doc

When Jared Snow goes to the hospital, he’s usually in serious pain, which he hopes will be assuaged soon. But living with sickle cell disease as a Black man in America often tests this hope.

The Compton born stand-up comedian and actor has been living with sickle cell disease since he was a child. Hospital visits and pain have always been part of his life. But now he’s using his latest project, a documentary film called “You Look Fine,” to show the world how he copes as an entertainer with living with sickle cell disease in an industry steeped in image and perception.

Alongside actor-comedian Marlon Wayans, Snow wanted to make the film to raise awareness about the realities of sickle cell disease and how it impacts Black communities.

In the United States, sickle cell disease affects about 100,000 people, with more than 90% of cases being among Black people, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Sickle cell disease occurs in about one out of every 365 Black or African American births. People living with sickle cell disease have red blood cells that are crescent shaped due to a gene mutation. Because of this, the red blood cells can block blood flow to the rest of the body and can cause chronic pain, strokes, lung problems, infections and kidney disease.

The nearly 90-minute documentary has Snow filming himself inside small hospital rooms, nurses trying to find a vein in which to stick needles, and even him trying to work on material as he lies in hospital beds. The film also includes interviews with his friends.

Snow was adamant about showing the blood and needles in the film as well as footage of himself writhing in pain on hospital beds and the frustration of waiting hours for doctors to provide adequate dosages of pain medication that can help him. He cracks jokes during his hospital stays, but in between you get a front-row look at how tiring, tearful and emotionally devastating his illness can be. Interspersed within such footage are clips from his stand-up shows and him trying to live his best life by traveling, skydiving and even experiencing New York City snowfall.

The Times caught up with Snow and Wayans to talk about the film, vulnerability, Black men’s health, and finding levity through the pain.

J. Snow in the hospital in “You Look Fine”

(J. SnowPro)

I was struck by the handwritten notes with title ideas. Tell me where “You Look Fine” comes from?

J. Snow: It’s just something I hear a lot. It’s something I’ve heard a lot during my life. It’s cultural Black gaslighting is what it is. When you’re in pain, sometimes you look fine. When you are telling people, “I’m not fine,” they’re like, “Your hair is nice.” I can’t go to the hospital with gold. I had gold beads. Sometimes you go there looking too nice. Sometimes I got to dress down just to try to get the help. But if I dress too far down, I look homeless, and they really won’t be open to helping me. So you got to find the balance. But that’s kind of where it comes from. … I wanted to throw it back into people’s face. This is something that a lot of sickle cell warriors, and people with chronic illnesses in general hear, people with mental illness hear, and so I think it’s important to highlight how that literally is gaslighting.

What was your motivation to do this documentary now?

J.S.: I wanted to show that humor lives within this and that a lot of resilience and strength are also within this, and that was really the motivator. Also, just growing up with it, not having a lot of information, not seeing a lot of men talk about it. I wanted to be different, you know.

Marlon Wayans: For me it fits on brand for several reasons. One is because I love taking the dark things in life and finding some humor in it. And I think I try to do that with my comedy. I try to do it with my specials. I try to do it because I think we need to all find smiles no matter what your situation is; laughter is always healing and always necessary. Being African American, I grew up when sickle cell was like a prominent disease, and in our culture I know even when it came to dating, my mother would ask “Who you dating? You know, because if she got the trait, and you got the trait, you know, what could happen.” So I’ve always been aware of it, and I’ve lost now four friends to sickle cell. I just lost two in the last year. It’s a long fight, and so I’m here to support them and our culture and the awareness. And you know, Jay is a friend, and you know, I want him to see fame.

For Jared, in the film, you say, “I just want to see what my body can do.” I thought that was just so deeply profound. What is your relationship like with your body now, compared with the moment you were filming that?

J.S.: When somebody sees me eating a salad, and they’re like, “Oh, you eating salad?” I’m like, “This could save my life.” When I’m stretching and doing yoga, it’s not because I want to be a yogi. It’s because it literally gets oxygen into the joints that are suffering without oxygen. It stretches my hips and I want the longevity. I see what happens in sickle cell warriors and people without sickle cell who just age without moving frequently.

J. Snow walks through the halls of a hospital while dealing with issues from sickle cell.

(Courtesy of J. SnowPro)

Black people, especially for Black men, don’t have their pain taken seriously — be it their physical pain or their emotional pain. What has it been like for you to publicly show that pain?

J.S.: It’s been challenging. It took awhile for me to get to the point where I could even talk about this publicly, especially being in entertainment and trying to maintain a certain persona and image in entertainment where like your ego clashes against your vulnerability and you feeling like you’re weak. That’s the stigma that comes with people who admit that they have illnesses and stuff like that, especially in entertainment. It makes people not want to work with you. I’ve suffered through that. I’ve lost jobs while in the hospital because of this. And so it got to a place where it just was unavoidable. The pressure built so much and the frequency of the hospital visits became so crazy that it was like, you’re either going to be viewed as this very lazy, sometime-y person, or you’re going to come clean about what you’re actually dealing with and just face it.

M.W.: I live in the pain. I live in the vulnerability. I think that’s why I create my best work. You know, my parents died. I thought it was only appropriate to talk about that thing that hurts me so much. I think part of it takes courage, but at the same time, I know it’s necessary.

What was going through your mind when you first saw that footage of [Snow] in the hospital?

M.W.: “This [man] is crazy. Why you filming?” He made sure he had a GoPro on his foot and set cameras up — dude really wants to make it. Forget this disease. He may be faking it just to make it bigger. I was proud, right? That’s because I love the resilience, I love that you still have a passion, that you still have a thing that you want to do, and you have this art and this vessel and this expression, and I know that even though he’s hurting, that he’s healing at the same time, at least, you know, emotionally and spiritually. Because to put art out there at the time that it’s happening, that you’re in pain, that takes a lot of courage from the artist, and so I was proud. That’s why I stand behind it, because I think it’s something I’ve never seen, and I think it’s something that’s necessary for the culture.

How has this film changed your relationship to your understanding of masculinity and strength?

M.W.: For me, it’s just on theme. It hasn’t changed, it just enforced how I feel. You know, I’ve never been one to hide my feelings. I go to therapy. I have two therapists, I go on my walks. I talk to God. I’m reading my Bible. I understand that life is a long journey of suffering, and you need these outlets, and this movie and art are part of that. I have the stage. I always have this thing that I’m expressing because it helps me reconcile all that’s going on with me, especially when I take this pain and make other people laugh or are entertained by it, then I go, all right, I did something good with that thing that was bad. And so this enforces what I want people to feel. I want people to watch this. That’s why I stand behind this, because it’s on theme spiritually for me.

J.S.: I think when you stand outside of that vulnerability and you’re afraid to really go into it, I don’t know, I feel like that’s orbiting your true power. The most masculine thing you can do is face your highs and lows head on and own them. And that’s where you find out who you really are. This is where you find out what you can really bring to the table for yourself, for others, and where you become fearless. And that’s exactly what this showed me, was that I can do anything, I can conquer a lot of things. I walk around with a new energy because I’ve done this. I literally had a film on hard drives, and I sat for 11 months and edited it relentlessly, and now I have my first feature film because I was fearless enough to at least try to do it and not feel, what are people going to think, or what are people going to say? That didn’t matter to me. Also with this clock over my head, you don’t got time to think about stuff like that. It’s like, what do you want to do while you’re here? And what I wanted to do was make movies, make people laugh and inspire others to do things that they want to do too. And that took letting go of whatever this masculine image was that was blocking me.

J. Snow on stage at the Hollywood Laugh Factory

(Brianna Joseph)

The whole film is endearing, but I found those moments of levity so well- timed and so thoughtful and funny. How do Black people find those moments of levity, oftentimes, during these moments of pain?

M.W.: Because Black people have been through so much trauma before we get into family trauma, just as a people. We have suffered the most trauma from being separated from our family, slavery — we’ve been through it — and yet, and still, we find that funny. And that has been, I think, our saving grace is our sense of humor. It’s been a lifesaver. It’s been a raft in a really rough ocean for us. And I think it’s beautiful that we can. I will always promote laughing when you’re in your most pain to find the funny, because that takes a little pressure off. You’re laughing and crying at the same time. It’s like the best feeling.

J.S.: It’s like oxygen, like when the air is being sucked out of the room by your circumstances, your trauma, your pain or whatever. That little laugh is like a little breath of oxygen. It gives you something to keep going forward, to continue to think, “OK, like, where’s another solution from here? What else can I do here?” It gives you that breath that you need.

“LINDA looks so beautiful, so cool,” says Paul McCartney.

He’s just been watching a film about the decade of his life after The Beatles broke up — and it is filled with images of his much-missed first wife.

“The Linda stuff was very emotional,” he admits at the Man On The Run launch event in London.

“Linda, the kids, me and John [Lennon] — all these memories. It’s like my life flashing in front of me.”

Macca is talking to an intimate gathering that includes his daughter Stella, son James, superfan Noel Gallagher and the actor who will play him in a forthcoming biopic, Paul Mescal. Oh, and me.

He continues: “Seeing me and Linda interacting is special because, you know, she’s not here.

BAFTA GLAM

Maura Higgins and Sadie Sink leads stars at the Bafta film awards

WHINE & DINE

Brooklyn and Nicola’s life of nepo luxury… from £75k wine to supercar garage

“So is seeing the kids when they were little, because they’re not little any more. They’ve got kids of their own now.”

The film stirs memories of forming his own band, Wings, with Linda in 1971, prompting this from McCartney: “We tried to follow The Beatles — it’s mad!”

It also brings into sharp focus his relationship with Lennon, which broke down in the wake of The Beatles split but, as we see, they reconciled shortly before John’s death.

Directed by Oscar-winning Morgan Neville, Man On The Run is a masterpiece of ­documentary storytelling.

Rich in source material, partly because Linda was a professional photographer who also shot home movies, it is raw, heartfelt, funny, poignant and, crucially, not remotely sugar-coated.

Before the screening starts, Sir Paul, looking fit and well for his 83 years, strolls on to the stage and quips: “I just want to say thank you to Morgan for keeping in all the embarrassing moments that I asked him to take out.”

But let’s get back to the big ­question: How DO you follow The Beatles?

It was a conundrum that weighed heavily on McCartney as the ­Swinging Sixties drew to a close.

As he puts it himself in the movie, the first thing he did was “escape” and then he had to learn how “to grow up”.

He had married American Linda Eastman in March, 1969, at Marylebone Town Hall, London, and soon afterwards adopted her daughter Heather from a previous marriage.

McCartney was still only 27 when, on April 10, 1970, he told the world that he, John Lennon, George ­Harrison and Ringo Starr were going their separate ways.

The announcement came amid acrimony over the band’s crooked business manager Allen Klein, favoured at the time by John and the others but later described by Paul as “a sort of demon”.

It was all over for the band of four likely lads from Liverpool who changed popular culture for ever.

In private, McCartney had known for months that his songwriting partner Lennon was leaving.

“John broke up The Beatles,” Macca affirms in Man On The Run. “But I got the rap. And that’s a bit of a weight to bear.”

Around the same time as ­Lennon’s bombshell, in late 1969, there were rumours across the US and around the world that “Beatle Paul may be dead”.

There’s a hilarious moment in the film when his younger brother Mike is asked whether it’s true.

“It’s a hoax, it’s a con,” he exclaims, before being asked when was the last time he saw his brother.

Mike replies: “The last time? It was his funeral, I think!”

It turned out that McCartney had the perfect bolthole, in an archetypal middle of nowhere, to hide away and reset his life.

In 1966, he had bought High Park Farm, a 183-acre sheep farm on the Mull of Kintyre (yes, that explains the song) in Argyllshire, only reached via a “long and winding” track.

With its corrugated iron roof and general state of dilapidation, it was, as someone in the film points out, the sort of place a poor farm labourer might baulk at accepting.

But, as the Sixties ebbed to a close, Paul, Linda, their daughters, Heather and baby Mary, plus their Old English Sheepdog ­Martha decamped to the Scottish wilds.

In the movie, McCartney suggests, “We got up there to escape”, and ponders whether he would write “another note of music” before confessing to drowning himself in one wee dram of Scotch after another.

But, with the responsibility of supporting a young family on his shoulders, he realised that “it was a question of HAVING to grow up”.

At the Man On The Run launch, McCartney reflects: “With The Beatles, we were just lads. Everyone, all our management, used to call us ‘the boys’.

“Then I got married and then there was a baby [Mary] on the way.

“I had to grow up. I thought, ‘We can’t just be these ‘boys’ any more’. It was time to think about stuff.

“Even though the film is kind of madcap and you see all our insane decisions, in the background there were some sensible decisions, too.”

He remembers how Linda was his guiding light through those years.

“If there was an idea that was a little bit crazy, I’d say, ‘Should I do that? Could I do that?’ She’d say, ‘It’s allowed’. It was a brilliant philosophy in life.”

Director Neville picks up on this theme: “I looked into the questions Paul was trying to ask of himself, questions that I felt were universal.

“How do you deal with your own legacy and the expectations people have of you? How do you balance your career with your family?

“In Paul’s case, he made them one and the same. And that, I thought, was completely inspirational.”

Though Kintyre provided a necessary respite from the dazzling glare of publicity, Macca has never been far away from making music. It’s in his blood.

In 1970, he released his debut solo album, simply titled McCartney, with its intimate DIY aesthetic and featuring at least two songs with his beloved partner in mind — The Lovely Linda and Maybe I’m Amazed.

In 1971, he formed Wings with ex-Moody Blues musician Denny Laine and, controversially, Linda, who until that point had little or no experience, as core members.

Rehearsals for their debut album Wild Life took place at Macca’s converted barn in Scotland, dubbed Rude Studio.

It felt to him as if he was starting over, at the bottom of the pile.

“It was so impossible to do something like that,” he says today.

“Just go back to square one, show up at a university, don’t book hotels, take the dogs in a van. For some reason, we thought it was a great idea!”

If Wings took time to take flight, everything changed in 1973 when they released third album Band On The Run, loaded with classic tunes such as the title track, Jet and Let Me Roll It.

Recorded in extraordinary ­circumstances at EMI’s studio in Lagos, Nigeria, not far from where Paul and Linda were mugged at knifepoint, it paved the way for ­stadium-sized shows in America.

Without the McCartneys’ sojourn to Scotland, there would have been no Mull Of Kintyre, which, at the time of its release in 1977, became the biggest selling single of all time.

A “love song” to that remote idyll, it featured Great Highland bagpipes played so passionately by the local Campbeltown Pipe Band.

Yet, interwoven with stories of Wings’ upward trajectory, there are musings on McCartney’s strained relationship with Lennon during the Seventies.

We’re reminded of John’s caustic song How Do You Sleep?, directed at Paul with its line, “The only thing you done was yesterday”.

And there’s his old buddy left thinking, “Aside from Yesterday, what about Eleanor Rigby, Lady Madonna, Hey Jude, Let It Be and the rest?”

Macca says: “As it shows in the film, I knew John from a very early age — we were just a couple of rock and roll fans.

“We enjoyed hanging out together and we started writing little songs round at my place.

“My dad had a pipe in his drawer. So we thought we’d smoke it. We couldn’t find any tobacco so we smoked tea! We had all those ­memories in common.

“Then we went through the whole trajectory of The Beatles. But John was always just that guy to me, even when he was being really mean and I was having to take it.

“At the same time, it was like, ‘Yeah, it’s just John, he does that’. He’d always done that — so that made it a little bit easier.

“But I loved him, you know. I loved all the guys in The Beatles.

“I try and think of how else it could have been, but with just me, John, George and Ringo, it was a magic grouping. And we did OK!”

Near the end of Man On The Run, you see McCartney being confronted by camera crews about the shocking death of Lennon, who had been shot the day before outside the Dakota Building apartment he shared with partner Yoko Ono in New York.

Macca was criticised at the time for a rather cool, unemotional response — but one look in his eyes reveals his utter devastation.

As for the aforementioned “embarrassing moments” on display in the film, they are what make it so refreshing and endearing.

Hence you see McCartney singing Mary Had A Little Lamb wearing a red clown’s nose with Wings guitarist Henry McCullough looking as if he wants the earth to swallow him.

There’s a moustachioed Paul in a baggy pink suit performing the cabaret-style Gotta Sing Gotta Dance, complete with dancing girls, for his 1973 variety show.

And what about him getting ­busted by Japanese cops in 1980 for having 219g of cannabis in his luggage, spending nine days in custody before being booted out of the country?

McCartney was supposed to be embarking on a Wings tour of Japan but, as it turned out, they never played together again.

He says: “So many bits are embarrassing. The look on Henry McCullough’s face! He’s not happy.

“I was thinking, ‘Maybe we could cut those bits, the dance routine, cool out my image’.

“But Morgan said, ‘No, let me keep them in. You’ll see all that stuff but because you overcame it all and found yourself, you won in the end’.”

Finally, McCartney takes a long hard look at himself — at the ­person “growing up” in Man On The Run and the man he is today.

He says: “You start to see yourself, not just in the mirror, but to realise what your character is like.

“It’s natural for me to be enthusiastic so I don’t always see pitfalls, With me, it’s, “Nah, nah, just do it’.”

With Gordon Ramsay’s new Netflix docu-series accused of being a “sanitised” version of the celebrity chef’s family life, there are some key parts of his past that were completely missed out

Following the release of Being Gordon Ramsay on Netflix, the celebrity chef has been accused of portraying a ‘sanitised’ version of his life.

And although the six-parter mainly follows the opening of his ambitious 22 Bishopgate venture, the Hell’s Kitchen star does delve into parts of his past – including the “mess” he was born into, and his abusive father.

But there are some murkier elements of Gordon and his family’s history that were glossed over in the documentary. The docu-series is described by Netflix as “unflinchingly honest” – but some have criticised the absence of some major incidents from the Ramsays’ past.

Ensure our latest headlines always appear at the top of your Google Search by making us a Preferred Source. Click here to activate or add us as your Preferred Source in your Google search settings.

Prison sentences

The Ramsay family was rocked by a devastating betrayal in 2017, when it was revealed that certain members of Tana’s family had attempted to hack into multi-millionaire Gordon’s business accounts. Christopher Hutcheson, 77, and his sons, Adam and Christopher, admitted they had plotted to access his emails and finances almost 2000 times over a five-month period from October 2010 to March 2011.

It came after Tana’s dad was sacked as CEO of Gordon Ramsay Holdings Ltd, leading to a public fallout with his son-in-law. Between the three of them, they had managed to obtain information – including claims of a hair transplant and a fishing trip – which then later appeared in newspapers. After their crime was uncovered, Hutcheson Sr emailed his son saying: “Guess we have been rumbled. Bit late though..

Despite the family making up and Tana and Gordon not supporting the court case, the judge still deemed a prison sentence necessary. Tana’s dad was handed a six-month sentence, while Adam and Chris Jr. were each sentenced to four months suspended for two years.

Affair claims

It’s been widely reported that Sarah Symonds, claimed she was seeing Gordon for seven years, after meeting in 2001. Something he has always denied. Sarah, now 56, was was once dubbed a “professional mistress”, having had affairs with other married men, including politician Jeffrey Archer.

Sarah, who published the book Having an Affair? in 2007, ranted to the Daily Mail: “The title of the docu-series ‘Being Gordon Ramsay’ is totally fake – just like him.

“It’s misleading and disingenuous. A travesty in fact, as nothing about it was ‘Being Gordon’ at all.” She added the show is a “glossed over” version of Gordon, who she describes as a “bully, cheat, liar and serial philanderer”. Sarah said that the Netflix description of the show as “unflinchingly honest” makes her want to scream, adding that she is “trying to heal” from the trauma of her affair. Ramsay has denied ever having had an affair.

Ramsay’s brother

Gordon Ramsay was born in Glasgow, and lived on different council estates in the city, in Birmingham and in other areas of the UK. He does mention his younger brother Ronnie in the series, telling viewers when pressed that he is a heroin addict, but we don’t meet Ronnie.

He says: “We shared a bunk bed together. He’s 15 months younger than me, and he’s been an addict for the last four decades. I’ve gone to hell and back with him, and so I have a guilt complex. That could have been me. It could’ve been switched.”

Gordon has spoken more about Ronnie previously. It was revealed that back in 2007, he was arrested in Bali, after 100mg of heroin was reportedly found in his pocket, landing him a 10-month jail term. Speaking in the early 2000s to Waitrose Food Illustrated magazine, Gordon said: “I feel the pain, I feel it big time. I don’t think that my mum at 60 should still be putting up with it.

“It is hard dealing with Ronnie. He is a major responsibility. It is like having an 18-year-old to look after.” He also revealed, prior to the documentary, to the Mail that Ronnie had asked to perform at his daughter Holly’s wedding.

Gordon explained: “It was tough. It still pains me. He said: ‘Hey, have you got a music gig for the wedding? I’m free.’ I put down the phone and I said to Tana, ‘F**king hell, here we are in the house we sleep in and there’s my little brother still with two pit bulls in a council flat in Birmingham, busking.'”

Holly and Adam Peaty’s family feud

Gordon’s eldest daughter, Holly, and her new husband, Adam Peaty, were embroiled in a bitter family feud with the groom’s family in the lead-up to their wedding in December. The couple sensationally ended up uninviting all of Adam’s family, except for his sister Bethany, who was one of Holly’s bridesmaids.

The Netflix documentary makes no mention of the tension, although it does show scenes from the couples’ engagement party. According to Adam’s family, they were all cut from the show, despite being there to celebrate Adam’s proposal to Holly.

His mum, Caroline, and his cousin, Krystal, have claimed they were removed from scenes from Adam and Holly Ramsay’s engagement party. They reportedly made a number of touching speeches as part of the event, but these weren’t shown.

The pair vented on social media, with Krystal sharing a photo of her watching the engagement party scene on the doc. She said: “I was here in person, guess I didn’t make it on Netflix for my minute of fame.”

She sarcastically added: “How will I sleep at night?” And Adam’s mum Caroline shared a response in the comments section, asking: “Did they film my speech Krystal?”

She went on: ““I bet they didn’t because it was 100% full of love and positivity x.” Krystal replied: “I haven’t watched it all to be honest but no I haven’t see you and you look blurred out xx.”

Like this story? For more of the latest showbiz news and gossip, follow Mirror Celebs on TikTok , Snapchat , Instagram , Twitter , Facebook , YouTube and Threads .

OLYMPIAN Adam Peaty uses a new Netflix show to gush about having his family at his engagement party — despite later barring them from his wedding ceremony.

In the six-part series, the swimming champ and his fiancée Holly Ramsay, daughter of TV chef Gordon, are seen throwing a lavish bash with Peaty’s mum Caroline in attendance.

But Caroline was later barred from the wedding after an argument over not being invited on Holly’s hen do.

Talking ahead of next week’s release of Being Gordon Ramsay, Peaty, 31, says: “I honestly loved walking into that room because it was full of people from all areas of our lives, all there to fully enjoy and to celebrate.”

The documentary was filmed early last year.

But by the time of Peaty’s wedding to Holly, 26, in December, he had fallen out with his family and they were barred from the ceremony.

STICKING TOGETHER

Adam Peaty’s estranged mum shares gushing tribute to her ‘rock’ amid feud

FAMILY HEARTACHE

Gordon Ramsay says addict brother ‘begged’ to play gig at Holly’s wedding

They have decided they do not want to feature in the documentary, which was filmed early last year.

In the series, Peaty talks about Holly’s family, including Gordon and his wife Tana, saying: “I’ve seen obviously how her family works and I think when you’re marrying someone, you’re also marrying into the family.”

In the doc, Gordon is also heard saying: “Adam is so grounded, he’s not walking around as Olympic champion with his head up his arse. He’s my type of guy.”

But at no point in the documentary does Holly reciprocate the sentiment — and the rift between Adam and his family is brushed over.