In Netflix series Love Con Revenge , Norwegian-born Cecilie sets out on a quest to ‘unmask other scammers’. In an exclusive interview she gives her top ways to spot a love scammer
Cecilie Fjellhoy was 29 when she was swooned by Simon Liviev (real name Shimon Hayut) but her world came crumbling down when she realised she was a victim of a cruel scam.
The relationship left her in thousands of pounds worth of debt. Disclosing the first stages of her relationship with the infamous Tinder Swindler, she said: “He was very handsome and very charismatic. I felt so well taken care of and truly loved. I felt really lucky to be around him.”
In their short relationship of 54 days, Cecilie lost more than $200,000 (£150,000) to ‘Simon’ who was posing as the heir to a diamond empire and often needed Cecilie’s finances to evade his ‘enemies’.
In Neflix’s new show Love Con Revenge, Norwegian-born Cecilie sets out on a quest to ‘unmask other scammers’.
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The fraudsters here are not claiming to be billionaire diamond dealers escaping thugs as in Cecilie’s case – but have similarly extraordinary covers in a bid to defraud victims.
These include an ‘army veteran’ who says he needs money to give to the family of his war comrade who died taking a bullet for him, ultimately defrauding his girlfriend of $50,000 (£36,883). Meanwhile, another woman pretends she had MS so her boyfriend will fund her lifestyle.
In an interview with The Mirror, Cecilie said of the fraudsters she exposes on the new show: “There is nugget of truth in every single one – so you believe them. In my case, Shimon Hayut was playing a character called Simon. He was not a diamond dealer, but I went on a private jet with him. That’s why it seemed real.”
She adds that all the people she investigated in the new series: “They are straight out of the romance con artist playbook.”
Jessica Hampson, CEO of fraud specialists CEL Solicitors added: “Cecilie has done fantastic work in raising awareness of romance fraud. More than any other type of scam, romance fraudsters manipulate the emotions of their victims, playing with their feelings and their trust.
“It can be difficult for people to come forward after this type of scam but the more the crime is reported, the better it can be prevented. It is possible to recover the money lost but you must first report the crime to the police and your bank.”
In 2019, Cecilie’s ex was convicted of four charges of fraud – unrelated to her allegations – and sentenced to 15 months in prison, but he was released after serving five months.
The conviction followed the two-year sentence he received in Finland in 2015 over the defrauding of three women in that country.
Here are Cecelie’s seven ways to spot a lover scammer:
Super successful careers or trustworthy jobs
Love Con Revenge features a doctor and an army veteran. The doctor turned out not to be a medical one and the army vet only served briefly before being thrown out for drug taking.
“What impresses people is occupations that we can trust. We see time and time again that fraudsters will try to pretend that they’re doctors or successful businessmen,” says Cecilie.
It’s difficult not to take someone at face value, but it’s important to be alert to anything that sounds too good to be true.
Borrowing small amounts of money and paying it straight back
Online dating should be about getting to know each other, not talking about finances. But some love con artist can attempt to use this to build trust initially.
“This builds trust with your fraudster – because they have paid you back before you don’t worry or are concerned you won’t get the money back,” says Cecile.
They pay it back quickly and sometimes even add interest. This is shown by one love conman on the Netflix series who lures his victim into a false sense of security that her money will always be returned.
Push and pull relationship
Fraudsters will abruptly end the relationship, Cecile says, withdrawing their affection before starting things back up again. This leaves the victim deeply insecure and feeling like they’re walking on eggshells – desperate not to do anything that might upset the relationship again.
“They reel you in with love and attention. Once you’re hooked, they will unexpectedly pull away,” warns Cecilie. “Suddenly, you’re the one chasing their love and affection, and that’s the power shift that they want. You’re not thinking straight. That’s when they can get even more money from you!”
Love bombing
Fraudsters will often move in at lightening speed, making the target feel like are being swept off their feet. They want move to into a relationship very quickly – for example moving in with you, within a few months of dating.
Cecilie was treated to 100 red roses on her birthday, taken on fancy dates and the scammer proclaimed his love to her very early in the relationship.
“This is called ‘love bombing’. They love you, they shower you with compliments, they want to move in, you’re their dream woman. Everything is happening very quickly – watch out for that,” Cecilie explained.
Sending several romantic messages in a short space of time is also a way of “lovebombing” a way into a relationship. Scammers will often shower you with affection to draw you in and make you feel special.
Cecile says she wishes people shouldn’t have to be on their guard for this of behaviour. “I’ve always loved very fast. You hear those stories – ‘we went on a date and we’ve been married for 30 years’ – It’s sad (to feel that can’t happen).”
Sunk cost fallacy
Cecilie said: “Sunk Cost Fallacy is what you put into a relationship, and the further in you get, the more difficult it is to admit that something’s wrong because you already spent so much time, and so much money, that you go deeper and deeper into it instead of retracting.”
By the end victims have invested so much that they don’t want to listen to their inner doubts and abandon a course of action they have invested so heavily in. “You don’t want to confront your nightmare,” the campaigner says.
Never wanting to meet in person
In Cecilie’s case, she did meet her scammer in person often, but he was faking his identity. In most cases of romance fraud, scammers have a reluctance to take the relationship beyond the realm of online.
Cecilie said: “If they always have an excuse, like that they’re travelling, if they can never meet up or they’re always busy – be very wary. Meet up with them in person to make sure that the person you’re talking to online is the real one.”
Future faking
Future faking is manipulation based on an elaborate lie. It is when false promises are made about a shared future, such as a romantic relationship, business partnership, or investment.
This tactic involves feigning a deep connection and using elaborate, long-term plans to keep the victim invested.
“From the female and one male victim in the series, we can see that everyone wants that future with someone – it’s what we all want. Throughout this series, I saw text messages that the fraudsters were sending,” says Cecilie.