A REFORMED character has admitted he cannot bring to mind the last occasion when he exposed his bare buttocks to the world as a statement.
Martin, not hos real name,, aged 38, is now so far removed from his mooning youth that he is a Lib Dem councillor but misses the clear, forthright communication that was dropping his trousers and pressing his bottom through the rear window of a moving car.
Bishop said: “It was an accepted gesture of non-compliance when I was young, much more effective than the middle finger or V-sign. I’d call it performance art.
“I did it at school, Mr Bishop never catching me because he couldn’t positively identify it was my arse. I did it in Magaluf against a bar window, and then successfully chatted up the woman I’d mooned at. I did it off a motorway bridge.
“I even did it after being dumped by a girl once, at the end of her garden path with her parents watching. I like to think they still talk about me from time to time.
“God, when was the last time? Maybe Warren’s stag do, when I pressed these now-hirsute buttocks against a minibus window and mooned a whole nightclub queue to the applause of the men? Years ago.
“Do men still moon? Or have smartphones killed this cheeky form of self-expression, like everything else good in this world? I hope so. I hope so for their sakes.”