mate

Without a doubt, it is important to capture the reflections of a vice president who found herself in an unprecedented situation after the president was pressured to withdraw from the 2024 election. And “107 Days,” a taut, often eye-opening account — written with the help of Geraldine Brooks — takes you inside the rooms where it happened, as well as what led up to Kamala Harris’ remarkable run.

For one, apparently MSNBC’s Lawrence O’Donnell first gave Harris the idea she should seek the presidency in 2020. Harris and her husband, Doug Emhoff, were having breakfast at a restaurant near their Brentwood home when O’Donnell “wandered up to our table to talk about the dire consequences of a second Trump term.” Harris, then in her first term as a U.S. senator, recounts that O’Donnell bluntly suggested: “‘You should run for president.’ I honestly had not thought about it until that moment,” she writes in “107 Days.”

Later, Harris also reveals that Tim Walz was not her first choice for running mate: Pete Buttigieg was, though she ultimately concluded the country wasn’t ready for a gay man in the role.

“We were already asking a lot of America: to accept a woman, a Black woman, a Black woman married to a Jewish man,” she writes. She assumes Buttigieg felt similarly, but they never discussed it.

We do not glean much more than we already knew or assumed about President Biden’s life-changing 2024 phone call that set Harris on this path. Pleas for Biden to step aside had been building following his disastrous debate performance less than five months before the election, but by that time Harris had given up on the idea that he would withdraw from the race. But on Sunday, July 21, Harris had just finished making pancakes for her grandnieces at the vice president’s residence and was settling in to watch a cooking show with them when “No Caller ID” came up on her secure phone.

“I need to talk to you,” Biden rasps, then battling COVID-19. Without fanfare, he told her: “I’ve decided I’m dropping out.” “Are you sure?” Harris replies, to which Biden responds: “I’m sure. I’m going to announce in a few minutes.” In italics, we are made privy to what Harris is thinking during their brief phone call: “Really?” Give me a bit more time. The whole world is about to change. I’m here in sweatpants.”

If we wanted in on the powerful feelings that must have been swirling within each of them during such an exchange, or a nod to the momentousness of the moment — no dice. The conversation shifted to the timing of Biden’s endorsement of Harris, which Biden’s staff wanted to delay and which she wanted immediately. Politics, not sentiment, reigned.

The Atlantic book excerpt published earlier this month, it turns out, accurately represents the overall tone of “107 Days.” A thread running throughout is one of bitterness toward Biden’s inner circle, whom Harris felt had been poisoning the well since she first took office: “The public statements, the whispering campaigns, and the speculation had done a world of damage,” she recounts, and perhaps laid the groundwork for her defeat. While she had a warm relationship with the president himself, Harris believes she was never trusted by the first lady or the president’s closest advisors, nor did they throw their full weight behind her as the Democratic nominee.

At the same time, she never doubted that she was the right person for the job. She writes, “I knew I was the candidate in the strongest position to win. … The most qualified and ready. The highest name recognition.” She also calculates that the president and his team thought she was the least bad option to replace him because “I was the only person who would preserve his legacy.” “At this point,” she adds, “anyone else was bound to throw him — and all the good he had achieved — right under the bus.”

For those who are cynical about politics, “107 Days” will not alter your view. After Biden announces his withdrawal, First Lady Jill Biden welcomes Second Gentleman Emhoff into the fray, advising: “Be careful what you wish for. You’re about to see how horrible the world is.” Her senior adviser David Plouffe encourages Harris to distance herself from the president on the campaign trail, because “People hate Joe Biden.” Again and again, Harris provides examples of being left out of the loop or not robustly supported by his inner circle. She writes that her feelings for the president “were grounded in warmth and loyalty” but had become “more complicated over time.” She claims never to have doubted Biden’s competence, even while she worried about how he appeared to the public.

“On his worst day,” she writes, “he was more deeply knowledgeable, more capable of exercising judgment, and far more compassionate than Donald Trump at his best.” Still, his decision about seeking a second term shouldn’t “have been left to an individual’s ego, an individual’s ambition,” she concludes in an observation that grabbed headlines upon its publication in the Atlantic excerpt.

The exhilaration that Harris’ campaign frequently exuded in those early rallies is summarized here, but those accounts don’t capture the joy. Some of the details she chooses to highlight tamp down the excitement. For example, at their first rally together after picking Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz to be her running mate, Walz, Harris and their families greet an audience of 10,000 people in Philadelphia. Though Harris writes, “We rode the high of the crowd that night,” she also notes, “When Tim clasped my hand to thrust it high in an enthusiastic victory gesture, he was so tall that the entire front of my jacket rose up.” She makes “a mental note to tell him: From now on, when we do that, you gotta bend your elbow.”

The Kamala Harris I saw on the campaign trail and enthusiastically voted for is often in evidence on the page. She is smart, savvy, funny and tough. As in many of her stump speeches and media interviews, she tends to recite her accomplishments as if reading from a resume, which sometimes reads as defensive. But she is also indefatigable: She believes that she must win to save democracy, yet she seems to shoulder that formidable burden without breaking a sweat.

“107 Days” does an excellent job of conveying the difficulty of seeking — and occupying — high office, and suggests that if she’d won, Harris’ resilience and ambition would have served her well as the leader of the free world. Many of her insights are astute, though occasionally tinged with rancor. She does accept responsibility for certain missteps, such as when she was asked on “The View” if she would have done anything differently than Biden had she been in charge. She reflects that her response — “There is nothing that comes to mind” — landed as if she’d “pulled the pin on a hand grenade.” But she doesn’t attribute her eventual loss to that or any other miscalculation: She simply needed more time to make her case.

I craved a soaring moment, a rallying cry. I didn’t find hope or inspiration within these pages — the book felt more like an obligatory postmortem with an already established conclusion. If an aim of this memoir was to rally the troops for a Harris run in 2028, “107 Days” falls short of lighting a fire. The brilliant, charismatic woman who came close to breaking the ultimate glass ceiling has given us an essential portrait of an unforgettable turning point in her journey, but “107 Days” is mainly absent the perspective and blueprint for going forward that so many of us hunger for. A few years out, that wisdom may come.

Haber is a writer, editor and publishing strategist. She was director of Oprah’s Book Club and books editor for O, the Oprah Magazine.

WASHINGTON — Former Vice President Kamala Harris says she would have picked Pete Buttigieg as her running mate last year but America wasn’t ready for the pairing, according to an excerpt of her new book.

Harris writes in an excerpt of “107 Days” published Wednesday in The Atlantic that former President Biden’s transportation secretary was her “first choice,” adding that he “would have been an ideal partner — if I were a straight white man.”

“But we were already asking a lot of America: to accept a woman, a Black woman, a Black woman married to a Jewish man. Part of me wanted to say, Screw it, let’s just do it. But knowing what was at stake, it was too big of a risk,” she writes.

Her thoughts on selecting a running mate come as potential 2028 contenders begin traveling the U.S. in the early days of the second Trump administration.

In the book excerpt, she writes about her love of working with Buttigieg and her friendship with him and his husband, but that the two of them on the Democratic ticket would have been too risky.

“And I think Pete also knew that — to our mutual sadness,” she writes.

It wasn’t immediately clear at what point she decided against Buttigieg, a former South Bend, Indiana, mayor and former intelligence officer in the Navy Reserves. Buttigieg emerged as a national political figure during his 2020 presidential run in which he finished atop the Iowa caucuses.

The Associated Press didn’t immediately hear back from a spokesperson for Buttigieg.

After Biden dropped out of the presidential race in July 2024 following a disastrous debate performance, Harris was left to head up the Democratic ticket.

She picked Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz as her running mate after his attack line against former President Donald Trump and his running mate, then-Ohio Sen. JD Vance — “These guys are just weird” — spread widely. They ultimately lost.

Harris’ book, whose title is referencing the length of her condensed presidential campaign, is set to be published by Simon & Schuster on Tuesday.

In this episode of Centre Stage, our guest is Dr Gabor Mate, a retired physician, author and Holocaust survivor who has written extensively on trauma and child development, as well as Israel and Palestine.

Mate talks about the colonial foundations of Zionism, how living under it has traumatised Palestinians and the ways mainstream media distorts the realities on the ground in Gaza.

Phil Lavelle is a TV news correspondent at Al Jazeera.

1

DEAR DEIDRE: OPENING up our relationship has been thrilling and better than I expected, until my boyfriend’s latest suggestion – that he sleeps with my childhood best friend.

Non-monogamy made our sex life far more exciting as we shared our adventures with each other. I’ve had three different partners, he’s had two and we always talk about our experiences after. It’s such a thrill.

But now he’s been making a move on a friend of mine and it feels too close to home. And instead of just talking about their adventures after, he wants to record it and ‘enjoy the footage together’.

His request feels like he’s overstepping the mark. I almost thought we didn’t need to say it but surely we shouldn’t be bringing in people we know already – let alone people we are close to.

And it’s one thing talking about our escapades and another thing being confronted with the evidence.

My boyfriend and I met three years ago in London, after I moved from the south coast. I’m 27 and he’s 28.

We’ve been living together for just over two years and everything has been great.

It was my suggestion to try polyamory. Although at first he was cautious, after we both researched how to open up your relationship, he agreed to give it a go.

We’ve been non-monagamous for over a year now and make sure that we keep checking in with each other. 

Our rules are simple, that we tell each other who we are seeing, and that we let the other person know our relationship status.

People warned me it would wreck our relationship but I’d say it’s done the opposite – up until now anyway. Our sex life is so much better and we talk about our sexual exploits with others which is so erotic.

I look at friends in long term relationships and can see they are getting bored staying in together night after night.

There is always so much going on in London, and I’ve loved exploring all the different areas when I’ve been on different dates.

I’ve seen three different guys regularly and my boyfriend has two regular women he hooks up with.

I’ve never felt a twinge of jealousy before, but I could tell when he came back to my home town with me at Christmas he’d taken a shine to my friend.

Not long after we returned he told me he’s started messaging her and was going to ask her out.

He seemed surprised when I got upset. 

He’d be making a big effort to see her as he’d have to travel over an hour and a half to get there. 

Am I being over sensitive or does he want to go too far?

DEIDRE SAYS: You’ve researched how to make non-monogamy work so will know the first rule is that you both have to be 100% happy with the arrangement.

The moment one of you feels unhappy or even unsure is the time to pause and reevaluate.

Talk to your boyfriend about your reservations. He won’t appreciate your position unless you explain.

This potential liaison isn’t solely about your boyfriend and his extra partner, it’s also about a pre-existing relationship between you and your childhood friend.

While you are totally at ease with your open relationship in London, bringing it closer to home, where you grew up and your family is, understandably feels different.

And as you say, your boyfriend would have to make a big effort to meet your friend, which could mean he’s getting emotionally involved. 

Opening up your relationship for sexual relationships is one thing, but multiple romantic relationships can be much harder to navigate.

Again you both need to be clear about what you want from non-monogamy – is this about multiple sexual partners, or are extra emotional relationships okay?

My support pack Non-Monogamy explains more.

Dear Deidre’s Non-Monogamy Files

Deidre’s mailbag is bursting with open relationship problems. One reader was cut off by her best friend after finding out about her polyamorous relationship; another from a different subscriber who struggled with the reality of telling his family about his throuple, while one man was asked to open his relationship to hide his wife’s true sexuality.

Get in touch with the Dear Deidre team

Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our trained counsellors.

Sally Land is the Dear Deidre Agony Aunt. She achieved a distinction in the Certificate in Humanistic Integrative Counselling, has specialised in relationships and parenting. She has over 20 years of writing and editing women’s issues and general features.

Passionate about helping people find a way through their challenges, Sally is also a trustee for the charity Family Lives. Her team helps up to 90 people every week. 

Sally took over as The Sun’s Agony Aunt when Deidre Sanders retired from the The Dear Deidre column four years ago.

The Dear Deidre Team Of Therapists Also Includes:

Kate Taylor: a sex and dating writer who is also training to be a counsellor. Kate is an advisor for dating website OurTime and is the author of five self-help books.

Jane Allton: a stalwart of the Dear Deidre for over 20 years. Jane is a trained therapist, who specialises in family issues. She has completed the Basic Counselling Skills Level 1, 2, and 3. She also achieved the Counselling and Psychotherapy (CPCAB) Level 2 Certificate in Counselling Studies.

Catherine Thomas: with over two decades worth of experience Catherine has also trained as a therapist, with the same credentials as Jane. She specialises in consumer and relationship issues.

Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and confidential form and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you.

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