Zara McDermott has made a BBC series about stalking but was shocked by her experiences
Laura’s ex broke into her car and followed her to and from work. He bombarded her with hundreds of unwanted messages. She moved house to get rid of him. He found out where she lives, and stands outside at night, watching.
“This has been going on for four years,” she says. “There doesn’t seem to be an ending. When we split up, my neighbours told me that he used to turn up at my door and look through the kitchen window at seven in the morning. He was sending me 200 messages a day.
“I even had holes in my back fence and every time I covered them up, more appeared. When I went around the back, you could see straight into my living room. I had a note left at my house that said ‘caught in my trap’. Now I am checking my cameras outside all the time because he is watching me. He keeps turning up at like three or four in the morning and I catch him on my Ring doorbell.
“The person I am seeing is standing there anywhere between 30 minutes to an hour and a half. They are just stood there and then they disappear. I am convinced it is him. I cannot think of anyone else like a passer-by or a dog walker… they would not just stand there for an hour staring at the house in the middle of the night.”
Laura’s nightly reality would be enough to break most people. For Love Island star turned filmmaker Zara McDermott, one night at Laura’s place was more than enough. In her forthcoming BBC mini-series To Catch a Stalker, Zara admits: “I could not relax. I could not sleep. This is how some women live every single day. It would absolutely destroy me.
“Even the creaking sound of the house is freaking me out a bit.” Zara, 28, wanted to reflect the reality facing thousands of women in the UK who live in fear for their lives because of the actions of a stalker.
Laura’s ex has already been convicted twice for stalking and was given a suspended sentence. When Zara visited, he was out on bail having been arrested for breaching the terms of the suspended sentence.
The former reality star – who has never experienced what it is like being stalked – offers to spend the night and keep watch in case the figure returns, and is warned to dial 999 immediately if she spots someone.
Zara admits: “I want to keep her company for the evening. I am really interested in getting an understanding as to what she has been going through.
“I am staying the night to keep an eye on the door bell so Laura gets the chance for a good night’s sleep. But I almost jumped at my own reflection and I feel a bit paranoid in this house.”
Later, Zara says: “It’s nearly 2am. Laura has given me access to her cameras and I can’t relax because I am waiting for this figure to appear.” Zara is relieved to report the next morning that the figure did not appear across the street.
But she tells Laura: “I didn’t sleep much. I spent most of the night checking the camera. But it makes you realise how distinctive that figure on your screenshots is. It is undoubtedly someone because it is so pitch black.”
Anxious Laura struggles to hide her tears as she tells Zara exactly how her ex has turned her life upside down with his creepy behaviour. She says: “It is quite unpredictable but through the six-week holidays it was about eight times.
“I had to move here because of it. Before I’d stay at my sister’s every other weekend, just because I did not feel safe at home. Then a vehicle that is very similar to his started driving past my sister’s house at 2am.
“You know it is him but it’s not like he is knocking on the door and waving at the window – which is what the police need.
“So I think this is why it is so difficult to get him charged. I am lucky that he has already been charged with stalking but I don’t want to move again because he is just going to keep finding where I live.”
In Zara’s documentary, Laura adds: “Although I am not with him, I feel my life is still controlled around him and I think that is what I find most frustrating and quite scary because how can you escape?”
She tells Zara after her stay: “It is nice to have someone who has experienced it. I feel believed – which is very rare when you are stalked.”
Zara discovers Laura’s ordeal could have some positive resolution if the offender is given a stalking prevention order. The police can apply for this civil order to protect anyone at risk of stalking, and it does not require the same standard of proof as a criminal conviction.
An SPO can ban a stalker from going near a victim’s home or a place they often visit, and from contacting or approaching them.
In contrast with a restraining order, an SPO can also force a suspect to have a mental health assessment, sign on at a police station or attend an intervention programme.
The National Stalking Helpline has received over 75,000 contacts from victims of stalking since 2010. Anti-stalking charity the Suzy Lamplugh Trust, named after the estate agent who disappeared in 1986, says: “When many people hear the word stalking they still think of a stranger lurking in the shadows or a delusional fan following a celebrity. About 45% of people who contact the helpline are being stalked by ex-intimates and a further third have had a prior acquaintance with their stalker.
“Just because you know or knew the stalker does not mean that the situation is your fault – it is still stalking and it is wrong.”
A 2024 report found police forces often lack a sufficient understanding of stalking, conduct flawed investigations, fail to respond to breaches of orders and lack a consistent and effective strategy to support victims.
Latest figures say one in seven people aged 16 and over in England and Wales have been a victim of stalking at least once, with women and younger people the most targeted. An estimated 1.5 million people aged six years and over experienced stalking in the year ending March 2024. Among women, 20.2% have experienced stalking since the age of 16, as have 8.7% of men.
In the documentary, a Met Police detective tells Zara: “Many suspects have a pattern that is fixated and obsessive. He does not stop just because a victim changes her number. You can find their TikTok or Snapchat, we all leave a footprint.”
Zara adds: “The impact this crime has on its victims is truly devastating.
“I have seen women have to change their entire lives, their entire routine, but also live in constant fear.”
The documentary will be screened just days after a convicted stalker of singer Cheryl Tweedy admitted another breach of a restraining order after turning up at the singer’s home. Daniel Bannister pleaded guilty to a single charge of breaching a restraining order on Thursday.
* Zara McDermott: To Catch A Stalker launches on BBC Three and BBC iPlayer on Tuesday July 1 at 9pm.
