd 1826.

ACTING isn’t the preserve of the good-looking, the talented, or even their nepo babies. Ordinary people like you perform, and these six turns in particular deserve an Oscar:

Sober at work

The Academy would be blown away if they’d seen your convincing portrayal of a sober person at work the morning after a heavy night. Your liver was still metabolising 12 pints, but like an Equity card holder you didn’t keel over and throw up once. With these talents you should be performing Shakespeare. Hamlet’s soliloquies would be a piece of piss in comparison.

Delight at receiving gift

Traditionally a difficult role to nail. Overdoing your enthusiasm looks hammy, underplay it and people get suspicious. You threaded the needle perfectly when your wife got you that spa weekend gift voucher instead of the Nerf gun you’d dropped hints about. And that ad-lib about how you’d already been thinking of buying a relaxing hotel break for yourself? Inspired.

Interest in other people’s exercise regimes

Meryl Streep has never pretended to look fascinated as someone drones on about their 5K personal best. That’s because it’s beyond her abilities as an actor. You made it look effortless though when you nodded through your colleague’s tedious explanation while thinking about Terminator 2. Have you ever thought about getting an agent? Your talents are going to waste in the office.

Happy to stay friends

When you were in a relationship you gave a convincing portrayal of somebody who wasn’t boring. Once your ex saw through your charade and binned you off though, you gave an even better performance as ‘man happy to stay friends’. It’s hard for actors to cry on cue, but it’s even more difficult to hold back tears when you’re heartbroken like you did. Bravo.

Fascinated by friend’s young children

Parents are allowed to find their kids irritating or tedious, but other people are expected to be enthralled when they throw food on the floor. You went full method actor by feigning interest in a child’s crap finger painting when they weren’t even in the room. Either you’re this generation’s Marlon Brando or you have no artistic taste.

Pretending to be fine

The toughest of all acting roles. It would’ve been so easy to slip out of character when your friend asked how you are, but nobody wants to hear a Brechtian monologue of despair and alienation. Smiling and saying you’re fine is your career-defining part, but now you’ve been typecast into doing it every day until you die.

According to tradition, the Maldives was converted to Islam in the year 1153 AD by a Muslim from Maghrib (Morocco) by the name of Abul Barakat Yoosuf Al Barbary. Abdul Barakat was a Hafiz, someone who had memorised the entire Holy Quran and he set about converting the local king, Sri Tribuvana Aditiya, to Islam. 

After much effort and perseverance, he managed to convert the king, who took the name Muhammed Ibn Abdulla. Following the conversion of the king and his family, the king sent missionaries to convert the local people on the various islands in the Maldives.

After the conversion of the islands, Abdul Barakat stayed in the Maldives for the rest of his life. His tomb is called Medhu Ziyaaraiy and stands within the grounds of Hukuru Mosque in the capital Malé, the first Friday masque to be built on the islands.

Before the conversion to Islam, the islands had been following the Buddhist religion since the 4th century BC.

Nowadays Islam is the state religion of the Maldives and all citizens must follow the Islamic faith.

The Maldives is the smallest Muslim country in the world.

The Day Maldives Embraced Islam was first celebrated in 1374. The celebrations ended in 1387, and it wasn’t until 2001 that the Day Maldives Embraced Islam became a national holiday.

PARENTS demand presents but want nothing. Your attempt to treat them to something different will be resented and reviled:

His driving experience

He was an avid Top Gear watcher and you’ve put up with years of him claiming Lando Norris is shit, so he should love this. Until discovering he now hates modern cars for not being diesel, thinks anything two-seater is for ‘show-offs’ and when he hits the tarmac drives like he’s manoeuvring a Ford Fiesta around Aldi car park.

Their tasting menu

When food isn’t labelled with Prince’s or Hellmann’s it’s already wrong. And this becomes an attempt to poison them when espuma sits on a page that reads like a GP pamphlet. Every fresh course is not gastronomic genius but a fresh humiliation for you, apparently proving the foul local chippie has been unbeatable since 1976.

Her night at the opera

Mum’s bragged about wearing her gladrags and going for a classy night out to all the girls at aquaerobics, but didn’t fully understand it would mean three hours of fantastical nonsense being shouted at her in German singspeil. She sits in complete silence throughout and will never mention it again.

Their murder mystery evening

The perfect gift for a dad who still does Morse impressions and a mum who treats Richard Osman as a religion. But for all the murder night’s pomp, because it isn’t real they’ll say there was too much try-hard over-acting and they thought the other man did it. Other relatives are briefed at length to ‘get us anything except that bloody murder’.

His clay pigeon shooting day

Dad loves war in all its forms, which is why there’s a framed painting of a Spitfire in the lounge and he corrects strangers about the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact. Does that translate to him enjoying a day shooting a gun? It does not. Apparently, you learn later from your sister, it was ‘nothing but bang bang bang. Space Invaders for idiots’.

Their hotel getaway

Luxury, staff, duck-down pillows and a complimentary high tea. Except first they moan about getting there because it’s miles from a motorway, then they feel the staff are looking down on them, then there aren’t any sandwiches they like, then they ‘couldn’t sleep’ because ‘someone had been in our room’, then they steal the slippers.

The Jewish Holiday of Rosh Hashanah is generally known as the New Year’s Day of the Jewish calendar, but has a fourfold meaning – It is the Jewish New Year, the Day of Judgement, the Day of Remembrance, and the Day of Shofar Blowing.

• It is the Day of Judgement – Jews across the world examine their past deeds and asks for forgiveness for their sins.
• It is the Day of Shofar Blowing – The Shofar (an ancient musical horn usually made of a ram’s horn) is blown in temples to herald the beginning of the 10 day period known as the High Holy Days. The sound of the horn is meant to awaken the hearers from their spiritual slumber, to make them aware of their actions and their repercussions
• It is the Day of Remembrance – As Jews remember the history of their people and pray for Israel.
• And of course, it is New Year’s Day – Celebrated with its holiday greeting cards, special prayers, and festive and eating sweet foods such as apples dipped in honey (to ensure sweetness in the New Year).

According to Judaism, Rosh Hashanah is traditionally the anniversary of the creation of Adam and Eve.

The ten days starting with Rosh Hashanah and ending with Yom Kippur are commonly known as the Days of Repentance or the Days of Awe (Yamim Noraim). This is a time for introspection, a time to consider the sins of the previous year and repent (Teshuvah) before Yom Kippur. Jews are expected to reach out to friends, loved ones and community members and apologise to them for any wrongs they did to them during the year. And any apology must be sincere and meaningful.

ALRIGHT, you’re not that fascinating, but your company is less predictable than the 10,000th hour of Tank Wars. Get that phone down with these techniques: 

Make a polite enquiry

Interrupt his Block Blast! flow by passive-aggressively asking questions about his day, the weather, if what he’s doing is important or a waste of a life. Place the correct stress emphasis to help him understand that although these might seem like polite enquiries, they are in fact strict instructions to stop what the f**k he’s doing and pay you attention.

Give practical support

If your partner is on Disney Dreamlight Valley, move over and begin suggesting alternative strategies and admonishing silly mistakes. She’ll be delighted by your presence and grateful for your help. If she continues to make errors, ask her to give you the phone so you can show her how to do it properly.

Create a distraction

Interrupt Wordle with texts asking if it’s okay to substitute yoghurt for fabric softener, or calling a friend to say ‘Yeah the medical results are through. Yeah positive. Yeah I can’t really talk right now.’ In extreme cases, call the police and claim she’s holding you hostage. It’s emotionally true.

Hack his phone with AI

Apparently rogue AI are swarming all over the internet looking for hacking targets, so recruit one and set it on your husband’s phone. Suddenly his game of Alto’s Adventure is interrupted with achievements like ’10,000 hours you’ll never get back played!’ and ‘Congratulations! Your wife hates you!’

Offer sex

Come on to him, which happens so infrequently it’s up there with solar eclipses, and lure him away from the tense, equally matched game of Fibbage. If he’s ignoring actual real-life boobs for an online opponent and a screen, then cut off his cock. It will be a mercy.

Threaten to leave

When a high score is imminent on PUBG Mobile, it has to be stopped. He can’t be allowed that dopamine. Wheel in a suitcase and calmly tell him it’s the game or you. Expect him to choose the game, then change the wifi password from the car outside and wait for the anguished screams as a place on the leaderboard is denied him. Drive away without regret.

The Ethiopian calendar is a solar calendar based on the Egyptian and Julian calendars and was brought to Ethiopia by missionaries. The year consists of 12 months of 30 days and a thirteenth month of five or six timekeeping days.

Pagume, the 13th month in the Ethiopian calendar, comes from the Greek word epagomene, which means ‘days forgotten when a year is calculated’. This month has five days or six days in a leap year. According to the Ethiopian calendar, a year has 365 days, six hours, two minutes and 24 seconds. Once every four years, the six hours add up to 24 hours and become the sixth day in a leap year. Once in 600 years, the two minutes and 24 seconds add up to a full day and form a seventh day.

Based on the Julian calendar basis, the Ethiopian calendar is currently seven years and eight months behind the Gregorian calendar used in most of the world.

Enkutatash means the ‘gift of jewels’. It is said to refer to the Queen of Sheba returning from her visit to King Solomon in Jerusalem in 980 BC. On the Queen’s arrival back in Ethiopia, her chiefs welcomed her by filling her treasury with jewels (‘enku’). It may also refer to the countryside, as this time of year coincides with the end of the rainy season meaning the landscape is covered with Adey Abeba, whose bright yellow flowers appear almost in celebration of the impending harvest.

Celebrations for the Ethiopian New Year usually last for a week and are focused on family events. The holiday starts on New Year’s Eve, when each household light wooden torches called “chibo” in Amharic language, that symbolise the coming of the new season of sunshine after the end of the rainy season that has prevailed since June.