Halls

With more than a dozen locations across the United Kingdom and its first stateside location landing in Manhattan next year, Dishoom is hardly a secret. But each outpost offers a distinct vibe and set of influences, with the location in Shoreditch recalling an eccentric Iranian cafe by way of Bombay with mismatched furniture, bamboo blinds and gently frayed rugs. For breakfast, there are stuffed naan rolls, date and banana porridge or a Bombay-inflected take on a full English breakfast with akuri, bacon, peppery Shropshire pork sausages, masala beans, grilled field mushrooms, grilled tomato and buttered buns, best paired with fresh juice, chai or a sesame espresso martini. The all-day menu features well-established hits such as chicken ruby, lamb and veggie samosas and the famous black daal that’s slow-cooked for 24 hours, with a range of lassi yogurt drinks, Indian beers and cocktails that put a spin on the classics, such as the thandai mai tai with rum, almond milk, black pepper, cardamom bitters and house thandai syrup. The restaurant doesn’t accept dinner reservations, and lines can get notoriously long, but hospitable servers help pass the time with free chai and sherry samples.

7 Boundary St., London E2 7JE

CELEBRITIES are turning up in droves for Jake Hall‘s funeral this afternoon.

Boxer Derek Chisora is among the celebrities arriving at Grade-I church St Mary the Virgin, in Wanstead, London, for the service.

Cops found the 35-year-old former reality show star in a pool of blood after he ran through a single-glazed glass door.

He was found dead at a Spanish holiday villa with head injuries after a night out partying on May 6.

Officers were called to the rented house in Santa Margalida in the north of the holiday island at around 7.30am.

Police quizzed four men and two women staying at the house.

They reportedly told officers that they had been out in the evening and continued partying after returning to the property in the early hours.

Authorities have not released the nationalities of the others who were at the property.

The Guardia Civil confirmed there was no “criminal activity”.

Hours before he died, he shared a last post on Instagram vowing to “remember the good things”.

Set to the Rolling Stones’ classic Beast of Burden, it showed him enjoying painting, Spanish scenery and fashion.

It was captioned: “Life is bollocks sometimes but I’m gonna try remember the good things – ️ looking through things – I’m just making art – in many forms.”

Footballer and model Jake leaves behind the mother of his child, Misse Beqiri, who he had an on-off relationship with since 2016.

The couple share a daughter, River, who was born in November 2017.

Misse posted an emotional tribute, writing: “There was no way you were ever supposed to go. My heart is shattered, and so is our daughter’s.

“You lit up every room you walked into – your smile, your charm, your energy filled the air.”

She then paid tribute to his love of music and creativity, as well as how many people really loved him.

Chloe Lewis also posted a tribute to her “first love” at the time of his death,

Chloe, who began a 10 year relationship with Jake when she was 16, shared a collection of photos on Instagram from their time together and wrote heartbreaking words that moved celeb pals including Michelle Keegan and Ferne McCann.

“My first love, my childhood sweetheart,” began Chloe. “A love that taught me so much about life and myself, and even more so now your presence is no longer here.”

In their early 20s Towie turned them into stars, but fame had a detrimental impact on their relationship.

Chloe said neither of them wanted to be in the public eye and the pressures of the show put a strain on their romance.

Leading tributes to the star at the time of his death was legendary DJ Fat Tony, who shared an image of the star and captioned it: “Devastating news we Love you such an awful loss to the world you beautiful man x.”

Blue’s Antony Costa wrote: “So sad, what a lovely bloke you were mate R.I.P.”

Love Island’s Jack Fincham wrote on a picture of the pair posted on Instagram: “Cannot believe what I have just read. Condolences to Jake’s family a very sad day. Rest in perfect peace mate.”

Jake first shot to fame on The Only Way Is Essex in 2015, where he famously dated Chloe Lewis before quitting the show in 2024.

Call “Scary Movie” lazy, dumb and offensive. It would enthusiastically agree. The lowbrow horror parody thrives on shtick about weed, race and genitalia. The only thing that scares it is high expectations.

But amid the rampant stupidity of the first “Scary Movie,” released in 2000, original director Keenen Ivory Wayans discovered two major talents: Regina Hall and Anna Faris. As heroines Brenda and Cindy, respectively, Hall and Faris were daffy, dopey and committed. Alongside a cast of Playmates (Carmen Electra, Shannon Elizabeth) and family members (Wayans brothers Marlon and Shawn), they played stupid like Shakespeare. In two decades since, both gave up the Ghostface to do better things: Hall in “Girls Trip” and “One Battle After Another,” and Faris in “Smiley Face” and “The House Bunny.” (Frankly, Faris deserves to be doing more.) If a sixth “Scary Movie” is going to lure them back for what the ensemble openly frets is a rebooquel — as in a reboot-sequel, here pronounced “re-booty call” — it better be good.

Fine, good is a stretch. The latest “Scary Movie,” which simply recycles the title “Scary Movie,” is as lazy, dumb and offensive as the others. But Hall and Faris, now playing the dotty mothers of the next generation of victims, are hilarious, romping about like their Brenda and Cindy have clearly been knocked on the head too often. (Brenda, fans of the franchise know, has technically already died twice.) I laughed 10 times, which makes this “Scary Movie” the best of the bunch — a pallid compliment.

Directing duties have shuffled to Michael Tiddes, a longtime Wayans collaborator, who gets gutsy performances from three of this entry’s newbies: Olivia Rose Keegan and Savannah Lee Nassif as Cindy’s estranged daughters, a pill-popper and a Wednesday Addams clone, and Ruby Snowber, maximizing every second of her feature debut as a high school tramp.

The Wayans clan left the series early on due to a contract dispute with Harvey and Bob Weinstein. Now seven have returned. Four Wayans (Craig, Keenan Ivory, Marlon and Shawn) co-wrote the script with Rick Alvarez; three more (Kim, Damon Jr., and Gregg) act in the film alongside Marlon and Shawn, who revive their characters Shorty, a stoner with a shrill cackle, and Ray, whose only personality trait is being gay. In one of many homages to “Sinners,” Ray promises a church he’ll act straight. Then he mimes tucking his manhood between his legs and dancing like Buffalo Bill in “The Silence of the Lambs.”

Yes, Shorty and Ray were also murdered in the first movie. No, it doesn’t matter. “Scary Movie’s” one genuinely ingenious move is to resurrect actors without shame. Jon Abrahams’ bad boyfriend (stabbed), Lochlyn Munro’s lout (slit throat), and Electra’s eye candy (pierced through the breast implant) are back, too, as are a pair of erotically linked survivors, Cheri Oteri’s news anchor and Dave Sheridan’s moronic cop, whose spittle-flecked chin is the grossest thing in a film that has a mall Santa costumed like “Terrifier’s” Art the Clown gifting a child a set of severed testicles.

“The Silence of the Lambs” remains the only horror film to win best picture at the Academy Awards. This “Scary Movie” has no delusions of that. Yet in the years since the last installment, 2013’s “Scary Movie 5” — a sequel so awful that even its own director, Malcolm D. Lee, later admitted, “It’s not worth your time” — the horror genre at-large has become ambitious, with “Sinners,” “The Substance,” and “Get Out” earning Oscar nominations and “Weapons’” witchy Amy Madigan seizing the supporting actress prize.

This “Scary Movie” makes fun of all four of those newer hits, as well as the recent rebooquels of “Halloween,” which was earnest, and “Scream,” which couldn’t decide what tone to hit. Each send-up is funny for at least an entire minute, a lifetime when you’re watching Marlon’s Shorty mug for the camera. Either Shorty has the most screen time or he’s just so excruciating that it feels like it.

I cannot make the straight-faced argument that the worst “Scary Movies” were held back by their source material. Still, it’s true that when the series was at its nadir, so few vibrant horror films were being made that it was stuck lampooning the now-forgotten Jessica Chastain chiller “Mama.” Likewise, when this “Scary Movie” takes a jab at Nicolas Cage’s more-kooky-than-tedious “Longlegs,” the limp gag of the creepy Shorthand (Chris Elliot), underscores that the movie itself just isn’t that interesting.

“Scary Movie” inserts two political jokes that earn a solid gasp-giggle-groan. Yet, the most grating new addition is a self-righteous student named Dei Meeks (Sydney Park), who polices the humor. The movie relishes killing the killjoy. A whole mob does her in; it’s the one death that feels angry. I’d have been happy to see her die in her first scene. Not that I empathize with canceled comics who posture as if they’re victims under attack, but it would do this country good if it could occasionally share a laugh.

Don’t waste one brain cell trying to deduce the assassin. The answer is surprising and satisfying. While the script’s hasty nods to “KPop Demon Hunters” and the biopic “Michael” make it feel like it was written on yesterday’s Kleenex, the immediacy allows “One Battle After Another’s” Teyana Taylor to acknowledge that Madigan’s Aunt Gladys stole her Oscar. Swilling tequila shots and hollering “Viva la revolución!,” she’s hysterical in the cleverest opening slasher scene since Drew Barrymore answered the phone in the 1996 “Scream.” I’d watch six more “Scary Movies” if Taylor starred in them. But like Hall and Faris, she deserves better.