Occasional Digest

Before the Europeans arrived in the Americas, Grenada was home to the Indigenous peoples. Christopher Columbus sighted it during his third voyage to the Americas in 1498.

Grenada had been occupied by various European nations since the start colonization of the new world in the sixteenth century. In 1649, France took full control of the island becoming one of the wealthiest colonies due to its sugar production.

Following French defeat in the Seven Years’ war, the Paris of Treaty ceded Grenada to Great Britain in 1763. Having overcome a brief rebellion by pro-French forces, Grenada remained a British colony for over two hundred years.

Movements toward independence had begun in the 1950s and in March 1967, Grenada became an Associated State and was granted full autonomy over its internal affairs.

Independence from the United Kingdom was granted on 7 February 1974. Eric Gairy became the first Prime Minister of Grenada.

Grenada produces a third of the world’s nutmeg. The odd-looking blob on the left of the flag? That’s a nutmeg kernel.

EVEN when idiot parents deign to give their child an ordinary name they cannot get it right, for there is no spellcheck in the registry office. The bearers of these are marked for life:

Aimee

A misspelling so commonplace it’s now deemed acceptable, this like everything unacceptable began in America. Presumably the parents knew the word ‘aim’ already from time in the armed forces and/or first-person shooters, and had never got far enough into the alphabet to be familiar with the letter ‘y’. So two Es it is.

Michalle

Lends a little continental sophistication, the parents comfort themselves after realising their error. Meanwhile the child spends her life on the phone to call centres saying ‘no, it’s actually C-H-A-L-L’ to her own humiliation. She won’t ever forgive her mum and dad for what they’ve done. Nobody ever could.

Steaven

Faced with two choices, Steven or Stephen, these parents chose a third way. A wrong way. A f**k up, or a purposeful decision? What was the goal? Uniqueness? Originality? Annoying his teachers so much they refuse to say his name, giving him a free ride on all manner of developmental issues? Sometime normal people can be as abhorrent as celebrities.

Leesa

You know instantly that these parents spell ‘lose’ with two Os. So daft or lazy they’ve gone with phonetic spelling, they’ve inadvertently come up with something almost acceptably middle-class. Coupled with a double-barrelled surname will mean this child almost certainly grows up to have a credit score she doesn’t deserve.

Stefany

These parents do know the letter Y, to their child’s detriment. They’ve f**ked her over twice with first an F and then a Y, creating a name that seems more like a newly-coined adjective meaning ‘a bit like Stefan’.

Micheal

There is a silver lining here in that if you’re hanging with the uneducated, they’ll swear this is the correct spelling. To the point of laughing at and/or fighting those who dare correct it. Stick to the lower of society’s strata, this name is saying, and never dare to dream. A message which will be heeded.

The Treaty made New Zealand a part of the British Empire, guaranteed Māori rights to their land and gave Māori the rights of British citizens.

The treaty was signed in Waitangi, a town in the Bay of Islands, by a group of Maori chiefs and the British Government, as represented by Lieutenant-Governor Hobson.

In February 1840, it was at Te Tii marae where Ngāpuhi (the largest Māori iwi – tribe) hosted around 10,000 Māori to debate the agreement for several days. On February 6th, Te Tiriti o Waitangi was signed by around 40 Māori rangatira (chiefs) and representatives of the British Crown outside British Government Representative James Busby’s house (now known as Treaty House) on the Waitangi grounds.

The treaty (‘te Tiriti’) was subsequently signed by another 500 Māori chiefs in various locations throughout the country.

The Māori are the Indigenous Polynesian people of New Zealand, which they called Aotearoa (“land of the long white cloud”). They arrived from Polynesian islands sometime before 1300 AD. They are the first known inhabitants before the Europeans arrived in the early 1800s.

Burundi gained full independence from Belgium in 1962. This began a period of instability in the fledgling landlocked nation.

It moved from a constitutional monarchy to a republic and lurched into civil war and ethnic cleansing. In 1987, Major Pierre Buyoya led a military coup d’état to overthrow Col. Bagaza, who himself had come to power in a military coup.

Before returning to a democratically elected government, Buyoya instigated a Charter of National Unity. The charter was intended to abolish ethnic discrimination and give a mandate for the government to write a new constitution.

A referendum on the charter was held in Burundi in February 1991.  It was approved by 89.77% of voters with a 96% turnout.

Following the referendum, work began on the drafting of a new constitution which was approved in a referendum and promulgated on March 13th 1992.

Following the referendum, President Buyoya declared February 5th as National Unity Day in an attempt to reconcile the warring ethnic groups of the Tutsi and the Hutu.

At the time, the new constitution did little to dampen the ethnic tensions in the country with the newly-elected President being assassinated in 1993 and widespread ethnic killing of Tutsis taking place a year later.

And even though there are still some ethnic tensions in the country, the public holiday endures as the attempt to introduce the Charter of National Unity is seen as an important milestone on Burundi’s journey to peaceful modernity.

A WOMAN has made up a feline scapegoat to blame for any personal noises or interruptions when in meetings with co-workers.

Recruitment consultant Carolyn, not her real name, created the entirely fictional cat after colleagues on her weekly team catch-up check-in workflow management session queried excessive gurgling, munching, and swearing coming from her.

Carolyn: “It’s an excuse for everything. Farts? Cat. Sighing? Cat. Laughing when Darren can’t work the slide deck? Cat. That clattering? That’s not me doing the washing up. It’s the cat adorably knocking stuff over.

“My manager can bollock me, but no one can berate an innocent animal unaware of quarterly targets. One time I took a meeting on the toilet and blamed it on the cat throwing up.

“It provides me with a bulletproof alibi. I even claimed the cat was named ‘F**ker’ – I said I named him after my ex – to give me an excuse to suddenly exclaim that during company town halls.

“It really is invaluable. This is nothing to do with me wishing I had a cat but not wanting to be known as a cat woman.”

Manager Tom said, “We know Carolyn doesn’t have a cat. No real cat owner would ever have the willpower to go this long without showing the rest of us at least twenty photos of it, all of which look the same.”

Portuguese colonisation of this west African country began with coastal settlements and trading posts founded in the 16th century., though it wasn’t until the 1920s when Portugal could claim control of the whole region now known as Angola.

By the start of the 1960s, several African nations had gained independence from colonial control, such as Ghana and Angola’s neighbour, Congo. While the movement for African nationalism seemed unstoppable, one European nation instead tightened its grip on its overseas colonies – Portugal.

With the demand for Angolan nationalism increasing, tensions over the forced cultivation of cotton erupted into violence in February 1961.

In Luanda, On the morning of February 4th, black militants ambushed a police patrol-car and stormed the Civil Jail of São Paulo, the Military Detection House and police barracks, to attempt to free political prisoners that were being held in those facilities.

This marked the start of the Angolan War of Independence which would continue as part of the Portuguese Colonial War until April 1974, when a new more-liberal regime came to power in Portugal and declared a cease-fire.

Europeans first visited Mozambique during the voyages of the Portuguese explorer, Vasco Da Gama at the end of the fifteenth century. By 1530, Portugal had established a strong presence in the region effectively controlling the area.

In September 1964, growing unrest amongst many Mozambicans together with similar movements in other Portuguese territories led to the start of an armed guerrilla campaign against the Portuguese.

The anticolonial struggle was led by Eduardo Mondlane of the Mozambique Liberation Front (Frelimo).

Frelimo launched a guerrilla war against targets in northern Mozambique, claiming to have established its own administrative, educational, and economic networks in the northern districts.

On February 3rd 1969, a bomb was planted in a book sent to Mondlane at the FRELIMO Headquarters in Dar es Salaam, Tanzania. When he opened the package, it exploded and killed him. Although nobody was ever charged with the killing, most historians believe that it was the work of the Portuguese government rather than political in-fighting within Frelimo.

It is estimated that up to 10,000 Mozambiquans died in the conflict that lasted almost ten years, before a ceasefire with Portugal in 1974. Mozambique gained its independence the following year.

St. Brigid is one of the three Patron Saints of Ireland, the other two are St. Columba and of course, St.Patrick.

Brigid is a Catholic and Orthodox saint. She was a pupil of St. Patrick and became famous for her kindness, mercy, and her miracles. In addition, Brigitte founded Ireland’s most famous mixed (male and female) monastery in County Kildare.

In The Life of Brigid, her biographer, Cogitosus, recorded that Brigid formed an alliance with the hermit Conleth and, together, they created a double monastery from the Early Christian tradition. She was abbess and he was bishop. Within 100 years of her death, there was a thriving, egalitarian monastery of men and women, living and practicing their spirituality equally, side by side.

Perhaps the most famous story about St. Brigid surrounds the legend of her cloak. When Brigid was refused by the King of Leinster the land to build a convent, she asked if she could have as much land as her cloak would cover. The King allowed this, but was surprised to see Brigid’s cloak grow and grow, as four of her friends took a corner each and walked pulled the cloak to cover many acres. The King then granted St. Brigid the land, and any other supplies she required, before converting to Christianity soon after.

According to another legend, Brigid gave her father’s jeweled sword to a needy man for him to barter for food.

Brigid was believed to have been buried at her monastic church in Kildare. Around the ninth century, her remains were moved to the northern town of Downpatrick in hopes of avoiding the pillages of Vikings and others. That shrine was later destroyed by English troops during the Protestant Reformation.

By White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt

THE president has the greatest bruised hand in history, and the liberal media’s speculation about it proves what liars they are. This is how he got it:

He punched through a foot of steel

The wall between the US and Mexico, the greatest wall in history, is 18 feet of solid concrete with a core of US steel. It is also a mile high. Nevertheless, the president was unhappy with it. ‘I could punch through that core,’ he said, and proceeded to do so. ‘Make it titanium,’ he said, and it was done. No immigrants will enter the US ever again.

He spends nights working for ICE

Not content with being the most important president since George Washington – a verbatim quote from Washington’s ghost – our president is out there on the streets of Minneapolis every night rounding up illegals. One murderously drove an SUV at him at 115mph. He swatted it aside one-handed then humanely arrested the driver.

His body is spontaneously generating gold

So rarefied and wonderful is the president’s anatomy that he has now begun to generate 24-carat gold from within his very bloodstream. To benefit the nation this is being extracted and placed in the US gold reserve at Fort Knox, which because it has his blood in it is now 100 per cent owned by the president and legally his to do what he likes with.

Europe did it

Europe, which is the culmination of the world’s total evil erupting like a volcano of bitterness and spite, needed to be set right by Trump this week. He went over there and he told them how it was going to be. Sadly, their stale decadence sets off his allergies, manifesting as a bruise like allergies do.

Biden in a mech suit

Sleepy Joe Biden, the worst president in American history who rigged the 2020 election, smashed into the White House wearing a Neon Genesis Evangelion mech suit to kill the president. He did not succeed, and lay beaten, broken and bleeding at the end of the savage encounter. The president suffered slight bruising and disturbed sleep.

A REFORMED character has admitted he cannot bring to mind the last occasion when he exposed his bare buttocks to the world as a statement.

Martin, not hos real name,, aged 38, is now so far removed from his mooning youth that he is a Lib Dem councillor but misses the clear, forthright communication that was dropping his trousers and pressing his bottom through the rear window of a moving car.

Bishop said: “It was an accepted gesture of non-compliance when I was young, much more effective than the middle finger or V-sign. I’d call it performance art.

“I did it at school, Mr Bishop never catching me because he couldn’t positively identify it was my arse. I did it in Magaluf against a bar window, and then successfully chatted up the woman I’d mooned at. I did it off a motorway bridge.

“I even did it after being dumped by a girl once, at the end of her garden path with her parents watching. I like to think they still talk about me from time to time.

“God, when was the last time? Maybe Warren’s stag do, when I pressed these now-hirsute buttocks against a minibus window and mooned a whole nightclub queue to the applause of the men? Years ago.

“Do men still moon? Or have smartphones killed this cheeky form of self-expression, like everything else good in this world? I hope so. I hope so for their sakes.”