vacation

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There are times when you want a vacation that challenges you. But there are other times when you crave a familiar scene, a traveler’s version of comfort food.

What is it that brings people back to the same destination again and again?

Charlotte Russell, a Manchester-based clinical psychologist and founder/editor of the Travel Psychologist blog, didn’t see value in visiting the same place twice when she was in her 20s, but as she got older, her opinion changed.

Now one of her most frequent destinations is Seville, a short, direct flight from her home airport. However, her travel cadence is strategic. “I don’t want to spoil the connection I have to the place by visiting too frequently,” she says. “For me, once every few years seems to be about ‘right.’” Once there, she savors “the beautiful buildings, the orange trees, the smells and flavors of the food,” enjoying the chance to get to know the culture more deeply than a one-time visitor might.

Then again, Russell acknowledges, maybe we can never truly visit the same place twice.

So says psychology professor Andrew Stevenson in his 2023 book “The Psychology of Travel.” In his view, “places change all the time, and so do we. Yes, we can visit the same location again, but are likely to experience it in a completely different way when visiting again, as the place becomes more meaningful, more full of memories, more vital, each new time we arrive.”

We asked Southern California readers to tell us about their most prized repeat destinations. The answers took us all over — Hawaii, Utah, Arizona, England and Hermosa Beach, for instance — for all sorts of reasons they share with us below.

TV STAR Jimmy Fallon, 50, has given fans an insight into his family life and shared a rare photo with wife Nancy Juvonen, 58, and their daughters.

The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon host posted the adorable picture on social media alongside his wife and their girls Winnie, 12, and Frances, 10.

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The family-of-four can be seen enjoying a lakeside getaway in the fun snap on their holiday wearing casual summer gear.

Comedian Fallon and his loved ones threw their arms in the air and struck some comedy poses in the playful shot.

His partner Juvonen flashed a peace sign and wrapped an arm around her daughter, wearing a pastel cross-over stripped dress.

“This is before my sister-in-law said, ‘a little less,’” Fallon joked in his caption.

Famous friends commented on the cute photo with a string of heart emojis, including Camila Cabello, Paris Hilton, while Ellen DeGeneres liked the snap.

Fans praised: “Beautiful family.”

A second added: “Awesome family post!”

A third agreed: “Such a joy to see a happy and loved Jimmy’s family.”

When Fallon is not in the studio, he can often be found at home, spending time with his wife, Nancy and Frances and Winnie.

The fun family moment comes nearly a year after Fallon opened up about fatherhood in an interview with Parents magazine.

Greg Gutfeld embarrasses Jimmy Fallon during Tonight Show appearance by revealing they ‘wrestled’ when they first met

He admitted that becoming a dad has completely reshaped his outlook on life and work.

“I used to work hard on my career for myself. Now it’s about my kids,” he explained.

“I want to show them they can be creative, enjoy the process, and do what makes them happy — not for money or praise, but for the love of it.”

The TV star is best known for his long-standing talk show on NBC’s The Tonight Show.

The stand-up comedian, television host, actor, writer, and singer was born on September 19, 1974, in Bay Ridge, New York.

He first gained recognition as a cast member on Saturday Night Live but later became a household name in 2014 after taking over The Tonight Show following Jay Leno’s departure.

Fallon’s extensive career in the entertainment industry has helped him amass a $70 million fortune, according to Celebrity Net Worth.

He has also written several books and two comedy albums.

In 1998, he joined the cast of Saturday Night Live and remained there until 2004.

Jimmy’s big break came in 2009 when he landed his own talk show, Late Night With Jimmy Fallon.

In May last year The Tonight Show aired a special two-hour program to celebrate Fallon’s 10th anniversary on the show.

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As September begins, legions of Californians have just wound up their summer travels, which often follow family traditions. Frequently there are lakes involved. Or islands. Or a national park.

We’re asking readers to tell us about a place you keep going back to, how you keep the tradition alive and what makes it special. If you are able to share up to three of your own photos, even better. We may feature you in an upcoming story.

July 6 (UPI) — Pope Leo XIV, 69, started a six-week long vacation at the papal retreat of Castel Gandolfo Sunday, getting out of the Roman summer heat and seeking the cooler temperatures outside of the capitol.

“I hope everyone can have some vacation time to restore the body and spirit,” Leo said before leaving the Vatican during his noontime prayer Saturday.

“Once the gate was closed and the crowd began to disperse towards the square and the lake area, a woman’s cry caught everyone’s attention,” a release from the Vatican said. “Pope Leo suddenly appeared on the balcony of the villa.”

Leo’s visit marks a return to the papal vacation spot after his predecessor, Pope Francis, eschewed the retreat during his dozen year papacy.

Castel Gandolfo overlooks Lake Alban in the hills south of Rome, and has been a favorite getaway for Roman rulers since the time of first century Emperor Domitian.

Leo will have a handful of public events while on vacation, including performing Masses, noon prayers and will also participate in some events at the Vatican, the release said.

For years we’ve read stories about antidemocratic countries abroad — supreme leaders acting with impunity, masked agents rounding up residents, troops in the streets, crackdowns on peaceful protests, intimidation and arrests of opposition figures, show-of-force military parades and political assassinations.

For a time this month, I was abroad. And the antidemocratic country I was reading about was my own.

Tuning out the news on vacation proved impossible. Every day brought another must-read outrage, reflecting the punitive policies and hateful climate that wannabe strongman Donald Trump has fostered in the United States.

From the vantage of an ocean away, even as a visitor in a developing country with problems of its own, I read about events back home with the clarity of the proverbial 38,000-feet view: The news added up to a picture of a proud nation slipping into the authoritarian ways modeled by the kleptocratic dictators that President Trump so admires.

For perspective, I reread President Reagan’s farewell address: Trump has taken America far from the shining “city upon a hill” that Reagan, yesteryear’s Republican icon, evoked. And far from our self-image as a land of immigrants and a bastion of freedom, democracy and the rule of law. Reagan’s city on a hill was “teeming with people of all kinds living in harmony and peace.” If there had to be walls, he said, “the walls had doors and the doors were open to anyone with the will and the heart to get here.”

That was then.

As I flew off for my break, the U.S. news was dominated by the tawdry breakup of Trump and “first buddy” Elon Musk. But then that sophomoric saga was overshadowed by more serious stuff — starting with military-style raids throughout Los Angeles by thuggish agents from Immigration and Customs Enforcement, rounding up migrants, including children, for detention and deportation.

It’s a drama that continues from big-city L.A. to small-town Great Barrington, Mass., in heartland hotels, meatpacking plants and restaurants. Descriptions of the shock troops have become too familiar: Many wear face masks and no badges to identify themselves. They often don’t wear recognizable uniforms. They have no warrants but lots of guns. And migrants are disappearing into their unmarked vehicles. To where, families aren’t told; when they find out, it’s often too late to help their loved ones assert their due process rights.

On Day 2 of my vacation, Trump took the all but unprecedented step of federalizing the California National Guard to act against protesters in L.A., over the objections of Gov. Gavin Newsom and Mayor Karen Bass and despite police assurances that local law enforcement could handle even the most confrontational of demonstrators. Next came the Marines.

That only seemed to exacerbate the unrest, as drama king Trump, who governs as if he were still scripting a reality TV show, surely intended. With Los Angeles as a testing ground, he may be seeking a pretext to invoke the 1807 Insurrection Act so he can freely deploy the military nationally against any who oppose him. He toyed with the idea during his first presidency. Back then he was constrained by responsible advisors; now he has surrounded himself with sycophants.

Meanwhile, he’s as unnervingly erratic on his deportation policy as on tariffs. First Trump posted that he’d lighten up on farm, restaurant and hotel raids because those industries complained that they were losing “very good, long time workers.” But days later, he ordered ICE to expand its efforts in L.A. and other big cities where Democrats, he lied, “use Illegal Aliens” to cheat in elections and steal jobs from citizens.

Amid the mayhem, the commander in chief traveled to Fort Bragg, N.C., and disgracefully crossed the line that, since the founding, has kept the military out of politics. He goaded the young troops he addressed — reportedly vetted for their political leanings — to cross it too. He started by boasting about reversing former President Joe Biden’s deletion of Confederate traitors’ names from military bases, and throughout encouraged boos against Biden, Newsom, Bass and Democrats generally, and applause for himself. He wore a MAGA cap. Such merch was on sale.

Days later, he got the military parade he’d long wanted. Or maybe not: It was more historical than martial; instead of goose-stepping through the capital, the troops ambled, smiled and made hand hearts. And it was sparsely attended. The nationwide “No Kings” counterprotests were not.

The toll that Trump’s overreach has taken on America’s reputation, especially in just a few weeks in June, has been heavy. Five Democratic politicians detained or arrested. An uncountable number of workers — not criminals, and many here legally — removed and sometimes disappeared from their families, jobs, communities and even the country. Armed military facing down peaceful protesters and protecting ICE and FBI agents as they snatch people off the street without due process.

On Tuesday, California Sen. Alex Padilla — who five days earlier had been wrestled to the floor and handcuffed by federal agents for interrupting Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem as she claimed Trump’s actions were liberating L.A. from socialists — delivered an emotional speech in the Senate. In U.S. history, he said, “we’ve had tumult. But we’ve never had a tyrant as a commander in chief.”

Until now.

Reagan ended his farewell with a sentiment that was inarguable 36 years ago: America, he said, “is still a beacon, still a magnet for all who must have freedom.” No longer. Even many citizens live in fear for their freedoms; I’ve heard from them. And I’ve felt it myself — no more so than when I was out of the country, looking back from afar.

@Jackiekcalmes @jackiecalmes.bsky.social @jkcalmes

Formerly a Hyatt Regency, this expansive resort underwent a $64-million property-wide renovation in 2024 and rebranded to fall under the luxury Grand Hyatt umbrella. The rooms, villas and restaurants all saw a major facelift, as did the poolscape with new decorative archways, landscaping and seating. The showpiece is the HyTides water park, which is a holdover from the Regency days with a 450-foot lazy river and 30-foot dueling waterslides that overlook a whopping eight pools, including an adults-only sanctuary. One of my favorite new areas is a newly refreshed hideout for kiddos with a splash pad, a mini waterslide and a 1-foot-high wading pool. Forgot swim diapers or a flotation vest? The amenity stand at the pool provides them for free.

At many times, the pool area takes on a summer camp vibe with free group activities ranging from chalk art to bracelet making, fishing, tie-dye and bingo. On many Friday and Saturday evenings, outdoor movies are screened under the stars with s’mores kits available to purchase.

Pool chairs are plentiful, even in peak season, and wherever you sit, food and drinks are served poolside or available to purchase at a walk-up counter. I especially like bringing my kids here, not just for the ample places to splash around, but also for the outdoor game area, which comes with oversized Connect Four, cornhole, foosball, ping-pong and giant Jenga.

Just know that parking is not included and costs an extra $12. You can buy your pass on ResortPass, but unlike most other hotels in the area, the Grand Hyatt also sells them directly on its website, and you’ll save $4 per adult and $2 per child if you do so. Plus, in my experience, this hotel sells out fast on ResortPass, so you might have better luck if you purchase entry through the hotel, though weekends in high season are often blocked out.

Day pass: $50 through the hotel, $54 on ResortPass

“Vacation” and “sex” were once my two favorite words. Put them together and you’ve got the mecca of pleasure: a romp in Egyptian cotton sheets followed by a juicy room service cheeseburger. Can you say sex in Italian? I can — “sesso” — because my husband and I copulated our way across the country early in our relationship. On our honeymoon in Hawaii two decades ago, we barely left our room and nearly missed the luau. Every getaway back then offered foreplay with a view.

And then we had a kid.

Still, the lure of vacation sex beckons. And not just for me and my husband. According to a survey conducted for the book “Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life,” 90% of people fantasized about sex in a hotel.

“All couples put ‘vacation sex’ on a pedestal because we’re more relaxed and playful when we get out of our daily routines,” says sex therapist Emily Morse, author of “Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure” and host of the podcast “Sex With Emily.” “But we shouldn’t lose that intimacy because we travel with kids.”

So when my husband and I decided to celebrate 20 years of marriage by returning to Maui with our mercurial teen daughter Tess in tow, we vowed to get it on at least once on our trip. We started with a rough strategy: booking a 640-square-foot room with two queen beds. If you’re in the mood to get frisky during your family vacation, here are some tips to consider.

Plan like a pro

If you want to engage in some intimate time, add it to your itinerary before you take off. “You have to schedule sex like you schedule snorkeling or any excursion,” says Morse. “If you wait around for it to happen, it won’t happen.”

Sophie Pierce, a mom to three daughters ages 8, 9 and 14, doesn’t take chances when she and her husband ex-Navy SEAL Neil Mahoney travel. They think — and act — ahead, so they’re not completely disappointed if it doesn’t happen during the trip. “We always have sex the night before we leave for a family vacation, just in case,” says Pierce, the founder of three dance studios in Los Angeles. “But that doesn’t mean we won’t try.”

My husband and I didn’t have a strategy before we left L.A., but I did sneak sensual incidentals like lacy lingerie and a discreet bottle of lubricant into my suitcase. “Pack a sex toy too,” advises Morse, who says we’re more likely to be open to experimentation away from home. We agreed not to bring any work responsibilities on our trip. We’re both screenwriters, so we’re constantly polishing a script or crafting a pitch. I figured that by eliminating the stress of meeting deadlines, we upped the chances of having sex.

Lean into the hotel’s kid activities

Hotels and resorts see you, exhausted parents. Properties are upping their game for young guests with more exciting programming and cooler kids clubs. At the Ojai Valley Inn’s “night camp,” for instance, you can sign the children up for a scavenger hunt followed by dinner, a movie and s’mores. (Surely, that buys you enough time for a romp.) La Quinta Resort & Club in the desert offers junior pickleball clinics, along with massages and facials for tweens and teens up to age 15. At Alisal Ranch in Solvang, kids can hang out at the bar and paint horseshoes or take a riding lesson. Got littler ones? Some clubs, like Kidtopia at the Omni La Costa in Carlsbad, cater to infants (6 months and older) with nurseries on-site. Many hotels also offer babysitting services.

Note that clubs typically cater to the toddler-through-12 set. But there are exceptions, like the teen club at Grand Velas in Los Cabos that programs TikTok challenges, dance-offs at a dedicated nightclub with a DJ and karaoke events. At the Grand Wailea where we stayed, however, teens like my daughter Tess just side-eyed each other in the lobby. There was a family lounge on the property with darts and virtual reality, but it wasn’t a magnet for adolescents during our stay.

“We’re not comfortable getting sitters we don’t know on vacation,” says Pierce, who, instead, might pretend to leave the sunscreen in the room and put her teen daughter in charge to duck away from the hotel pool for a quickie with her husband. Or put the younger girls in a shared tub, but take the bath towels and mat so they can’t interrupt mom and dad in the bedroom. (Clearly, Pierce’s kids are way into self-care.)

For middle school teacher Vanessa Orellana — mom to a daughter, 6, and 1-year-old twins — the windows of opportunity for adult time on vacation call for quiet. “Between hotel beds that squeak and the in-laws’ walls, we’ve identified two golden windows for potential action: nap time and post-bedtime,” she says. “But even then, success is a coin toss. Our 8-year-old could pop up like a ninja, asking for water.”

Be flexible

Life happens, even on vacation. Prepare to pivot to plan B. My husband and I sent our daughter on an errand one morning at the 40-acre Maui resort, but she came back to fetch her AirPods and interrupted our marathon kiss. We shrugged it off and then held hands by the pool. Morse advises: “With kids, you may have to redefine intimacy on your trip. It could be flirting or even just making out after they go to bed.”

Pierce and her husband know their sex will be quick, if it happens at all. One dad of a toddler told me he and his husband have a ritual in which they text erotic messages to each other when they’re on vacation — and then promptly delete them. Just be sure to manage your expectations and laugh at any aborted attempts at intimacy.

“We’ve got an unspoken agreement: no guilt, no grumbling. Just a ‘to be continued’ knowing glance,” says Orellana. “It’s about connection, trust and keeping the spark alive through the sheer chaos of life with little humans.”

In the end, my husband and I did not get lucky. On our final night in Maui, we hit nearby award-winning restaurant Ko, where kids eat for 50% off. Unfortunately, a huge dinner of fresh crudo, lobster tempura, octopus and kobe beef — along with multiple desserts — made us shudder at the idea of any activity. So we had failed at our grand plan. But was our vacation ruined? Not at all. Ultimately, my family bonded in a way that doesn’t come easy with a teen. We swam with turtles, thrift-shopped around upcountry and held hands (for three whole seconds) while watching a sunset.

And on our first night back at home, my husband and I finally had sex. No fancy sheets or room service, but I did shout, “Aloooha!”