Kavanaugh

Just one of the nine Supreme Court justices thought it was appropriate for Roger Goodell — whose primary job as NFL commissioner is to protect the league — to decide whether the NFL’s hiring practices are still racist.

And it happens to be the same justice whose close friend is an NFL owner.

In fact, the friendship between Justice Brett Kavanaugh and Arizona Cardinals owner Michael Bidwill dates back decades, to high school. So when President Trump nominated Kavanaugh for the highest court in the land, Bidwill used the team’s official website to advocate for his confirmation. Not sure how the “stick to sports” crowd feels about it, considering how they react when players express opinions, but it felt like an overreach to me.

Obviously when a decision related to NFL owners came before the court, Kavanaugh should have recused himself. But by now we’re used to justices ignoring their own ethics rules. What I find most disturbing in this instance is Kavanaugh’s dissent.

Here’s how the hiring discrimination case came to be: Former New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick texted the wrong Brian with congratulations for getting the New York Giants’ head coaching job, according to a lawsuit filed by former Dolphins head coach and former Patriots assistant coach Brian Flores, who is Black. In the 2022 suit, Flores said the Giants interviewed him for their vacant head coaching job under disingenuous circumstances. How can we tell? Because Belichick’s congratulations came three days before Flores’ interview with the Giants. The team had apparently already decided to hire Brian Daboll, who is white.

The NFL has spent the last three-plus years attempting to settle the dispute through NFL-controlled arbitration and fought to keep it out of court. The league lifted its appeal to the Supreme Court after failing to get Goodell in position to handle it via the lower courts.

In addition to the damning text exchange, Flores also has history on his side.

During one 60-season stretch, the NFL had no Black head coaches. To address the glaring discrepancy, the league established the “Rooney rule” in 2003, requiring teams to interview at least two minority candidates for head coach and other senior management vacancies.

Prior to that, most teams interviewed only white men.

The results have been mixed.

Yes, more minority candidates get interviewed now — perhaps after a white man has quietly been chosen for the job, but still … they get interviewed.

And yes, Tony Dungy and Mike Tomlin, both of whom are Black, not only got hired but also led their franchises to Super Bowl victories after the rule was put into place.

Still, two decades into the Rooney-rule era, roughly a third of the league’s owners had never hired a minority to lead their team. This includes the century-old New York Giants, who after firing Daboll at the end of the season, hired another white man to take his place. This is the backdrop of the discrimination lawsuit filed by Flores.

And still Kavanaugh felt this case could be handled internally by the organization that allowed it to happen.

Even Clarence Thomas, a judge known for ruling against anything that helps Black people, thought the NFL should have to defend itself in court.

Consider this: The year before Flores filed his suit, the NFL settled a different discrimination lawsuit for $1 billion. That case arose because for decades, to help determine the payout from a concussion settlement between retired players and the league, the NFL used “race norming” — a methodology that assumes Black players are less intelligent than white players, making it more difficult for Black men to prove brain damage than white men. In a league that is roughly 70% nonwhite, the racist practice saved the billionaire owners millions.

Or how about this: After the Supreme Court ruled that Duke Power Co. used a controversial cognitive test to prevent Black employees from getting higher-paying jobs back in the 1970s, the NFL began using it. The league kept it in place until 2022.

And still Kavanaugh felt the league should handle Flores’ case.

I’m not sure what factors the justice was considering before his dissent, but it could not have been league history.

YouTube: @LZGrandersonShow

It’s hard to believe, as Matt Damon noted in his monologue in this week’s “Saturday Night Live,” that the actor of this summer’s “The Odyssey” has only guest hosted three times during his lengthy career. (In case you’re wondering, his frequent writing and acting partner Ben Affleck has hosted five times.)

That’s a shame because Damon checks all the boxes for what an A-list actor should do when they host the show: be super present, take every opportunity to do the silliest sketches without seeming uncomfortable, and bring at least some of their acting chops to bear to give otherwise lightweight sketches a little extra gravitas or emotion.

Damon did all that and helped start the show off with an extra jolt of energy by returning as Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh in the cold open, along with last week’s ringer, Aziz Ansari as FBI Director Kash Patel.

Not every sketch worked, like an early Godzilla parody set in a command center that was simply a series of increasingly anticipated spit takes on poor Mikey Day. Things improved when Damon played himself in a pre-taped sketch about a movie made just for moms ahead of Mother’s Day; mom’s fantasy? No conflict among the kids and a blissful marriage to Matt Damon.

Damon also played one of a trio of middle-aged men (including Marcello Hernández and Kenan Thompson) constantly getting beat up by “tough guys” who are sometimes just children. He also played a frustrated dad in a strange cat litter commercial, a substitute teacher trying to get a classroom of students to dance (unsuccessfully) and, memorably, an auctioneer in a fight with his auctioneer wife (Sarah Sherman). In these sketches in particular, Damon’s acting skills helped elevate the characters he played, grounding them in sadness or frustration. It definitely helped.

The “Odyssey” might turn out to be the summer’s biggest movie hit. If that’s the case, let’s hope Matt Damon isn’t kept from hosting “SNL” for so long after this week’s solid job.

Musical guest Noah Kahan performed “The Great Divide” and “Doors.”

At Martin’s Tavern in Washington, D.C., Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth (Colin Jost) returned yet again to shout-bark at those around him, brag about the Iran War he claims he started and, of course, talk about drinking alcohol. But this time, he was joined by his apparent drinking buddy Kavanaugh, who held a gavel and immediately ordered a “six-three decision” (six beers, three shots of Jameson whiskey). Glowing in their victories, Hegseth bellowed, “Can you believe I just started a war?” Kavanaugh replied, “Can you believe I ended abortion? Your body, my choice!” Kavanaugh went on to show off what at first looked like a dinosaur-shaped district map for Tennessee before revealing it’s his field sobriety test, when he was asked to draw a circle. Kavanaugh bemoaned the male loneliness crisis just before they were joined by Patel, who cried, “Does this bar take Kaaaaash?” Patel showed off the bourbon that bears his name. (“Somehow this is a real thing that I, the FBI director, have made. This is real!”) Kavanaugh revealed a secret: that the court is going to let Trump do a third term. “Trump found the original Constitution and on the end, he wrote, ‘Psych!’ ” The three ended the sketch by singing Chumbawamba’s “Tubthumbing” with its callouts of their drink orders.

Damon previewed his upcoming film, even though he had to mention several times that “The Odyssey” won’t be out for another nine weeks. He also had to break the news that the lovely “SNL” tradition of bringing on moms of cast members wouldn’t be happening this year due to Spirit Airlines shutting down. It turns out, after an audience member (“SNL” writer Jack Bensinger) asks, that only Hernández’s mom was able to make it. Damon then recorded a video message to moms out there for anyone who didn’t get a gift for them. “You deserve a night out… nine weekends from now,” he said, suggesting the movie would make a great date night.

Best sketch of the night: Do I hear best sketch of the night? Sold!

A sketch as gimmicky as this one — in which the premise is two auctioneers (Damon and Sherman) are having a marriage-ending fight — only works if the performers are up to the task, and luckily both Damon and Sherman navigated the super-fast dialogue expertly and without looking like they were eyeing cue cards the entire time. The two went back and forth, auctioneering a discussion about weight, infidelity, drinking, their sex life and, eventually, terms of their divorce in front of their four young sons (who, adorably, hold up little numbered signs. Yes, they were played by adult cast members.). Even for “SNL” and for the last-sketch-of-the-night slot, it was a bold sketch for live TV and Damon and Sherman expertly walked the tightrope on this one.

Also good: Your mom will only make it through 23 minutes of this

“SNL” is no stranger to spiky sketch comedy takes on motherhood: remember “Mom Jeans?” For this year’s Mother’s Day take, it presented “Mom: The Movie,” a film devoid of conflict or dramatic tension because “Moms have enough stress. Why not let them feel good for a day?” Ashley Padilla plays the mom in the film, enjoying argument-free time with her kids (Jeremy Culhane, Tommy Brennan and Veronika Slowikowska), who only deliver good news. She’s married to Matt Damon, making her Rhonda Damon, and they met when he noticed her giant turquoise necklace after a movie screening. The film is streaming where moms are expected to find it: on HomeGoods Plus.

‘Weekend Update’ winner: This ‘Update’ segment is bananas — the round kind

This week’s “Update” featured three guest segments. Hernández and Day played kamikaze dolphins who work for the government, giving them a sense of porpoise (their joke, not mine). Jane Wickline expressed her anger at people caring that she’s always late in a funny musical rant. But Culhane’s return as Tucker Carlson continued a dead-on impersonation that covered several topics, including the Met Gala’s wild outfits, the new Michael Jackson biopic, and why eating round bananas is less gay than eating traditionally shaped ones. Culhane’s impression is a thing of beauty, and this time it leaned harder into Carlson’s tendency to express things from a very white point of view. In describing ASAP Rocky’s pink robe from the Met Gala, he said the performer was, “Wearing my least favorite color … African-American.”