dakota johnson

‘Splitsville’ review: Falls short of the cutting comedy it wants to be

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“Splitsville” lands at a moment when every comedy released to theaters feels like a battle cry, an attempt to defend audiences’ rights to have a good time at the movies.

Directed by Michael Angelo Covino, who also produces, co-writes and co-stars alongside Kyle Marvin, the film continues the duo’s comic exploration of bad choices, in which men predictably make poor decisions and are depicted as vain, infantile and often motivated by their worst impulses. (It’s funny because it’s true.)

As the movie begins, Carey (Marvin) is married to Ashley (Adria Arjona), who tells him she has been seeing other people and wants a divorce. He seeks solace from his best friend Paul (Covino) and his wife, Julie (Dakota Johnson), who tell Carey they are in an open relationship. Soon Carey sleeps with Julie and all sorts of jealousies and complicated feelings arise among the four of them.

“Splitsville” — the title appears briefly onscreen as the neon sign of a dessert stand — is outwardly a satire of bourgeois aspirations, modern marriage and how no one really understands the dynamics of what goes on with other couples. But the film is actually more concerned with the absurdities of male friendship, to the extent that Covino and Marvin are perennially enamored of themselves and can’t help from centering their own antics.

Their previous movie, “The Climb,” was also about two friends locked into an up-and-down relationship alternating between of moments of betrayal and gestures of support. While they are not playing the same specific characters from “The Climb,” they are very much playing the same type. Covino is seemingly more smooth and together, though riddled with insecurities, while Marvin initially appears hapless and vulnerable, with an emotional intelligence that reveals him to be savvier than he first appears. So they basically meet in the middle.

The entire movie has a disappointing air of smug self-regard about it, with an expectation the audience will adore everything about the characters as much as they do. What at moments feels like a nascent interrogation of contemporary masculinity ultimately suffers from the very impulses it seems to want to parody. (We hear numerous times that one of them is generously endowed.)

Both Arjona and Johnson are asked to play variations on personas they have depicted elsewhere. Arjona has the same earthy warmth she did in “Hit Man,” while Johnson exhibits a placid air of controlled chaos similar to what she showed earlier this year in “Materialists.” They undoubtedly elevate the movie, though too often their characters feel like game pieces manipulated on a board controlled by the film’s male leads.

Johnson and Arjona are movie stars, beguiling and captivating. Covino and Marvin seem like a couple of guys who somehow wandered onscreen. The tension is never reconciled and is constantly throwing the story off balance.

In “The Climb,” there is a moment where Covino and Marvin briefly wrestle, a ludicrous sight of two grown men tussling on the ground. Here that beat expands into a full-blown fight scene that goes on for more than six minutes, as Paul attacks Carey after learning he slept with Julie. Smashing furniture, breaking drywall, destroying a fish tank (while saving the fish) and somehow singeing off Carey’s eyebrows, the fight scene is the movie’s centerpiece, one of its major selling points and indicative of everything that both works and doesn’t. It is funny, escalating ridiculously, but it is also too outlandish for the characters and the story and only really exists as something that Covino and Marvin simply wanted to do for themselves.

They’re good at jokes but much weaker on meaning, stumbling when it comes to making it all add up to something. With a background in advertising, Marvin and Covino are strong on short, punchy ideas conveyed through strong visuals. They may eventually be better served by making work they do not appear in — their performances are the weakest thing about their movies so far. Even as they remain a promising duo, “Splitsville” never quite fully comes together.

‘Splitsville’

Rated: R, for language throughout, sexual content and graphic nudity

Running time: 1 hour, 40 minutes

Playing: In limited release Friday, Aug. 22

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Chris Martin and Dakota Johnson SPLIT after eight years together leaving actress ‘devastated’

COLDPLAY’S Chris Martin and his actress fiancée Dakota Johnson have split up after eight years together.

Rumours about their relationship had been swirling for months and it has now been confirmed Dakota, 35, and Chris, 48, have gone their separate ways.

Dakota Johnson and Chris Martin on a balcony.

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Chris Martin and Dakota Johnson have splitCredit: The Mega Agency
Chris Martin and Dakota Johnson in Mumbai.

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The pair were pictured together in JanuaryCredit: Kamera One

A source told the Mail: “Their relationship has been over for a long time, they just haven’t been able to figure out to make it official. Dakota held a flame for them to be together because she loved him so much and loved his kids so much.”

The source said they tried the age old technique of spending time away from each other but the absences didn’t lead to their hearts growing fonder.

“Dakota is devastated that she isn’t going to be around his kids as much anymore, but wants them to know that she is always there for them,” the insider continued.

The pair were pictured holding hands in January at the Babulnath Temple, Mumbai, where Coldplay were touring.

It followed Dakota, who is the daughter of actors Don Johnson and Melanie Griffith, working on new romance movie Materialist with co-stars Chris Evans and Pedro Pascal in New York.

Chris famously split from actress wife Gwyneth in March 2014 after ten years of marriage.

He reportedly got engaged to Dakota last March and she called his kids with Gwyneth, 51, her “step-children”.

Chris is dad to daughter Apple, 19, and son Moses, 17.


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The Fifty Shades of Grey star declared that she loves Chris’s kids “like her life depends on it.”

She said:  “I love those kids like my life depends on it. With all my heart.

Chris Martin and Dakota Johnson visits Hindu temple ahead of Coldplay concert

“How do I feel about motherhood? I’m so open to that.

“I’ve gotten to this place where I really want to experience everything life has to offer.

“And especially being a woman, I’m like: ‘What a magical f***ing thing to do. What a crazy, magical, wild experience.

“If that’s meant to happen for me, I’m totally down for it.

“We’re not here for very long, so if I’m meant to be a mother, bring it on.”

Dakota also has the seal of approval from Gwyneth, who attended her 30th birthday party.

She said about Chris and Dakota: “I love her.

Dakota Johnson at a Roberto Coin event.

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Dakota is Hollywood royalty with two very famous parentsCredit: Getty
Dakota Johnson at The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon.

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She is said to be devastated she won’t see as much of Chris’s kidsCredit: Getty
Chris Martin of Coldplay performing at Rockefeller Plaza.

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The Coldplay star has been on a mammoth world tourCredit: Getty

“I can see how it would seem weird because it’s sort of unconventional.

“But I think, in this case, just having passed through it iteratively, I just adore her.

“I always start to think of the —what else can you bring in, instead of being resistant to or being made insecure by?

“There’s so much juice in leaning in to something like that.

“It’s not like there’s a finish line: ‘Oh, we consciously uncoupled; we’re done.’

“It’s a lifelong commitment to constantly reinvent your relationship with your ex, which you do presumably because you have children together.

“I don’t see a reason to do it if you don’t have children together. Some people do.

“But I think we put all the hard work in at the beginning. I would say very rarely is it difficult now.

“We’ve learned how to communicate with each other. We love each other. We laugh.

“We have the best of each other. It’s really nice. It makes you feel like you don’t have to lose.”

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