Trewley-Precious opened up about the pressure she felt to stay in her marriage because of her culture, admitting she was left feeling ashamed after walking away
Trewley-Precious has let cameras into her family life(Image: Channel 4)
A Channel 4 star has opened up about her love life.
The Secret Lives of Gypsy Wives star broke down in tears as she said that she felt like a “failure” after leaving her marriage. Trewley-Precious made a return to our TV screens tonight (August 10) for another episode of her Channel 4 reality show, as she yet again allows cameras into her family life.
She attempts to forge a career online, while balancing the expectations of her traditional Traveller family. During a heartfelt moment, the reality star revealed she married at just 19 and left her husband three years later, admitting she felt a huge amount of shame because of the expectations placed on her within her culture.
In some Traveller communities, traditional expectations can place a strong emphasis on women marrying young, settling down and having children.
Trewley was discussing her life with a friend when she was asked how her family felt about her being a “rule breaker”, with her friend pointing out that, “realistically”, she should probably have been married with three children by now.
Speaking to the camera, Trewley explained: “Yeah, I’ve done one of those things. I was in a relationship for four years, I was a wife. To be married in our culture means that you’ve been given to a man without church and you’re set for life.”
The star went on to reveal that she had married her husband when she was just 19. “I got married to him when I was 19 and then I left him when I was 22,” she said. “I got out of there, it just wasn’t good, it wasn’t the nicest thing.” But despite leaving a relationship she says was not good for her, Trewley admitted she struggled emotionally with her decision.
“I felt a lot of shame when I left him, just because it felt like I had failed,” she said. Later, back in bed with her friend, Trewley became visibly emotional as she reflected on how long she had remained in the marriage. To think I was in such a bad place being in that marriage for so long,” she said. “I should have left that two years prior to everything and I didn’t because it was a shame.”
Fighting back tears, Trewley explained that the experience had fundamentally changed the way she viewed relationships and, most importantly, herself.
“It taught me that the only thing we had in common at that time is that we both didn’t love me and now I do,” she said. “I’d never be in something like that ever, ever, ever, ever again.”
Trewley went on to discuss the expectations she had grown up with about marriage and standing by a husband “through thick and thin”.
“I’ve seen a lot of women survive their marriages, survive this and that but I’m not doing that,” she said. “I’ve just been raised that you stand by a man through thick and thin but now that I’m older, I’ve also realised you show a man that you’ll go through anything with him, they’ll put you through everything.”
Her comments appeared to bring up painful memories of her own family, with Trewley becoming overwhelmed as she questioned how her mum had endured so much.
“How could my mum put up with so much, do so much, I can’t,” she said through tears. “In my head, I just couldn’t do what my mum did. So I failed.”
But her friend immediately reassured her that leaving an unhappy marriage did not mean she had failed. “No you haven’t failed. You know your worth,” her friend told her. Trewley admitted that learning her own worth had taken time. “I didn’t for a long time but it took me ages to get it back,” she said.
And it appears the experience has completely changed what she wants from a future relationship. “The next person I will be with, they will tick, tick, tick,” Trewley said.
You can catch up on Secret Lives of Gypsy Wives on Channel 4.