Alton

ARE you dreaming of a white Christmas? Well, maybe you should be dreaming of a wet Christmas . . . and by wet, I mean a thrilling flume like no other in the UK.

OK, a waterpark doesn’t sound that festive – but for my family a visit to Splash Landings was the surprise standout of our Santa Sleepover at Alton Towers.

Yes, the Staffordshire theme park has everything for a cool yule, but nothing topped a ride on Master Blaster – at 682ft, Britain’s longest water coaster.

My gang – sons Wilf, eight, Jasper, six, and dad Simon – agreed this was the best waterslide we’d been on.

And there’s so much to pack in, from lazy rivers and play areas to the steaming Bubbly Wubbly outdoor pool.

But of course we were there for some Santa magic, and we got a sackful.

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We’d arrived promptly on the first day as we knew a Santa Sleepover comes with a busy schedule and the festive wow factor kicked in immediately, with dozens of twinkling Christmas trees on the entrance plaza.

All of CBeebies Land is open and the boys loved the Octonauts Rollercoaster Adventure and In The Night Garden Magical Boat Ride.

A theme park in December is not going to be warm and you’ll be outdoors a lot, so dress appropriately.

But not all attractions are open-air, including Andy’s Adventures Dinosaur Dig immersive dinosaur show and Justin’s Pie-O-Matic Factory play area.
You’ll also find ample places to stop for lunch, and the coffee corner offers warming drinks.

Soon, it was our turn to queue for Father Christmas in his charming North Pole wooden grotto. Every family will get their own special time with a friendly Santa who chatted to our shy children then gave us a little present each.

Next up was pirate-themed Mutiny Bay, where the boys and their dad enjoyed wildly spinning barrels on Marauder’s Mayhem and Heave Ho! – a rocking and twisting ship.

And don’t miss Alton Towers’ own SeaLife Centre, Sharkbait Reef. It was a resounding success, with an immersive starfish exhibition and a glass tunnel where huge sharks swim around you.

Then it was time to head to the hotel, which ticked all the Christmas boxes with beautiful decor.

Our awesome Arctic Explorer room added to the atmosphere with its polar mission theme and came with a single bed each for the boys and a double for mum and dad

Via the Dragon Bar, where singers performed Christmas tunes, we headed for dinner in the Secret Garden carvery, with the yule log a big family hit.

The action never stops and next up was The Tale of Cinderella and Prince Charming panto, which left the boys transfixed.

After posting a letter to Santa it was time to snuggle up in our room, waking up to a letter each for Wilf and Jasper from Father Christmas. Pure family joy.

Before heading home after our Splash Landings blast, we grabbed a delicious lunch at the Talbot Inn just outside the park and all agreed we’d had a flume-ing fabulous festive break.

• THE overnight Alton Towers Santa Sleepover costs from £91pp and is on until December 23. For more information or to book, see altontowers.com.

The Santa Sleepover package at Alton Towers is jam packed with festive fun. The panto jokes were just one of many highlights

“In 2005, I was crowned most beautiful princess,” boasted one of the ugly sisters before trying on Cinderella’s lost slipper.

“Oh yeah,” said Buttons. “Where did you get that title – Crufts?!”

Cue uncontrollable laughter from my eight year old son, who was left literally creasing in his seat. It was one of two jokes in the Cinderella pantomime at Alton Towers that set him off belly laughing. The other was similarly offensive – in a good way, of course.

“You two look like movie stars,” Buttons told the ugly sisters. “Oh thanks very much,” said one of the nasty pair. “Which movie?” To which Buttons replied: “Shrek!”

The panto, which was just as big a hit with my six year old daughter, was part of the resort’s brilliant and incredibly Christmassy Santa Sleepover package.

On day one, you get one-day entry to the Alton Towers theme park, with a selection of family attractions, including the UK’s only CBeebies Land.

You also get a visit to Santa’s Grotto, panto tickets, a festive dinner and entertainment, and overnight stay in one of the resort’s themed hotels.

Day two kicks off with a buffet breakfast, before a stint in the waterpark and nine holes of crazy golf.

And with prices from £91 per person, it really does give you bang for your buck.

To put things into perspective, a visit to Santa’s Grotto elsewhere is likely to cost between £15 and £20 per child and panto tickets will set you back at least £25 each in most cases. The Santa Sleepover package is undeniably fantastic value.

For us – myself, my wife and two kids – the first day was a washout, but not even the relentless rain could dampen our festive spirit. The live show, The Sprout Who Saved Christmas, was just the thing to get us in the mood. Singing, dancing, suitably cheesy jokes and a smattering of fake snow in the finale – the whole thing was done to a high standard.

In CBeebies Land, I had lots of fun shooting and being shot by the children using the gun-like contraptions in the chaotic Justin’s House, the Pie-O-Matic Factory. The Octonauts rollercoaster, Peter Rabbit, Go Jetters and Treetop Adventure rides, as well as the JoJo & Gran At Home attraction were also among our favourites.

And when things got a bit too wet, even for the hardiest among us, we headed over to the pirate-themed Mutiny Bay, where we took shelter in the amusement arcade and ultimately struggled to pull ourselves away from the 2p machines.

Next it was time to check in to the Alton Towers hotel, which as far as the kids were concerned was an attraction in itself. From the fictional Sir Algenon Alton’s incredible flying machine in the lobby to the arctic explorer themed rooms, it’s an unrelenting attack on the senses that keeps the children entertained and mesmerised at every turn.

Between checking in and dinner, there was just enough time for the children to write their letters to Santa and post them in the special postbox in reception. In one of a few nice magical touches, personalised letters back from Santa are surreptitiously pushed under your room’s door the next morning.

Dinner, unsurprisingly, is a festive meal with all the trimmings – and tables complete with crackers.

I’ve been to a lot of pantos over the years and I can honestly say this one, Cinderella, was right up there with the best. Just the right level of camp, crude and cheeky, it was the perfect end to a fun-filled day.

Now, two-and-a-half hours in an indoor waterpark might not scream Christmas, but honestly, who cares? Our visit just after breakfast to the attraction inside the Splash Landings hotel, was a definite highlight. If you’re struggling to wake up, the Master Blaster and Rush ‘N’ Rampage slides will certainly do the trick. But if you need a rest, the Lazy River is a better option.

You’ll need to save a little bit of energy, just enough to get you through nine holes of Extraordinary Golf.

And if you’re not in the Christmas spirit after all that, there really is no hope for you.

• The Santa Sleepover package is available on selected dates between November 28 and December 24. To find out more and book your break, go to the Alton Towers website.