Is there anything better than a good old British pub? Well, a Dutch person may prefer a bruine kroeg (brown bar). Often nondescript from the outside and thus easy to miss, these cosy, homely, rustic cafe-style bars typically have plain dark-wood furniture, candles on the tables, aged knick-knacks and faded pictures. There will be dim lighting, usually from antique-style lamps, and they make ideal hubs – they are often referred to as a “surrogate living room”.
The name comes from the venues’ tobacco-stained walls and ceilings, which since the smoking ban started in 2008 have been topped up by dark brown paint. Beers and jenevers (Dutch gins) are the most popular drinks, and snacks such as bitterballen (meat ragout croquettes), boiled eggs and borrelnootjes (nuts with a crispy coating) are often available too. The choice of background music is a vital component; soft vintage jazz is ideal, so when I visited Cafe ’t Hooischip the Michael Jackson and Culture Club soundtrack jarred somewhat with the cosy, historic setting.
These drinking rooms used to be all-male hangouts, but today everyone, young and old, flocks to them. Few places encapsulate Dutch culture and tradition like the bruine kroegen. But in recent years they have come under threat from ever-rising rates, property prices and modern bars that are able to generate greater income.
They are still found throughout the Netherlands but it is estimated that more than a quarter have closed since 2010. That said, those I visited in the centre of Amsterdam (the city has the highest density, and boasts hundreds) appeared to be thriving.
This one, in the Jordaan district, has the usual enticing brown bar attributes and features a cute curved wooden staircase leading to a cubby-hole room above with further seating. The crowd is mainly Dutch, but I deduct a point because it feels a little too polished for a brown bar. Even worse, the English couple next to me are discussing their Ocado order for their return to London, which completely ruins the ambience. 7/10
It is delightful to approach a building so wonky that the leaded windows are positioned at a striking slant. So it is disappointing to then learn that the previous owner of Café Pieper installed them on purpose to accentuate the historic feel of this venue, which has been trading since 1665. That’s the main quandary when embarking on a brown bar crawl – how much of the old-time feel is genuine, how much is manufactured?
However, once inside the small, low-ceilinged venue, which seats about 25 with room for a few more at the bar, there is a lovely feeling of gezelligheid (conviviality) and cosiness. Locals tend to visit in the evening, tourists in the day. It’s heartening to see that here, as in most of the brown bars I visited, there’s a strong contingent of young people.
“It’s like a second home for our regulars; we know exactly what they like to drink,” says manager Chag Walvisch, who was a regular himself for 10 years before being asked to work here two years ago. “They appreciate the considerably higher service level you get in a brown bar. We are always welcoming and relaxed about guests starting a tab rather than having to pay each time they buy a round – that sort of thing. You can come here alone and easily get into a conversation; you just don’t get all that in a normal bar. We had some Americans come in for four days in a row last week because they loved it so much.” 8/10
It’s quite remarkable that a bar so homely, cosy and frozen in time is only moments from Centraal Station at the end of Warmoesstraat, one of the most garishly touristy streets in Amsterdam, stuffed with fast-food restaurants and neon signs.
Dating from 1519, it’s among the oldest bars in Amsterdam, with a name that translates as “in the monkey”, apparently evolving from when sailors would return from the East Indies with pet monkeys, sometimes paying their tabs with them, and as a result the bar would be full of apes. Around the dark, wooden bar are displays of vintage clay beer bottles, a model boat – and lots of statues and posters of monkeys, of course.
“There’s no threat to brown bars, at least in the centre of the city,” says bartender Richard Krelekamp, as he pours me a Wolf white beer for €6, although two of those euros seem to be for froth, due to the way beers in these parts are served with a big head. “If anything, more and more people are coming here,” says Krelekamp. “They are fed up of fancy bars and expensive cocktails they’ve never heard of. About half of our customers are tourists, the other half locals.” 8/10
From the outside, Café Eijlders looks like any touristy cafe, but step inside and you are transported back to the 1940s, when it opened as a meeting place for Dutch artists, writers, and bohemians in occupied Amsterdam. Centred around the semicircular bar, where stools, chairs and banquettes fan outwards, are two raised tables.
The colour scheme is in various shades of dark brown and dark red, from the burgundy upholstery on the chairs to the garish and dated floor tiles. A soundtrack of Nina Simone and Nat King Cole plays softly in the background. There’s not a tourist in sight despite this bar being metres from the hellish tourist trap that is Leidseplein. 7/10
Considered to be the smallest bar in Amsterdam, Café De Dokter has no more than 20 seats in total. The chandelier above my head, covered in dust and cobwebs, has a Miss Havisham vibe, while there’s no way of telling the time from the clock on the wall as it is so deeply layered in grime. There are several paintings, but again I have no clue what they depict due to the heavy layers of dust. The ceiling and walls look as if they haven’t been cleaned since the place opened in 1798.
And that is exactly why I love it – Café De Dokter oozes character. I love it even though the woman at the bar is terse, whereas all the staff I’ve encountered at other brown bars have been very friendly. Despite the dust, the glasses are spotless, and the floor and furniture sparkling clean. And there’s some sleepy vintage jazz playing, which is entirely appropriate for the setting. 9/10
The trip was provided by I Amsterdam. Eurostar has direct trains from London to Amsterdam from £57. Hotel Jakarta has doubles from €218 B&B; Conscious Hotel Museum Square has doubles from €114 room-only