Your patron saints for the 2026 election
War in the Middle East. The hottest summer on record in the U.S. AI getting as scary as “Terminator 2: Judgment Day.” An eroding coastline. A president who spends more time posting pathetic memes than improving the lives of everyday Americans.
It sure seems like we’re living in the End Times, right?
Why, we haven’t even reached the most frightening part of 2026: Election Day, when false prophets will besmirch ballots as the Great Deceiver, also known as Donald J. Trump, does everything possible to maintain his reign.
While people should research candidates and ballot initiatives before deciding how to vote, I also suggest that they read up on some of the thousands of saints recognized by the Catholic Church. You don’t have to belong to the faith to find wisdom in the lives of people who dealt with trials and tribulations far harder than ours and are now considered worthy of emulation.
This campaign season contains all sorts of scenarios screaming for holy intervention. We should pray extra hard to these saints for the next two months:
St. Homobonus: The Catholic Church recognizes no patron saint for the wealthy, since Jesus preached that it was easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter heaven. Captains of industry instead venerate this 12th century Italian nepo baby, who ran a successful clothing business yet gave most of his earnings to the poor. If tech bros followed St. Homobonus’ example, that would be a far more convincing argument against Prop. 40, the California ballot initiative that would impose a (supposed) onetime tax on billionaires, than what they’re doing: whining about socialism, threatening to leave California and spending tens of millions of dollars on ads that voters are already tuning out or tossing in the trash.
Archangel Gabriel: His role in telling the Virgin Mary she would become the mother of Jesus makes my brother’s namesake the patron saint of mail carriers. With Trump doing everything possible to ban mail-in voting — and a compliant Postal Service leadership eager to do his bidding — here’s to hoping Archangel Gabriel calls up his winged homeboys Michael and Raphael, fights off all electoral Satans and ensures a fair election.
St. Benedict: Patron saint of exorcisms. Someone place his prayer card at all the city halls in southeast L.A. County to rid the area of civic corruption once and for all!
St. Peter Claver: Chapters of the Knights of Peter Claver — the oldest Black Catholic fraternal organization in the U.S. — exist in parishes across South L.A. Some in the area are fretting because, for the first time in 63 years, not all of its three City Council seats will be held by Black representatives. With Curren Price terming out, a Latino immigrant — either Jose Ugarte or Estuardo Mazariegos — will capture the District 9 seat. May the winner follow the example of Claver, who spent his life advocating for Black people in Colombia despite the fact he was a white Spaniard, and ensure that Black Angelenos — now only 8% of the city’s population — continue to have strong representation at City Hall.
St. Augustine: The founder of the Augustinian order to which Pope Leo belongs, he’s the patron saint of converts and preached against the haughty. “They uplift themselves,” Augustine wrote, “as though they were righteous or important but, as Paul writes, ‘Like smoke they will not last because their insanity will soon become obvious to everyone.’” Are your ears burning yet, JD Vance? Do you feel a tingle on your neck, Gavin Newsom?
Xavier Becerra, left, and Steve Hilton during a California gubernatorial candidate debate Feb. 3 in San Francisco.
(Laure Andrillon / Associated Press)
St. Stephen and St. Francis Xavier: They share names and attributes with Steve Hilton and Xavier Becerra, who are running against each other to become California’s next governor. Becerra has spent his decades-long political career serving as missionary for California liberalism, just like Francis Xavier helped make the Jesuits a worldwide institution. Of the two St. Stephens, one was a former king who’s the patron saint of Hungary, birthplace of Hilton’s parents. Far more relevant is the St. Stephen who was the first Christian martyr. The way Hilton is sacrificing his political life in the name of Trump, he’d better ask that Stephen to tell God not to make his likely electoral demise too painful.
Our Lady of Refuge: Although St. Junípero Serra was the Apostle of California, this Marian apparition has been the patroness of the Golden State since the days when we were part of Mexico. Sinners ask her to beg God for forgiveness on their behalf — and isn’t that what we all will do when our chosen candidate inevitably messes up?
St. Thomas: He’s the patron saint of India, where Los Angeles city councilmember and mayoral candidate Nithya Raman was born. He’s also the patron saint of architects, too many of whom have sat around with their hands tied up in red tape while waiting to rebuild Pacific Palisades after last year’s inferno, a stasis that many residents will forever blame on Mayor Karen Bass. But history better remember the Apostle as Doubting Thomas, who refused to believe that Jesus had risen from the dead until feeling the holes in His crucified hands. Let’s hope Angelenos are as skeptical about the claims of both Bass and Raman that they, and only they, can revive L.A.
St. Clare of Assisi: She died in the 13th century, but the Italian nun was named the patron saint of television in 1958 because she could see a Mass held far away, despite being bedridden. May St. Clare convince God to short-circuit networks and streaming services every time another annoying political ad interrupts me while I’m watching the latest episode of “Project Runway.”
St. Thomas More: The patron saint of politicians famously stood up to England’s King Henry VIII and his philandering, unethical ways. May St. Thomas More’s witness inspire someone in Trump’s cabinet to do the same.
Eh, who am I kidding? Some things are beyond even God.
