Dating app

ANOTHER wife of the Manchester synagogue terrorist said the attacker “raped” her and lied about being married with a child.

The woman, whose identity is being protected, told how Jihad Al-Shamie abused her mentally and sexually after they first met on Muslim dating app Muzz.

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She had converted to Islam in 2012, ten years before meeting Al-Shamie.

The woman became trapped in a volatile cycle in which he would flip between being “vile” and then “nice” to draw her back in to their on-and-off relationship.

Eventually, Al-Shamie told the woman he was married and had a son, but confessed to keeping them secret.

In text messages seen by the M.E.N, he wrote: “I didn’t tell u because I really like you and wanted u to be my 2nd wife.”

But Al-Shamie told her men can have four wives in Islamic culture and that his first wife “accepts” it.

Within a month of entering into a relationship with him, the pair married in January 2022.

The woman said their Islamic ceremony took place over a video call because of Covid restrictions.

But the marriage was soon filled with coercive and controlling behaviour.

She claimed Al-Shamie raped her, but she did not report it to police.

The attacker’s abuse is laid out in Facebook messages between the couple.

He tells her: “Good luck getting any guy to deal with your rubbish.”

And: “You’re not worth it and I can do better – don’t need someone with your baggage and mental issues.”

To try and win her back, Al-Shamie would promise grand gestures, such as buying a property close to where she lived, although these never came into fruition.

The woman told M.E.N she thought she loved him at the beginning of their partnership.

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“He was caring and understanding and didn’t judge my kids for their needs,” she said.

“He would say ‘I love you, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that’. He was controlling and abusive.

“He did rape me multiple times, but to us we just fulfil what our husband’s say.

“He was one of them where you have got to do it there and then.”

She categorized their relationship as “his way or no way” and described him as constantly being “pushy” – telling her wives had to “obey” their husbands.

The Sun previously reported how Al-Shamie was a teenage drop-out who smoked weed and was obsessed with violent video games.

A former friend told The Sun on Sunday that killer Al-Shamie would smoke around 2g of strong skunk a day when he was a teen and frequently felt the wrath of his parents.

His obsession led him to dropping out of Liverpool John Moores University a year into his English, media and cultural studies degree course in 2011.

Meanwhile neighbours said he would spend his time lifting weights in his garage or wander around in his pyjamas and flip flops.

The woman also reflected this portrayal in her tales of Al-Shamie, who she claimed was always “between jobs” and “living with his parents”.

After their relationship ended, the last time Al-Shamie contacted her was April earlier this year, but she ignored him.

The woman also recalled her horror when she discovered he had committed the Manchester synagogue terror attack.

“My first thought was just ‘why’. He would never preach anything. The only thing he would do was pray,” she said.

“He never showed me, or said anything about, terrorism, or joining anything. It was all about the mosque and praying.”

This comes as another wife of Al-Shamie also came forward with her story after meeting him on the same Muslim dating app.

Born in Syria, Al-Shamie was granted British citizenship in 2006 when he was around 16, having entered the UK as a young child.

The 35-year-old was on police bail accused of rape when he carried out the car and knife terror attack in Manchester on October 2.

He claimed to be a devout father but cheated on his wife and married a second woman days after meeting her, The Telegraph reported.

The newspaper said that he met a young woman from Manchester after the Covid lockdown.

It’s believed that he moved in with the woman and her family in May 2022 and they married in an Islamic ceremony.

But he was unfaithful and used a dating app to meet several other women.

Al-Shamie’s first marriage reportedly fell apart six months ago after he married a second woman – but it is not known if this was legal.

Elizabeth Davis, 46, is said to have married the killer in secret and only told her family about him only after the synagogue attack.

A source told The Sun on Sunday: “Liz converted to Islam four years ago.

“Her conversion caused tensions with her family, they say she became a totally different person after that.

“She stopped communicating with relatives and friends.

“It was like she had been brainwashed.

“The family only found out that she had got married to Al-Shamie after the synagogue attack on Thursday.

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“The family are horrified that she has been involved with someone like that.

“It’s possible she got married to him in an Islamic law ceremony.”

Another woman said she was just 18 when she dated Al-Shamie, who she said lied to her about his age.

He told her he was in his mid-twenties and reportedly encouraged her to watch “extreme videos”.

During their four-month relationship, she said he hit her and ordered her to dress more conservatively.

She even said he referenced possibly wanting to join the Islamic State.

She said he stalked her and told her about his rape fantasises.

The Times reported that Al-Shamie used fake name on his dating app accounts but kept getting banned because of his “speech and what he was sending”.

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SHOCKINGLY seven in ten singletons say they’ve given up on dating. Why? Because half of them say they’re put off by constantly meeting liars.

But are the signs there from the very first date? The Sun takes a look at the red flags that could mean your new love interest is out to break your heart.

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As many as 74 per cent singletons have either given up or have chosen to take ‘a lengthy break’ from finding love, according to a poll by dating site Seeking.

And an incredible 51 per cent said they have been fibbed to about their date’s age, while a third have turned up to find the person was shorter or taller than they were told.

Relationship therapist Rhian Kivits told The Sun: “Sadly, lots of people do lie, especially on dating profiles or when they are messaging before a date. Often they do this through insecurity.

“They want to get a date, but they have no confidence, so they post fake photos or tell lies about their age or height.

“This doesn’t necessarily mean they are abusive or dangerous, but if you spot this, it’s fair to ask, ‘Is this right for me?’

“Most of us probably don’t want to date someone who is presenting themselves as someone they are not.”

But that’s not the only white lie your date could dupe you with – there are seven red flags, according to Rhian, which might indicate a potential partner is telling porkies.

1. ‘Too good to be true’ dating profiles

If someone’s profile looks highly managed with model-like photos, and it all feels just a bit too good to be true, then it probably is.

People have been known to use AI photos or internet pictures that aren’t even them. Trust your intuition and if something in your gut gives you the impression it isn’t right, then it might be fake.

Look for photos of them doing a genuine hobby, such as playing golf.

But they should be on a course really playing, not just posing up nearby.

I like it when other people are in their photos, at a family barbecue, for example. This shows someone is a genuine person.

2. Question dodging

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Sometimes you might get chatting to someone and find they are dodging your questions.

You ask where they work, and they just say ‘all over the place’ or ‘I travel a lot’. That’s a red flag.

You might ask where and they say ‘the south west’, but that’s a big place.

Whilst I’d never expect someone to be specific, it’s reasonable to have some idea of what someone does and which town they live in before you meet up.

The same goes for relationship status. If they are being cagey or say ‘it’s complicated’, that’s not a promising sign.

3. Refuses a video call

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You can rule out a lot of fibs by meeting on a video call before a real date.

If they weren’t the age they told you, or the height, you’d know instantly.

If they say no to the call, what is it they don’t want you to see? Maybe they are sitting on the couch with their partner.

Liars can be very clever, so whilst you can never 100 per cent protect yourself, a video call beforehand is a great way of weeding out fibbers.

4. You share the same loves and hobbies

What some liars will do is ask an awful lot of questions about you.

Then they’ll say, ‘Oh, I love that too. ‘ It might be what you like to eat, where you like to hang out, whether you like swimming or going to the cinema.

What they are doing is painting themselves as your ideal partner and setting up a web of lies so you almost fall in love before you meet them.

This is a very negative trait, often used by narcissists, and they are very likely disingenuous.

If whatever you love, they love, it’s not always a good sign.

5. Overly rehearsed anecdotes

If they are telling stories or anecdotes that feel a little too polished rather than spontaneously shared, maybe they are not telling the whole truth.

When every detail is just so, you should be wondering what they have left out.

Look out for inconsistencies in their tales.

Perhaps in one version of the story, they were with a friend, then their brother.

Maybe it was last week the first time they told you, then last year.

And if they always paint themselves as the hero of the story, the one always in the right, perhaps they are not being 100 per cent honest.

6. Little or no digital footprint

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Most of us have a very big digital footprint these days. If there is nothing about them online, ask about it.

If they deleted a profile, why? If they have profiles under different names, why?

We can all look someone up before going on a date, and it’s healthy to do so. You might see they used to have a different job and switched careers, or their hair colour is different.

Just say ‘I did a sneaky Google of you’. If they are a genuine person, they won’t mind.

They’ll laugh and say, ‘Yes, I used to have red hair’. If they are cagey, something is up.

7. Suspicious smartphone activity

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Perhaps they are unusually protective of their phone when you meet up.

They might turn it face down or step away to reply.

They might not want you to see notifications pop up if it’s from a partner or someone else they are dating.

If you are on a date, they shouldn’t be on their phone too much anyway.

If they are, they might be texting their partner to say they are going to be late home from work.

Of course, this is not always the case but if they are on their phone a lot – ask why – and see how they react.

Why do people catfish others on dating apps?

Speaking to Techopedia, professional dating coach Jacob Lucas reveals how to see if someone is a catfish on dating apps.

A lot of people are insecure about themselves. They may not be very confident about dating or making friends, or about the way they look, so they create this fake persona. When they get attention and receive compliments, they then feel validated.

Very often, catfishes are in that person’s life already, so they already know them. Sometimes, it can be started off as a joke and then it spirals out of control. People can become addicted to it and it becomes a habit.

The third reason is that as weird as it sounds, they think they’re doing the right thing. If it’s a friend who has a lot of bad luck in their love life, they want to give them confidence. But they often get stuck in the habit and can’t stop doing it.

And finally, its could be that the person is trying to extort money from the other person. They may ask for a small amount of money to pay for their electricity bill for example to start off with, but if they do, it can spiral into a large amount of money. They use romance to get people to send them money.