The former England and British and Irish Lions rugby star, who is taking part in The Celebrity Traitors, has spoken openly about his mental health struggles in recent years
Marler has opened up on his “lowest point” while discussing his mental health struggles(Image: David Rogers, Getty Images)
Few players in world rugby have relished the physicality of the sport quite like Joe Marler, with the former England prop using his formidable size and strength to his advantage throughout his career.
On the outside, he was in fine shape and appeared to be thriving, earning 95 caps for England, finishing on the podium at two Rugby World Cups and touring with the British and Irish Lions, as well as making nearly 300 appearances for his club side Harlequins.
Known as one of rugby’s most colourful characters, with a renowned sense of humour and mastery of ‘s***housery’, all seemed well in Marler’s world. However, beneath the surface, he was struggling with his mental health.
Marler is an ambassador for CALM and fronted the Sky Sports documentary Big Boys Don’t Cry, while he has also spoken about his own mental health journey in interviews and podcast appearances, as well as in his memoir Loose Head, in which he discusses his struggles and the lessons he learnt during his rugby career, which came to an end in November last year.
In discussing his mental health, Marler has previously opened up about his “lowest point”, in which a minor row with his wife Daisy – who was seven months pregnant at the time – caused him to suddenly lose control as he “completely lost the plot”.
The England international admitted that he began destroying his kitchen and “turned the house over” in a violent outburst before storming off in his car, “not wanting to be here anymore”, leaving Daisy in tears.
Detailing the distressing 2018 incident in an interview with The Guardian, Marler revealed how he and Daisy had clashed after she became upset that he hadn’t swerved to avoid a squirrel on the road while driving back from the school drop-off.
Though it was a minor disagreement, the former prop admitted he suddenly “snapped,” explaining: “We got home and I just spiralled and lost control.
“I turned over the kitchen, punched in one of the doors. Then I got in the truck and drove off. I had no idea where I was going or what I was doing. But it was a massive turning point because it was the most ashamed I’ve ever been. I didn’t recognise who I was anymore.
“After 30 minutes I came back because I was running out on everything good in my life,” Marler continued. “Daisy was crying and I was worried she was scared, but we’ve spoken about it often since then. She says, ‘I was never scared of you. I was just upset and wondering who you were and what you were doing.’
“She had no idea even during those times when she’d said, ‘Any danger of you actually being here, when you’re here?’ I wasn’t engaging because I was stuck in this fog. I didn’t feel like I could tell her or anyone because I was in complete denial there was anything wrong with me. We didn’t speak that night.”
Following the frightening episode, Marler recognised he needed to get support for his mental health and received help from the Harlequins team doctor, who spotted the damage to the prop’s hand the following day, causing him to break down in floods of tears.
Recalling seeing his wife crying in the wake of the argument, he said: “That was the moment I was just like I need help. So I went and got help. I went and saw a psychologist called Humphrey and I was not comfortable doing it, even with someone called Humphrey, and I got there and what an incredibly lovely bloke he was.”
After going to therapy and taking antidepressants, Marler is now looking after his mental health and has developed techniques to recognise warning signs. Using his experiences and platform as one of rugby’s biggest personalities, he has also worked tirelessly to break down the stigma around mental health in sport, encouraging men to have open and honest conversations and seek professional help.
In an interview with Men’s Health, the 35-year-old opened up about how he looks after his mental health now, explaining: “There are techniques I use when I feel my red mist; sometimes they work, and other times they don’t. The biggest thing was learning to recognise when I was going to start feeling that way: knowing what triggers it and finding ways to deal with it early. And to know that there’ll always be these moments.
“My mental health is the same as my physical health. In both, you can put on weight or lose weight; you can put on muscle the same way as you can control how you want to attack the day. You can’t control what might be thrown at you. But you can control how you react to it.”
He added: “We know we have to be mentally strong and physically fit, and yet we’re still rubbing up against the fact that people don’t want to talk about their mind, even though we need to be mentally sharp to compete at the top level. There’s a disconnect.
“Work and sport and the other parts of your life are not separate: your psychology is your psychology. It’s all one thing. How can I possibly focus on using those specific psychological skills for sport if I’m suffering from depression and anxiety away from rugby?’.”
SHE described her stint on Dragons’ Den as the “biggest and the most public rejection” ever – but Zara Saleem has had the last laugh.
The 37-year-old mum-of-two, who quit her underpaid £27k-a-year job, now has a business worth £5 million – and she started it all with just £500 at her kitchen table.
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A savvy businesswoman has revealed all on how she went from a teacher earning £27,000 a year to owning a business worth £5 millionCredit: Delhicious
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Zara Saleem runs Delhicious alongside her husband and co-founder Zak Ismail, 36Credit: Delhicious
But things haven’t all been smooth sailing for Zara, who has two daughters, aged eight and seven and her thriving beauty brand, Delhicious.
Not only did she deal with a huge plummet in sales during the coronavirus lockdown, but she’s also been faced with numerous rejections by top high-street retailers too.
However, now sales are flying for the award-winning skincare brand, which is approved by dermatologists and clinically tested.
Opening up on her business journey, Zara exclusively tells us: “I had no money when I started – we had no more than £500.
“We started with just buying a small batch of ingredients and a tiny bit of packaging. Everything else that we could do for free, we did for free, including making the website.
“The first year of revenue was very low. It was around £50,000 in year one. But now, we’ve made over £5 million since we launched.
“We’ve sold over 100,000 bottles of hair oil – we sold 10,000 bottles in three days.
“We are currently on track to make between £2 and £3 million this year and are hoping to scale the business to £8 million in the next two to three years.”
Making products in the kitchen
It was when Zara found herself having to mark up to 150 school books a day that she realised being an “underpaid” teacher was no longer for her.
And it was when Zara, who is married to her co-founder Zak Ismail, 36, came face to face with skin challenges in 2018 that the mother began making products in her kitchen.
I’ve made over £56k with a side hustle anyone can do – skint people must stop being scared and should try something new
Zak helped out too and whilst on maternity leave, things really took off, as the beauty guru, who lives in Wembley, London, explains: “I had really dry skin and really ugly, scaly patches that were really painful.
“I didn’t really want to use steroid creams and that’s when I started to experiment with ingredients that I knew had anti-inflammatory properties.
“I used to use black tea as a face toner, so I would brew the tea and add some oils, and I knew that it was a good anti-inflammatory.
“I formulated the body scrub in my kitchen and it had incredible results. Within a couple of days, my skin had almost completely cleared.”
We were really scared in the beginning but we took the risk. We were quite delusional
Zara Saleem
At the time, while Zara was employed as a teacher, her husband Zak was working in a corporate job.
However, their lifestyle was far from lavish, as she adds: “I wasn’t living a luxurious life at all.
“The money wasn’t great – teachers are incredibly underpaid for the amount of work that they do.”
The GlossyBox deal that changed everything
Unsure of the brand’s future, Zara shares: “It was never really meant to be a proper beauty brand – I didn’t really have it in my head how far I could take it.
“It was literally just me and my husband with the scrappy website that we made, hoping that we would get some sales.
“I had 20 bags of body scrub at the time and we had no sales coming in.
“I was like, ‘if I sell a couple of body scrubs, I’m great,’ but I was very much at home with my two children under two.”
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Zara got candid on her highs and lows, as well as her biggest public rejection yetCredit: Delhicious
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A collaboration with Glossybox really helped the brand to growCredit: Delhicious
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Hair products have also proved profitable and the brand has sold over 100,000 bottles of hair oilCredit: Delhicious
But it was a huge deal with GlossyBox that really made the business take off, as Zara recognises: “Once we’d launched and started to get a couple of sales, I was adamant that I wanted to try and get some press, so I started to reach out to a couple of journalists.
“I went on the radio and then after that, we got approached by GlossyBox, who at the time were the biggest beauty box around, and beauty boxes around that time were really taking off. They wanted to place an order of 100,000 units.
“We were still making products in our kitchen. We had no manufacturer, we had no idea how we would actually be able to fulfil the order, but we took it on and turned our house into a factory.
“Our neighbours very kindly took our furniture in, we had our family and friends coming and filling body scrubs for us and we had a crazy four months where we hand-packed and made 100,000 body scrubs.
“I think it was at that point that we kind of thought, ‘this could actually be something.’”
Going viral on TikTok
After the success with GlossyBox, Zara and Zak turned to body balms – now one of their bestselling, award-winning products.
Zara explains: “We made our body balms which went super viral on TikTok because they had incredible results for people with eczema and psoriasis.
“Our fridge was full of balms and we couldn’t make enough because the minute we would put them online they were gone.
“We created waitlists. I think we had a waitlist of around 50,000 people at one point. It was actually insane.
“We started hitting five-figure sales a month. We were growing, growing, growing and sales were pouring in.”
How to start your own business
Dragon’s Den star Theo Paphitis revealed his tips for budding entrepreneurs:
One of the biggest barriers aspiring entrepreneurs and business owners face is a lack of confidence. You must believe in your idea — even more than that, be the one boring your friends to death about it.
Never be afraid to make decisions. Once you have an idea, it’s the confidence to make decisions that is crucial to starting and maintaining a business.
If you don’t take calculated risks, you’re standing still. If a decision turns out to be wrong, identify it quickly and deal with it if you can. Failing that, find someone else who can.
It’s OK not to get it right the first time. My experience of making bad decisions is what helped develop my confidence, making me who I am today.
Never underestimate the power of social media, and remember the internet has levelled the playing field for small businesses.
Don’t forget to dream. A machine can’t do that!
Whilst running the business, Zara returned to her teaching job, but shortly after, realised it was time to quit for good and focus on her business full-time. Soon after, Zak followed suit.
The couple were initially fearful to take the risk and Zara describes her actions as “delusional.” But in just three months, she had matched her monthly teacher wage.
The businesswoman shares: “We had no business background whatsoever. We were really scared in the beginning but we took the risk.
“We were quite delusional. I don’t think we thought things through enough to be honest.
“We were really lucky. We had a really supportive circle of family and friends who helped us get through.
“Who knows, if anyone did doubt us, but it wasn’t to our face.”
Rejection after rejection
But things haven’t always been easy for this couple, as Zara shares: “When we first launched, we aimed to get into Boots and buyers rejected us straight away.
“They were like, ‘no you’re not ready’, and I agree with that now.
“We’ve had multiple rejections – every single retailer you can think of rejected us.”
After sales plummeted in lockdown, just four years after launching the business, Zara decided to go on Dragons’ Den, where she asked for £50,000 for 15% of the business.
But Zara left the infamous den without an investment, as she shares: “I felt like the Dragons didn’t quite get the brand.
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But going on Dragons’ Den was a low point for ZaraCredit: Instagram
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Zara pitched her skincare business to the entrepreneursCredit: BBC
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But she left without an investmentCredit: BBC Studios
“But also, what had happened was, we had a spike in our sales with the GlossyBox order, and then after that, it was lockdown, which meant that I had both of my very small children at home, so I had to step back because I didn’t have any childcare available.
“I had to make that conscious decision to not invest as much time as I could in the business and obviously to the Dragons that didn’t sound good.
“I think they just didn’t really get it and they thought we were a TikTok brand. It felt like a little bit more of an excuse as to why they may not have wanted to invest.”
Reflecting on her time on the BBC show, the mother admits: “Dragons’ Den was probably the biggest and the most public rejection I’ve had, which was really difficult.
“Even before it aired, I was really nervous because I felt like I’d let myself down, I felt like I’d let the brand down because I didn’t get the investment.
“It was a really tough experience and at the time, I felt like I doubted everything about the brand.
I thought it would be good if I could have secured the investment, not for the money but more for the guidance, because obviously I didn’t have a mentor and we didn’t really know what we were doing
Zara Saleem
“They didn’t think it would scale and they didn’t think it was investable because of that one dip.
“And actually, rejection is always redirection and it’s something you need to overcome if you truly believe in whatever it is that you’re building.
“And I do fully believe in the brand, I believe in the ethos and the values of it, so I guess that keeps me going.
“I wasn’t relying on Dragons’ Den for the success of the business. I thought it would be good if I could have secured the investment, not for the money but more for the guidance, because obviously I didn’t have a mentor and we didn’t really know what we were doing.”
Expansion and £120,000 salaries
But despite walking away empty handed, it didn’t take long for things to pick up again for Delhicious.
As well as being online for Debenhams, Zara says: “Retail was a big move for us – we always wanted to be on the high street. We are in store in Beauty Base and exclusively in store with Superdrug.”
Things have since expanded from Zara and Zak’s kitchen and now, Delhicious is a team of five.
Zara adds: “We’ve got all UK manufacturers now – that process took us quite a long time.
Zara’s advice for those starting out in business
FOR those looking to start their own company, Zara shares her top tips.
She advises: “Even if it’s not perfect, just start. The way our brand looks now is very different to what it looked like five years ago. You can always change as you grow.
“I think a lot of women are held back by the idea that it needs to be perfect. Your business idea does not need to be perfect, you just need to make a start and believe that you can do it.
“You don’t need experience or lots of money. You do need to have resilience and determination, because you will get rejected a lot.
“It’s hard, business is hard, but don’t let the rejections put you off and just keep going. And be prepared for a lot of rejections.”
“Obviously when you’re making products at home, it’s a very different process – you’re making a couple of hundred to now making thousands at a time.”
“We used to pack every single order that used to come in. Now we have a fulfilment centre and it’s a very, streamlined process compared to how it was before, which was very hands-on by me and Zak literally seeing every order coming in, making the products, printing labels, and packing them ourselves.
“We’ve outsourced all of that so we can actually focus on the growth of the business.”
Being able to focus on the business growth has proved profitable for Zara and now, both she and Zak are on £120,000 salaries.
Life-changing success
Reflecting on the company’s success, she acknowledges: “We’ve had six-figure months – we’ve done at least £200,000 in one month.
“It’s been so life-changing in so many ways. Financially, to have that ease of mind, it’s incredible.
“I’m not a big spender but if we want to go on a nice holiday, we can go on a nice holiday.
“We’ve recently done a big house renovation, which was amazing – it’s something we’ve always wanted to do.
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Zara now gets a salary of £120,000Credit: Delhicious
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She is no longer making products and instead, focuses on growing the brandCredit: Delhicious
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She wants more women to get into businessCredit: Delhicious
“Going from a £27,000 salary to then being able to be on six-figures now – I would never have been able to get that in teaching.
“We’re very, very blessed and very lucky, but we’ve worked really hard for it.
“I’m still very modest, I’m very conscious of the way that I spend my money, and that’s something that I pass on to my children as well.”
Now that Zara is her own boss, she has much more flexibility over her life, as she beams: “I absolutely love that I can do all the school drop-offs and pick-ups. I have a lot of flexibility over my time which is so nice.
“Of course, we still do work a lot. People get the impression that when you run your own business, you’re not working as much.
“We work a lot but it’s on our own terms – that was the one thing that I couldn’t get in teaching and it used to break my heart.”
Zara is now on a mission to get more women into the industry, as she continues: “I’m a really big advocate for women going into business. I think it’s such a great way for women to be independent, but still be able to be present in their other roles. We need more women in business.”
Discussing the future of the business, Zara concludes: “Hopefully we’re going outside of the UK now as well and hoping to be able to expand distribution and go to more multiple retailers as well.
In the second season of the Netflix series, we saw three pairs tie the knot: Kieran and Megan, Kal and Sarover and Billy and Ashleigh.
However, it seems the latter two couples have since called it quits not long after the show finished filming.
It comes after fans were concerned that Billy would turn Ashleigh down at the altar, after previously expressing concerns about their different work schedules would impact the relationship.
In an exclusive interview, Cabin Crew Manager Ashleigh opened up about the breakdown of her marriage to Billy, admitting they now ‘don’t speak much’.
Ashleigh felt ‘reassured’ on their wedding day(Image: Netflix)
She revealed that their relationship had ended “within a day” of fellow ex-couple Sarover and Kal, who also tied the knot on the show but split soon after.
Speaking about their difficult break-up, Ashleigh explained: “There was a follow-up conversation two weeks later.
“But yeah, we left the experiment; he said ‘yes’ to me and I was like, ‘This is all I needed. Billy has reassured me with that yes that this is going to work.
“‘He’s getting married for the second time, this is the real deal,’” she added.
“But unfortunately it wasn’t the real deal and he walked away with no fight. It was three months where I felt I was problem solving and looking to the future and he was just walking away from me.
“And I think, when you fall in love with someone, you grow to love them even more when the cameras are away and it’s just us now,” she reflected.
Fans wondered what Billy would say on the wedding day (Image: Netflix)
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“But I felt he was more and more cold towards me and icy and my friends and family saw that side of Billy.
“And he walked away with no fight in January and we haven’t really spoken much since,” she admitted, as Sarover also confirmed that she and Kal “don’t speak either”.
Sarover had a similar perspective on her relationship with Kal, saying: “We tried to make it work, I was in love with him and he just ended it and I was blindsided.
“That was it, there was no conversation to be had, he just walked away.”
Meanwhile, Jed and Bardha have also called it quits after Bardha said ‘no’ to Jed at the altar, and Katisha and Javen have also parted ways following her decision to leave the process early.
Nonetheless, one happy marriage has come out of the experiment, as Kieran and Megan have confirmed it is still “all plain sailing” for their relationship.
Love Is Blind UK season 2 is available to stream now, exclusively on Netflix.
