Damon

It’s hard to believe, as Matt Damon noted in his monologue in this week’s “Saturday Night Live,” that the actor of this summer’s “The Odyssey” has only guest hosted three times during his lengthy career. (In case you’re wondering, his frequent writing and acting partner Ben Affleck has hosted five times.)

That’s a shame because Damon checks all the boxes for what an A-list actor should do when they host the show: be super present, take every opportunity to do the silliest sketches without seeming uncomfortable, and bring at least some of their acting chops to bear to give otherwise lightweight sketches a little extra gravitas or emotion.

Damon did all that and helped start the show off with an extra jolt of energy by returning as Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh in the cold open, along with last week’s ringer, Aziz Ansari as FBI Director Kash Patel.

Not every sketch worked, like an early Godzilla parody set in a command center that was simply a series of increasingly anticipated spit takes on poor Mikey Day. Things improved when Damon played himself in a pre-taped sketch about a movie made just for moms ahead of Mother’s Day; mom’s fantasy? No conflict among the kids and a blissful marriage to Matt Damon.

Damon also played one of a trio of middle-aged men (including Marcello Hernández and Kenan Thompson) constantly getting beat up by “tough guys” who are sometimes just children. He also played a frustrated dad in a strange cat litter commercial, a substitute teacher trying to get a classroom of students to dance (unsuccessfully) and, memorably, an auctioneer in a fight with his auctioneer wife (Sarah Sherman). In these sketches in particular, Damon’s acting skills helped elevate the characters he played, grounding them in sadness or frustration. It definitely helped.

The “Odyssey” might turn out to be the summer’s biggest movie hit. If that’s the case, let’s hope Matt Damon isn’t kept from hosting “SNL” for so long after this week’s solid job.

Musical guest Noah Kahan performed “The Great Divide” and “Doors.”

At Martin’s Tavern in Washington, D.C., Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth (Colin Jost) returned yet again to shout-bark at those around him, brag about the Iran War he claims he started and, of course, talk about drinking alcohol. But this time, he was joined by his apparent drinking buddy Kavanaugh, who held a gavel and immediately ordered a “six-three decision” (six beers, three shots of Jameson whiskey). Glowing in their victories, Hegseth bellowed, “Can you believe I just started a war?” Kavanaugh replied, “Can you believe I ended abortion? Your body, my choice!” Kavanaugh went on to show off what at first looked like a dinosaur-shaped district map for Tennessee before revealing it’s his field sobriety test, when he was asked to draw a circle. Kavanaugh bemoaned the male loneliness crisis just before they were joined by Patel, who cried, “Does this bar take Kaaaaash?” Patel showed off the bourbon that bears his name. (“Somehow this is a real thing that I, the FBI director, have made. This is real!”) Kavanaugh revealed a secret: that the court is going to let Trump do a third term. “Trump found the original Constitution and on the end, he wrote, ‘Psych!’ ” The three ended the sketch by singing Chumbawamba’s “Tubthumbing” with its callouts of their drink orders.

Damon previewed his upcoming film, even though he had to mention several times that “The Odyssey” won’t be out for another nine weeks. He also had to break the news that the lovely “SNL” tradition of bringing on moms of cast members wouldn’t be happening this year due to Spirit Airlines shutting down. It turns out, after an audience member (“SNL” writer Jack Bensinger) asks, that only Hernández’s mom was able to make it. Damon then recorded a video message to moms out there for anyone who didn’t get a gift for them. “You deserve a night out… nine weekends from now,” he said, suggesting the movie would make a great date night.

Best sketch of the night: Do I hear best sketch of the night? Sold!

A sketch as gimmicky as this one — in which the premise is two auctioneers (Damon and Sherman) are having a marriage-ending fight — only works if the performers are up to the task, and luckily both Damon and Sherman navigated the super-fast dialogue expertly and without looking like they were eyeing cue cards the entire time. The two went back and forth, auctioneering a discussion about weight, infidelity, drinking, their sex life and, eventually, terms of their divorce in front of their four young sons (who, adorably, hold up little numbered signs. Yes, they were played by adult cast members.). Even for “SNL” and for the last-sketch-of-the-night slot, it was a bold sketch for live TV and Damon and Sherman expertly walked the tightrope on this one.

Also good: Your mom will only make it through 23 minutes of this

“SNL” is no stranger to spiky sketch comedy takes on motherhood: remember “Mom Jeans?” For this year’s Mother’s Day take, it presented “Mom: The Movie,” a film devoid of conflict or dramatic tension because “Moms have enough stress. Why not let them feel good for a day?” Ashley Padilla plays the mom in the film, enjoying argument-free time with her kids (Jeremy Culhane, Tommy Brennan and Veronika Slowikowska), who only deliver good news. She’s married to Matt Damon, making her Rhonda Damon, and they met when he noticed her giant turquoise necklace after a movie screening. The film is streaming where moms are expected to find it: on HomeGoods Plus.

‘Weekend Update’ winner: This ‘Update’ segment is bananas — the round kind

This week’s “Update” featured three guest segments. Hernández and Day played kamikaze dolphins who work for the government, giving them a sense of porpoise (their joke, not mine). Jane Wickline expressed her anger at people caring that she’s always late in a funny musical rant. But Culhane’s return as Tucker Carlson continued a dead-on impersonation that covered several topics, including the Met Gala’s wild outfits, the new Michael Jackson biopic, and why eating round bananas is less gay than eating traditionally shaped ones. Culhane’s impression is a thing of beauty, and this time it leaned harder into Carlson’s tendency to express things from a very white point of view. In describing ASAP Rocky’s pink robe from the Met Gala, he said the performer was, “Wearing my least favorite color … African-American.”

Former Lakers assistant coach Damon Jones became the first among 34 defendants to plead guilty Tuesday in an expansive gambling indictment that also ensnared Hall of Fame player Chauncey Billups, Miami Heat star Terry Rozier and organized crime figures.

Jones was a Lakers coach in 2022 and 2023, long after he retired from an 11-year NBA playing career with 11 teams. Before a Feb. 9, 2023, game between the Lakers and Milwaukee Bucks in which LeBron James was a late scratch because of a foot injury, evidence showed that Jones urged a co-conspirator to “get a big bet on Milwaukee before the information is out!”

Jones urged his co-conspirator in a text: “Bet enough so Djones can eat to [sic] now!!!”

Jones and James were considered good friends for years. A person close to James told The Times in October that the Lakers star didn’t know that Jones was selling injury information to gamblers placing bets.

Jones had entered not guilty pleas in November to the two counts of conspiracy to commit wire fraud for his role in sports betting and rigged poker game schemes. However, during back-to-back hearings in Brooklyn federal court Tuesday, he entered guilty pleas to those charges.

Sentencing is scheduled for Jan. 6 before separate judges in the two cases. Guidelines call for 21 to 27 months in prison for the sports gambling charge and 63 to 78 months for the charge on rigged poker games. Prosecutors said they agreed to shave 15 months from the sentence in exchange for Jones pleading guilty by April 30.

He pleaded guilty in the sports betting case first. In a prepared statement, he acknowledged that he conspired with others to defraud sports betting companies by using “insider information that I obtained as a result of my relationships as a former player.”

Jones, 49, said the goal of the sports betting conspiracy was to use his insider knowledge of injuries to players to make money gambling.

“I would like to sincerely apologize to the court, my family, my peers and also the National Basketball Association,” said Jones, who was paid $21 million as a player.

Next came pleading guilty to participating in rigged poker games. Jones admitted that he was paid to use his NBA celebrity to lure deep-pocketed gamblers to poker games in Miami and New York.

Again reading from a statement, Jones said that, based on conversations with his co-conspirators at poker games, “I knew these games were rigged and that players were being cheated.”

And again he concluded with an apology, addressing the court, his family and friends.

“I’m really sorry to everyone involved for my actions,” he said.

Prosecutors said Monday they would seek additional charges against Rozier in the sports betting case because they had developed evidence that the 10-year NBA veteran solicited a bribe during an alleged gambling scheme.

According to the original indictment, when Rozier played for the Charlotte Hornets in 2023, he told friends he was planning to leave a game early with a “supposed injury,” allowing others to place wagers. Rozier has made $135 million as a player.

Billups, who played with the Clippers for two seasons and later was a member of Clippers coach Ty Lue’s staff before being named head coach of the Portland Trail Blazers in 2021, is charged with rigging underground poker games that authorities said were backed by three of New York’s Mafia families. Billups, who was inducted into the Naismith Hall of Fame in 2024, made $107 million as a player.