Harry Styles returned to charm at ‘SNL,’ and he’s not ‘queerbaiting’
Harry Styles is no stranger to “Saturday Night Live,” having performed multiple times with his former boy band One Direction and more recently as a solo artist. But this isn’t his first time as host either.
This week, the pop star returned to the Studio 8H to host for a second time, more than six years after his debut. That’s a long time in between, during which Styles has starred in a couple of films, “Don’t Worry Darling” and “My Policeman,” and released a trio of albums, including his latest, “Kiss All the Time. Disco, Occasionally.,” which he was there to promote.
Styles has a knack for radiating charm, honed after years in the spotlight as a musician, and now with some notable acting roles under his belt, he’s more than primed for the stage. And the timing is perfect, considering many actors are in Hollywood this weekend for the Oscars.
He delivered again with a variety sketches, including one about a prosecutor distracted by the famous comedian/lawyer appointed to defend an alleged thief, a pretaped sketch that riffed on HBO Max’s hit medical drama “The Pitt,” and a closing sketch where he played himself promoting a line of clothing modeled after some of his most famous outfits for Target.
He also excelled in parts where he could show off his vocals and dancing, like in “Sparkle of the Sea,” an infomercial about a German cruise line, and another pretaped sketch, “She’s an Irish Dancer,” where guys find out just how Irish their dates are in a nod to St. Patrick’s Day on Tuesday. Flatter, though, were sketches about a pair of Best Buy workers, and one where Styles played a drive-thru worker at a White Castle, but that’s because Jane Wickline and Veronika Slowikowska stole the skit as a pair of nerdy girls trying to ask him out to the school dance.
Styles performed his new single, “Dance No More,” after last week’s host Ryan Gosling introduced him, a fitting appearance since Styles crashed his monologue. And Paul Simon also stopped by to introduce Styles before his second song, “Coming Up Roses.”
This week’s cold open touched on the ongoing war in Iran. The patriarch (Mikey Day) of a family at a gas station says he needs to fill up their car. As a piano begins to play, his wife (Ashley Padilla) says, “Fill up? Not all the way, right?” “We have to,” Day replies emphatically. “But it’s $5 dollars,” she says before turning to her two children (Marcello Hernández and Sarah Sherman) to say they have to leave one of them behind because gas is too expensive. Why? “The Epstein files,” exclaims President Trump (James Austin Johnson), who jumps into the scene. “It’s called butterfly effect. Epstein was the first domino,” he says, miming dominoes falling. Trump goes on to introduce himself by saying we might remember him from campaign promises such as “lower gas prices” and “no more wars” (“Psych!”). “We love to make promises because a promise is a lie that just hasn’t happened yet.” As for the stock market, he puts it in a way that Harry Styles fans might understand — it’s going in one direction, garnering loud cheers and applause. He jokes about Iran’s age, saying it is old and nobody likes them, “Iran is like ballet and opera and weird Timothée Chalamet,” referring to the actor’s comments that have caused an uproar.
But Trump says he has everything under control, meeting with top minds including influencer and boxer Jake Paul, who he says was booed “very badly” at his fight against Mike Tyson. “Did someone say booze?” Department of Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth (Colin Jost) says as he emerges from the family’s car and dozens of cans fall to the ground. (“It was just a couple of road sodas, chill.”) He then thanks Trump for the “beautiful, size 16 Florsheim shoes,” a reference to the Wall Street Journal report that they are the president’s gift of choice to close friends and advisors. Hegseth goes on to say that they are “hashtag winning” the war with Iran, and as for the Strait of Hormuz, he advises that the tankers moving oil should just do what he does at a DUI checkpoint: “Close your eyes and gun it.”
In his monologue, Styles, dressed in a grey pinstripe suit and bright blue tie, said he couldn’t resist hosting when he heard they booked his favorite-ever musical guest. After his tour ended in 2023, he took a lot of time off, realizing he’d spent much of his life on the road and “making songs about fruit that people think were about sex.” He just really likes fruit — and sex. He also said a lot of people pay attention to the clothes he wears (true, see above), with some people accusing him of “queerbaiting,” to which he responded, “Maybe you don’t know everything about me, dad.” But as far as what he did in his time off, he took up boring things, like jogging (his sub-three hour marathon in Berlin was the buzz of the running world). It’s better than the alternative, he says, as the screen flashed to an image of the former Prince Andrew. But now he’s promoting his new album, “Kiss All the Time. Disco, Occasionally.”, because what’s better than kissing? He actually doesn’t want to kiss all the time, leading to a brief appearance and disappearance of cast members Chloe Fineman and Sherman, unless its Ben Marshall. He complimented Marshall’s backside, and gave him a smooch on the lips: “Now that’s queerbaiting.”
Best sketch of the night: I don’t know if your dad did this, but my dad used to pop it twice
The first sketch of the night took us into a courtroom, where a New Jersey prosecutor (Styles) rose to present his case against the defendant, Mr. Donovan (Tommy Brennan), who didn’t have an attorney. So the judge (Kenan Thompson) appointed one: comedian Sebastian Maniscalco (Hernández). It’s the second time Hernández has played the comedian, whose caricature of Maniscalco in a red blazer and black turtleneck is at turns spot on, exaggerated and completely hilarious. He chimed with retorts as the prosecutor explained the charges of stealing $5,000 in merchandise, including a belt. “Let me tell you something about a belt. When I was a kid, the belt wasn’t to keep the pants up, it was to keep the volume down,” Maniscalco says, motioning to his waist and explaining how his dad would use it. Maniscalco’s manic energy was too much for the courtroom sketch artist, though, who complains to the judge about having to draw him, showing a sketch of a blurred, multi-limbed man. Kudos to Styles who managed to mostly keep his composure as Hernández glided around him. But Styles had the last laugh with his own impression of Maniscalco, before a final sketch of him was revealed. Put it in the Lourve!
Also good: Why get real healthcare when you’ve got ‘Mahaspital’
“The Pitt,” one of the buzziest TV shows in America, has been lauded for its realistic portrayal of emergency rooms and the stresses that medical workers endure on a regular basis. So when the opening scenes of this pretape began playing, the crowd went wild. But this isn’t “The Pitt,” it’s “Mahaspital,” brought to you by producer Robert F. Kennedy Jr. and the team behind Make America Healthy Again. Styles channels Noah Wyle’s Dr. Robby, marching toward an incoming patient on a gurney as she’s pushed through the ER hallway. “What she needs is a steak,” he says. “Give me beef tallow and six raw eggs, too.” The sketch touches on many of the hallmarks of the MAHA movement: healing crystals, vaccine skepticism, raw milk and lots and lots of protein. And we can’t forget that Central Park bear.
‘Weekend Update’ winner: Battle of the heart (emojis)
“Update” anchors Michael Che and Jost focused most of their attention on the Iran war this week, but they also touched on another event happening this weekend: the Oscars. They brought in Tucker Carlson (Jeremy Culhane) to talk about the best picture nominees. Culhane’s impression of the conservative pundit was pretty impressive, capturing his cadence and habit of using rhetorical questions — I hope we see it again.
But it was Day and Hernández who stole the segment as emojis aerial tramway and heart, respectively, who joined to comment on Apple’s addition of eight new emojis. Heart emoji on the new additions: “All I know is they’re all going to be more popular than this loser,” pointing to Day. “I’m No. 1 because I’m useful. People use me for everything.” But you can’t put an aerial tramway down, who tried to explain other ways to use the emoji somewhat unsuccessfully. At least he has a solid crew of bangers: orange square, division sign, snorkel and “my boy, the goat” building with a horn on it. Day was dedicated to the bit, making Hernandez crack with muffled laughter. Don’t be surprised if you see a lot more of aerial tramway (and his girlfriend, on with two arrows) in your texts.
